Skip to content

I really don’t get hookup culture.

    I really don't get hookup culture. Like there is no way that sex is that much better than just jerking off. Expecially if you don't even like the person you are doing it with. There is so much more effort to it too. First you gotta swipe on the dumb app for however long that takes and then you gotta chat up the girl enough so that she doesn't think you will murder her then you have to take your car and drive to her place only too fuck for maybe 30 min. Like why? Does anyone actually enjoy this shit? I mean I am a turbo virgin so I wouldn't know but it just seems so shit to me. Is hookup culture just for people with no hobbies or what?


    I’d be crying if I looked like that too bruh

      I’d be crying if I looked like that too bruh that’s fucked up what they be doing to y’all I ain’t even gone hold you bro I be saying that’s fucked up like bro you probably had the full wash and set ya shit be fire prolly if they ain’t cut your shit fuck it tho bro it’s your life
      I'd🧍🏼be🦵crying😭if👀I look🦧like😎that🏃‍♂️to☝️bruh👹that's🙊fucked😤up🐜what👁they🤑be🏊‍♀️doing🤳to😂y'all😶‍🌫️I🍒ain't🦄even🍆gon'🥱hold🏴‍☠️you⚠️bro🤗I🗣be🙃saying🤡that's🫂fucked🤾up🤨like🍑bro💅you🦾prolly⬆️had❗️the🥼full🏏washing🙊set🛴it🦍should😅be🤔fiya🔥if🌞they❌️ain't🥶cut💇‍♂️yo 🪡shit🕹prolly💩if😈they☻️ain't👐cut👅yo👣shit😊but🤥fuck🤣it🚩bro✨️it's🎃ya🦙life🌏
      I’d be cryin if I lookd li that too bru, thas fcked up wht they be doin to yall, I ain’t even gon hold u bru, I be sayin it’s fcked up like bro, u prolly had the full wash in set yours should be fire the way they cut ur shi, fug it tho bro it’s your life.
      i be crying if i look like that too
      bruh thats fucked up what they be doin' to y'all
      i ain't even gon' hold you bro
      i be sayin thats fucked up like bruh
      you probably had the full wash and set
      your shit be fire probably if they aint cut yo shit
      fuck it though bro its your life

      Club penguin is kil but smart

        I apologise for my incomplete understanding of the syntax and grammatical rules, and spelling of words, of the English language, as I speak a language that is, in fact, not English, which is most likely evidenced to you, the reader, who is most likely a homo sapiens sapiens, as am I, by the fact that the English I wrote this sentence to you in was syntactically and grammatically incorrect and contained spelling errors, and probably assumed to be Russian as the structure of my sentence corresponds to the stereotypical faux bad Russian attempt at English known to those of our species who speak English.
        
        What was your immediate and precise location when Club Penguin, an internet game designed for children but frequently played by teenagers, young adults and adults of our species for the purpose of taking images of the game in which the penguins these individuals of our species controlled were shown saying things that juxtaposed the context of the game, such as using expletives and/or (but not limited to) making sexist, homophobic and/or racist statements (whether or not those statements actually corresponded to the views of the individuals producing the images, or even those viewing them) sometimes with text overlaid, for the purpose of humour, also known as a meme, was discontinued?
        
        I, personally, was at my place of residence, assumedly a house built with materials such as, and in no particular order, brick, mortar, plaster, copper, iron, glass, wood, plastic and concrete, consuming a processed corn based, savoury snack with a dry, crispy texture and coated with cheese-like flavouring as a fine powder, known as the 'Dorito', when my telecommunications device, in this case either a landline telephone, a hardwired device connected to an external network (usually running underground) for the propose of transferring my voice with minimal latency to places a distance from my home that would otherwise be too far for the recipient to hear, or a mobile telephone, which works on a similar principle to the home phone however uses electromagnetic waves anywhere from 600 to 6000 MHz, depending on one's country of residence and telecommunications service provider, to transmit one's voice, produced a sound, as it is designed to do, to alert me to the fact that there was a person using their own telecommunications device in an effort to contact me.
        
        The individual, whose voice was transmitted to me through the telecommunications device the individual reading this text imagines the aforementioned individual to be speaking to me through (most likely determined by the reader's age, as there has been a close to linear decline in households with landline telephones since approximately 2003), spoke, assumedly in the same language that I was speaking, and said to me, "Club penguin is kil", which the reader is likely to assume was in my native language as it also contains poor grammar, syntax and spelling. This sentence informed me that the internet game known as Club Penguin had been discontinued.
        
