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You may have a knife, but I have a throbbing cock

    You may have a knife, but I have a throbbing cock in my pants ready to bust a nut within a microsecond on my command. I’m standing up and you’re sitting in the sidewalk. I can moneyshot you whenever I want. My diet is so shit sulphuric acid feels like gentle moisturiser compared to my nut.
    
    Is it really worth it?

    Peter, the horse is here

      Peter, as we sit here enjoying our meal, I wanted to bring to your attention that there appears to be an unexpected guest among us. It seems that the horse, in some inexplicable manner, has managed to enter the dining room unnoticed and is now standing calmly amidst us. Its large and majestic presence, juxtaposed against the coziness of our dining room, creates a surreal and almost dreamlike ambiance. Despite the unexpected nature of the situation, the horse seems at peace, and its gentle demeanor does not suggest any harm. I thought you would want to be informed of this unexpected and curious occurrence.

      Another variation

      Peter, as we sit here enjoying our meal, engaged in delightful conversation and savoring the delectable flavors, an extraordinary and utterly unexpected occurrence has taken place, transforming the tranquility of our cozy dining room into an otherworldly scene. To our astonishment, a majestic horse, of all things, has somehow found its way into our intimate space, its imposing presence juxtaposed against the warmth and familiarity of our surroundings.
      
      However, as we take a closer look, our initial amazement gives way to concern. The horse appears to be injured, its movements slow and uncertain, and its vacant expression suggesting some sort of impairment. Although the situation is disorienting, there is a palpable sense of calmness emanating from the horse, and it poses no immediate danger to anyone in the room. It is in these unexpected moments that our empathy and compassion are put to the test, urging us to respond with care and consideration for the well-being of this magnificent creature.
      
      Recognizing the importance of acknowledging this strange and fascinating occurrence, I felt it crucial to bring it to your attention. Together, we can approach this situation with sensitivity and ensure that we take appropriate steps to assist the horse or, at the very least, ensure that it is provided with the care it needs.
      
      In the face of such an extraordinary event, it is essential that we remain calm and composed. Sudden movements or loud noises may startle the horse, potentially exacerbating its distress and leading to an undesirable outcome. Let us cultivate an atmosphere of tranquility, allowing the horse to acclimate to its surroundings without additional stress.
      
      Before taking any action, it is prudent to assess the horse's condition from a safe distance. We must carefully observe any visible signs of injury or distress, taking note of its demeanor and behavior. However, we should exercise caution and refrain from attempting to approach or touch the horse without professional guidance. Injured animals can be unpredictable, and our well-intentioned efforts might unintentionally worsen its condition or place us in harm's way.
      
      Given the complexity of the situation, it would be wise to contact local animal control or a nearby animal rescue organization promptly. These entities possess the necessary expertise and resources to handle such situations appropriately. They will be able to assess the horse's condition, provide the required medical care, and take the necessary steps to ensure its safety and well-being.
      
      When reaching out for assistance, it would be beneficial to provide as much information as possible to the authorities or organization involved. Describing the horse's appearance, behavior, and any observations we have made regarding its injuries or impairment will aid them in understanding the situation comprehensively and responding effectively.
      
      While awaiting professional assistance, it is crucial that we maintain a safe distance from the horse and continue to monitor its condition discreetly. This way, we can promptly relay any changes or signs of distress to the authorities, enabling them to make informed decisions and take appropriate action.
      
      As we navigate this surreal and unexpected event, our actions must be driven by empathy and a genuine concern for the horse's well-being. By approaching the situation with caution and empathy, we can ensure that the appropriate measures are taken to provide the necessary care and attention to this remarkable animal.
      
      Together, let us embrace this unprecedented occurrence and strive to facilitate a positive outcome for the horse, ensuring its safety and restoring the harmony of our cherished dining room.

      When my son was 4 years old I took away his mattress and forced him to sleep on the floor every night

        When my son was 4 years old I took away his mattress and forced him to sleep on the floor every night.
        
        If he did his chores, I closed his window.
        If he got straight A's, I gave him a blanket.
        If he got in a fight at school and won, I wouldn't force him to take his shower cold.
        
        One day, he asked me,
        "dad, why is that no matter how hard I work, I can't seem to earn a bed?"
        
        I slapped him, first - every question carries a price - then responded,
        "son, you can work as hard as you can in this world, it doesn't always mean you're going to get what you want."
        Then I asked him,
        "is there a bed in our house?"
        He answered,
        "yes, but it's yours, isn't it?"
        I punched him again - for the question - then told him
        "yes. If you want a bed, you need to fight me for it."
        
