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Palauan Princess

    Originated from the AR15.com forum where a random person replied to a thread with a story of marrying a Palau princess.

    LMFAO....nailed it
    
    But in my case married the Princess of Ngaraard, Palau....Ulimang Clan....bitch tried poisoning me off when I found out the 13yr old daughter wasnt mine.....
    
    Crazy slut was just trying to protect her political status in her country.
    
    Palau Supreme Court Case CA15-009....I got the entire Palau Council of Chief’s to strip that bitches Queen status....case pending.
    
    Both the mother in law...former Queen and her Brother the Clan Chief...dropped fukn dead....kinda sent US Federal Agents after them....try poisoning me off you fuckers
    
    Her Uncle was Elias Camsek Chin....Palau Senate President....killed his fuckin career....when Colonel Whelan of the 36th Mission Support Group on Guam killed himself when his wife wanted a divorce after she found out he was fuckin my wife.....
    
    Crazy fukn brown skinned people 

    I messaged a whole bunch of minors, do you know what a minor is?

      Shungite copypasta but minors

      Parody of the Shungite copypasta by Dr DisRespect but changed to minors on account of rumors of him sexting minors resulting in his infamous Twitch ban.

      Anyways, um... I messaged a whole bunch of minors, do you know what a minor is? Anybody know what a minor is? No, not miners, I think they work in an underground mine. I'm talkin' minors. Anyways, it's a under 18 year-old like, child that you can cheat on your wife with and unwanted partners that may be traveling in the air. So that's my story, I groomed a whole bunch of them, took them around the la casa. Little children, stuff like that.

      Yashwatthama “yay” Yadav

        Part of a series of copypasta featuring a pro Valorant players with fictional biography of ridiculous background from Asia.

        Yashwatthama "yay" Yadav is an Indian professional Valorant player for NV, an American electrical sports ( e-sports) organisation. He is also known as El Diablo aka the demon because of his mafia connections in his hometown, Haryana. 

        QcK = Qiangjiang Cultivation Kingdom

          Gabriel “QcK” Lima is a Brazilian pro Valorant player who is playing for LOUD.

          Qiangjiang Cultivation Kingdom (qck) is a Chinese agricultural collective located in the south-central Hubei Province. QCK is known for its extreme success in cultivating frost peas XL (FPX) and the pride of the Chinese agricultural industry, Elegant Dragon gourds (EDG), particularly in the early growing season. Unfortunately, qck's previous success was stunted by two consecutive waves of plant diseases. Its third crop was decimated by a bout of stunted enation necrosis (SEN), while its fourth crop was infected by Powdery Rust Xanthomas (PRX).
          
          Investors are concerned about qck's long-term financial viability and its ability to recoup the loss of the region's previous star crop, Aspasragus.
          Qiangjiang Cultivation Kingdom (qck) is a Chinese agricultural collective located in the south-central Hubei Province. QCK is known for its extreme success in cultivating frost peas XL (FPX) and the pride of the Chinese agricultural industry, Elegant Dragon gourds (EDG), particularly in the early growing season. Unfortunately, qck's previous success was stunted by two consecutive waves of plant diseases. Its third crop was decimated by a bout of stunted enation necrosis (SEN), while its fourth crop was infected by Powdery Rust Xanthomas (PRX). Such bad luck has only continued into the current harvest split.
          
          The loss of the region's previous star crop, Aspasragus, has proven disastrous for qck and its larger shipping conglomerate, Liaoyang Overseas Urban Docking (LOUD). Shanghai investors have started withdrawing their support, reallocating it to other regional investment instruments, including Korean Retail Units (KRU).

          War Thunder – one look at that frame will turn any straight man gay and any gay man ace.

            From a deranged comment on r/Warthunder complaining about missile spam meta for the game.

            ... yeah no thanks, one look at that frame will turn any straight man gay and any gay man ace. Top tier gameplay will continue to deflate my weiner sufficiently enough that I can substitute it for wearing a cage, or as an alternative to Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.
            
            Miss me with your dogshite Gaijin, bring back WW2-cold war-focused updates if you want to play it safe & make us happy, give us some WWI-interwar action if you want to try something new & special (don't half-ass it), give us a much needed complete engine overhaul, finally fucking decompress BR's significantly and get some real balancing going! Just give us something- anything unique or innovative! Or you can get the fuck out. Because right now, you're trying to expand towards modern with game balancing and an engine that doesn't support it.
            
            you're losing me as a loyal paying player with nearly 4000 hours. This shit isn't fun and I've already started playing other games over your drivel ass updates. Regain some god damn creative vision, make some outside swings, stop circling the toilet bowl you've placed yourself in.
            
            I know you're doing financially well, but you're burning good will with your community and have been for years. It eventually catches up, and I think a lot of us are waiting and praying for some one to try it but better; to take a shot at the king.
            
            I can't complain about 4k hours, truly I can't! And you've already gotten your fair share of cash from me, which is fine. But your existence as a live service game tells me that you want me to keep paying and playing. Not gonna happen if you keep this shit up.
            
            So far I'm thinking you're more on the ball with Enlisted these days than you've been on War Thunder for at least two years now.

            Has fromsoft gone woke?

              From a Reddit comment shitposting on the fact that Fromsoft has gone woke with the release of Shadow of the Erdtree DLC for Elden Ring.

              Let me preface this by saying that I am not, and I repeat, not bad at souls games. In fact, I've played this genre since before it was a genre. So I know how to play these games, and how much you normally struggle when playing new ones. Now, all that out if the way, i am going to come out and say it. This dlc is really, really bad.
              
              The world design is amazing, sure, and the bosses are really cool. But I have a different problem, one that you can't just learn the attack timing of.
              
              I hate the gay people in this dlc. I have always been extremely homophobic, and the souls series might have put a bit of gayness here and there, but it was never this pronounced. Has fromsoft gone woke?
              
              They try to mask it with incest, but it's not the same as brother and sister playing around (which is fine, completely normal). Brothers playing around is wrong, because it is a sin. In a familial situation, some sexual tension is natural but never towards other men. Me and my sister took baths together until we were in our late teens, but if I did that with my dad, or if I had a brother and saw him naked, that would be immoral and wrong.
              
              The fact that fromsoft is pushing this makes me extremely uncomfortable, and I need them to change it. It ruins the entire dlc and pits a bad taste in my mouth, a worse taste than that time my mom accidentally peed in my mouth. And let me tell you, that woman's piss stank something fierce. Thats how serious this is.
              
              Please, think of my religion. I dont care if you are some chinese or korean developers or something, you should nautraly, instinctively know that God wouldn't want this, Jesus wouldn't want this, and I'm sure Saint Trump wouldn't want this. 🙏