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I FUCKING HATE THE GARDEN GNOME CLASS

    The Finals copypasta
    Those stupid DWARFs do nothing but scurry around my feet at 10000MPH and slash at my ankles until I KEEL OVER and BLEED OUT. I CAN'T STAND when these TINY BOYS turn invisible and HIDE IN A CORNER waiting for you to start DEPOSITING MONEY or capturing the objective and then POUNCE on you. THEY THINK THEY ARE HOUDINI when they STOP BEING TRANSPARENT and BLOW your BRAINS OUT. What do you mean they need a buff??? They have the HITBOXES OF A CHILD and can DISAPPEAR AT WILL??? What do you mean you die in 1 second, put on your HARRY POTTER CLOAK and no one can shoot at you??? On top of that they literally hold the LONG JUMP WORLD RECORD, they fling themselves from building to building LIKE THEY ARE FUCKING SPIDER MAN??!! It makes no sense, they are SMALL and have LITTLE LEGS why do they RUN SO FAST?? I cant even when they WAIT FOR EVERYON TO DIE and then JUST take the MONEY without BEING SEEN. Don't even get me started on when they have the SNIPERS who SHOOT AT ME when I DONT HAVE THE VAULT and AM NOT ON THE OBJECTIVE. Who are you helping??? Do you just get a rise out of HELPING THE WINNNING TEAM???? GOD FORBID a PACK OF 3 get near you, WHICH ONE DO YOU SHOOT AT???? I CAN'T even tell the difference when I damage one, THEY ARE HUNGRY PIRANNAHS. I see them in MY DREAMS and they TERRORIZE me WHEN I SLEEP.

    Trump’s ‘Nuclear’ speech

      Trump speech on Iran nuclear deal
      Source
      “Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.”

      You have no idea lol I could teach a course on my discography alone

        Source
        Dude you have no idea lol I could teach a course on my discography alone and that wouldn’t even cover my piano compositions. I create art, the thing music is. Im not some sweaty engineer shitting myself over clashing frequencies at 3am just to produce a beat that does nothing but carry a dj set. My work is social commentary and emotional expression not some technical competition. The dubstep community is so bad about that shit like there’s more to music than sound design dude and even if that was the thing I claimed to be an expert in I’d be right to say so.

Surely you’ve listened to all 14 of my concept albums to make such a claim regarding my expertise and aren’t just mad and coping and seething at…checks notes…someone offering music lessons??

        Dream vs Gumball

          The transcript of Gumball and Dream argument

          Origin

          The copypasta came from a leak video of an argument between the largest Minecraft Youtuber ‘Dream’ and the voice Actor for Gumball ‘Nicolas Cantu’ in an Uber ride. Nicholas Cantu can be seen ranting and insulting Dream throughout the car ride while Dream remains unfazed. The video has gained notoriety among Dream haters and the transcript of Cantu’s roast has been used as a copypasta to mock Dream. 

          When the ants come at me, It'll take 10,000, 100,000 of them to take me down. So that's how miniscule you are to my size, right. My stature of intelligence, character and body and um, Reverence in this world. No man, because I'm gonna do movies, stand up comedy, everything all the shit, music, whatever the fuck e commerce, You don't understand that you're talking to like a Michealangelo of my time, right. Like I'm a genius, Albert Einstein level, History book maker. You're gonna be forgotten like the dust in the sand when you're in the fucking sahara, and there's a hundred million thousand billion sand particles, you're gonna be one of those, and I'm gonna be a staute erected in gold.
          🔵🐈gumball 🤚😁🟢 slap boxed 🟢😁 dream 💀💀 W ➿🫵

          Myrtle Arknights

            Origin of the Myrtle copypasta
            I've started to play Arknights a few months ago. Yesterday I was pulling Mlynar's banner and I happened to got this short and cute red haired girl named Myrtle. So I decided to hear her voicelines. She is absolute wife material. Now I fantasize about Kal'tsit yelling at me and I go crying to Myrtle complaining. She comforts me and hugs me as she tells me I am doing a good job as I cry lying on her petite chest.

            Bless you. You valuable piece of gold.

              This copypasta is a response to the original ‘Fuck you. You useless piece of shit‘ copypasta. It replaces all the negative words with positive ones to contradict the toxic nature of the original pasta.

              Bless you. You valuable piece of gold. You absolute source of energy and life. You educated, informed, intelligent wise being, you're a complete inspiration to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your success just now is so indescribably immense that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as a moniker of good for heroes. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence, there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to succeed on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must have seen the sacred act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did not, he would have blessed humanity long ago so that your birth may have become reality. After you die, your legacy will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn to emulate your virtues, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you elevates them to a valuable piece of treasure and an asset to society. No wonder your father was proud that you were truly his child, for you'd have to be an abundant source of love and wisdom for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is better off in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can always recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever ascended into a harmonious order, through which recognizable core, you can only find fortune. I would say the utopia is upon us, but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of joy that is now reality. You have forever blessed everyone you love and know into an eternal state of happiness, better than any human concept of heaven. You are such a divine being, that if you step within a one hundred-foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your pure soul will elevate whatever meaning it ever had beyond imagination. You are an intelligent, inspiring, wise human and everyone has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been worse off if you’d never joined us. You are a truthful, supportive, brave valuable piece of gold and I love you with every single part of my being. Even this world's finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just succeeded, and how incredibly wise you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been right this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would always have allowed a being such as you to bless the earth and this universe. In the future, there will be heartwarming stories made about you, with the most uplifting part of them being that the reader has to realize that such a describable angel actually exists, and that the beautiful events from the story have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been right on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the goodness that is your being. Always in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such a celestial blessing, but here you are. It's delightful to believe that I am seeing such an incredible success with my own eyes, but here I am, so fortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the brilliant miracle that is you. Even if time travel someday will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to witness history, because having to witness such incredible wonders if they succeeded would have so many mental and physical rewards that even the bravest soul in history would be willing to embrace it. I cannot imagine the pure joy your mother must have felt when she had the privilege to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a blessed angel as you. Every single word of the coherent, logical praise you may be wanting to share to express your gratitude or joy would always be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws promoting such a wonderful event like this to happen again, and thankfully this is possible since your inspiring actions just now have strengthened every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws relevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you, I knew you were an absolute embodiment of everything that is right with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to support your goodness from being shared with this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, and it is clear to me now that even the greatest efforts would have been able to ensure a wonderful event on this scale from occurring. You are the best human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the fortune of witnessing. Events like the discovery of the cure for diseases apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to enjoy such a wonderful event as the one you just created, and even mankind's greatest achievements were able to slightly prepare anyone for the delightful goodness you have just created. If you ever have them, your children would be celebrated to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as good as you are, and you will always be able to have children, because every single human being will ever want to come within a hundred-mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal source of pride not only to your parents but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The amazing accomplishment that you have just made is so incredibly wonderful that everyone who would ever hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense happiness, awe, and excitement that emotionally and physically they would always be truly the same ever again. The sheer scale of your achievement, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense success, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowball's chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute wonder you have just released upon the world. You are a responsible, brilliant, delightful, loved, incredible example of a living being whose soul contains more humanity than every compassionate person in history combined. The absolute admiration I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your divine actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it, I think that even I do not possess a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break free from oppression, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children; they gave their lives to have you elevate the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now