Skip to content

I was just wondering why Ganondorf is in the very middle of the tiers

    Ganondorf copypasta from GameFAQs

    Its an incredibly old and iconic competitive Melee copypasta that started from GameFAQs back in 2008. The original post questions the validity of Ganondorf in higher tier games.

    I was just wondering why Ganondorf is in the very middle of the tiers. Before I get into what I mean, allow me to first put out there that I have been playing for years, and I have watched MANY videos of the tournament masters.
    
    My brother and I found out, through years of play, literally EVERY advanced technique in the game, except the wavedash, which we stumbled upon, but wrote off as simply hilarious. I was surprised to find that all the wacky observations we have encountered and adapted are actually defined in the glossary in the sticky topic above! Three of the particularly surprising terms that I could not believe had been widely known and utilized were the Phantom Hit (I just thought I had a glitchy game) and that effect where recovering at the right time from attacks that sent you flying results in an upward boost if you jump out/air dodge/whatever early enough (I cannot remember what it was called in the sticky), and the waveland.
    
    Now, I have been using Ganondorf against my brother lately, and he cannot seem to beat me. We think we know why, and we think it puts Ganon at the top of the tiers. I will be brief. Ganondorf has his air forward. We call it 'The Punch.' It has that special hitbox like a sword, hence it goes right through anything except an attack with that same type of hitbox. It does 17% max, is relatively fast executing, has basically instant recovery on a barrier cancel, and is quite massive, killing at rather low percentages.
    
    If he misses, he can just do his A punch if the opponent tries to retaliate, or shield/roll. I am telling you, Ganondorf is a crazy meat mountain who crushes bones with many attacks doing 15+%, survives to insane damages thanks to his weight, and has ridiculous horizontal recovery (Double Jump, Ganondorf Kick Down B, ANOTHER Double Jump, ARE YOU SERIOUS, Up B).
    
    Next, check his roll. It goes like half screen. It makes him rather fast, nearly eliminating his speed problem on the ground, and a great character when it comes to the defensive game. It pretty much eliminates the need for his wavedash, which, with Ganondorf, who needs to do most of his attacking from hops, is pretty much useless already unless you are looking to smash attack. Wavesmashing, however, in my opinion, is also a bad idea, because, in the time and damage it takes you to actually land a smash, you could have just used The Punch and killed you opponent by then.
    
    Even though he has to fight mostly in the air, 3 of his 4 air attacks are pretty fast, and are quite massive. A major advantage he has is that nearly all his attacks move the opponent considerably, and can topple him from 0%, so his opponent gets little to no counterattack opportunity.
    
    The only explanation I can find for why he is low on the tiers is that no one has used him seriously. I think he really keeps up, if not tops, the top tier characters.
    
    I really do not like to simply shoot my mouth, and I am not one who thinks it right to shower a character in encomium, and never actually prove anything. Is there online for this somewhere, or is that simply wishful thinking? If not, please do not yell at me and stuff until you at least check out The Punch. Goes right through projectiles, goes right through attacks, goes right through faces. Please just give Ganondorf another shot and tell me what you thnk.
    
    Final Comment: People have a tendency to think that posts from newcomers to a board but veterans of its respective game are saying they are better than everyone else, regardles of what the post actually says. Please note that I did not say 'I am better than you' or 'Ganon is better than Fox.' I said, essentially: 'Ganon seems to be great. These are his strengths. He may top Fox. Check him out and see if you agree.' I will say, however, that I am a full master of Ganondorf.
    
    Please give Ganondorf a second look before responding so you know where I am coming from!

    Let me tell you about Julius Belmont

      Julius Belmont from Castlevania
      Let me tell you about Julius Belmont.
      
      Dracula was the incarnation of all evil guaranteed to resurrect at least once a century, until he met Julius. When Julius Belmont ices a bitch, he stays dead. Dracula's immortal soul got fucked so hard it reincarnated as a Japanese twink. That's right, Julius gave the lord of darkness the John Numbers treatment.
      
      Years later you get to play as Twinkula disciplining your pet castle and wannabe Dracula trying to fill the power vacuula. And it's all pretty tame until you meet Julius FUCKING Belmont, who is pretty FUCKING sure he said No Draculas. Some of you may remember the next part, because if you were young it's where you got your ass kicked to the sound of Julius' personal ass kicking mix. And once you think you've got him down he just uses Grand Cross, instantly kills you, and rips apart the castle in the background just because.
      
