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Vaporeon (Good Ending)

    Vaporeon good ending copypasta
    Based on the original cursed Vaporeon pasta
    Hey guys, did you know that in terms of Water-Type Pokemon and teambuilding versatility, Vaporeon is my favorite Pokemon? Not only is it in the Field egg group which allows for an amazing egg movepool, Vaporeon has a Base HP of 130 and Base Special Defense of 95, which means they’re bulky enough to be able to handle special sweepers and with their impressive Base Stat for HP and a comparatively solid Base Defense, this means they can tank rough attacks. 
    
    Due to their singular Water typing, there’s no doubt in my mind that a minmaxed Vaporeon would be incredibly bulky. So bulky that you could easily switch on prediction for turns without getting swept. They can also learn the moves Wish, Substitute, Heal Bell, Toxic, and Scald, along with having Haze to prevent setup, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to tank for your team. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover damage with enough strategy. No other Pokemon comes close to this level of versatility. 
    
    Also, fun fact, Vaporeon has the highest HP Stat of all Eeveelutions. Vaporeon is literally built to tank on switch. Rock-solid Defense stats + high HP Pool + Acid Armor means it can take attacks all day, all shapes and sizes, and still come for more.
    Hey guys, did you know that Vaporeon is a Water-type Pokemon introduced in Generation 1? Vaporeon is number 134 in the National Dex, and a member of the Field egg group. It evolves from Eevee when exposed to a Water Stone. Vaporeon has a base stat total of 525, as do all Eeveelutions, and it has the ability Water Absorb. Vaporeon learns various strong moves, such as Aurora Beam, Surf, and Acid Armor. Vaporeon is a blue Pokemon with a quadruped build, weighing in at 64 pounds and standing 1 meter tall. Vaporeon's design is inspired by dogs, foxes, mermaids, dolphins, and fish. Vaporeon is able to hide in water due to its chemical makeup being similar to water, according to various Pokedex entries. Vaporeon is the only Eeveelution in Generation 1 that is not weak to Ground-type attacks. Many Trainers like Vaporeon for its design, which mixes cool and cute, as well as its good stats and movepool.

    Vaporeon is objectively the best hugger

    Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human and pokemon companionship, vaporeon is objectively the best hugger? Due to their average height of 3'03", they are small enough to bring everywhere but large enough to give a good hug. Also, considering that they are in the field egg group, they are mammals, meaning that they produce heat, making for a warm hug. Aswell they have a water like body structure leading to them conforming to your body shape, giving a stronger hug. Finally, they have incredible base stats and the option to learn moves like acid armor, meaning you can squeeze them to your hearts content. Vaporeon was built to give hugs. :)

    Hey Squidward, shut the fuck up.

      Hey Squidward, shut the fuck up. I don't know what your problem is, man. I have 30 minutes for lunch, and I'm spending them here, alright? There's no one behind me in line, so what if I took an extra ten seconds to order? Who cares, man? You really are something else, you know that? You lash out at people, and why? Because you hate your job? News flash, asshole, everyone hates their job. I work at the grocery store, I have to deal with bullshit all the time too. But I don't act like a sarcastic prick with customers. You know Squidward, this town does not like you, and it's not because you're some misunderstood artist, or genius, or we just don't 'get you', it's because you're mean, alright? Look at Spongebob, he works in front of a hot grill all day, but we like him, and you know why? Because he's nice. He says hello to us. Look man I don't want to be this type of customer you know, I don't like to start fights with folks, but like, you can't do that, alright? And I'm not gonna call out Mr Krabs or anything, I just want to get my food and go. Please learn from this. Alright?... Thank you...

      Arabian Psycho

        I live on the Muharraq Gardens building on Budaiya highway. My name is Batriq Iban Ba-Atman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in adhering to the core pillars of Islam. In the morning, before suhur, I do the Fajr prayer whilst prostrating myself in the air. I can do a thousand now. In the shower, I perform ghusl to be clean for the next prayer. This is because I've broken my fast with masturbation. During wudu, I apply a 300SPF sun lotion, to protect from the dessert sun. Afterwards, I always use a South Asian oud with little or no alcohol. Because alcohol is haram. There is an idea of Batriq Iban Ba-Atman, some kinda of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity.

        NO FLOW 🍃😎 POR ONDE A GENTE PASSA 🚶

          NO FLOW 🍃😎 POR ONDE A GENTE PASSA 🚶🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️É SHOW 🎉🎊🎇🥳 FECHOU 🔑🔑🔐E OLHA 👀👁️ ONDE A GENTE CHEGOU 💚🇧🇷 EU SOU 🗣️🗣️🗣️ PAÍS DO FUTEBOL ⚽🇧🇷🏟️🏟️ NEGÔ 👦🏿🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷 ATÉ GRINGO SAMBOU 💃💃💃💃💃 TOCOU NEYMAR 🏃🏃🏃🏃 É GOL 🥅🥅⚽⚽⚽⚽⚽🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷

          Open Song Lyrics

          No flow
          Desse jeito, haha, salve Brasil, pode crê
          MC Guime, tâmo junto, Emicida
          Eu sou. Vai segurando muleque, eae Neymar
          Até grigo sambô... É nós, e ó como que eu vou
          
          No flow
          Por onde a gente passa é show, fechou
          E olha onde a gente chegou
          Eu sou, país do futebol, negô
          Até gringo sambou
          Tocou Neymar é gol, eae
          
