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PSA: People who still drink Starbucks in NYC are the worst

    As a born and raised New Yorker, I don’t understand how anyone in NYC, the coffee capital of the world, still chooses Starbucks when we’re literally surrounded by the best independent coffee shops in the universe. Are you fucking kidding me bro?! There’s literally hand-poured, single-origin beans roasted by someone’s uncle in the back of a Brooklyn warehouse, and you’re gonna opt for a soulless corporate chain? How basic can you get?
    
    Do you even care about supporting small businesses? Or do you just enjoy being a cog in the capitalist machine, getting your watered-down PSL with three pumps of sugar while pretending to live a “New York life”? And don’t get me started on the lack of creativity. “Oh, look at me, I’m holding a Starbucks cup, I’m soooo New York.” No, you’re not. You’re just lazy.
    
    If you’re paying $6 for a cup of coffee, at least give it to the places where the baristas know your order AND your name. Seriously, go to any corner in Bushwick, the coffee shops have actual culture. Meanwhile, Starbucks’ “baristas” are misspelling your name on purpose.
    
    EDIT: First time posting on circle jerk ny & I’m so proud of myself cause I really got a bunch of you thinking I’m dead serious. Using this as evidence for my claim that media literacy should be a required course before students graduate cause some of yall are dumb as hell lmaooo.

    Is That a JoJo Reference?

      This is the original “IS THAT A MFING X REFERENCE???” which is about JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure (JJBA) part 4.

      ‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊👊👊👊 ORAORAORAORAORALORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 😩😩😩😩 MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Oh you’re approaching me❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓But it was me, Dio‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
      ‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE‼️⁉️‼️⁉️⁉️⁉️‼️😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯 JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS😎😎😎😎 ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA🫵🫵🫵🫵 MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA🤬🤬😡🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡 WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YO ANGELO 🗿YO ANGELO 🗿YO ANGELO 🗿YO ANGELO 🗿YO ANGELO 🗿 YARE YARE DAZE YARE YARE DAZE YARE YARE DAZE 🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙 NIGERUNDAYOOOOO 🏃🏃NIGERUNDAYO🏃 NIGERUNDAYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO🏃🏃🏃NIGERUNDAYOOOOO 🏃🏃DORARARARARARARARARARARA🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢SHIZAAAAA✝️🪨🪨SHIZAAAAAAAAAAAA✝️✝️🪨🪨🪨🪨 KONO GIORNO GIOVANNA YUME GA ARU☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️MADE IN HEAVEN💿💿💿🌫️🌫️🌫️MADE IN HEAVEN💿💿💿🌫️🌫️🌫️BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN🪕🪕🪕BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN🪕🪕ZA WARUDO⛔⛔🕒🕒ZA WARUDO⛔⛔⛔✋✋✋ARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARI ARRIVEDERCI😎😎👋👋👋VOLAVOLAVOLAVOLAVOLAVOLAVOLAVOLA VOLARE VIA🌫️🌫️🛩️🛩️🛩️MY NAME IS KIRA YOSHIKAGE AND I LIVE IN THE NORTHEAST SECTION OF MORIOH🌇🌇🌇STAR PLATINUM⭐🌟😫😫😫🤯🤯 

      This is a lighthouse. Your call.

        The lighthouse aka I'm a lighthouse copypasta

        The lighthouse joke/copypasta is a popular story between a self-entitled U.S. Navy aircraft carrier and a lighthouse. It has been proven to be fake by the Navy themselves and its a popular joke or tale dating all the way back to 1930s.

        ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.
        
        Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."
        
        Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."
        
        Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."
        
        Canadians: "No, I say again, you divert YOUR course."
        
        Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."
        
        Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call." 

        Porra infinita

          Its the Brazilian version of ‘Infinite Cum‘ copypasta.

          Porra infinita. Você se senta no vaso sanitário para se masturbar, mas começa a gozar incontrolavelmente. Depois de dez jorradas você começa a se preocupar. Sua mão está pegajosa e cheira a sêmen. Você enfia seu pau desesperadamente em um pedaço de papel higiênico, mas isso só faz suas bolas doerem. O esperma acelera. Já se passaram três minutos. Você não para de gozar. O chão do banheiro está coberto por uma fina camada de fluido de bebês. Você tenta gozar no ralo do chuveiro, mas ele enche muito rápido. Você tenta a privada. O esperma é muito grosso para dar descarga. Você tranca a porta do banheiro para evitar que o esperma escape. O ar fica quente e úmido com o esperma. O esperma acelera. Você escorrega e cai em seu próprio esperma. O esperma agora tem quinze centímetros de profundidade, quase tão longo quanto sua mangueira de sêmen ainda ereta. Esparramado de costas, você começa a gozar no teto. Gosmas do fluido branco pegajoso começam a cair como gotas de chuva, proporcionando uma gozada facial com seu próprio esperma. O esperma acelera. Você luta para ficar de pé enquanto a força do esperma começa a impulsioná-lo para trás, como se você estivesse num escorregador com o tema bukkake. Ainda de joelhos, o esperma agora está na altura do queixo. Para evitar afogamento você abre a porta do banheiro. O dilúvio de suco humano lembra a Grande Inundação de Melaço de 1919, só que com esperma em vez de melaço. O esperma acelera. Duas horas se passaram. Seus filhos e sua esposa gritam de terror enquanto seus corpos são engolfados pela lama branca como a neve. Seu filho mais novo afunda, com bolhas viscosas e gritos abafados saindo da gosma. Você implora a Deus para acabar com seu sofrimento. O esperma acelera. Você aperta seu pau para parar o esperma. Ele começa a vazar pelo seu cu. 

