i took revenge on the fly that sexually assaulted me
I was trying to take a fat shit a diarrhea to be exact. I was just minding my own shitting business until a fly by the age of 18 days (42 in fly years) sexually assaulted my ass and crawled all over it. I got scared and jumped up and down to get the fly off my ass. And what happened next made me shit all over the toilet seat. But i didn't care about that, that was the least of my worries. What i worry about is my ptsd because of it. I went to 10 therapists and they all told me im stupid and its a fly. I was too scared to take a shit after 4 days. But one day i had to piss and... i saw him... the fly that sexually assaulted me, I as a professional football player (well in my dreams i am) aimed my dick at the fly and said "hasta la vista baby" and pissed on the fly killing him instantly then i wiped the toilet seat clean and took the fattest shit with no worry at all.
Existe quem seja virgem, exista quem seja assexual e até aqueles que não curtam sexo, mas você, meu amigo... ah, você... você é o INTRANSÁVEL. Você exala o anti-sexo, sua aura repele o feminino, provavelmente há um campo de força à sua volta que impede mulheres de tocarem em você
Open English translatedClose
There are those who are virgins, there are those who are asexual and even those who do not enjoy sex, but you, my friend... ah, you... you are the UNTRANSVABLE. You exude anti-sex, your aura repels the feminine, there is probably a force field around you that prevents women from touching you
A parte mais engraçado pra mim é que ele não faz isso porque está "desaparecendo da mídia". Ele simplesmente é burro mesmo. Ele é o tipo de burro que a gente raramente encontra por aí, pelo menos não mais. O Monark é uma relíquia de tempos mais simples, um burro bem burro, sem nenhum objetivo na vida além de ser burro. Tentam colocá-lo em alguma caixinha, "Ah é fascista!", "Ah é bolsonarista!", "Ah é centrista!", mas a verdade é que ele não tem ideologia além da burrice. Ele só é burro.
Eu admito, é difícil de entender isso. É um mistério como alguém pode ser assim. Mas ele não tem objetivos, ele não tem planos mirabolantes, ele só é burro. Ninguém consegue torná-lo ferramenta política, ele é burro demais para seguir ordens; ninguém consegue fazer dinheiro em cima dele, ele é burro demais para ficar quieto. Ele é uma criança de 12 anos presa no corpo de um homem de 34. É burro. Burríssimo.
Ao invés de prendê-lo, deveríamos colocá-lo em um programa tipo The Truman Show. O potencial de entretenimento é infinito. Fala-se muito das riquezas naturais do país, de nosso petróleo, da Amazônia, mas e nossos burros? E o Monark? Ele não precisa de muito para ser feliz. Só enfia maconha no cara. Ele é burro. Burro demais da conta. Venderíamos o programa para o mundo inteiro, e o Brasil logo logo se tornaria Dinamarca. À base de nosso maior burro. Ele simplesmente é burro mesmo. Não existe nada além disso. Burro.
Open English translatedClose
The funniest part for me is that he doesn't do it because he's "disappearing from the media". He's just really stupid. He's the kind of donkey you rarely find around, at least not anymore. The Monark is a relic of simpler times, a very dumb donkey with no purpose in life other than being dumb. They try to put him in some little box, "Ah he's a fascist!", "Ah he's a bolsonarista!", "Ah he's centrist!", but the truth is that he has no ideology other than stupidity. He's just dumb.
I admit, this is hard to understand. It's a mystery how anyone can be like that. But he has no goals, he has no fancy plans, he's just dumb. Nobody can make him a political tool, he is too stupid to follow orders; nobody can make money off of him, he's too dumb to keep quiet. He's a 12 year old trapped in the body of a 34 year old man. He's dumb. Stupid.
Instead of arresting him, we should put him on a show like The Truman Show. The entertainment potential is infinite. There is a lot of talk about the country's natural wealth, our oil, the Amazon, but what about our donkeys? And the Monarch? He doesn't need much to be happy. Just put weed in the guy. He's dumb. Too dumb to count. We would sell the program to the whole world, and Brazil would soon become Denmark. On the basis of our biggest donkey. He's just really stupid. There is nothing beyond that. Dumb.
Do you need help taking off the NFT🤮 pfp? Go to your profile, tap on your pfp, choose gallery and pick an image from your phone/computer. The NFT🤮 should stop appearing as your profile picture.
Omg can I have a handjob pweasies teasies? 🥺👉👈 just a wittle Willy tug? Maybe choke my chicken? Massage my massive mariner? Stroke my slimey sausage? Stretch my stimulated stabber? Rub my radioactive rigatoni? Persuade my perky peanous?
Like I said earlier, I've never asked anyone this as i'm extremely nervous since it's so weird but I feel like I trust you enough at this point and like I said before, I totally understand if you don't want to do this.
Is there anyway you could give me a hand job? I'm so so so so horney to the point we're I literally feel like I'm going to blow up if I don't do something soon and jerking off alone isn't enough. Keep in mind that I'm NOT asking for anything further I promise. I simply want you to jerk me off as I've always dreamed of having it done by someone else and it's literally not that difficult at all. It's just so so embarrassing to ask someone so that why I took a lot of time thinking of who to ask. Like I said before, I totally understand if you don't want to and I apologize if I grossed you out or made you uncomfortable in anyway but I just had to ask because the worst that could happen is you saying no which isn't that bad. I'm so scared what you're going to say!!!!! 😢😢😢
IM SO SCARED OMG
OUR FRIENDSHIP COULD BE OVER!!!! 😢😢😢😢
