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FELIZ NAVIDADDY 🍆👅💦🤶🏽

    👅💦👨🏻FELIZ NAVIDADDY 👨🏻👅💦🧑‍🎄⁉️ARE YOU READY TO GET YOUR JINGLE BALLS ROCKED ⁉️ 🎄today we celebrate jesus first CUMMING 😩 and encourage his second 💦 🧑‍🎄prepare to be FILLED 😩 with holiday cheer😉 you’ve heard of ELF ON THE SHELF 🧝🏼‍♂️ but get ready to REARRANGE HER 🤶🏽😵‍💫 UNDER THE MANGER 🐪🍃👅 santa’s got a BIG 😮 SWEET 🍭STICKY 💧🍯 CANDY CANE 🍬to put under your tree not only is santa claus coming to town 🏘️ but he’s also PENETRATING 👉🏼👌🏼the CHIMNEY 🕳️ 💨 and CUMMING ON ME ☃️ so don’t come a KNOCKIN 🤰🏻if the sleighs a ROCKIN 🛷😩 if you’ve got the cookie 🍪👅 santa’s got the MILK 🍼💦 and santa is HUNG 🍆‼️like the ornaments ‼️on your tree 🎄❓SO ASK YOURSELF ❓will you be TOPPING 😜👆🏼your tree this year or BOTTOMING? 😋 👇🏼 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your SLUTTIEST ELVES 🧝🏼‍♀️🧝🏼‍♂️👅 to receive a WHITE 🍼💦 christmas 😩🧑‍🎄 if you don’t get 1️⃣0️⃣ back get ready for santa’s 👅🪨ROCK HARD🪨👅 coal 😵‍💫

    Nah I’d Win

      
      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡳⣼⣆⠀⠀⢹⡄⠹⣷⣄⢠⠇⠻⣷⣶⢀⣸⣿⡾⡏⠀⠰⣿⣰⠏⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⣀⣀⣀⡹⣟⡪⢟⣷⠦⠬⣿⣦⣌⡙⠿⡆⠻⡌⠿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⡿⠟⠚⠉⠀⠉⠳⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⣼⣟⠛⠛⠙⠛⠉⠻⢶⣮⢿⣯⡙⢶⡌⠲⢤⡑⠀⠈⠛⠟⢿⣿⠛⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠯⣙⠛⢉⣉⣙⣿⣿⡳⢶⣦⣝⢿⣆⠉⠻⣄⠈⢆⢵⡈⠀⠀⢰⡆⠀⣼⠓⠀⠀⠀   Nah    ⠈⣷⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠖⠉⠻⣟⡿⣿⣭⢽⣽⣶⣈⢛⣾⣿⣧⠀⠙⠓⠀⠑⢦⡀⠹⣧⢂⠀⣿⡇⢀⣿⠺⠇⠀    I'd⠀     ⣿⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠈⠉⢛⣿⣿⣶⣤⣈⠉⣰⣗⡈⢛⣇⠀⣵⡀⠀⠘⣿⡄⢻⣤⠀⢻⡇⣼⣧⣿⡄⠀⠀   Win⠀    ⠀⡿⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⢍⡉⠛⠻⣷⡆⠨⣿⣭⣤⣍⠀⢹⣷⡀⠀⠹⣿⡄⠈⠀⢿⠁⣿⣿⠏            ⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀
      ⠀⣿⣇⣠⣾⣿⣛⣲⣿⠛⠀⠀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣟⣮⡻⣷⣤⡙⢟⡀⠀⠙⢧⠀⠀⠎⠀⠉⠁⠰⣿⠀⠀         ⠀⢀⡿⠀⠀
      ⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣴⡏⠚⢛⣈⣍⠛⠛⠿⢦⣌⢙⠻⡆⠁⠀⠀⠀⣴⣦⠀⠀⠀⠐⢳⢻⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠮⠀⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠈⠙⣿⣧⣶⣿⠿⣧⣴⣿⢻⡉⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⡟⠿⠃⠁⣠⣤⡶⣾⡟⠅⠀⣀⡄⠀⣾⢸⣿⣏⢻⢶⣦⣤⣤⣄⢶⣾⣿⣡⣤⡄⠀
      ⠀⠀⣠⣞⣋⣿⣿⣾⣿⡿⡛⣹⡟⣤⢰⡿⠟⠉⣀⣀⣤⣤⡠⠙⢁⣾⡿⠂⠀⣿⠟⣁⠀⣹⠀⣹⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣌⣿⣞⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀
      ⠀⢠⡿⢛⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣟⢓⠛⣿⣏⣿⣵⣗⣵⣴⣿⢟⡵⣣⣼⣿⢟⣵⣶⢻⣶⣿⠀⠀⣈⢻⣿⣿⣿⢿⣾⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀
      ⠀⠘⠃⢸⣿⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣟⣾⡿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⡆⣻⣿⡏⣿⢻⣧⣿⡿⣿⡆⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠜⣿⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣿⣖⣿⢿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⢯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡿⣾⣷⣿⣿⢿⣿⡇⠉⠁⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠞⠟⣸⣿⠏⣸⣧⣀⠿⢿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⡿⢶⣦⣄⣿⠏⠀⣿⣟⣿⣶⠾⣿⣟⣋⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣻⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠛⠫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣧⠛⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⠹⡟⠀⠀⠉⡟⠋⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠋⣾⣷⣿⣿⣧⠙⠀⠙⢣⠝⠛⠋⣽⣷⢦⠇⠀⠀⠘⠁⣤⣾⣿⠝⠛⠉⠘⢻⣿⣿⢿⣼⣷⡟⢻⣷⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀
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      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⢻⡿⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⢻⣆⠀⠛⠁⠶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠆⠘⠋⣠⡾⢫⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣿⣰⣦⡀⠸⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡟⠁⠀⠐⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡄⢺⣿⡄⠹⣿⠻⢦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣿⡟⢀⣀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
      ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣿⣿⡀⠹⡷⣦⣀⡀⡀⢸⣿⠏⢠⣾⣿⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
      ⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣷⣻⡟⠀⡼⠁⣴⣿⣿⣯⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀
      ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣯⣿⣤⣤⣤⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄
      ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
      

