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I am a gecko tehee

    Gecko furry copypasta
    >.< hewwoooo!!! I am a gecko tehee uwu OwO..... I-i-i-i kinda like u >.< wags my cute little tail oWo i wanna see ur throbbing meat scepter >_< >.< wags tail faster. Y-y-you don't like me? >.< grabs ur cock anyways cuz i want it so badly UwU ill make it quick i swear. starts stroking ur fat dick OwO starts sucking it i love the way ur cock tastes u cutie >.< strokes ur dick faster and makes u cum all over my lizard face >.< UwU your cum tastes so salty giggles and gets back on ur dick

    We the Anti Furry Allegiance.

      We the Anti Furry Allegiance. Our motto is “If you dress as an animal you got the same rights.” The uniforms we wear are based the U.S. Marines but instead of an American flag it’s the phone number to a psychologist. The Allegiance has over 25,000 member worldwide, each of whom is for deployment at any time. There are several different units with different goals. My unit, Unit 5, goal is to prevent another rainfurrest from happening again. We have had success with this and will continue to do this public service. Thank you and god bless

      I PRANK CALLED AMBER HEARD AT 3 AM AND I WOKE UP WITH SH*T BESIDE ME

        Johnny Depp-Amber Heard trial copypasta
        So I was watching the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard trial, and when it reached the part where it was revealed that Amber shat on Johnny's side of the bed, I was fascinated. Now, first of all, I didn't even know women could fart, let alone take a WHOLE ASS SHIT on someone's bed. And I know for a fact that that woman actually did the deed, because I got to agree with JD that it was neither of his dogs. Literally huge chunks of turd were scattered on the sheets as shown in the photo but Amber is gonna blame the fucking dogs? You're not fooling anybody, Amber! Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those weirdos who gets turned on by literal pieces of shit spewing out of someone's ass, but for some reason I was just intrigued by the mere fact that a woman had the ability to excrete such amounts of fecal matter. So I did some research on Bing and after 5 gruelling hours, I managed to find Amber Heard's number so I decided to call her. Only for me to realize seconds after making the call that it was 3AM and she probably wouldn't even respond. I was nervous: what if she doesn't respond? How will I be able to make this inquiry about how her body could be capable of doing such a feat? Luckily, it went to voicemail and so I decided to leave a lil message for Amber: "Hey Amber, this might be a long shot but I just want to ask did you really take a dump on Mister Sparrow's bed and I was wondering if you were going to do the same to mine? Thank you!". I had obviously wanted to prank her, and as I went to sleep I didn't think much of the message. But then, about 4 hours later, I was awaken by this pungent, putrid stench that almost made me think that I shat myself in my sleep again. I recalled the events of the previous night, and realized something. I slowly turned myself to face the other side of my bed, nervously anticipating... And it was true, Amber Heard intruded my home and took a BIG FAT SHIT in my bed. Was I happy, was I mad? I didn't really know, but I sure was glad to discover first-hand that women could indeed defecate.

        Haha yeah I’d never touch hands

          Islam prayer copypasta
          Haha yeah I'd never touch hands, thighs or feet with you during the prayer lol😅.... unless there's no one in the mosque other than us🙄🙄🙄..... Haha jk I would just pray alone in the corner😔 and feel lonely.... unless you follow me outside the mosque🏃‍♂️.... Lmao jk, even if we exchanged numbers it would be just to help each other with reciting Quran😂😂... unless one night during Ramadan.... I feel very lonely and nobody's answering my texts and then I text you: "I can't forget your smell".... Haha I'M JUST Joking wtf that's a really weird message that would make you block me immediately and tell everyone that I'm gay and tried to hit on you!!!... unless you reply: "I was bending over really hard while praying on purpose, to let you get a whiff of my butt".... ROFL THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN it's gay and homosexuality is a sin in Islam.... unless we find a liberal Sheikh who issues a fatwa that homosexuality isn't a sin and we start dating.... Hahahaha it's so dumb I'm literally laughing so hard rn, like even if we started dating, our relationship would go nowhere since gay marriage is illegal in Islamic countries.... unless we move to the US and start a new life and adopt a child and name him Saddam.... OMG that's so dumb our families would disown us and we'll lose everyone's respect.... unless we don't tell anybody and we build a mosque and become Imams and everyone in our community will love us for being God's men and building a mosque in a western country.... Lol what a stupid idea hahaha like how are we even going to live together afterwards, everyone will suspect that we're gay... unless we buy houses that are next to each other and build an underground tunnel that connects them.... LOOOOL I'm such a goofball, like that's not a good environment for raising our son Saddam!!!.... unless that's the point of having a son named Saddam, he will have a damaged childhood that will lead to him becoming a merciless dictator just like Hitler...... Lol noooo I would never do something that will lead to a second holocaust
          
          unless???....😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

          Not funny I didn’t laugh

            Not funny didn't laugh copypasta
            Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth
            Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you.

            Medusa is the ultimate blowjob machine.

              Medusa is the ultimate blowjob machine. Everyone that looks at her gets rock hard, and her 12-15 snakes are ready to suck every single cock that comes at her. In Greek Mythology, Medusa is also called Gorgo, because she is gorging all those cocks all by herself. It is a common misconception that the poison from her snakes is lethal, but the fact of the matter is that it works as the perfect aphrodisiac, creating a stone ocean of pleasure. You will not ever want to go back to normal blowjobs ever again, after you tried getting seduca'd by the medusa.