        Our president is 80 years old.
        The average age of our senate is 64 years old.
        Young people expect the older generations to give them everything, they are never raised to fight for and take what they want, so they deserve nothing.
        
        Waking up to my 7 year old with a blade held to my throat was the proudest I'd ever been.
        As I slept on the floor, shivering that night in the cold (he also took my blanket and broke my window), I rested soundly, knowing I'd taught him well.

        “No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens”

          Here it comes yet again: "No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens"
          
          You're Goddamn right I've just been copying and pasting this daily on multiple things. That's the fucking point you ignorant gun fucks. You can send me Reddit cares all you want or say "have an original thought" over and over. You're not getting the point (FYI, it's blocked so I don't get those lovely messages anymore, you will have to say it directly to me... Cowards).
          
          Are we not tired of this? I sure as fuck am.
          
          Now that I have your attention probably after seeing this post for hopefully multiple times I’d like to get something off my chest and personal soapbox today. Buckle up,
          
          "The first girl I walked up to was crouched down covering her head in the bushes, so I felt for a pulse, pulled her head to the side and she had no face."
          
          We live now in a country in which our children are randomly put to death in public, so that our congressmen can pose with weapons of war, by Right Wing Terrorists. We live in a country where the amount of stickers in the back of our lifted trucks equates to how many rounds of AR ammunition are stockpiled in our closet.
          
          We live now in a country where we ban books, where we ban drag shows, where we ban doctors from helping kids in crisis, where we ban women from making choices with their bodies. We ban people from voting because some don’t like how they might vote, we ban representatives from state legislators for how they have voted, we ban immigrants, we ban some stem cells, and we ban transgender athletes, we even ban water bottles on planes.
          
          BUT WE DO NOT BAN ASSAULT RIFLES ( or assault like or lite rifles as some ammosexuals like to point out) DO WE
          
          Our children are randomly put to DEATH in public. Our Teachers, our friends. Our Family. Some of them just want to go and enjoy an afternoon at a mall together. Never to return. To protect somebody's right to randomly put another innocent person to death, once a month, once a week, once a day, once AN HOUR.
          
          So now to boost the signal on some actual honest to god things that could be done about this never-ending nightmare?
          
          For starters, the next generation is tired of this shit and is planning a sit-in at the capital on June 6th. Here is a relevant link:
          
          https://twitter.com/joncoopertweets/status/1655293349245452289
          
          And also this goes without saying this group has some amazing ideas:
          
          https://www.sandyhookpromise.org/
          
          And finally, Check out
          
          https://www.everytown.org/
          
          They’re pushing to end gun violence. The more people who make their voices heard the bigger difference we can make.
          
          EDIT: It would seem that indeed some of them are not cowards and do actually have the guts to say what is really on their minds. Let's have a little look at one of the messages I received today..
          
          "You are a disgrace, a worthless mass of flesh that doesn't deserve to be called a human being. I hope your account is banned and your IP blocked. You are what is wrong with America. Please find a dark crevasse and fall in."
          
          WELL BOO HOO!
          
          (Also this goes without saying thanks for the random awards, I'm sending all of that karma back to others right away to show how tired we all are of this. So please boost those as well. I'm also banned in a few conservative and gun subreddits for some strange reason so feel free to take this and use it however you so feel. This goes for Twitter, Facebook, and others as I won't set foot in that cesspool of social media).
          
          The messages will REPEAT AD INFINITUM until something is done.

          Dreamybull Ambatukam

            Ambatukam omaygot meme
            Ambatukam
            AmbatukaaaaHaaAaaaaaa
            Omaygot
            Ambatufakinut
            Ambatubus
            Ahmbasing 
            Ambatublou
            Ambatublow
            Ambatunat

