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MINESWEEPER: THE MOVIE.

    The minecraft movie trailer inspired more shitty gaming trailers copypasta

    Its a satirical response on big gaming titles adaptations into shitty movie. The copypasta is also a nod towards an earlier Mario Movie copypasta that started on 4chan that became somewhat accurate.

    THIS SUMMER…

Male 1: I don’t know what’s happening my computer’s making weird noises

Female 1: Stop! It’s going to explode!

Male 2: MICHAEL!

Computer emits a blue light and everyone gets pulled into the computer in an 8 bit so retro fashion

The cast lands on a giant grey square floating in an empty space

Male 1: Where are we?

Cinematic shot of square tiles appearing across the board all around the cast

Female 2: What the f-

She is cut off by a black screen with 3D text reading THE GAME YOU KNOW

Male 1: We have to clear out all the squares to get back to the real world

IS ABOUT TO CHANGE

Female 1: Wait, don’t step on that sq-

Dramatic build up music comes to a comical halt as Male 2 is pulled back by Male 1 just as he steps on a tile that explodes with enough force that would’ve killed him

Male 2: Aw hell naw!

THE DIGITAL WORLD NEEDS A HERO

Shot of Female 2 running across multiple tiles at once

AND THESE MINES

Shot of a floating digital 2 coming out of a tile

NEED

Shot of Male 1 dramatically reaching across a tile to grab the hand of Female 1

A SWEEPER

Dramatic trailer music once again comes to a sudden comedic halt as Male 2 steps on a tile as a digital 7 rises out of it

Male 2: You have GOT to be kidding me!

MINESWEEPER: THE MOVIE. COMING AUGUST 2025

    Floodpits Drowner

      MTG Floodpits Drowner stun counter copypasta
      I read Merfolk and I smiled.

I then read Flash and an eyebrow raised.

I then read Vigilance and gasped.

I then read applying a Stun Counter and muttered oh my god.

I then read it has removal with the Stun Counter and leaned forward.

I then read 2/1 and prepped my credit card.

All that for only for 1U on an Uncommon... Give it to me now.

      What the jiminy crickets did you just flaming say about me, you little bozo?

        Its one of the many parodies of the Navy Seals copypasta that started from 4chan.

        What the jiminy crickets did you just flaming say about me, you little bozo? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Cub Scouts, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret camping trips in Wyoming, and I have over 300 confirmed knots. I am trained in first aid and I’m the top bandager in the entire US Boy Scouts (of America). You are nothing to me but just another friendly face. I will clean your wounds for you with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this annual trip, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying those shenanigans to me over the Internet? Think again, finkle. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of MSN friends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the seminars, man. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your bake sale. You’re frigging done, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can tie knots in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in road safety, but I have access to the entire manual of the United States Boy Scouts (of America) and I will use it to its full extent to train your miserable butt on the facts of the continents, you little schmuck. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your silly tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goshdarned sillyhead. I will throw leaves all over you and you will dance in them. You’re friggin done, kiddo.

        imagine if caseoh said “HAWK TUAH” (ayo sus😳)

          imagine if caseoh said “HAWK TUAH” (ayo sus😳) and then jynxi said “Barrr aimm” JAH PULL OFF!!! chills bro... literal chills... might need my DIOR DIOR jacket for this one... kai cenat: E E Ei! squidward: giggle giggle ishowspeed: mews rick ross: if i was rod wave i would surf the world!!! max design pro: sigma edit woaguy: GOONER SQUAD, ACTIVATE!

          Dark Willow

            Dark Willow copypasta
            The biggest oversight with Dark Willow is that she's unbelievably sexy. I can't go on a hour of my day without thinking about plowing that tight wooden ass. I'd kill a man in cold blood just to spend a minute with her crotch grinding against my throbbing manhood as she whispers terribly dirty things to me in her geographically ambiguous accent.
            The biggest🙌💯oversight🔭🔍with Dark✊🏾Willow🌳is that she's unbelievably sexy🤤💦🍆. I can't go on a hour🕐of my day🌞without thinking💭💦about plowing👉👌🚜that tight😳wooden🌳ass💦🍑. I'd kill🔫😱a man👨 in cold❄️blood😈just to spend💷a minute⏱️with her crotch🍑😫grinding against my throbbing💦🍆💦manhood💦🍆💦as she whispers🙊😫terribly dirty💩💩things to me in her geographically🌍🌎ambiguous🌏🗺️accent🇮🇪.

            Pasta response

            Okay. So, I’ve been seeing this copypasta floating around about wanting to “bang Dark Willow”, and frankly- I think this is disgusting. First of all, her name isn’t “Dark Willow”, it’s Mireska. It’s a beautiful name for a beautiful person, and you would all do well to refer to her as such. If you don’t even know her name, than you have no right wanted to have sex with her!

Secondly, wanting to bang her is just gross. Saying that you want to bang Mireska is objectifying her, and it is not okay. If you’ve ever wanted to bang Mireska, you should be disgusted with yourself.

Unlike you cretins, I however- respect her. Sure, it’s possible I may consider her to be rather bangable, but I wouldn’t dare do such a thing. Mireska is a fucking queen, and deserves to be treated as such.

I DO NOT want to bang “Dark Willow". I want to hug her. I want to be in a healthy and loving relationship with Mireska. I want to wake up every morning in bed, with her lying peacefully next to me as the morning sun shines in through the window. I want to make her breakfast every morning, and tend to her every need. I want her to feel like she is truly loved, (because she is). I want her to be by my side for my whole life, because I know that she is the perfect woman for me, and I am perfect for her.

I want to be to be with her every day, just so I can tell her how much I fucking love her. I want her to know how much I adore everything amazing personality, her incredible fashion sense, her extremely impressive caretaking abilities, and her absolutely beautiful wing to body ratio, and her beautiful, beautiful eyes.

However, if I were to ever have sex with Mireska, wouldn’t simply be “banging” her. If Mireska were to ever consent to me having sexual intercourse with her, it would be tender and loving and passionate. As we make love, I’d slowly and gently caress her soft, fluffy wings as I slowly but deliberately thrusted into her tight wooden pussy. I would make her pleasure my utmost priority, with my own being secondary. But if she was willing, than oh god. What I wouldn’t give to feel her adorable little antennas running up and down the length of my shaft. I just wanna pet every inch of her body, and give her scritches on her tummy so she does that thing that fairies do where their wings spaz out. That’d just be so fucking hot. I’d probably end up cumming all over her, so it gets on her wings. But goddamn. I love those wings too much, that I’d personally lick off every last drop of cum, just to I have another opportunity to get as close to her gorgeous wings as possible.

But if you just want to bang her, than you are a disgusting degenerate, and I hope you burn in the deepest pits of tartarus.

            My neighbor told me coyotes keep eating his outdoor cats

              My neighbor told me coyotes keep eating his outdoor cats so I asked how many cats he has and he said he just goes to the shelter and gets a new cat afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding shelter cats to coyotes and then his daughter started crying.