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I think I rizzed too hard 😭😭😭😭

    I think I rizzed too hard 😭😭😭😭

I slid into this femboys DMs by saying "Are you Mrs. Butterworth cuz you're hella sweet and you got that hourglass figure" and it went so well, and we had the common interest of playing guitar so I thought why not ask him "Do you wanna play guitar together? I could do the fingering then you could do the stroking." But now he's not responding 😭😭😭😭 He had told me he liked pistachio, so naturally I tried saving it by saying "Are you pistachio mochi? Cuz you look smooth, soft, and squishy, but sweet on the inside too," but he's still not responding 😭😭 Did I fumble? 😭 Did I rizz too hard? 😭

    To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Taylor Swift.

      Taylor Swift copypasta
      To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Taylor Swift. Her genius lyrics are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of tayoretical physics most of the meanings will go over a typical listener’s head. There’s also Swifts’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into her characterisation- her personal philosophy draws heavily from Swiftie folk literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these lyrics, to realize that they’re not just meaningful- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Taylor truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the understanding in Taylor’s existential song catchphrase “Me-he-hee hoo-hoo-hoo” which itself is a cryptic reference to Taygenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Becky’s genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools. How I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Taylor tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the straight white guys’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid
      The original variation of the “To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ” was for Rick and Morty

      Onision Meltdown

        Onision is an American Youtuber
        Original
        Wow. Wooooooow. Wow. So you guys are SO INTO YOURSELVES, like you are so committed, so CENSORING INNOCENT PEOPLE, that you're just gonna go, and try to get my patreon deleted now. Oh you have an opinion of me, so you're just gonna try and, RUIN MY ENTIRE CAREER. REALLY? Is that what you're going to do? Oh I'm sorry, the FBI never showed up Oh I'm sorry, the cops are all about onion boy because it turns out didn't break a single LAW. So what do we do? "Oh well our opinions have been invalidated so many times of him that we're gonna disable his patreon." Wooow, wow you would really do that - YOU WOULD REALLY DO THAT?! ... DRRRRGHHHH! YOU TRRRIIIEID TO DO THE FBI, DIDN'T WORK! YOU TRRRIIIIED TO DO THE POLICE! DIDN'T WORK! So instead, you resort to the paycheck. AND YOU GOT IT! YA GOT IT! All my patreons have been hrrng DELETED. Are you happy? NOW? Daugh! HRRRRRRRNNNGGG HRRRRNNHHGGGGH! Is this what you want, huh? You want a total - MELT DOWN?! Ya like - kombucha? I LOVE KOMBUCHA! Woo WOO WOOO WOOOOO OH MY PATREON, OH OOH OH MY PATREON'S BEEN DELETED OH OH - What am I gonna do, WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOOW? Ugh ackgh ackgh ackgh, ackgh ackgh. WOOOOW YOU DID THIS TO MEEE - ALL OF YOUUUUUUUU!
        wow. woOoOoOw. WOW. SO you guys are SO INTO yourselves, like, you are SO committed to CENSORING innocent people that you’re just gonna go and try to get my patreon DELETED now. oh, you have an OPINION of me, so you’re just gonna try and RUIN my entire career. REALLYmmmm
        WOW. Wow, so you guys are SO into yourselves, Like you are SO commited to CENCORING innocent people, that you're just gonna go and try to get my patreon deleted now. Oh you have an OPINION on me, so you're just gonna try and RUIN my entire career. REALLY? Is that what you're trying to do? Oh, I'm sorry. The FBI never showed up, Oh im SORRY. The cops are ALL ABOUT onion boy because TURNS OUT, DIDNT BREAK A SINGLE LAW. SO WHAT DO WE DO? OH WELL OUR OPINIONS have been invalidated SO many times, THAT WERE GONNA DISABLE HIS PATREON! WOW! wow, You would really do that- YOU WOUD REALLY DO THAT? ... THHHAUGHH!!! ..YOU T R Y TO DO THE FBI, DIDNT WORK! YOU T R I E D TO CALL THE POLICE, DIDNT WORK! ..So INSTEAD, you RESORT to the PAYCHECK.. and you GOT IT! YOU GOT IT!! ALL MY PATREONS HAVE BEEN D E L E T E D. ..Are you HAPPY?? NO!!! ..GNNAH!

