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Overwatch’s True Purpose

    Overwatch 2 True Purpose copypasta
    I jerk off to Overwatch characters based on their play style. I think this is what Blizzard envisioned.

I never actually managed to play the game though, because just the Overwatch logo is enough for me and my dick to go Bastion-mode (this is all I know about the Gorilla character).

Mercy is my favorite because she's angelic and white. Fuck, I wish Overwatch was real. Pornographic Pixar breeding every day. If Mercy was real, she can heal my dick skin, at least what's left of it.

Mercy can gift me healing abilities too. I could go to a graveyard and resurrect all the hot babes from a non-political era. I'll tell them if they don't have sex with me I will make them dead again.

    Hotline Miami- Do You Like Hurting Other People?

      
Do you like hurting other people?
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      AITA for listening to Snoop dogg’s “Smoke weed everyday” in church?

        So i was in church when the pastor said something and the word "snoop". That reminded me of popular rapper and celebrity Snoop dogg and his hit song "Smoke weed everyday", featuring Dr. Dre. I immediately pulled out my phone and plugged my wireless earbuds in my ears. But there wasn't any sound, so i cranked up the volume, but I still couldn't hear anything. I had no choice but to use maximum volume. Suddenly, i heard a loud "smoke weed everyday" from Snoop dogg. Everyone stood up and clapped, even the pastor. Then everyone began to smoke weed, but it turned out everyone was allergic to weed. They all breakdanced on the floor for hours. EDIT: Apparently now I'm a "cult leader" according to the court. So reddit, AITA?

        Jojopyun

          Jojopyun copypasta
          Who is Jojopyun?

For the blind, Jojo is the light.

For the hungry, Jojo is the bread.

For the thirsty, Jojo is the fountain.

For the sick, Jojo is the cure.

For the prisoner, Jojo is freedom.

For the liar, Jojo is the truth.

For the traveler, Jojo is the way.

NAmen

          EU = Eastern USA

            Europe was founded in 1848 by Walker Texas Ranger when he rode a horse across the Atlantic, he called it "Eastern USA" which was eventually abbreviated EU
            China was founded in 1848 by Walker Texas Ranger when he rode his horse across the Pacific. He named it "Chinese NA" which was eventually just abbreviated to ChiNA"

            EG rises to celebrate a clean 3-0

              EG 3-0 MAD Lions copypasta
              As the third game ends and EG rises to celebrate a clean 3-0 Nisqy tears his jersey off to reveal a C9 shirt and starts chanting "USA USA USA" while frothing BBQ sauce from his mouth. Loud gunshots echo into the air in the arena and overhead a lone bald eagle screeches while dropping a green card on Nisqy's outstretched hands and shedding a single proud tear.
              Jojopyun: “Nisqy trick y’all, man, like he playing mid well. He don’t help nobody, man. He just running around, no lane prio, doing nothing.” Made sure to note that Nisqy went 4/13 in a 3-0 today.
              Then, I played vs him. "jojopyun". It was just another day of Play-ins, but not for me. This was the first time someone had truely decimated me in midlane, far worse than any LCK or LPL player on the Korean ladder. My jungler and Support must be at fault I thought. He's playing so aggressive, and where is my jungle and support? But it didn't matter how many times they came mid, he would outplay nearly every time and even when he didn't he would still win the lane. I was amazed and inspired that someone could play so well, what is he doing different? Is it because he's 16 years old and I have health problems? No, it wasn't. I started studying the VOD's extensively, clearly I didn't learn everything there is to know about the game if this kid is beating me. Then I saw it, we enter lane and I see him spamming dance as Sett.
              Overheard in MAD locker room after Game 2:

“He got me,” Nisqy said of Jojopyun’s Sett laning versus him. "That f*ing rookie boomed me."

Nisqy added, “He’s so good,” repeating it four times.

Nisqy then said he wanted to add Jojo to the list of players he 1v1’s with this summer.
              Jojopyun when asked about the difference in preparing for LOUD vs preparing for MAD:

"Do guys in the play-ins go to sleep early the night before playing Nisqy and MAD? Hell no. ... I'm going to the grubhub app ... have me a nice little bud light... Tinowns? I'm going to bed at 8 o'clock. ... Mom, don't call me. My girl, don't call me."