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Happy Cake Day

    Happy cake day uwu. *sticks tongue out cheekily* I bet you must be really cool if you've had a r-reddit account this long. *shy blush* oh u-um... *looks away* I think something else here is getting long too owo. *notices my bulge* omg im so sorry. *blushes more* it's just- I don't know what it is but knowing you've been such a good redditor for this long makes me feel weird things... *sweats a little* you know? *bites lips cutely* knowing that you can be dedicated to something for so long makes me feel like you could be loyal. *gulps with nervous giggle* um haha... *notices my bulge getting bigger* uh now that I think about it *tries to make normal conversation but fails* I could like your frosting haha! *red flushes as red as a fat juicy tomato* I... ha. You know I bet you're a really nice person you know? *shuffles trying to hide my now huge erection* I'd compliment you more my love *eyes widen* I mean friend, friend! omg I'm so sorry I really didn't mean to call you love *giggles shyly, shuffling more away from you* Anyway... I'd compliment you more my lo- friend! *looks directly down, desperate to avoid eye contact* but I have to go uh... *tries to make excuse* shopping! That's it, you see, I need some milk! So anyway I guess I'll talk to you later friend, happy cake day! *smiles sweetly and longingly at you*

    Real Transexual

      Parody of the ‘Real Emo‘ copypasta but changed to gatekeeping “real” transexual.

      "Real Transexual" only consists of Man with extreme sex dysphoria who have completely transitioned and all the Woman with exteme sex dysphoria who have completely transioned. What is known by "Non-Binary" is nothing but a bunch of gender non conforming kids with questionable real transrexual influence. When people try to argue that genders like catgender clowngender and Demigender are not real transexual, while saying that Non-Binary is, I can't help not to cringe because they are just as fake transexual as Catgender (plus the pretentiousness). Real transgenders are SUICIDAL, have EXTREME SEX DYSPHOIA and are somewhat HATEFUL. Fake transexual is weak, self pity and a failed attempt at transitioning . Some examples of REAL TRANSEXUAL are Transwoman, and transman (the only real Transexual identity that is automatically a trender). Some examples of FAKE TRANSEXUAL are Agender,Non Binary and Catgender. TRANSEXUAL BELONGS TO PASSING EXTREMELY DYSPHORIC TRANSEXUALS NOT TO NON-BINARY XENOGENDER MOGAI OR ANY OTHER MADE UP IDENTITY

      For the next 10 years RCB should be in playoffs no matter what..

        For the next 10 years RCB should be in playoffs no matter what.. The amount of vengeance now I have with CSK is insane... I never seen such a troll for any team. The CSK fans can't even take up the fact they have been eliminated by RCB. If being agression is the problem then Kohli should be more aggressive. If winning against them is the problem, then we should win more.. If 'RCB' winning a cup is a problem,then we should win..not 1,2 ...we should win 7,8 cups in a row..with the same aggressive, excited Kohli and Co. Then we can speak, we fight with this mental yellove fanbase. But Until then we have to be silent, calm, waiting. I want RCB to win each and every head to head CSK match in the future.. Csk should n't win a single match .CSK should fear of RCB every time they face.. I have to see the fear in the yellow fans. I want to see it.I am waiting.

        AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸

          🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸WE ONLY CARE ABOUT INCHES AND FEET 🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐FUCK THE METRIC SYSTEM 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅😂😂😂😂 AND YARDS 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸WHAT EVEN IS A METER ?????? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔NO IDEA 🦅🦅🦅🦅🐐🐐🐐WHO CARES ABOUT CELSIUS 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🤮🤮🤮🤮WHEN WE HAVE FAHRENHEIT GAWDDAMN IT 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸100 C IS WHEN WATER BOILS??????😂😂😂😂😂😂🤡🤡HELL NAW MAN💯💯💯96 FAHRENHEIT EQUALS THE BODY TEMPERATURE💯HELL YEAAAAHHH🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🤡🤡🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐 WE ONLY USE FREEDOM UNITS OVER HERE 💯💯💯💯🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅1 FEET EQUALS 12 INCHES BUT 1 METER EQUALS ONE 🤡🤡🤡HUNDRED CENTIMETERS??????????? 🤮🤮🤮🐐🐐🐐😂😂😂 THAT’S CRAZY 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🇺🇸🐐🦅🐐😂😂🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🤮POUNDS INSTEAD OF KILOGRAMS OBVIOUSLY 😂😂😂😂🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸😂🦅🦅🦅💯💯💯💯1 LITRE WATER WEIGHS 1 KILOGRAM?????? WHO CARES 😂😂🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 WHO USES LITERS ANYWAY 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡💯💯💯💯🦅🦅🦅GALLONS ARE MUCH BETTER 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅🐐🐐🐐🐐BECAUSE 👍🏻👍🏻FREEDOM UNIT🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐 PASCALS FOR PRESSURE??????😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤮 HOW ABOUT POUNDS PER SQUARE INCH 💯💯💯💯💯💯🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 WHO’S HERE FOR SOME 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁DEMOCRACY?????? 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐 AMERICA, FUCK YEAH 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 
          🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸

          You like Taylor Swift?

            It’s a reference to the movie American Psycho scene “You like Huey Lewis and the News?” but changed to fit Taylor Swift.

            You like Taylor Swift?

Her early work was a little too country for my tastes, but when ‘Red’ came out in 2012, I think she really came into her own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. She’s been compared to Beyonce, but I think Taylor has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

In 2014, Taylor released this☝, ‘1989’, her most accomplished album. I think her undisputed masterpiece is "Blank Space", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about Taylor herself. HEY PAUL!!

            AITA for choosing Funko Pops over my wife?

              Source
              I know everyone's going to think this is fake but trust me when I say this is an actual situation I'm going through. So for some explanation I have been collection Funko Pops way before I even met my wife. Buying Funko Pops started off just as a small interest but quickly became a passion of mine. Since my first time buying a Funko Pop 6 years ago I've stocked up thousands of these figures. So now about my relationship with my wife. 2 years ago I met my soon to be wife. From the very beginning of the relationship she was well aware of my Funko Pop collection and was well aware that at the time I was spending a few hundred bucks monthly in order to keep expanding my collection. She was perfectly fine with this btw. In fact she would buy Funko Pops for me for my B-Day and for Christmas. However about a week ago we got in a huge fight over my spending of Funko Pops. I will admit these past few months I have been dropping about $500 monthly on Funko figures, but in my opinion it was not financially tanking considering me and my wife have pretty decent jobs. I don't want to state what those jobs are for privacy reasons. Anyways she was telling me I needed to stop the Funko Pop collecting for a long time or at least cut down my Funko spending to 3 Funko Pops per month. In my opinion that is so ridiculous considering how limited I would be in my choice of Funko Pops. I tried to explain to her how much I enjoy collecting these figures, and how much it means to me. She then started yelling that we were going to go in debt because of the amount of money I've been spending on Funko Pops. I stated to her how she was completely over-reacting and there is no way we could possibly go in debt from this.

After some more screaming she locked herself in our room and I had to sleep on the couch that night. I really did not feel bad at all because I knew she was over-reacting. When I woke up in the morning she told me she was going to stay at her sisters house until we could sort things out. I honestly just couldn't believe she was going so far with this. I tried my best to convince her to stay but again she kept stating that I needed to stop the Funko collecting for a long time. That isn't an option for me because again she is completely over-reacting and it is in no way affecting us financially.

A few days go by and I get a call from her. She tells me that I need to choose. Either I stop the Funko Pop collecting or we're getting a divorce. I started telling her how ridiculous she was being because she obviously is being ridiculous. After 2 years she was just willing to throw away our marriage over my passion. She was pretty much sobbing at this point and then I finally just told her I'm not going to let her get in the way of my passion. I still haven't gotten the divorce papers but I'm expecting them soon.

So AITA for choosing Funko Pops over my wife? Again I'm very passionate about them and I think it's ridiculous for someone to try and take that away from me when it is in no way shape or form hurting them..