... Ok, so how is Potemkin low tier?
- Potemkin Buster is completely non-interactive. Not only do you just watch your health instantly disappear, but you literally can't tech it, meaning the potemkin can just grab you with his big meaty fingers. What are you gonna do, mash on it and die? Also, the buster gives oki, so if you ever go into his reach of his meaty, sweaty hands and get grabbed, you just die. 50% health drain + guard crush oki = Auto death.
- "He has bad tools" He actively kills you if he ever grabs you. Literally the only character in fighting games who doesn't need to use his tools because busting is just so good. Other characters have to manage meters to access their tools, like Hakumen (who's lame), and Hakumen doesn't just automatically kill you if he gets close to you.
- "But you can jump command grab to not die!" HPB.
- His so-called "bad defense" is isn't even a real downside. Other DPs just knock you away. Potemkin's super prc into buster is his wincon. Also, did I mention he actively kills you if he gets his big, meaty, tender hands around you?
- "All characters do high damage! Look at this 90% combo on Chipp!" You probably think "Every character has high damage. It's Guilty Gear Strive. You can press four buttons and do, like, 60% in this game. That's not special." but Potemkin's combo is some stick twirling and a single button for 170%+ damage.
- "He has bad buttons!" The're slow as shit, but they have good reach. And 6k lets him do kara buster from fullscreen that cannot be countered at all.
- Every other character has a double jump or air dash to alter air momentum. This makes anti-airs hard, but he can just Heavenly Potemkin Buster and you cease to exist.
- "He has bad pressure cuz the lack of mix" Sure, this is literally a game where Happy Chaos just gets to press HS, and Millia can do a 4-way mixup off of a knockdown, but you think that's comparable pressure? He actively kills you with a single, passionate grab.
- He doesn't have a grounded dash... except for the command dash that armors and can be prc'd into his tender, loving embrace.
- He doesn't have an aerial dash at all, and his jumps are slow, until he megafists and then follows up with a sweaty, juicy, tender, amazing buster.
And I bet you're just gonna make the "blame the beasts" joke instead of actually countering any of my points lmao.
... Ok, so how is Nagoriuki high tier?
- Blood Heat is completely non-interactive. Not only do you just watch your health zap away in five seconds, but you literally can't use any of your specials, meaning the opponent can just sit there full-screen and patiently wait. What are you gonna do, dash at them? Also, the activation is so punishable, so if you ever go into blood reach and get hit, you just die. 50% health drain + game with high damage combos = Auto death.
- "He has good tools" He actively kills himself if he uses his special moves. Literally the only character in fighting games who isn't allowed to use his moves a lot or else the game just kills him. Other characters have to manage meters to access their tools, like Hakumen (who he's obviously based on), but Hakumen doesn't just automatically die if he runs out of meter.
- "But you can command grab to get health back!" Jump.
- His so-called "DP" is isn't even a real DP. Other DPs are strike invincible frame 1. Nago's still gets hit by lows. Also, did I mention he actively kills himself when he uses his tools?
- "He does high damage! Look at this 90% combo on Chipp!" Every character has high damage. It's Guilty Gear Strive. You can press four buttons and do, like, 60% in this game. That's not special.
- "He has good buttons!" They have far reach, but they're also slow as shit. Can easily be countered by someone like Ram or May.
- Every other character has a double jump or air dash to alter air momentum. This makes his anti-air game really weak.
- "He has good pressure cuz special cancelling" This is literally a game where Happy Chaos just gets to press HS, and Millia can do a 4-way mixup off of a knockdown, and you think Nagoriuki doing yolo 214HS into 623HS is comparable pressure? He actively kills himself the more he does it.
- He doesn't have a grounded dash... except for the command dash that actively kills him if he uses it.
- He doesn't have an aerial dash at all, and his jumps are slow.
And I bet you're just gonna make the "blame the beasts" joke instead of actually countering any of my points lmao.
There you go
Suspira * Onii-chaaaaan * pula e abraça * Ｏ (≧ ∇ ≦) Ｏ Eu senti sua falta * cheira * (* ^ ) * fuah * Eu amo o seu cheiro Onii-chan (^ w ), hein? Não cheirar você? Não seja bobo Onii-chan, eu te amo, por que não posso mostrar meu carinho? (─‿‿─) ♡ Hahaha, seu rosto está vermelho. Woah Onii-chan, por que você está me empurrando para a cama? ヽ (° 〇 °) ﾉ * Kyaaaaa * não me faz cócegas Onii-chan haha counter attaaaaack * empurra você para baixo * ヽ (> ∀ <☆) ノ. Hehehe eu ganhei! Onii-chan, seu rosto está realmente vermelho agora, Hmmh * sorri * (= ^ - ω - ^ slightsmile talvez você esteja se apaixonando por mim? * Chuuuuu * (ﾉ ´ з ) ノ * beija você * Woah O-onii-chan w-o que você está fazendo ?! * H-hyyaaaaa * não tire minha calcinha! Não olhe para o meu lugar privado! ( / ▽ ＼ *) * Ah * * Ah * Não me lamba lá, está sujo! * Ahhhhhh * * fuah * * ah * * ah * (// ω //) O-onii-chan a-você vai colocar? O-ok, eu estou pronto. (／。＼) * Heeeee * eu-dói. ~ (> <~) SWW dwon * ah * * ah * * MMMH * O-onii-chan Eu amo você! * AHHHHHHH * * MMMHHH * * AH * * Hah * * Hah * hah * O-ONIII-CHAAANN você baka, por que você fez isso por dentro? ヽ (д´ *) ノ B-bem, se foi bom para você, eu estou feliz, m-mas certifique-se de assumir a responsabilidade. (ღ˘⌣˘ღ).
I used Mia Khalifa's Pornhub bio as a resume, and it definitely caught the interviewer's attention! They were taken aback by my bold approach and questioned the appropriateness of using such content in a professional context. I did not get the job.
While walking home I went through an alleyway, around the middle of the alley there was a group of five men, who I did not see until if was to late. The threw me (a male) onto the ground and started ripping my clothes off. After my clothes were off, the guys started viciously railing me.
I enjoyed every second of it, then I realized that one of the men looked suspiciously like the guy who interviewed me. As it turns out thats who it was, he later gave me a job offering, not the one that I was trying to get earlier. This one was better.
I would advise everyone to use more bios as resumes.
I live in a low income housing environment that goes by the government name of section 8. Me and a group of my allies control certain areas of this section to run our illegitimate business. We poses unregistered firearms, stolen vehicles, mind altering inhibitors and only use cash or financial purchases. If anyone would like to settle unfinished altercations, I will be more than happy to release my address. I would like to warn you, I am a very dangerous person and I regularly disobey the law.
I live in a low income housing environment that goes by the government name of "Section 8." Me and a group of my allies control certain areas of this section in order to run our illegitimate business. We possess unregistered firearms, stolen vehicles, mind-altering inhibitors and only use cash for financial purchases. If anyone would like to settle unfinished altercations, I will be more than happy to release my address. I would like to warn you; I am a very dangerous person and I regularly disobey the law.