        This shocked me, as I enjoyed viewing the memes individuals of my species produced using the game known as Club Penguin. This is evidenced by my inability to say more than a single word in response to the news of the game's demise. Unable to fully articulate the intensity of my feelings or thoughts regarding the shocking news that was just communicated to me through the telecommunications device I was holding, I said a single word that reflected these inner processes and captured the essence of my disbelief that something so important to me had ended: "no".

        “Whats a women?” explained by a gamer.

          You ever play Portal and look at yourself through 2 portals? That's what a woman is. Sometimes they want to become your "partner" (like duo queuing in Fortnite). Often they want to live with you, kind of like bitch wife.
          
          Sometimes they will want to have sex too. That's like a quick time where you have to keep button spamming till you cross the win threshold and then you get a cutscene like in the GTA strip clubs.
          
          The downside is the shit ton of money you'll spend on cosmetics and loot boxes for her, like microtransactions.
          
          Also, sometimes they'll start queing with another guy or will uninstall the game.

          Vaporeon (Good Ending)

            Vaporeon good ending copypasta
            Based on the original cursed Vaporeon pasta
            Hey guys, did you know that in terms of Water-Type Pokemon and teambuilding versatility, Vaporeon is my favorite Pokemon? Not only is it in the Field egg group which allows for an amazing egg movepool, Vaporeon has a Base HP of 130 and Base Special Defense of 95, which means they’re bulky enough to be able to handle special sweepers and with their impressive Base Stat for HP and a comparatively solid Base Defense, this means they can tank rough attacks. 
            
            Due to their singular Water typing, there’s no doubt in my mind that a minmaxed Vaporeon would be incredibly bulky. So bulky that you could easily switch on prediction for turns without getting swept. They can also learn the moves Wish, Substitute, Heal Bell, Toxic, and Scald, along with having Haze to prevent setup, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to tank for your team. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover damage with enough strategy. No other Pokemon comes close to this level of versatility. 
            
            Also, fun fact, Vaporeon has the highest HP Stat of all Eeveelutions. Vaporeon is literally built to tank on switch. Rock-solid Defense stats + high HP Pool + Acid Armor means it can take attacks all day, all shapes and sizes, and still come for more.
            Hey guys, did you know that Vaporeon is a Water-type Pokemon introduced in Generation 1? Vaporeon is number 134 in the National Dex, and a member of the Field egg group. It evolves from Eevee when exposed to a Water Stone. Vaporeon has a base stat total of 525, as do all Eeveelutions, and it has the ability Water Absorb. Vaporeon learns various strong moves, such as Aurora Beam, Surf, and Acid Armor. Vaporeon is a blue Pokemon with a quadruped build, weighing in at 64 pounds and standing 1 meter tall. Vaporeon's design is inspired by dogs, foxes, mermaids, dolphins, and fish. Vaporeon is able to hide in water due to its chemical makeup being similar to water, according to various Pokedex entries. Vaporeon is the only Eeveelution in Generation 1 that is not weak to Ground-type attacks. Many Trainers like Vaporeon for its design, which mixes cool and cute, as well as its good stats and movepool.

            Vaporeon is objectively the best hugger

            Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human and pokemon companionship, vaporeon is objectively the best hugger? Due to their average height of 3'03", they are small enough to bring everywhere but large enough to give a good hug. Also, considering that they are in the field egg group, they are mammals, meaning that they produce heat, making for a warm hug. Aswell they have a water like body structure leading to them conforming to your body shape, giving a stronger hug. Finally, they have incredible base stats and the option to learn moves like acid armor, meaning you can squeeze them to your hearts content. Vaporeon was built to give hugs. :)

            Hey Squidward, shut the fuck up.

              Hey Squidward, shut the fuck up. I don't know what your problem is, man. I have 30 minutes for lunch, and I'm spending them here, alright? There's no one behind me in line, so what if I took an extra ten seconds to order? Who cares, man? You really are something else, you know that? You lash out at people, and why? Because you hate your job? News flash, asshole, everyone hates their job. I work at the grocery store, I have to deal with bullshit all the time too. But I don't act like a sarcastic prick with customers. You know Squidward, this town does not like you, and it's not because you're some misunderstood artist, or genius, or we just don't 'get you', it's because you're mean, alright? Look at Spongebob, he works in front of a hot grill all day, but we like him, and you know why? Because he's nice. He says hello to us. Look man I don't want to be this type of customer you know, I don't like to start fights with folks, but like, you can't do that, alright? And I'm not gonna call out Mr Krabs or anything, I just want to get my food and go. Please learn from this. Alright?... Thank you...