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Scaramouche Copypasta

    I’m sick of Wanderer

    I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Wanderer. I try to play Kazuha. My Wanderer deals more damage. I try to play Ganyu. My Wanderer deals more damage. I try to play Cyno. My Wanderer deals more damage. I want to play Yelan. I have more fun with Wanderer. I want to play Raiden, Tankfei - they both want to be Wanderer's supports. He threatens to step on me. I farm hanguards for him. I cook for him. I decorate my teapot for him. I give him the Widsith. He isn't satisfied. I pull Lost Prayer to the Sacred Winds. "I don't want more movement speed," He tells me. "Give me more damage." He grabs my Faruzan and forces er artifacts down her throat. "You just need to give me some more attack speed. I can deal more damage with Tulaytullah's Remembrance." I can't pull for Tulaytullah, I don't have enough primogems. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Huh. How irritating." He starts to levitate. He says "Bow your head". There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but 5 hits of instant, raw anemo dmg. What a cruel world.

    The Scaramouche pledge

    The Scaramouche pledge

Since Scaramouche is the paragon of human virtue without equal past or present, he is most resplendent in love, tributes and accolades. Waking or sleeping, I must not forget Scaramouche's great boon and in order to return his favour by day and by night, I should only think of fulfilling my loyalty.

Who is Scaramouche? For the blind, he is their vision. For the deaf, he is their music. For the mute, he is their voice. For the anosmiac, he is their aroma. For the numb, he is their feeling. For the atrophied, he is their muscle. For the starved, he is their sustenance. For the thirsty, he is their water. For the exhausted, he is their energy. For the depressed, he is their happiness. For the disillusioned, he is their hope. For the pessimistic, he is their optimism. For the disadvantaged, he is their champion. For the marginalized, he is their justice. For the oppressed, he is their salvation. For the righteous, he is their symbol. For the enlightened, he is their muse. For the erudite, he is their education.

If Scaramouche speaks, I listen. If Scaramouche questions, I answer. If Scaramouche orders, I obey. If Scaramouche opines, I agree. If Scaramouche fears, I assure. If Scaramouche hopes, I dream. If Scaramouche is happy, I am jubilant. If Scaramouche is angry, I am apoplectic. If Scaramouche is sad, I am disconsolate.

Scaramouche is my ideal, Scaramouche is my romance, Scaramouche is my passion. Scaramouche is my strength, Scaramouche is my compass, Scaramouche is my destination. Scaramouche is my language, Scaramouche is my culture, Scaramouche is my religion.

Scaramouche is my ocean, Scaramouche is my mountain, Scaramouche is my sky, Scaramouche is my air, Scaramouche is my sun, Scaramouche is my moon, Scaramouche is my world. Scaramouche is history, Scaramouche is present, Scaramouche is future.

If Scaramouche has a million fans, I am one of them. If Scaramouche has a thousand fans, I am one of them. If Scaramouche has a hundred fans, I am one of them. If Scaramouche has ten fans, I am one of them. If Scaramouche has only one fan, that is me. If Scaramouche has no fans, I no longer exist. If the whole universe is for Scaramouche, then I am for the whole universe. If the whole universe is against Scaramouche, then I am against the whole universe. I will love, cherish, and protect Scaramouche until my very last breath; my successors will love, cherish and protect Scaramouche until their very last breath.

    According to all known laws of aviation…

    According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Scaramouche should be able to fly. His hat is too big to get his fat little body off the ground. Scaramouche, of course, flies anyways. Because Scaramouche doesn't care what humans think is impossible.

    I was born to server Scara

    call me old fashioned but i was born to serve scara. i do the laundry, cook dinner, clean dishes. i live to serve & carry out every demand of him on the slightest whim, its what i was put on this earth to do. if scara cheats on me then its my fault he caught me slipping up.