..AAAAUHHAAAAUAAAHAAAAAUHAAAUAAA!!! UAAAAAUAAA!! ...Is this what you want, HUH? is THIS WHAT-.. YOU WANT A DDUEGHHDULL, NNUAAAGGGH DDAAUGGHHH!! DO YOU LIKE KOMBUCHA??? I L O V E K A M B U C H A !!! KOMBUCHA!!! WEOOOUGH, WEOOOUGH, WOOOOOOEEEGH, ooOOOOOUGGH, OOOOOOH, OOOOH, DRINKS LIKE PEE AND SMELLS EVEN WORSEE!! OOOAOAOAGHHH! OOOOAAAH, OOOOOOOOAAAAAGH, OOAHMYPAETREONISDELETED, OOOOOAGHH, MYPATERON!! OOOHHE, OOOOOOOH!!! WHAT AM I GONNA DO? WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW??? AEUAUEUAUEUAAAAAH, MMHHHHEEEEEEH, HHEUUUEUH,, WHATTAMIGONNADDDEEEEEEEWWW, WHADDEHEEH, WHATTAMIGONNADDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWW.. IMCOVVEREDINKOMBUCHA, ANDIHAVENOPAAYTREEONNH, AAEEEEH, AAEEEAEEAEEEHH, UUEEAAAHEUUAUUEUAHH, GGHHHUUUEEAAAAAAAHHHHH, UUUUUEAAAAHHH, ...YYYYAAAWWDDIIDDTHISTOHMMMEEEEEEEEEH!! GNAAAAHAHHAHEEEAHAHEEEHEAAH...

        Eu tenho sorte que eu não moro no mundo de pokemon.

          "I'm lucky that I don't live in the pokemon world" copypasta
          Eu tenho sorte que eu não moro no mundo de pokemon, se não eu já teria sido preso 134 vezes diferentes por zoofilia com todas as espécies existentes. Não sobraria um único monstro de bolso que não tivesse sentido o toque do meu pênis, e no final, eu me deixaria ser preso. diria à policial jenny: "Faça o que tiver que fazer, afinal, eu já ganhei", afinal de contas, já teria criado um híbrido com cada raça de pokemon existente nesse mundo. Eu seria mundialmente famoso em todas as regiões e cultuado por companheiros comedores de pokemon como um deus. Eu seria proibido de chegar dentro de 50m de uma gardevoir sem supervisão nos primeiros 3 dias de estadia no mundo pokemon. Em um mês, nenhuma eeveelution estaria segura, e em um ano, a data de minha execução seria marcada para preservar a pureza dos pokemons ainda não violados. Mas não seria o suficiente. com tamanha vontade de fazer sexo com pokemons, meu espírito certamente seria forte o suficiente para me transformar em um tipo fantasma, com uma anatomia ectoplásmica voltada completamente para o único e singelo propósito de espalhar meu DNA para a maior quantidade de pokemons possíveis.

          Open English version

          I'm lucky that I don't live in the pokemon world, otherwise I would have been arrested 134 different times for zoophilia with every existing species. There wouldn't be a single pocket monster left that hadn't felt the touch of my cock, and in the end, I'd let myself be trapped. he would say to police jenny: "Do what you have to do, after all, I already won", after all, he would have already created a hybrid with every existing pokemon race in this world. I would be world famous in all regions and worshiped by fellow pokemon eaters like a god. I would be banned from coming within 50m of an unsupervised gardevoir for the first 3 days of staying in pokemon world. In a month, no eeveelution would be safe, and in a year, my execution date would be set to preserve the purity of pokemons not yet violated. But it wouldn't be enough. with such a desire to have sex with pokemons, my spirit would certainly be strong enough to transform me into a ghost type, with an ectoplasmic anatomy completely focused on the sole and simple purpose of spreading my DNA to the greatest amount of pokemons possible.

          Shadow, o ouriço é um filha da puta do caralho

            Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitch in Portuguese
            Eu vim fazer um anúncio, Shadow o ouriço é um filha da puta do caralho, ele mijou na porra da minha esposa, isso mesmo, ele pegou a porra do pinto espinhoso dele e mijou na porra da minha esposa e disse que o pau dele era dessa tamanho e eu disse "Credo, que nojo" então estou fazendo um exposed no meu twitter.com. Shadow o ouriço, você tem um pau pequeno, que é do tamanho desta noz só que muito menor, e adivinha, olha o tamanho do meu pirocão. Isso mesmo bebê, pontas altas, sem pelos, sem espinhos, olha só, parecem 2 bolas e 1 torpedo. Ele fodeu a minha esposa, então adivinhem, eu vou foder a terra, isso mesmo, isso que você ganha, meu super laser de mijo. Exceto que eu não vou mijar na terra, eu vou mijar na lua, você gostou disto Lula, eu mijei na lua, faz o L agora. vocês tem 23 horas antes que os meus perdigotos de mijo atinjam a Terra. Agora saiam da porra da minha frente, antes que eu mije em vocês também

            English version “Eggman announcement“