Great. I fucking cummed. Because of what you posted. Do you think it's cool to make me cum in front of my family? Do you get joy out of it? My cum filled my underwear and is dripping down my leg. All because of you. I'm at my wife's funeral right now and I cummed all over her coffin. My great grandpa looked at this post and cummed so hard he died! Now I have to got to two funerals, all because of you. My great grandma slapped me in the face, which made me cum even more! I'm sitting in a pool of my own cum with two dead people in this room, just because you had to post this.
holy fucking shit. if i see ONE more en passant meme i'm going to chop my fucking balls off. holy shit it is actually impressive how incredibly unfunny the entire sub is. it's not that complicated, REPEATING THE SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN DOES NOT MAKE IT FUNNIER. this stupid fucking meme has been milked to fucking death IT'S NOT FUNNIER THE 973RD TIME YOU MAKE THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE. WHAT'S EVEN THE JOKE?????? IT'S JUST "haha it's the funne move from chess" STOP. and the WORST part is that en passant was actually funny for like a few years and it got fucking ruined in like a week because EVERYONE POSTED THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. SEEING ALL YOUR SHITTY MEMES IS ACTUAL FUCKING MENTAL TORTURE YOU ALL ARE NOT FUNNY. COME UP WITH A DIFFERENT FUCKING JOKE PLEASE
Geometry Dash
holy fucking shit. if i see ONE more poorly drawn normal difficulty meme i'm going to chop my fucking balls off. holy shit it is actually impressive how incredibly unfunny the entire comm is. it's not that complicated, REPEATING THE SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN DOES NOT MAKE IT FUNNIER. this stupid fucking meme has been milked to fucking death IT'S NOT FUNNIER THE 973RD TIME YOU MAKE THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE. WHAT'S EVEN THE JOKE?????? IT'S JUST "haha its the poorly drawn normal difficulty face from that one tweet" STOP. and the WORST part is that the faces were actually funny for like a few days and it got fucking ruined in like a hour because EVERYONE POSTED THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. SEEING ALL YOUR SHITTY MEMES IS ACTUAL FUCKING MENTAL TORTURE YOU ALL ARE NOT FUNNY. COME UP WITH A DIFFERENT FUCKING JOKE PLEASE
So my girl is applying ED to Cornell University this year and has been talking about it nonstop for weeks. She’s been wanting this for as long as she’s known the school and mentions it anytime we’re together.
I’m totally cool with that and have supported her through it all. She definitely has the stats to get in so I’m proud of her, but its an insane obsession now. She’s visited the school about 6 times and says how much she loves everything about the school and I mean EVERYTHING.
The campus, programs, people, architecture, history, traditions, colors, mascot, shape, smell?
She literally knows everything about the school and does Cornell trivia with me when we’re bored or asks me to help her write emails to professors she thinks she’ll have next year to tell them how much she “loves” their work.
Last night we were doing it in bed, and everything was going smoothly. While she talked me through it I thought I heard her mumbling but couldn’t really make out what she was saying. But at the end she screamed “Cornell!” and calling it baby and was saying how much she wanted it so bad and would do anything for it. Instead of my name! She said Cornell!
I asked her about it after and told me it didn’t mean anything and just kept rambling about how much she really wants the school. It doesn’t even sound like she’s talking about a school anymore.
I know she’s stressed because of it, but I’m kind of hurt? Is this normal?
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UC Berkeley
So my girl is applying to UC Berkeley this year and has been talking about it nonstop for weeks. She’s been wanting this for as long as she’s known the school and mentions it anytime we’re together.
I’m totally cool with that and have supported her through it all. She definitely has the stats to get in so I’m proud of her, but its an insane obsession now. She’s visited the school about 6 times and says how much she loves everything about the school and I mean EVERYTHING.
The campus, programs, people, architecture, history, traditions, colors, mascot, shape, smell?
She literally knows everything about the school and does Berkeley trivia with me when we’re bored or asks me to help her write emails to professors she thinks she’ll have next year to tell them how much she “loves” their work.
Last night we were doing it in bed, and everything was going smoothly. While she talked me through it I thought I heard her mumbling but couldn’t really make out what she was saying. But at the end she screamed “Berkeley!” and calling it baby and was saying how much she wanted it so bad and would do anything for it. Instead of my name! She said Berkeley!
I asked her about it after and she told me it didn’t mean anything and just kept rambling about how much she really wants the school. It doesn’t even sound like she’s talking about a school anymore.
I know she’s stressed because of it, but I’m kind of hurt? Is this normal?
UC Illinois
My gf screamed “Illinois” instead of my name in bed?
So my girl is applying to UIUC this year and has been talking about it nonstop for weeks. She’s been wanting this for as long as she’s known the school and mentions it anytime we’re together.