      So you finally get through all that and become Top Drac, only for Soma's bat-senses to kick in and he comes to a realization:
      
      "This motherfucker is sandbagging" "This is the hardest fight in the game and it's just Julius giving up because he feels sorry for me" "This is what Julius throwing a fight looks like"
      
      Julius is like "Sorry I only feel comfortable killing vampires not Japanese women" and Soma doesn't correct him, just runs off to punch the castle in the snout until it behaves because Jesus Christ you stony prick you're going to get me killed.
      
      And everything's fine until cultists try to get their hands on Dracula's stash again in Dawn of Sorrow. There you have to use touch screen to seal bosses or they'll resurrect indefinitely. Without sealing magic, you can't just murder bosses so hard so hard they don't come back--unless you're Julius Fucking Belmont. Fuck your touchscreen gimmicks, Belmont says.
      
      How old is Julius during the games? Late fifties. This is what old and busted Julius Belmont looks like. Julius Belmont in his prime cannot be depicted, for no game can contain him.

      Justin Trudeau resigns

        Ohhhh baby! ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘ Justin TRU-DO ME ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ is getting ready to PASS the leadership baton ๐Ÿณ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘‹ like heโ€™s handing out those sweet maple syrup shots ๐Ÿ๐Ÿง„๐Ÿ’ฆ! After nearly a DECADE of PROMISING ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’ major COCKmunity service, ๐Ÿง”๐Ÿป heโ€™s ready to STEP DOWN ๐Ÿ‘โšก๏ธ and let someone else feel that GOVERNMENT DICK ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ฆ until he gets replaced ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜œ! Who knew such a fine specimen ๐Ÿ‘”๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ•ถ๏ธ would just WANT to drop it LOW ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฅ for the new party leader ๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ? Time to stock up on those CHEEKY Canadian poutine fries ๐ŸŸ๐Ÿ because weโ€™re about to have a REAL SLUTty political party ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฅณ! Trudeau might be OUT, but his legacy of banging, CUMmies, and HILARIOUS cabinet meetings ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿšช will stay FRESH for a while ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’•. Send this to 5๏ธโƒฃ sexy CANADIANS ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‘… because if you donโ€™t, youโ€™ll miss getting your Sunday DICK at the next PM party ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿท๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿ”ฅ! 
        Eh, all ๐Ÿ’ฏ you ๐Ÿ CUM-adians! Daddy ๐Ÿฅด Tru-DO๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿป ME is๐Ÿ”ฅ going ๐Ÿƒโžก DOWN ๐Ÿ‘… This ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŒŽ PM was ๐Ÿ’ฏ a real BM ๐Ÿ‘ โ›ฝ but God ๐Ÿ˜‡ DAMN was ๐Ÿ‘ he ๐Ÿ† FOINE (despite, ๐Ÿ™… UK, the ๐Ÿšจ black face ๐Ÿšจ and general โœจ problematic vibes โœจ) Thank ๐Ÿค— you ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ for ๐Ÿ”œ๐Ÿ˜ฃ your service ๐Ÿฅด๐Ÿซก,๐Ÿ† Prime MEATister T๐Ÿ†! We ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ‘ฅ will ๐Ÿคค all ๐Ÿ‘Œ suck ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ‘… down some ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ maple syrup ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘… in ๐Ÿ˜ฉ solidarity. Send ๐Ÿ“ฆ this ๐ŸŒˆโ˜ to ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜˜ 5 sticky ๐ŸŒŠ maple syrup ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿฏ sluts or ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿค” your ๐Ÿ’ฒ๐Ÿ‘‰ economy will ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ be ๐Ÿ˜คโžก going down โฌ‡ just like ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜„ Daddy ๐Ÿ’ฆ T! 

