Skip to content

Doritos Dew it right ERROR! Please drink a verification can

    AKA ‘Doritos Dew it right!’ or ‘Drink verification can’ story started as a 4chan post in 2013 describing a dystopian future for gaming ruled by corporations and ads. The satirical story describes how a person had to drink multiple cans of Mountain Dew in front of his Xbox just to play a video game.

    The copypasta has since become more popular due to the prevalence of ads in internet space and smart devices.

    >2018
>wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games
>excited to play some halo 2k19
>"xbox on"
>...
>"XBOX ON"
>"Please verify that you are "annon332" by saying "Doritos™ Dew™ it right!"
>"Doritos™ Dew™ it right"
>"ERROR! Please drink a verification can"
>reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest
>only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night
>still feeling sick from the 14
>force it down and grumble out "mmmm that really hit the spot"
>xbox does nothing
>i attempt to smile
>"Connecting to verification server"
>...
>"Verification complete!"
>finally
>boot up halo 2k19
>finding multiplayer match...
>"ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!"
>my mother just walked in the room
>"Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?"
>"NO!"
>"Console entering lock state!"
>"to unlock drink verification can"
>last can
>"WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card"
>drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick
>pour the last half out the window
>"PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE"
>the mountain dew ad plays
>i have to dance for it
>feeling so sick
>makes me sing along
>dancing and singing
>"mountain dew is for me and you"
>throw up on myself
>throw up on my tv and entertainment system
>router shorts
>"ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF"
>"PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE" 
    -2018

-wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games

-excited to play some halo 2k19

-"xbox on"

-...

-"XBOX ON"

-"Please verify that you are "annon332" by saying "Doritos™ Dew™ it right!"

-"Doritos™ Dew™ it right"

-"ERROR! Please drink a verification can"

-reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest

-only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night

-still feeling sick from the 14

-force it down and grumble out "mmmm that really hit the spot"

-xbox does nothing

-i attempt to smile

-"Connecting to verification server"

-...

-"Verification complete!"

-finally

-boot up halo 2k19

-finding multiplayer match...

-"ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!"

-my mother just walked in the room

-"Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?"

-"NO!"

-"Console entering lock state!"

-"to unlock drink verification can"

-last can

-"WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card"

-drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick

-pour the last half out the window

-"PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE"

-the mountain dew ad plays

-i have to dance for it -feeling so sick

-makes me sing along

-dancing and singing

-"mountain dew is for me and you"

-throw up on my self

-throw up on my tv and entertainment system

-router shorts

-"ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF"

-"PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE"

    You have to have a very high IQ to understand Schmitt’s Creek

      To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Schmitt's Creek. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also David's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Schitt's Creek truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in David's existential catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Levy's genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Schitt's Creek tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

      I once drank a whole gallon of milk in a whole day and I could feel my bones expand

        I once drank a whole gallon of milk in a whole day and I could feel my bones expand. At first I thought I was just full from the milk, but my skin started to form stretch marks and I was visibly wider. I didn't know what was happening but I had an uncontrollable urge to drink more milk. I drove into the nearest gas station and literally ripped the door off the rifrigerated section containing the milk.

I started chugging gallon after gallon of milk standing right there in the store, my skin ripping at the seams. The cashier ran over to stop me but I swatted him aside and in one clean blow he landed across the room, shattering every bone in his pathetic meat suit. There was nothing left of him but a wet bloody puddle deprived of structure. I never thought I had it in me to kill but by now I had ascended beyond petty morality.

As I finished my eighth gallon it felt as though my stomach would rupture. My ribs broke out of my chest like a baby xxenomorph. My finger bones had grown through my hands a white nub could be seen protruding from my nose. My face was so stretched over my now massive skull I looked like Jenny McCarthy. My biceps and muscles were hard and calcified. My boner now had a bone.

I finished my twelfth gallon and began screaming and flexing, my skin tearing around my robust skeletal frame. With one final push I shed my meat chrysalis. I was free.