I’m totally cool with that and have supported her through it all. She definitely has the stats to get in so I’m proud of her, but its an insane obsession now. She’s visited the school about 6 times and says how much she loves everything about the school and I mean EVERYTHING.
The campus, programs, people, architecture, history, traditions, colors, mascot, shape, smell?
She literally knows everything about the school and does Illinois trivia with me when we’re bored or asks me to help her write emails to professors she thinks she’ll have next year to tell them how much she “loves” their work.
Last night we were doing it in bed, and everything was going smoothly. While she talked me through it I thought I heard her mumbling but couldn’t really make out what she was saying. But at the end she screamed “Illinois!” and calling it baby and was saying how much she wanted it so bad and would do anything for it. Instead of my name! She said Illinois!
I asked her about it after and she told me it didn’t mean anything and just kept rambling about how much she really wants the school. It doesn’t even sound like she’s talking about a school anymore.
I know she’s stressed because of it, but I’m kind of hurt? Is this normal?
This isn’t a fucking meme anymore. This is no longer a want, but a need. I need to fuck her. Ashley… she makes me feel things that I’ve never felt from a fictional 2D woman before. Every time I browse the r/CoffinofAndyAndLeyley subreddit, I see nude images of her. Whenever I sleep, I see nude images of her. Whenever I think, I see nude images of her. I can’t take it anymore. This psychotic, cannibalistic, heartless bitch… I want her to be my actual sister. I want to be Andrew himself. I’m not satisfied until Ashley’s my actual sister and we have some hot, raw incestual sex. I want to give her an incest baby that we can take care of because our parents are fucking useless. And I don’t want to fix her. I want her to absolutely fucking break me. I want her to destroy everything I love and laugh as I have nothing but her to love anymore, because she’s all I need… I want her to chew up the meat of a person she grinded up into ground meat and spit it onto my mouth like a bird feeding her baby. People won’t understand, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I want Ashley to dominate me as her big brother. I want her to just absolutely be the worst person to ever enter my life as she coddles me to herself as I cry about my life choices. But above all… I want Ashley to be my sister-wife.
Coach Prime calling it like it is!!!!!!1!! ALWAYS!!!! How can you not Love ❤️ him and want the best for him and his whole family 👨👩👧👦!!! am sure he would be a great NFL Coach too! It a MAN 👨 like Coach Prime is right where he belongs BUILDING 👷MEN! 👬Can't wait to see your future Coach Your a legend ON and OFF the Field! My Favorite story EVER was Desmond taking a return back Vs. The Atlanta Falcons! Then when Coach or really at this point Prime Time told the Kickoff return man to get out of the game (as Prime Time was the Punt Returner at that point) then he proceeded to take back Prime Times own TD return! I remember Coach saying he was s000000 mad 😡 about Desmond bringing a TD return back he got so mad and proceeded to do the same! NOW THAT IS WHAT PRIME TIME was all about! What a Wonderful WINNER 🏆 and THE BEST SHOWMAN! EXACTLY what the people wanted to see! COACH PRIME BETTER DO his TD DANCE 🕺 when he wins the NCAA Championship 🏆!!!! I would love to see that again many times! In and EndZone too!!!!
My roommate keeps fucking his bed. How do I approach this?
I honestly don’t know how else to put it.
So for context, my roommate warned me that he “sometimes sleeptalked” at night, but I had gotten extremely unlucky with my first two roommates… they were absolutely terrible. Inconsiderate, spoiled, and disgusting. Therefore, a clean, tidy, hygienic roommate sounded great and I thought that a little sleeptalking wouldn’t hurt anyone.
The sleeptalking I can handle. The sleepfucking, on the other hand, I cannot handle. For clarification, the “sleeptalking” went from a few mumbles and groans (the first month) to nightly violent spring squeaking coming across the room.
This man will literally be pounding his mattress at 4 in the morning (it’s currently 4:30 and he’s just woken me up after rawdogging his mattress again). It got to the point where I had to use earplugs to sleep… but that caused me to miss my alarm and therefore, a class.
The other disturbing part is that he calls out names. He is currently single, and unfortunately, we have the same friend group. So occasionally, I’ll hear one of their names moaned out in the middle of the night. Here’s what woke me up half an hour ago.
squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak “uuuunghhhhhh Lauren” squeak squeak “oh fuck yeah” squeak
It only stops when 1: he climaxes. 2: he fucks the bed so violently that he bounces his himself up the bed and hits his head on the wall.
I have no idea how to approach this with him, since he’s very shy and tends to avoid/get quiet when there are sexual discussions (when he’s awake, at least.) I wouldn’t want to make it awkward, but I can’t deal with him waking me up all the time. How should I approach this?