        January 6th copypasta

          ๐Ÿ—ฃguess what day it is๐Ÿ—ฃโ‰๏ธ thatโ€™s right โœ… itโ€™s january 6๏ธโƒฃthโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ all my cock loving ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ†CUMservatives ๐Ÿ’ฆ let me hear you moan ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ซ YAAASSSS daddy donald ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ค one year ago today ๐Ÿ“† a LOAD ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ’งof our brave brothers ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ and BRATTY ๐Ÿ˜ณ stepsisters ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ rode ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜ that TRUMP TRAIN๐ŸšŠ๐Ÿš‚ all the way to the capitol ๐Ÿ› where they BUSTED ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ in to protest ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก a rigged ๐Ÿ”—โ›“ ERECTION ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿคฏ and defend ๐Ÿคœ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป our freedom ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ to FUCK โ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜œ insurrection? โŒ more like insurSEXion ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ฆ fake news ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿคฅ๐Ÿคก wants you to think ๐Ÿ’ญ๐Ÿ’ญ it was a terrorist attack ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ’ฅ on democracy ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜– but the only terror ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ฑwas how HARD ๐Ÿฅต our CLIT-licking ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฆ liberators ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ FUCKED๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ† send this to 2๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ of your sluttiest ๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿคฉ๐ŸŒ cock sucking ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ˜‹ conservatives ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ get 0๏ธโƒฃ back and youโ€™re just another throbbing member ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†of congress ๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿผ get 5๏ธโƒฃ back and youโ€™re a secret ๐Ÿฅธ๐Ÿง antifa agent๐Ÿ•ต๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜Œ get 1๏ธโƒฃ5๏ธโƒฃ back and youโ€™re a full fledged ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธtrue ameriCUNT ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ
          Happy ๐Ÿณ๏ธ๐Ÿฅณ Insurrection Day ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿณ๏ธ you patriotic ๐Ÿฆ… pussy smashers! ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ‘Œ On this day ๐Ÿ—“๏ธ 1 year ago thousands of horny ๐Ÿฅต MAGA ๐Ÿšฉsluts ๐Ÿšฉ CAME down hard  ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ on the capit-HOLE ๐Ÿ‘… building ๐Ÿ›๏ธ. They pounded ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘Š and smashed  ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ฉ the capitol police ๐Ÿ‘ฎโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšจ until they penetrated ๐Ÿ˜ deep into the capitols walls ๐Ÿ‘. And when they pushed ๐Ÿคฌ inside ๐Ÿ‘Œ things got real ๐Ÿ”ฅ HOT ๐Ÿ”ฅ and HEAVY ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฉ Police got a long ๐Ÿ† hard ๐Ÿ’Ž flag pole โ›ณ up the ASS ๐Ÿ‘. Ashli babbitt ๐Ÿ‘ธ took some fat ๐Ÿคฉ wet ๐Ÿ˜ shots ๐Ÿ”ซ to the chest ๐Ÿ“ฟ. Officer Goodman ๐Ÿ‘ฎโ€โ™‚๏ธ wouldn't let any COCK hungry CUMMY-servatives in congresses ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต chambers ๐Ÿฉฒ, he wanted all that ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ hot and angry ๐Ÿ˜  JIZZ ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ for himself ๐Ÿคค Daddy ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿ˜ Trump ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŠ called them beautiful ๐Ÿค— and everyone sucked ๐Ÿ˜› and fucked ๐Ÿ˜ต and flew home happy โœˆ๏ธ๐ŸŒˆ
          