I didn't even use the door I simply walked out the wall of the gas station. Mortar and stone yielded to my mighty calcium. The cops were already there. In terror they began firing at me but even lead is no match for calcium. I walked straight toward one, reached down his throat and pulled his skeleton from his flesh sheath. With his bone I assembled a mighty claymore sword. With a single swing I cleaved the Earth in twain and descended into the inky black. Here I wait until the time I'm called into service for the great skellington war.

        PSA: PUT YOUR MICROPHONE ON PUSH TO TALK

          Nobody wants to hear you coughing your phlegm-filled lungs out and eating the world's crunchiest chips in front of a jet engine turbine while your spouse yells at you in the background and a tiny angry dog yips at a baby that's crying its head off because your mechanical keyboard sounds like gunshots that the sirens outside are responding to.

The game defaults to open mic and many people will skip that first screen to get into the game. If people have to mute you, whatever you might have to say will be completely lost. So please, unless you have an accessibility reason for using open mic, use push to talk. I promise, it won't kill you. Then everyone, including you, can enjoy voice chat and leave it on and not have to mute anyone :)

          Ice Spice – Think U The Shit

            Music video
            Think 🤔💭 You 🫵 The Shit? 💩 BITCH 🤷🏻‍♀️🐕🐶 YOU NOT EVEN THE FART! 💨 I be going hard 🍆 im breaking they hearts like 💔 bitches 🐶🐕🤷🏻‍♀️ be quick🤔 🏃🏻‍♀️🏎️⏰but im quicker💵‼️🙄😏🏎️🏎️♿️💯🔥💦 bitches 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️🐕 be thick 🍒🍑🤨 BUT IM THICKER !‼️🍑😼👅 she could 👆 be rich 🤑 💵💰 but IM RICHER 💎💸🪙💰💷💶💴💵⚔️🔫🔑🏡🏝️🚗🚕🚙🏍️ Damn. taking her man! 🧍‍♂️ 👱🏽‍♂️💋 dont give a fuck 🤪 out in the yams 🍠 And 🧐 im keeping one ☝️ 1️⃣ tucked 🔫 I MAKE ME SOME JAMS!! 🎶🎵 Unlock 🔓 that advance 🔑 I 👩🏼‍🦰 said 💬 four 4️⃣ hundred 💰 bands 💸💸💸💸 Just to do my lil 🐀 dance 💃 🕺 🍑
            WE MAKING IT OUT THE PORTAPOTTY WITH THIS ONE!! 🗣🔥‼
            WE MAKING IT OUT THE BATHROOM WITH THIS ONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥
            WE MAKING IT ONTO THE SHITTER WIT THIS ONE🔥🔥
            WE MAKING IT OUT THE BUTT WITH THIS ONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥
            WE MAKING IT OUT THE DELI WITH THIS ONE!! 🗣️🔥
            WE MAKING IT TO THE BATHROOM WITH THIS ONE 💩💨🗣️
            WE MAKING IT OUT THE LAVATORY WITH THIS ONE 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️💯💯💯

            I just had sex with an Android user! What do I do now?

              I met this cool guy at a bar. He seemed really into me and we hit it off right away. We exchanged numbers and he invited me back to his place. I thought, why not? We got there and he was already in bed, his phone charging next to him. I climbed in, feeling a bit weird about the whole thing, but he was so insistent. We had sex, it was amazing, and then I passed out.

When I woke up, I saw his phone on the nightstand and decided to take a look, but there's no apple logo there! That's when I realized he was an Android user. I felt a wave of regret wash over me. I don't know why, but I just can't be with someone who uses Android. It's not that I hate them or anything, it's just that I've always been more of an iPhone girl.

Now, I'm trying to decide what to do. Do I just pretend like nothing happened and leave? Do I confront him about it? Or do I try to make things work despite our differences? I mean, we had amazing sex, and he seemed really into me. Maybe I could change his mind about Android?