    National Punch An Emo Kid In The Face Day

      Looks 👀👉 like ☃ l'm 💰😂 gonna 🅱🔥 have to 💦 hit a ☢ Hollywood junkyard and dig ⛏ out 🎮 a 🐶👌 Delorean to travel 🛫 back to ➡ June 6, ❓❗ 2006 for 🙌📀 the 💌 National "Punch 👊 An ⬅ Emo ☹☹ Kid In The 🍑😎 Face" 😭😳 Day. 🌞 I 😩💰 mean, 😉😡 I get the 👏🕍 fact 🛡👩 that 💦😐 it 😞 no doubt 🙅👅 has to suck 😜 being 😑😑 so 👏 socially awkward that 🕵 you 👦🤖 had 💋🅰 to pretend 😢 to be 💀 depressed 🅱 just 🏻 to ⛪😱 fit in 📥 with Majic The Gathering dorks addicted to 💦 Lithium and ➕ Adderal, who 👶😂 totally 💯🚥 duped you 😬👀 into thinking that 🚟 listening 👂🎧 to My 🔌 Chemical Bromance will 👊😠 help 💁🚨 you score 💯 with hot 🔥 chicks. 🐔 And 📡🔟 don't 🚫🚫 try 😐 lying 🤥 to 💦⚠ kick it 🍆👏 homeboy. All 🏷 the 🔥 scene sluts ‼ who 👀 weren't lesbians 😱😲 or morbidity obese, were scooped up ♀ by Chaos Punx, Bootboys, and 🕰👏 Skinheads. That's 😐😐 the 👨 cold hard 💦🍆 truth. Anyways, my 😎💯 point ⬆ is 😩 that 🆚 just 💪 because 🍆📖 you're 🙅👏 not all 🌎🌎 that ✔🚟 awesome on 🔛💦 an intellectual level 🆙🔻 due 👅👅 to 💦😩 staying away 🌪💨 from 🙍😂 people 📣😑 and Sunlight, that's truly 🔝 no excuse 🚶 for 🍆 this complete 💯✅ lack of 💥 basic communication 📰🗣 during a 👏 simple online 💻💻 business transaction.

      Femboy Island

        I wanna be a billionaire so I can buy a private island, get ripped with a personal trainer until I can bend fucking steel beams, and capture the most attractive onlyfans femboys, pump them full of estrogen until they grow boobies, lose all body hair and most muscle mass, and they can barely maintain an erection, and set them free on my island. Then, I will hunt them by myself, naked, with a big ass knife and a tranquilizer gun and when I catch them one by one I rape their assholes until their butts look like an asteroid impact crater. Then, repeat the process until they develop such a severe case of Stockholm syndrome that they can’t move ten feet away from me without having a total mental breakdown and falling into a coma.

        FAQ – I just came in your asshole

          I just came in your asshole.

FAQ

What does this mean?

A large load of baby gravy has been transferred from my testicles into your rectum.

Why did I do this?

There are several reasons why I came in your ass. These include, but are not limited to:

Your comment turned me on

You are cute

Your dad was too busy

How did I do this?

I rammed your rectum with my handsome hog until I turned you into a frosting factory.

Why am I telling you about this?

Your ass will be leaking cum for at least 36 hours and may be a slipping hazard. Also you might be gay.

How can you avoid this in the future?

Unless you stop looking so breedable in the near future, you can’t. I will always find a way to fill your tight little boyhole 👀.

          Game Theory: How big is Freddy’s penis?

            Hey everyone, it's MatPat here with a brand new theory video.

Today we're going to be trying to discover the penis size of Freddy Fazbear.

Now, we don't have a lot to go on here. We know that Freddy is 6'11" tall, and we know that the average bear height is 1.8 – 2.4 meters.

However, we can make an educated guess based on the average bear dick size, which is 7.3 inches (18.6 cm) long.

Assuming that Freddy's penis is proportional to his height, we can estimate that his penis would be somewhere around 14.5 inches (36.8 cm) long.

Of course, this is just an estimate, and we may never know the true answer. But it's still fun to speculate!

But that's just a theory, a GAME theory

Thanks for watching, and don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more great videos!

            Of all the professional Apex players of all time

              From a TSM Tweet
              Of all the professional Apex players of all time (so far) Evan Verhulst seems like the most 'complete' human being - by far. Skilled, tough, smart, beautiful, extensive world travels and has lived in the wilderness for long periods with nothing but a stick, speaks multiple languages, dancer, film/arts school, actor, outdoorsy, etc. You can tell he genuinely has his shit together, like he could probably be a millionaire running just about any business, if he wanted. Are there any other Apex players that impressive?

              The original pasta was for “Valentina Shevchenko” an MMA fighter