            Dreamybull speech

            Dreamybull speech
            Incredible! However, if your energy in your pseudo-mind is not conducive or, yeah, I like the word conducive to what I'm saying or what I'm feeling, then there's incompatibility. So how do you know that? How do you fix that? Well, first you have to understand. You have to look at yourself and say, what kind of energy or what kind of pseudo power do I have to set my atmosphere? Woooooah, That's good. What kind of pseudo-energy do I have that I can create?
            ⣣⢍⡓⢮⢳⣒⡬⣩⡙⠮⣳⡝⣎⡳⡝⢎⣱⣷⢯⣭⢋⠶⠐⠎⠒⠑⠒ ⣦⢋⣜⢢⣃⠎⡝⠷⢮⣱⠤⢩⡑⢣⣽⣾⣷⠿⣹⠎⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠧⣗⠬⣐⡠⢜⢢⡕⢦⢢⢤⣀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀ ⣿⣯⣮⣳⣌⠯⣜⡱⢢⢍⠖⢢⡆⣤⣀⡀⢄⠠⣄⣀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢛⢳⣼⣿⣿⡿⢫⠟⠁⠀⢀⣄⣀⢀⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢧⠿⣮⣲⡙⣎⡳⢎⣜⣣⠞⡵⢲⡐⠠⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⡵⣋⡞⢼⣾⣿⣿⣟⠜⠁⠀⠀⠀⣏⠶⣘⠦⣙⠼⣙⠣⠆⡠⠑⠮⣤⢄⠀⠹⣽⣷⢿⡾⣽⣯⣞⣵⢯⣝⢧⣻⣠⣌ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⢯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡘⢎⡵⣉⢆⠳⡈⢆⠡⠀⠁⠀⠠⠘⣇⢀⠘⣿⣯⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣾⡿⣶⣿⣿ ⢎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣩⠒⡴⢡⢎⡱⢌⠂⠔⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⠓⣖⢽⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⢚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣼⣿⣿⣿⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡘⣄⠋⡔⢃⠎⡐⠈⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣉⢬⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡦⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⢀⡀⠄⣴⢵⣦⣣⢼⠀⠊⠀⠄⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠐⠠⢎⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡑⢻⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡖⠛⢢⢤⡟⡩⠗⠒⠾⣿⣿⡿⢳⣆⢀⠀⡀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠉⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡻⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⣪⢵⣁⠀⠁⠀⠁⠐⢉⠣⣘⡓⢀⣂⣴⠾⣛⣒⣐⣂⡆⢄⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡿⢣⣿⣿⢸⠀⣄⡣⠀⠀⠀⠄⡇⡀⠙⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣫⠗⠲⡾⠠⠚⠻⠶⠑⠈⠉⠑⢎⠙⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢺⣿⣿⢯⣗⣱⣿⡿⡾⠀⢉⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣵⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⢏⡰⠀⣷⣰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢼⠀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢧⣻⣿⣼⡇⣼⣿⢷⠣⣶⢸⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠂⠀⠀⠀⠠⡞⠁⠤⠀⠀⢹⡎⠣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣳⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣏⡷⣿⣿⡼⣷⣿⣏⡀⡆⣛⠈⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡴⣖⠍⠀⠀⠀⢿⠈⠂⠄⠀⠀⠀⢀⡰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡾⣵⢻⣏⢾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⠽⢀⠂⠌⡠⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⢮⣁⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣟⣾⢹⣿⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠠⢈⠐⡀⠀⣴⠫⢤⢔⣠⣬⣹⠟⠿⡲⣥⢶⣦⣬⢀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠠⣹⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣟⣾⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠐⡀⠆⢸⡴⣷⠞⢉⠐⠉⠃⠙⠛⠀⠀⠠⠶⣤⡄⢠⡈⢦⠀⡠⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣏⣶⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡀⢀⠐⣈⢺⣱⠁⡿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⢀⡀⠀⢀⡀⢙⢶⣿⢸⡇⣭⣟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⠂⠄⡀⠌⠘⠀⠁⢻⣟⠻⢿⣿⠛⠙⢹⣯⠉⠓⡻⢿⢿⠾⢯⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠻⢿⣿⣴⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢃⠐⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣝⠤⠈⠻⣧⣴⠟⠹⢎⡷⠀⠈⢧⣰⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢠⣒⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠌⡠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠑⠀⡀⢠⠨⠭⠞⠀⠁⣠⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡷⢯⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠈⠦⣵⡄⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣶⠏⠀⣴⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⠛⠟⢛⡛⠿ ⡛⢧⢻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡥⢐⠢⣄⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠻⠛⠓⠃⢀⣼⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣏⣷⣽⣾⣿⠿⣏⠙⠄⠂⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠂ ⡙⣎⠳⣜⢫⠞⡿⢿⣿⣿⣟⣦⠩⣒⠭⣿⣿⣶⣠⣤⣦⣠⢀⢀⠤⣀⣶⡿⣋⣼⣿⣿⡿⠿⢛⠉⡍⢯⡑⠣⠠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠵⣈⠳⡘⢎⡱⡙⢧⡻⡽⢿⣄⡉⠀⠭⠛⠿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣽⣿⡿⣿⡿⠍⠞⠟⠛⠁⠀⠂⠀⠐⡘⠦⡙⠅⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

            Okay fuck you, FNF fans are extremely discriminated

              Okay fuck you, FNF fans are extremely discriminated against and you won’t support them. This is why I unfollowed you, you just made fun of me. I tried giving you a 2nd chance but you didn’t listen. I hope you enjoy being a bigot who won’t support the minority of gamers.