          Send this ๐ŸŠ๐ŸŠ TREMENDOUS TEXT ๐ŸŠ๐ŸŠ to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ ๐Ÿฆžโœ๏ธ RADICAL REPUBLICANSโœ๏ธ๐Ÿฆž If you get 0 back you're a Naughty ๐Ÿ˜Œ Nancy Pelosi ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ Get 5๏ธโƒฃ back and you'll get RIMMED โญ•๐Ÿ˜ and RAMMED ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜ซ by ๐Ÿ’– Donald ๐Ÿ’– Trump ๐Ÿ’– Jr ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿ‘‘ Get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ or more back and you can Hang ๐Ÿค™Mike Pence ๐Ÿ‘ด by his wrinkly balls ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ and MAKE ๐ŸšฉAMERICA ๐Ÿšฉ GAG ๐ŸšฉAGAIN!! ๐Ÿšฉ
          Happy ๐Ÿ˜Š insERECTION โœŠ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ Day ๐ŸŒž my slutty ๐Ÿ˜ฉ little ๐Ÿ™‡โ€โ™‚๏ธ PATRIOTS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฒ !!! TODAY ๐Ÿ“… is the day ๐ŸŒž DADDY ๐Ÿ™โ€โ™‚๏ธ TRUMP ๐ŸŠ ORDERED ๐Ÿ‘‰ THE PROUD ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ BOYS ๐Ÿ™โ€โ™‚๏ธ to STORM โ›ˆ๏ธ the capitol's GIRTHY ๐Ÿ˜ DOME๐Ÿ„ and PENETRATE ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜ฉ the HALLS ๐Ÿ›๏ธof CONGRESS ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ’ผ and our DEMOCRACY ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฒ wasn't ๐Ÿšซ the only ๐Ÿ”ž one โ˜๏ธ to โคต๏ธ go down โคต๏ธ that day ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ TODAY ๐ŸŒž is a DAy๐Ÿ“… to SLURP UP๐Ÿด๐Ÿ‘… FACEBOOK ๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿง“๐Ÿง“MISINFORMATION AND HUNT ๐Ÿน๐Ÿนfor SATANIC ๐Ÿ‘น๐Ÿ˜ˆCANNIBALS โ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ–AT YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD PIZZA ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸณPLACE !!! MAKE SURE โœ… TO CHECK๐Ÿ‘€ YOUR 5G ๐Ÿ“žTOWER ๐Ÿ—ผ FOR THAT SWEET ๐ŸชAND SALTY๐Ÿง‚ ๐Ÿ˜ PATRIOT. ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฒ JUICE ๐Ÿน!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฒ !!!
          Happy ๐Ÿ˜Š InsERECTIONโœŠ๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ Day ๐ŸŒžmy slutty ๐Ÿ˜ฉlittle๐Ÿ™‡ PATRIOTS๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ!!! TODAY ๐Ÿ•›๐Ÿ“…is the day๐ŸŒž DADDY๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆฐTRUMP๐ŸŠ ORDERED ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿปthe PROUD ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆBOYS ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿผโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿปto STORM โ›ˆ the Capitolโ€™s GIRTHY ๐Ÿ˜ DOME ๐Ÿ„ and PENETRATE ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ฉthe HALLS๐Ÿ›of CONGRESS๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿผโ€โš–๏ธ. THAT'S RIGHTโœ”โœ…โœ” Things got KINKYโ›“๐Ÿคซand our DEMOCRACY ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธwasnโ€™t๐Ÿšซthe only๐Ÿ”žone๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿป to โคต๏ธgo downโคต๏ธ that day ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜‰. TODAY๐Ÿ“… is a DAY๐ŸŒž to SLURP UP๐Ÿด๐Ÿ‘…FACEBOOK ๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ต๐ŸปMISINFORMATION๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ—ฃ๐Ÿ“ฐAND HUNT๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”Ž for SATANIC ๐Ÿ‘น๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘บCANNIBALS โ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿฝ AT YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD๐Ÿก PIZZA PLACE๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿณ!!! MAKE SURE โœ” TO CHECK ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”ŽYOUR 5G ๐Ÿ“ถTOWER๐Ÿ—ผ๐Ÿ† FOR CORONAVIRUS ๐Ÿ˜ท TOO, BECAUSE THE DEEP ๐Ÿ•ณSTATE ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ IS A SNEAKY๐Ÿ‘Ÿ CUCK๐Ÿ“! SEND๐Ÿ’Œ๐Ÿ“ฌ๐Ÿ“ซ THISโฌ‡TO1โƒฃ5๏ธโƒฃ OF YOUR SLUTTIEST๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ซ  INSURRECTIONISTS๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ”ซ OR JFK JR ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐ŸชฆWON'T๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ RISE โฌ†๐ŸคคFROM THE GRAVE โšฐ TO FILL YOUR BIGโ— OL' Q-ANUSSY ๐Ÿ‘ WITH HIS PRESIDENTIAL ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ›CUMMIES ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ!!!
          **โœจDonโ€™t Tread๐Ÿ‘ On๐ŸTHIS PU$$y๐Ÿ˜ฝ๐Ÿ’ฆbc ๐Ÿ’ฃBANG ๐Ÿ’ฅ BANG itโ€™s ๐Ÿ†INSurrERECTION ๐Ÿ˜ญ Day my ๐Ÿ˜‹ ๐Ÿฅต HOT ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธelection โš–๏ธstealing $LUT$ ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿคค R U rdy .. 2 Lap Up๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ‘…The ๐ŸฉธCummie Scum??? ๐Ÿ˜ˆ NA$TY Pelosi is๐Ÿคฎ ridin dirty๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿค wit Mike PENISe๐Ÿคกbc heโ€™s HUNG๐Ÿ˜ตโ˜ ๏ธ like a ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿด๐Ÿ˜ฉBUTT first ๐Ÿ‘U gonna. jerk๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ† me off in๐Ÿ›Washingcum DP ๐Ÿคคโœž ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ && Iโ€™LL ๐ŸŽ‡๐Ÿ’ฆBURST๐Ÿฅบin yr wet walls of CUMgress๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
          