          Ó minha pátria amada, idolatrada
          Um salve à nossa nação
          E através dessa canção
          Hoje posso fazer minha declaração
          
          Entre house de boy, beco e vielas
          Jogando bola dentro da favela
          Pro menor não tem coisa melhor
          E a menina que sonha em ser uma atriz de novela
          
          A rua é nossa e eu sempre fui dela
          Desde descalço, gastando canela
          Hoje no asfalto de toda São Paulo
          De nave do ano, tô na passarela
          
          Na chuva, no frio, no calor
          No samba, no rap e tambor
          Ergo as mãos pro céu igual ao meu redentor
          Agradeço ao nosso Senhor
          
          No flow
          Por onde a gente passa é show, fechou
          E olha onde a gente chegou
          Eu sou, país do futebol, negô
          Até gringo sambou
          Tocou Neymar é gol
          
          No flow
          Por onde a gente passa é show, fechou
          E olha onde a gente chegou
          Eu sou, país do futebol, negô
          Até gringo sambou
          Tocou Neymar é gol
          
          Poeira no boot, é cinza, Kichute
          Campão, barro na canela
          Maloqueiro, fut, talento
          É arte de chão, ouro de favela
          Imaginei, pique Boy do Charmes
          
          Voltei, estilo Charles Dow
          Pra fazer a quebrada cantar
          Memo, é tipo MC Lon
          Eu vim pelas taça, pois, raça
          Foi quase em dois palito
          Ontem foi choro, hoje tesouro
          E o coro grita: tá bonito
          
          Eu sou Zona Norte, fundão
          Swing de vagabundo
          Dos que venceu a desnutrição
          E hoje vai dominar o mundo
          
          No flow
          Por onde a gente passa é show, fechou
          E olha onde a gente chegou
          Eu sou, país do futebol, negô
          Até gringo sambou
          Tocou Neymar é gol
          
          No flow
          Por onde a gente passa é show, fechou
          E olha onde a gente chegou
          Eu sou, país do futebol, negô
          Até gringo sambou
          Tocou Neymar é gol, isso memo

          Happy😜THICCSGIVING🍑

            Happy😜THICCSGIVING🍑🍑 turkey🍗💦ass 💦bitch🐕!! Get 🙉ready😤to🎉🎊celebrate🎊🎉the hoe-liday👅🍆of being 🙏THANKFUL 🙏for DICK🙈🍆🍆💦💦 and remembering💭the pilgrims 😜🍑when they👀🌊⛵landed on🍆🍆PLYMOUTH COCK🍆🍆and🙊started🔥👅sucking that💁native American🇺🇸🌽CORNCOB🌽and 😩 STUFFED 👀💦😩 turkey 🦃🍗ass🍑HOES🍆like you. Send💬📝this👉to💥30!💥of 🍆💦your SLUTTIEST🦃girls👀🍑..get 😂5😂 back💁and you're😆👀 a turkey 🦃thot🙊🙊get 🍆15🍆 back🍗🍑💦and youre🙆 a true✔️💦THICCSGIVING🍑🦃🍗 hoe. Get 🌽💥30💥🌽 back🙊and you'll👀 need some💦tryctophan💦🦃 bc you're😴gonna be 😴🍆🍑sleeping👉👌 with every guy👨‍🦱at 🍆🍗🦃Thiccsgiving🦃🍗🍆, 🔥🔥😩bitch💁💥💦- Now go 🍑get that little🙈👀💦 pumpkin🥧🥧 ass🍑 ready😩 to💦😂 be 🦃🍆creampied!🦃🦃

            Potion Seller

              "Hello, Potion Seller, I am going into battle and I want your strongest potions."
              
              "My potions are too strong for you, traveler."
              
              "Potion Seller, I tell you I am going into battle, and I want only your strongest potions."
              
              "You can't handle my potions. They're too strong for you."
              
              "Potion Seller, listen to me; I want only your strongest potions."
              
              "My potions would kill you, traveler. You cannot handle my potions."
              
              "Potion Seller, enough of these games. I'm going into battle and I need your strongest potions."
              
              "My strongest potions would kill you, traveler. You can't handle my strongest potions. You'd better go to a seller that sells weaker potions."
              
              "Potion Seller, I'm telling you right now; I'm going into battle and I need only your strongest potions."
              
              "You don't know what you ask, traveler. My strongest potions will kill a dragon let alone a man. You need a seller that sells weaker potions, because my potions are too strong."
              
              "Potion Seller, I'm telling you I need your strongest potions. I'm going into battle! I'm going to battle and I need your strongest potions!"
              
              "You can't handle my strongest potions! No one can! My strongest potions are fit for a beast let alone a man."
              
              "Potion Seller, what do I have to tell you to get your potions? Why won't you trust me with your strongest potions, Potion Seller? I need them if I'm to be successful in the battle!"
              
              "I can't give you my strongest potions because my strongest potions are only for the strongest beings and you are of the weakest."
              
              "Well then that's it, Potion Seller. I'll go elsewhere. I'll go elsewhere for my potions."
              
              "That's what you'd better do."
              
              "I'll go elsewhere for my potions and I'll never come back!"
              
              "Good. You're not welcome here! My potions are only for the strongest and you're clearly are not of the strongest you're clearly the weakest."
              
              "You've had your say, Potion Seller but I'll have mine. You're a rascal, you're a rascal with no respect for knights. No respect for anything...except your potions!"
              
              "Why respect knights...when my potions can do anything that you can..."