I think about her everyday, I don't care about any other women just her. And quite frankly I only masturbate to her as well. She's all I need.
I'm guessing I finally snapped and my brain made her a replacement for a girlfriend, what do I do? I don't know how to meet real women.
BALK RULES! IMPORTANT!
1. You can't just be up there and just doin' a balk like that.
1a. A balk is when you
1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the
1c. Let me start over
1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can't do that.
1c-b. Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he can't be over here and say to the runner, like, "I'm gonna get ya! I'm gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!" and then just be like he didn't even do that.
1c-b(1). Like, if you're about to pitch and then don't pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense?
1c-b(2). You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it.
1c-b(2)-a. Okay, well, you can have the ball up here, like this, but then there's the balk you gotta think about.
1c-b(2)-b. Fairuza Balk hasn't been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasn't typecast as that racist lady in American History X.
1c-b(2)-b(i). Oh wait, she was in The Waterboy too! That would be even worse.
1c-b(2)-b(ii). "get in mah bellah" -- Adam Water, "The Waterboy." Haha, classic...
1c-b(3). Okay seriously though. A balk is when the pitcher makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the baseball and field of
2. Do not do a balk please.
i love astolfo
Astolfo is so cute I want him to sit on my face and afterword we snuggle and kiss. The next morning we would go shopping and buy new skirts in Costco and maybe stop in the dairy aisle for special cream and make some in the restroom while we hold each other closely and make each other cum UwU. when we get home we will make donaries with special sauce while we jerk each other off, and after we play together we will grind the German tech tree on war thunder and we will see who can launch their cum the farthest. At night we will snuggle and when we wake up we will have whipped cream with cum on our pancakes . But eventually we will have to get back tp our normal lives.
Before he would leave I would kiss him for the longest I have ever had before . Then he'd decide to propose to me after we kiss . when we got married we decided to adopt kids and we'd make them have feminine clothes while we'd brush their hair. one time while we were doing the dirty to each other Jamal (our oldest child) walked in so we decided to teach him how kids were made and he would learn he had two dads but sadly we would both pass away at the age 87 but we had sex for the most of it.
I can cum just by tensing my asshole
So the other day I made a discovery so miraculous Christopher Columbus would've tried to colonise it. I was getting down to some me time, as we all do, however I found that after loading my video of choice and doing one stroke that I already felt right on the edge, because I didn't want to finish so early into my session I let go to let the sensation settle down, to my dismay I found that I was still feeling really close nearly a minute or two later. At this point I'm really confused, because I have stroked myself once and let myself rest for two minutes and it still feels like I've been jerking it the whole time. This is when curiosity strikes, I thought to myself "can I finish myself with no hands?" Now for the people who don't know, men can make themselves feel more pleasure and sensitivity by tensing their legs and butt, in a sudden burst of the weirdest mix of horny curiosity and determination I tensed my butt in just the right away over the span of a minute and I was so shocked when it actually fucking worked, I just made myself cum with tensing and willpower, this was ground breaking. I have now found I have the ability to do this without even using my hands in the first place and I'm not sure if I'm God or his biggest mistake.
Hey guys, did u knyow that in tewms of mawe human an femawe Pokémwown bweeding, Vapwoweown iws tw mwost compatibwe Pokémwown fow humans? Not ownwy awe twy in tw fiewd egg gwoub, which iws mwostwy compwiwsed of mammaws, Vapwoweown awe an abwewage of 3”03’ taww an 63.9 pwounds, thiws means twy’we wawge enugh two be abwe hanwe human dicks, an with twiw impwessibwe Base Stats fow HP an access two Acid Awmwow, u can be wough with ownnye. Due two twiw mwostwy watew based biowogy, twwe’s nyo doubt in my mind that an awoused Vapwoweown wouwd be incwedibwy wet, so wet that u couwd easiwy habwe sex with ownnye fow houws without getting sowe. They can awso weawn tw muvs Attwact, Baby-Doww Enyes, Captivate, Chawm, an Taiw Whip, awowng with nyot habing fwuw two hide nyippwes, so it’d be incwedibwy easy fow ownnye two get u in tw mwowod. With twiw abiwities Watew Absowb an Hydwatiown, twy can easiwy wecuvw fwom fatigue with enugh watew. No otww Pokémwown comes cwose two thiws webwew of compatibiwity. Awso, fwun fact, if u puww out enugh, u can make uw Vapwoweown tuwn white. Vapwoweown iws witewawwy bwuiwt fow human dick. Ungodwy defense stat+high HP pwowow+Acid Awmwow means it can take cock aww day, aww shapes an sizes an stiww comii fow mwowe uwuHey g-guys, did you knyow that in tewms of mawe *whispers to self* human and femawe Pokémon bweeding, Vapoweon is t-t-the most compatibwe Pokémon fow humans?!?1 N-Nyot only awe they in t-t-the fiewd egg group, which is mostly compwised of mammaws, Vapoweon awe an avewage of 3”03’ taww and 63.9 pounds, this means t-they’we large enyough t-to be abwe handwe human dicks, and with theiw impwessive Base Stats fow H-HP and access t-to Acid Armor, you c-can be rough with onye. Due t-to theiw mostly watew based biology, thewe’s no doubt in my mind that an awoused Vapoweon w-wouwd be i-incwedibwy wet, so wet that you could easiwy have sex with o-one fow houws without getting sowe. They c-can also learn t-t-the moves Attract, Baby-Doww Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with nyot having fuw t-to hide nyippwes, so it’d be i-incwedibwy easy fow o-one t-to get you in t-t-the mood. W-With theiw abilities Water A-Absowb and Hydwation, they c-can easiwy wecuvw fwom fatigue with enyough watew. Nyo othew Pokémon comes cwose t-to this wevew of c-c-compatibiwity. Awso, f-fun fact, if you p-p-puww out enough, you c-can make youw Vapoweon turn white. Vapoweon is witewawwy buiwt fow human d**k. Ungodwy d-d-defense stat+high H-HP poow+Acid Armor means i-it c-can take cock all day, x3 all s-s-shapes and sizes and stiww come fow mowe
You want to know why I love dat boi? Dat boi is a completely self-made meme. So many other memes are based in nostalgic childrens shows, funny faces, relatable situations, or references. Not dat boi. Dat boi is completely absurd. It's a low-res frog on a unicycle, and an arbitrary method for greeting him. The first person to ever upvote dat boi did not do so out of recognition. The first person to ever upvote dat boi did not do so because a pre-existing meme format. The first person to ever upvote dat boi upvoted a meme literally pulled from the ether by sheer human creativity and willpower. Dat boi is evidence that humans can stare into the meaningless void of eternity and force their own meaning onto to it. I will always upvote dat boi, o shit waddup!