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Cranking my HOG

    THE OTHER DAY 🇺🇸🇺🇸📺📺MY WIFE ASKED ME IF I COULD STOP CRANKIN MY HOG ☠️☠️SO SHE COULD HEAR THE TV. 📺GUESS 🇺🇸🇺🇸🤬🤬WHAT I 💪🏻💪🏻TOLD HER? OF COURSE HONEY IM SORRY☠️☠️ I WILL BE MORE ☠️☠️MINDFUL OF OTHERS WHILE IM CRANKIN ☠️☠️MY HOG!!!🇺🇸🇺🇸🤬. LOVE 🇺🇸🇺🇸🤬🤬🤬YOU. THE ONLY THING🇺🇸🇺🇸 I LOVE MORE THAN CRANKIN🤬🤬 MY HOG IS MY WIFE. CRANK WITH RESPECT BROTHERS💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

    I want to breed with Sparky

      Breed with Clash Royale Sparky copypasta
      I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I’ve never wanted to breed with anything more than I want to with Sparky. That perfect, curvy body. Those bountiful coils. The child-bearing chassis of a literal goddess. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her, pass my genes through her, and have her birth a set of perfect zappies. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get Sparky pregnant. A N Y THIN G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.

      Benefits of NoFap

        NoFap copypasta
        Benefits of NoFap:
        
        Day 1 - Nothing. You're still in withdrawal and might actually feel worse.
        
        Day 5 - Improved motivation and productivity.
        
        Day 10 - Better energy and sleep.
        
        Day 30 - Greater confidence and self-esteem. Mental clarity.
        
        Day 60 - Increased muscle mass, bone density, and cardiovascular capacity. Testosterone through the roof.
        
        Day 120 - Higher sperm count. Increased erection strength and duration.
        
        Day 365 - Your voice deepens and your skull becomes more chad-like. Increased erection girth and length.
        
        Day 730 - Faster reaction time. 10 additional IQ points.
        
        Day 1500 - Starbucks baristas start writing their numbers on your receipts. Your ex wants to get back together. You feel tempted but ultimately turn her down.
        
        Day 3000 - You can't keep up with all your tinder matches. Strange women begin hitting on you in public. You worry about your female boss. Fortunately she keeps it professional.
        
        Day 6000 - Ex shows up at your door crying and begging you to take her back. You don't even make eye contact—just call the police right away. Your female boss quits. She can't take it anymore and fears what she might do to you if she stays.
        
        Day 12000 - Every swipe on tinder is a match. Even girls you swipe left get matched with you somehow. Romantic messages fill up your inbox every day—all 15gb of it—you upgrade your Gmail account to premium.
        
        Day 30000 - You don't have to work anymore. JK Rowling signs over half of her Harry Potter royalties to you in a grand gesture of love. You tell her you can't be with her because she's too controversial. She weeps quietly. The next morning, Rowling tweets that trans women are women and Dumbledore's sexual orientation is nobody's business.
        
        Day 60000 - Scientists propose that attraction to you be classified as its own sexual orientation, which will account for 97.5 percent of the world's population. Paradoxically, you no longer feel any sexual desire. You have achieved a higher consciousness and now love every human-being equally.
        
        Day 100,000 - Your IQ doubles, triples, and quadruples. You come up with a workable model of quantum gravity in a rainy Sunday afternoon. Elon Musk steps down from SpaceX to work for you. You decide to put space exploration on hold to focus on achieving clean energy through nuclear fusion.
        
        Day 200,000 - You've solved the problem of nuclear fusion. You also solved the problems of climate change, poverty, crime, and racism. You have been elected the very first President of the World.
        
        Day 500,000 - It's been over half a million days since you last fapped. You have achieved everything, understood everything, and solved every problem faced by humanity. All that needs to be done has been done. There's nothing left to do.
        
        You give your fellow humans one last look—they're still fapping, trapped in their primitive way—but you don't judge. The path of NoFap was never meant for the ordinary men. "Try not to fap. But if you must, use lube." Those were your parting words.
        
        Now, released from all shackles of the mundane, and purified of all imperfections, your body ephemeralizes, as your ever-illuminated consciousness ascends into another dimension.

        Tsundere

          Oh senpai, hey! I didn't know you walked this way. We're right in front of your house? I-I wasn't looking or anything, I just happened to be walking by! It'd be creepy to know where you live, s-stupid! What was I walking by for? OKAY! I had to give you something! L-listen, Don't get the wrong idea, I was just up at 4 am cooking like schoolgirls do and it happened to be your favorite and I thought maybe you'd like some since I had extra! BE GRATEFUL! UGHHIUGH! Uhh, how did I know it was your favorite? Well I... aaaAAAAAAAHHH!

          Quandale Dingle

            Quandale Dingle revolves around 🔃 a 📸 series of ironic 🤣💯 memes involving a 🚨💰 man named ❤ “ Quandale Dingle.”based on 🔛 a 🎉 viral screenshot of a PC 💻💻 login screen 🖥🖥 for 🍆 a 🅰🏻 man 👍 with 👦 the 👀 name. The 😠 earliest known 👁💫 upload of 💰💦 the screenshot was posted ✉✉ to ⛔ Twitter in 🅰 September 2021 and 🙄😘 went viral through reposts, inspiring 😍 further 🤔 memes referencing the name 😒 and how ridiculous 😤😤 it 😳💕 is. 🙀🙌 In 🚗 late ⏰🕐 2021 throughout early 🥂🥂 2022 people ❤ began using 📤 distorted images of people ♀👯 to ♀ represent ✊ Quandale Dingle in ironic 😂🤣 memes. ✋ The 👦👉 name also inspired 💡 a trend 🚮 where 😠☝ TikTokers create 📲 parody RapTV posts ⤵ about 🏽 Quandale.
            Quandale Dingle revolves around a series of ironic memes involving a man named “ Quandale Dingle.”based on a viral screenshot of a PC login screen for a man with the name. The earliest known upload of the screenshot was posted to Twitter in September 2021 and went viral through reposts, inspiring further memes referencing the name and how ridiculous it is. In late 2021 throughout early 2022 people began using distorted images of people to represent Quandale Dingle in ironic memes. The name also inspired a trend where TikTokers create parody RapTV posts about Quandale.

            Got really horny during no way home.

              Spiderman No Way Home copypasta
              I got really horny and needed to bust. I started stroking my shit during the zendaya scenes and accidentally nutted to Tom 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