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I can cum just by tensing my asshole

    I can cum just by tensing my asshole
    
    So the other day I made a discovery so miraculous Christopher Columbus would've tried to colonise it. I was getting down to some me time, as we all do, however I found that after loading my video of choice and doing one stroke that I already felt right on the edge, because I didn't want to finish so early into my session I let go to let the sensation settle down, to my dismay I found that I was still feeling really close nearly a minute or two later. At this point I'm really confused, because I have stroked myself once and let myself rest for two minutes and it still feels like I've been jerking it the whole time. This is when curiosity strikes, I thought to myself "can I finish myself with no hands?" Now for the people who don't know, men can make themselves feel more pleasure and sensitivity by tensing their legs and butt, in a sudden burst of the weirdest mix of horny curiosity and determination I tensed my butt in just the right away over the span of a minute and I was so shocked when it actually fucking worked, I just made myself cum with tensing and willpower, this was ground breaking. I have now found I have the ability to do this without even using my hands in the first place and I'm not sure if I'm God or his biggest mistake.

    Vaporeon (uwu version)

      Hey guys, did u knyow that in tewms of mawe human an femawe Pokémwown bweeding, Vapwoweown iws tw mwost compatibwe Pokémwown fow humans? Not ownwy awe twy in tw fiewd egg gwoub, which iws mwostwy compwiwsed of mammaws, Vapwoweown awe an abwewage of 3”03’ taww an 63.9 pwounds, thiws means twy’we wawge enugh two be abwe hanwe human dicks, an with twiw impwessibwe Base Stats fow HP an access two Acid Awmwow, u can be wough with ownnye. Due two twiw mwostwy watew based biowogy, twwe’s nyo doubt in my mind that an awoused Vapwoweown wouwd be incwedibwy wet, so wet that u couwd easiwy habwe sex with ownnye fow houws without getting sowe. They can awso weawn tw muvs Attwact, Baby-Doww Enyes, Captivate, Chawm, an Taiw Whip, awowng with nyot habing fwuw two hide nyippwes, so it’d be incwedibwy easy fow ownnye two get u in tw mwowod. With twiw abiwities Watew Absowb an Hydwatiown, twy can easiwy wecuvw fwom fatigue with enugh watew. No otww Pokémwown comes cwose two thiws webwew of compatibiwity. Awso, fwun fact, if u puww out enugh, u can make uw Vapwoweown tuwn white. Vapwoweown iws witewawwy bwuiwt fow human dick. Ungodwy defense stat+high HP pwowow+Acid Awmwow means it can take cock aww day, aww shapes an sizes an stiww comii fow mwowe uwu
      Hey g-guys, did you knyow that in tewms of mawe *whispers to self* human and femawe Pokémon bweeding, Vapoweon is t-t-the most compatibwe Pokémon fow humans?!?1 N-Nyot only awe they in t-t-the fiewd egg group, which is mostly compwised of mammaws, Vapoweon awe an avewage of 3”03’ taww and 63.9 pounds, this means t-they’we large enyough t-to be abwe handwe human dicks, and with theiw impwessive Base Stats fow H-HP and access t-to Acid Armor, you c-can be rough with onye. Due t-to theiw mostly watew based biology, thewe’s no doubt in my mind that an awoused Vapoweon w-wouwd be i-incwedibwy wet, so wet that you could easiwy have sex with o-one fow houws without getting sowe. They c-can also learn t-t-the moves Attract, Baby-Doww Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with nyot having fuw t-to hide nyippwes, so it’d be i-incwedibwy easy fow o-one t-to get you in t-t-the mood. W-With theiw abilities Water A-Absowb and Hydwation, they c-can easiwy wecuvw fwom fatigue with enyough watew. Nyo othew Pokémon comes cwose t-to this wevew of c-c-compatibiwity. Awso, f-fun fact, if you p-p-puww out enough, you c-can make youw Vapoweon turn white. Vapoweon is witewawwy buiwt fow human d**k. Ungodwy d-d-defense stat+high H-HP poow+Acid Armor means i-it c-can take cock all day, x3 all s-s-shapes and sizes and stiww come fow mowe

      You want to know why I love dat boi?