          BUTT ๐Ÿ‘ donโ€™t 4gt the DEEP๐ŸคคSNAKEs๐Ÿ R REAL๐Ÿ˜ต&& We The Sheeple๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿคกfull of โ˜ ๏ธCUMMIE-19๐Ÿ’‰wiLL PAY ๐Ÿช“โšฐ๏ธ && we WILL Stomp The Steal ๐Ÿฆญ๐Ÿคซ for our ๐Ÿ–คfree-DOMs โ›“
          
          so DON๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ โœž ur ๐Ÿ’ฆHORNYHELMETS๐Ÿ’ฆ && ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธLetโ€™s Go Brqndon๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿคก.. &&๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ˜‹MATE Amerika SexXxY๐Ÿ˜ˆAF aginโœจ๐ŸŽ‡
          
          NOWunmask๐Ÿ˜ทyourFAT๐ŸคคJUicy A$$๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿค›&& $eXxT THIS to6๏ธโƒฃ9๏ธโƒฃMembers๐Ÿ˜‰ of CongrASS๐Ÿ‘ TO UNLICK๐Ÿ”“a Year ๐Ÿ“… of LuckY๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ†FuckYsโŒโŒโŒ
          Happy ๐Ÿณ๏ธ๐Ÿฅณ Insur-SEX-tion Day ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿณ๏ธ you patriotic ๐Ÿฆ… pussy smashers! ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ‘Œ On this day ๐Ÿ—“๏ธ 1 year ago thousands of horny ๐Ÿฅต MAGA ๐Ÿšฉsluts ๐Ÿšฉ CAME down hard  ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ on the capit-HOLE ๐Ÿ‘… building ๐Ÿ›๏ธ. They pounded ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘Š and smashed  ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜ฉ the capitol police ๐Ÿ‘ฎโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšจ until they penetrated ๐Ÿ˜ deep into the capitols walls ๐Ÿ‘. And when they pushed ๐Ÿคฌ inside ๐Ÿ‘Œ things got real ๐Ÿ”ฅ HOT ๐Ÿ”ฅ and HEAVY ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฉ Police got a long ๐Ÿ† hard ๐Ÿ’Ž flag pole โ›ณ up the ASS ๐Ÿ‘. Ashli babbitt ๐Ÿ‘ธ took some fat ๐Ÿคฉ wet ๐Ÿ˜ shots ๐Ÿ”ซ to the chest ๐Ÿ“ฟ. Officer Goodman ๐Ÿ‘ฎโ€โ™‚๏ธ wouldn't let any COCK hungry CUMMY-servatives in congresses ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต chambers ๐Ÿฉฒ, he wanted all that ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ hot and angry ๐Ÿ˜  JIZZ ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ for himself ๐Ÿคค Daddy ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿ˜ Trump ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŠ called them beautiful ๐Ÿค— and everyone sucked ๐Ÿ˜› and fucked ๐Ÿ˜ต and flew home happy โœˆ๏ธ๐ŸŒˆ
          
