The real reason you can't invade Australia is because it doesn't exist. Australia is not real. It’s a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again. It’s a coverup for one of the greatest mass murders in history, made by one of the most prominent empires.
Australia does not exist. All things you call “proof” are actually well fabricated lies and documents made by the leading governments of the world. Your Australian friends? They’re all actors and computer generated personas, part of the plot to trick the world.
If you think you’ve ever been to Australia, you’re terribly wrong. The plane pilots are all in on this, and have in all actuality only flown you to islands close nearby – or in some cases, parts of South America, where they have cleared space and hired actors to act out as real Australians.
Australia is one of the biggest hoaxes ever created, and you have all been tricked. Join the movement today, and make it known that they have been deceived. Make it known, that this has all just been a cover-up. The things these “Australian” says to be doing, all these swear words and actions based on alcoholism, MDMA and bad decisions, are all ways to distract you from the ugly truth that is one of the greatest genocides in history. 162,000 people was said to have been transported to this imaginary land during a mere 80 years, and they are all long dead by now. They never reached that promised land.
The human penis was so perfectly created for sucking, it's literally the design-prototype for the popsicle. That's why it's so easy & straightforward. In fact, you can even do it while playing Mario Kart.
But cunnilingus requires a singular, uni-task commitment, cuz you're basically snacking on an open wound. There's no watching Netflix or doing ANYTHING else when you're going down on a woman: Your head is buried, like a frightened ostrich. If you're lucky, you can still hear the stereo. So trading one for the other is totally unfair for the guy!
I say, 3 fellatio = 1 cunnilingus. That's a fair trade. (I'm also open to nontraditional trades, like something Bobby Bonilla's agent would think of: 1 fellatio + 1 sandwich + 1 nap = 1 cunnilingus.)
I don't want this to be weird, so I'll try to keep this as normal as possible.
A few days back, I was watching a video on YT, about a man solving an integration question asked in an MIT exam. The question looked so complex, it was scary honestly. I tried to solve it using my 2 years of half-assed JEE prep, and I failed. I felt angry at the question, it made me feel violated and submissive. However, when the lecturer started solving it, I became flabbergasted. The way he simplified a complex trigonometric function into a basic 10th-grade level, I felt butterflies in my stomach on seeing his way of thinking. It was so unique, I got a feeling like when you think of your crush for the entire day at home and you see her at school the next day and your stomach just tightens and feels light. To my surprise, he wasn't finished. He laughed and said, "This can be simplified further, watch me". He grabbed the question by reaching further in and started to harass it, squeezing out everything hidden inside its fragile body, and finally blew his entire load of knowledge onto it. By the time he was done, I noticed that the question had transformed into a basic 6th-grade algebraic equation. "Polar coordinates, they're useful."- He sighed. As soon as those words hit me, the feeling in my stomach jumped into my throat, and I felt my knees get weak. I felt my penile opening tense up and start to vibrate, in resonance with my sperm glands. Right when I was at the peak of satisfaction, his lips murmured - "Aaand, we can't forget the +C!". As those words hit my ears, my heart exploded. I felt love again. Seeing such a smart person solve such a complex question, my God. Before I knew it, my prostate started to violently pulsate, and I realized that my pants were oozing cum. I just ejaculated to Mathematics, and I've never felt happier.
Does anyone else feel attracted to people who solve complex maths? Something about their way of thinking is so arousing. I am thinking of marrying someone with a masters in math.
I (F21) went over to my friend's (M28) apartment today. He likes when I do stuff to his butt. But I've only put a finger up there a couple of times before and not that deep (I have put my tongue in there more times than a finger). Today it was different. I started by sucking his dick and when he almost came he told me to play with his balls and then he got on all fours and I put a finger in his butt. He then flipped over again and he moved his body so that my finger went deeper and deeper. That's when I felt the poop. It was hard so my finger didn't get visibly dirty. I just kept the finger in there and jerked him off with my other hand and he came in my mouth. I pulled it out slowly as he instructed and he asked if I got anything on it and I said no. Because it wasn't visible. Should I have told him the truth?
Edit: I've had dicks in my asshole and most of the time there was poop in there. Even if I'm using the right tools while prepping. I don't know what's wrong with me. Normally I only poop like every three days. And I don't know how to make anal work for me. I told you this to make it clear to all of you that I am not disgusted by him or anything. I have caused way more mess than he did. It was okay. But since he asked if I got anything on my finger and I lied, I just wanted to know if you think I should have told him what actually happened.
Hello?
Hey, what's up?
I need your help, can you come here?
I can't, I'm buying clothes.
Alright, well hurry up and get over here.
I can't find them.
What do you mean you can't find 'em?
I can't find 'em; there's only soup.
What do you mean there's only soup?
It means there's only soup.
Well then get out of the soup aisle!
Alright you don't have to shout at me! There's more soup!
What do you mean there's more soup?!
There's just more soup!
Go into the next aisle!
There's still soup!
Where ARE you right now?!
I'm at soup!
What do you mean you're "at soup"?!
I mean I'm at soup!
What STORE are you in?!
I'm at the soup store!
WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!
F*CK YOU!
Sans version
Sans: hello?
Papyrus: Hey, what's up?
Sans: i need your help, can you come here?
Papyrus: I can't, I'm buying clothes.
Sans: alright, well hurry up and get over here.
Papyrus: I can't find them.
Sans: what do you mean you can't find 'em?
Papyrus: I can't find 'em; there's only soup.
Sans: what do you mean there's only soup?
Papyrus: It means there's only soup.
Sans: well then get out of the soup aisle!
Papyrus: Alright you don't have to shout at me!
Papyrus: There's more soup!
Sans: what do you mean there's more soup?!
Papyrus: There's just more soup!
Sans: go into the next aisle!
Papyrus: There's still soup!
Sans: where ARE you right now?!
Papyrus: I'm at soup!
Sans: what do you mean you're "at soup"?!
Papyrus: I mean I'm at soup!
Sans: what STORE are you in?!
Papyrus: I'm at the soup store!
Sans: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!
Papyrus: FUCK YOU!
I literally just opened reddit and the first thing i see is hentai. I was fucking sitting on the bus and then a giant pair of big jiggle anime honkers popped on my screen. I was sitting next to a mother with a child and exposed both of them to that horrific scene. I want to kill myself now. It was so bad my anxiety started acting up and the next moment i had fucking nuclear diarrhoea. The bishop i had up my ass started letting go. I had to get off the bus and into the near woods to relieve myself and readjust the bishop. Fuck you again!