        You want to know why I love dat boi? Dat boi is a completely self-made meme. So many other memes are based in nostalgic childrens shows, funny faces, relatable situations, or references. Not dat boi. Dat boi is completely absurd. It's a low-res frog on a unicycle, and an arbitrary method for greeting him. The first person to ever upvote dat boi did not do so out of recognition. The first person to ever upvote dat boi did not do so because a pre-existing meme format. The first person to ever upvote dat boi upvoted a meme literally pulled from the ether by sheer human creativity and willpower. Dat boi is evidence that humans can stare into the meaningless void of eternity and force their own meaning onto to it. I will always upvote dat boi, o shit waddup!

        Benadryl

          🕷🕷🕷🕷👁🪳👁🪳👁🪳👁👹🪳👁👺👁👺👺👁👺👺👹👹👹🪳👹🪳👁🕷👁🕷👹🪳👹🪳👹👁🕷👁👺👁👺👁🪳👹🪳👹🪳👹👁🕷👺👁🕷🕷🕷🪳🪳🪳🕳🕷👁🕷👁🪳👁🕷👁🕷🕳👺🕳🕷🕳🪳👁🪳👹🕷👹🕷👁🪳👁🪳🕳🪳🕳🕷👁👺👁🕷👹🪳👹🕷🕳👺👁🕷👹🪳👹🪳👹🕷👹🕷👁🕷🕷🕷🕷🕷👁👁👁👁👁👁🪳👹🕷👁🕷👁👺👺👁👺👹👺👹🪳👁🪳🕳🪳👁

          HAVE A LUSTY😫 LEIF🍃 ERIKSON☀️ DAY

            As we all know, the cocky🍆 Christopher Columbus🚌 sailed⛵️ the ocean🌊 blue in 1️⃣4️⃣9️⃣2️⃣ on a quest for spices🌶 and even spicier🔥 sex. What a lot of us don't realize🤡, however, is that cucklord🤢 Chris was an even sussier🤔 baka🤮 than we thought💭. About 5️⃣ centuries prior, a naughty😈 Nord🚣‍♂️ by the name of Leif🍃 Erikson☀️ had already set foot🦶 on the North⬆️ American🌎 continent. Our lecherously😵‍💫 libidinous😛 Leify boi was on his way to Greenland🇬🇱 when he got blown👄🌭 off course to land in the greatest country on earth🗺: that's right, Canada🇨🇦!!1! Now, every president since Lyndong🍌 B. Johnson🌽 has recognized lascivious😳 Leif🍁, and you should too. Make sure you celebrate🎉 the true spirit👻 of today📆 by getting colonized in the ass🍑 by a voluminous🤤 viking!! Share this with 1️⃣3️⃣ historical hoebuckets🪣 who are horny👹 for nutty🥒💦 Nords. You'd better hope you get at least 🔟 back, or else instead of a sensual🥵 sexplorer❤️‍🔥, you'll be nothing but a Santa🎅 Maria sleazebag‼️

            ITS BOYFRIENDS DAY💁‍♂️

              🗣️ATTENTION 🫡 SLUTS AND BOY TOYS‼️ ITS BOYFRIENDS DAY💁‍♂️ You know what THAT means 😏💦 Today 📆 is the DAY 🕺 we celebrate 🎉 our mans 👨‍🦰 and our man’s mans 👯‍♂️ so POP 💥 your PUSSY 🐱 for some 🍆BIG BOYFRIEND DICK🍆and take a BIG SIP 😮‍💨💦 of some YUMMY CUMMIES, girlfriend!!🤤💞 send this to 🔟‼️ other BITCH BOYS 😫 or your BOY HOLE 🕳️ won’t be made FULL😢💔 IF YOU GET 5️⃣ BACK 💦 you have 5️⃣ BOYFRIENDS 😳 if you get 🔟 BACK 😮‍💨 you have 🔟 BOYFRIENDS 😏 if you get 1️⃣5️⃣ BACK ❤️‍🔥 you will NEVER 🙅🏼 be single 🧍AGAIN 👰👰🏻‍♂️🤵🏽🤵🏿‍♂️👰🏼‍♂️🤵🏻🤵‍♂️💒