      Look kid, I fuck more attractive women than you have ever even seen…

        Look kid, I fuck more attractive women than you have ever even seen with your prepubescent, desperate virgin eyes. I once beat up an ex heavy weight boxer because he looked at me wrong. He begged me to stop. He begged me to just let him go, But I didn’t stop. You sit there in with your shitty computer, no job prospects past your nearest McDonald, and call me a beta male? You can’t even get the greese stains off of your shit between your fourth and fifth abdominal roll without the help of your mother, whom you have single handedly lead into an unimaginable misery by your mere pathetic existence. Take some of those bigs words and bring them outside into the real world. That way someone can beat you up before they send you crawling home to lick your wounds and make pissy internet videos bitching about people that you cannot even begin to understand from behind the drool covered binoculars you call glasses.

        Using an auto is like using porn. Manual is like sex.

          Using an auto is like using porn. Manual is like sex.
          
          Sex really benefits from developing a relationship, paying attention, practice and focus. Its work.
          
          You can have sex without these qualities but the sex suffers, and so does the experience of driving a manual.
          
          When you just need to get off and not pay attention - automatic transmission.
          
          You can still have fun - especially left foot braking without a clutch, but it's designed to be convenient.

          ‼️ATTENTION, CITIZEN‼️ ‼️警告Uh oh! You’ve made an oopsie, citizen!

            Origin

            This is part of the China/CCP copypasta specifically the ‘ATTENTION CITIZEN‘ type that often spread as a mockery of the Chinese social credit system.

            ‼️ATTENTION, CITIZEN‼️
            
            ‼️警告Uh oh! You've made an oopsie, citizen! 200 social credit points have been deducted from your ID card! Be sure to behave better or you know what happens!!!警告‼️
            
            ⚠️市民请注意‼️ This is the Central Intelligentsia of the Chinese Communist Party. () 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意。 因此,您的个人资料中的 15 ( -15 Social Credits) 个社会积分将打折。 DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN! 不要再这样做! If you not hesitate, more Social Credits ( - Social Credits )will be discounted from your profile, resulting in the lowering of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 CCP) You'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Zone. 如果您毫不犹豫,更多的社会信用将从您的个人资料中打折,从而导致口粮供应减少。 您还将被送到新疆维吾尔自治区的再教育营。 为党争光! Glory to the PRC!
            
            ‼️ -1000 Social Credits, Bad work peasant! You have disrespected our great leader Xi Jinping公轉急序土 and talked about the Tiannamen Square, off to you to the re-education camp! Remember to use the promo code "BEIJING" at your checkout to recieve a free food resource for your family a day. Good bye citizen and glory to the CCP!‼️
            
            Note: "glory to the CCP and Xi Jinping!" Don't forget to say this every morning for +5 daily social credit points! 祝你好运‼️