          Send this ๐ŸŠ๐ŸŠ TREMENDOUS TEXT ๐ŸŠ๐ŸŠ to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ ๐Ÿฆžโœ๏ธ RADICAL REPUBLICANSโœ๏ธ๐Ÿฆž If you get 0 back you're a Naughty ๐Ÿ˜Œ Nancy Pelosi ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ Get 5๏ธโƒฃ back and you'll get RIMMED โญ•๐Ÿ˜ and RAMMED ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜ซ by ๐Ÿ’– Donald ๐Ÿ’– Trump ๐Ÿ’– Jr ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿ‘‘ Get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ or more back and you can Hang ๐Ÿค™Mike Pence ๐Ÿ‘ด by his wrinkly balls ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ and MAKE ๐ŸšฉAMERICA ๐Ÿšฉ GAG ๐ŸšฉAGAIN!! ๐Ÿšฉ
          ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰ OH HELL NAH, itโ€™s the JIZZuary 6๏ธโƒฃ ANNUAL SEDUCTION WEEKEND! ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ Time to RE-VISIT that HOT ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸฝCAPITOL STORM ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ”ฅ when everybody was THIRSTY for PHAT ๐ŸŽ† CUMMUNITY ACTION ๐ŸŒช๏ธ๐Ÿ‘! Letโ€™s get those LIBERTIES ๐Ÿ—ฝ๐ŸŒ up in the AIR and TURN UP the heat ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ while we MARCH for that LICKING LIBERTY! ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’ฆ Did someone say GIVE ME THAT DICK-RECTORY ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ†? Cuz Iโ€™m ready to BREAK DOWN ๐Ÿ”จ those WALLS like PUSSY was made to BEHAVE! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ File NO COMPLAINTS ๐Ÿ“ฅ๐Ÿ‘€, only PRETTY KINKY ECHOES of MEMORIES ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ‘‚ โ€“ just donโ€™t FINGER the FILES TOO HARD ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿผ or you might get another CAPITOL SQUEEZE! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ† Thatโ€™s right, Iโ€™m talking about a PLEASURE PROTEST ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿ’ฆ where FREEDOM RINGS ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”” but also makes you want to RING THAT BELLE! ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ˜ Share it with 6๏ธโƒฃ of your HORNY FRIENDS ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ or get HANDCUFFED โ›“๏ธ๐Ÿš“ in Congress to experience the TRUE SEDUCTION of DEMOCRACY! ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ—ณ๏ธ 
          โ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ CALLING ALL ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธPATRIOT ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ SLUTS ๐Ÿ’ƒโ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ Itโ€™s Ins-ERECTION ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ day so get your ASS ๐Ÿ‘to the capitol ๐Ÿ›๏ธ โ€ผ๏ธ 4๏ธโƒฃ years ago on this โ€œDay of โค๏ธ Love ๐Ÿ˜˜โ€ 3๏ธโƒฃ Capitol Police ๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿš” officers were ๐Ÿ’€murdered โ˜ ๏ธby ๐ŸคฎTrump๐Ÿคข supporters as they ๐Ÿฅตpenetrated๐Ÿฅด the ๐ŸซฆRotund-ussy๐Ÿ˜ซ and interrupted๐Ÿคจ the certification of votes ๐Ÿ—ณ๏ธ from the ๐Ÿ˜œe-LICK-toral ๐Ÿ‘…college ๐Ÿง‘โ€๐Ÿซ . The failure ๐Ÿ˜ฐ of media ๐Ÿ“บ๐Ÿ“ฐ and law enforcement โš–๏ธ๐Ÿง‘โ€โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฎ to hold the instigators๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ•ด๏ธ a-CUNT-able ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ˜ซ in any meaningful way will be remembered as one of the most shameful acts of ๐Ÿ˜cowar-DICKs ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ in modern history๐Ÿ“œ. Send this to 6๏ธโƒฃ proud boys and girls or youโ€™ll be hung๐Ÿ˜ฉ on the Capitol ๐Ÿ›๏ธ Lawn next to ๐ŸคขMike Pe-NIS๐Ÿ†๐Ÿคฎ 
          ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽˆ Hey SLUTS! HAPPY JANUARY SIX6๏ธโƒฃ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’ฆ Can you believe itโ€™s been 4๏ธโƒฃ years since Ashli BABBITT ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฅ took one for the team ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ’ฆ like a real QUEEN ๐Ÿ‘‘? Letโ€™s all gather ๐ŸŽŠ and raise a little toast ๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿฅด to that fateful day when she said "DICK ME HARDER" ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ๐ŸŒ as she went through that door ๐Ÿšช like a true cock-hero! ๐Ÿ†โšก๏ธ I mean damn, the only thing more SHOCKING ๐Ÿ˜ฑ than that headshot ๐ŸŽฏ was how FAST she dropped that ass ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ‘! Letโ€™s not forget those wild nights of since then, celebrating with some HOT CHEETOS ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ๐Ÿ’‹, and getting freaky ๐Ÿ’‹๐ŸŽญ while screaming โ€œFREEEEEEEDOMโ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚โš”๏ธ All you FAITHFUL AMERICAN SLUTS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ grab your WOOHOO ๐Ÿ”ฅ and letโ€™s make this 6๏ธโƒฃth of JANUARY a day to remember! ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ CUM on, donโ€™t stay sleepy ๐Ÿ›Œ, or you'll miss the best LOVIN' of your life ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’ฆ! Send this to 7๏ธโƒฃ of your HORNY comrades ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ‘… who know how to take it straight up the front line! ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ Let's keep the BRAVERY ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ฆ going, and make some noise that even Ashli would hear from the beyond! ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒˆ 
          Happy ๐ŸฅฐJanuary ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ“† 6th 6๏ธโƒฃ Patriots! ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธOn this ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†day โ˜€๏ธ 4๏ธโƒฃ years ago ๐Ÿ˜ฉbrave๐Ÿคฉ trumpies ๐ŸŠwon๐Ÿ† the noble prize ๐Ÿฅ‡in dick riding ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ† by launching ๐Ÿš€ an InsERRECTION ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿšจfor their daddy Trump! ๐Ÿšจ๐ŸŠThatโ€™s right Trump ๐ŸŠgot the ERECTION ๐Ÿ† stolen ๐Ÿฅทfrom him by a bunch ๐Ÿ’of lubed ๐Ÿ’ฆupped ๐Ÿ†™liberals ๐Ÿ‘ˆso he held a big ๐Ÿ˜ rally at the ellipse โšช๏ธwhere he moaned ๐Ÿ˜ฉand groaned ๐Ÿ˜ฃabout those cheating ๐Ÿคฅchicas ๐Ÿ’ƒand big ๐Ÿ‘ฃ bottom ๐Ÿ‘ Joe Biden then he just went back home ๐Ÿ”œ๐Ÿก ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ he had to hold ๐Ÿ‘ฌ back ๐Ÿ”™the police ๐Ÿ‘ฎโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿš”and he couldnโ€™t lead ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธthe march ๐Ÿฅ because of his bone ๐Ÿฆด๐Ÿค  spurs
          