          PRESENCIEI UM CASAL MUITO ESTRANHO

            Its a spinoff of the original story ‘VI MINHA AMIGA TRANSANOD‘ following the POV of the bartender who witnessed the date.

            Trabalho como bartender e já vi de tudo, , madrugada é um circo que vocês não tem noção, , mas eu presenciei um encontro que nunca imaginei nem na minha pior embriaguez...
            
            Expediente começou normal, , um ou outro moleque pagando de bom querendo beber mais que monza tubarão, , menininha de faculdade que o pai acha que tá estudando aqui me dando mole pra ver se ganha drink de graça, , normal.
            
            Mas meu irmão, que merda foi aquela? Um maluco que parecia uma versão raquitica do moleque do ratatui senta numa mesa e pede duas cervejas porque tá esperando uma menina pra um encontro, ,beleza, ok,, passaram-se 20 minutos e chega uma menina com uma mochila estilo alpinista, daquelas que pegam as costas inteiras da pessoa e mais um pouco...
            
            MERMÃO, ,A MULHER ME TIRA UMA MENINA COTOCA DE DENTRO DA MOCHILA.
            
            Não era uma anã ou uma criança, , era uma mulher sem braço nem perna
            
            Não bastasse, não sei de onde caralhos, ela pede pro meu colega uma CADEIRINHA DE CRIANÇA, NUMA BAR?! E o desgraçado conseguiu
            
            Dai pro resto da noite não consegui mais prestar atenção em nada, um maluco estranho dando caipiroska na boca de uma mina sem membros enquanto a amiga mestre pokémon observava de perto,
            
            E o pior, eu acho que depois disso eles sairam pra um menage, porque o carro meteu a a cotoca no braço, levou ela e a amiga pro uninho e meteu bala
            
            que noite!

            I WITNESSED A VERY STRANGE COUPLE

            I work as a bartender and I've seen it all, the early morning is a circus you have no idea about, but I witnessed a meeting I never imagined even when I was drunk...
            
            The workday started out normal, with some kid pretending to be cool and wanting to drink more than Monza Tubarão, a college girl whose dad thinks she's studying here flirting with me to see if she can get a free drink, normal.
            
            But my brother, what the hell was that? A crazy guy who looked like a rickety version of the kid from Ratatouille sits at a table and orders two beers because he's waiting for a girl to go on a date, okay, ok, 20 minutes passed and a girl arrives with a mountaineering-style backpack, the kind that takes up the person's entire back and then some...
            
            BRUNETTE, THE WOMAN TAKES A GIRL OUT OF MY BACKPACK.
            
            It wasn't a dwarf or a child, it was a woman with no arms or legs
            
            As if that wasn't enough, I don't know where the fuck she came from, she asked my friend for a CHILD SEAT, IN A BAR?! And the bastard got it
            
            From then on, for the rest of the night, I couldn't pay attention to anything, a strange crazy guy giving caipiroska to a girl with no limbs while her friend, the Pokémon master, watched closely,
            
            And the worst part, I think after that they went out for a threesome, because the car hit her in the arm, took her and her friend to the club and started shooting
            
            What a night!

            I saw Frye from Deep Cut at a Mako Mart yesterday.

              Frye Onaga copypasta

              Parody of the Flying Lotus copypasta but changed into Frye from Splatoon.

              I saw Frye Onaga at a Mako Mart in Splatsville yesterday. I told her how fresh it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a stockfish and bother her and ask for photos or anything.
              She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
              I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw Frye trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen frozen shwaffles in her arms without paying.
              The jellyfish at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Miss, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to not understand jellyfish language, but eventually turned back around and brought the shwaffles to the counter.
              
              When they took one of the shwaffles and started scanning it multiple times, she stopped them and told them to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After they scanned each shwaffle and put them in a bag and started to say the price, she kept interrupting them by yawning really loudly.
              
              Did anyone else have such weird encounters with an idol?