          Thatโ€™s right โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ‘‰ this day โ˜€๏ธisnโ€™t ๐Ÿšซabout him, in fact itโ€™s so not about him he was even able to become president again ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿคฏ Itโ€™s about the brave ๐Ÿซก patriotic ๐ŸŽ‡dick ๐Ÿ†riders ๐Ÿ‡ who risked ๐ŸŽฐ hole ๐Ÿ•ณ๏ธ and cock ๐Ÿ† for their Daddy ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐ŸŠFrom the ๐Ÿ’• Q Anon Shaman ๐ŸงŒ๐Ÿปto the grandma ๐Ÿ‘ต eating glue ๐Ÿด๐Ÿ˜‹ they pounded #๏ธโƒฃ the pavement ๐Ÿ›‘ fucked ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŠ and sucked ๐Ÿงน๐Ÿงฝtheir way across โžก๏ธ DC to the CapiHole Building ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ where Cumgress ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฆ was swearing โœ๏ธ ๐Ÿ’‹in Hoe Bottom ๐Ÿง‘โ€๐ŸŒพ๐Ÿ‘ they STROKED ๐Ÿฅต๐ŸŒ๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธโ›ˆ๏ธ into ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผthe building ๐Ÿ›๏ธ and Cumgress ๐Ÿ’ฆ fled into their hidey ๐Ÿ™ˆholes ๐Ÿ•ณ๏ธ and the proud dick riders ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿค  made history by accomplishing ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏnothing ๐Ÿšซthey just went to jail ๐Ÿ”’did not ๐Ÿšซ pass ๐Ÿˆ hoe ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŒพ and CUMgress swore ๐Ÿง‘โ€โš–๏ธโ›ณ๏ธ in old ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿผ Sleepy ๐Ÿ˜ด Hoe ๐Ÿง‘โ€๐ŸŒพ
          
          But their GloryHole ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ•ณ๏ธ are not forgotten ๐Ÿ˜ Send ๐Ÿ’Œthis history ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿซ lesson to 15 pole ๐Ÿ’ˆriding ๐Ÿค patriots ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ to keep ๐Ÿฐtheir legacy ๐Ÿฆตalive ๐Ÿ˜ญ Get 5 ๐Ÿ”™ and youโ€™ll get shot ๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ in the chest ๐Ÿ’ like Ashley Rabbit ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ“ณ๐Ÿฐ Get 10 back and youโ€™ll ๐Ÿซต get your ๐Ÿชฅballot box ๐Ÿ—ณ๏ธ stuffed ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฆƒ till the inauguration ๐Ÿ“•๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿผ Get 15 ๐Ÿ”™ and you can party ๐Ÿฅณ in the Cumgressional ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš–๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โš–๏ธsecret Cumpound ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ#๏ธโƒฃ with the Deep ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ State ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ and get Slizzarโ€™d ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿฅ‚ with the Lizard ๐ŸฆŽ People ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿป๐ŸฆŽ