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C’mon! I spend all fucking day working my ass off at my bullshit job

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    byu/boxburnabs from discussion
    inimpressively
    It's floe. Ice Floe.

C'mon!

I spend all fucking day working my ass off at my bullshit job that does nothing for humanity, then get in my shitty little car and fucking kill an innocent squirrel on the way home because the asshole behind me was tailgating me so I couldn't sloe down enough to let the little guy scramble across the street, then I get home and have to cook some fucking food for myself and I'm fucking starving but oh wait, apparently the freezer broke while I was gone and all my ice melted and leaked into everything and water logged my milk carton causing it to weaken and rupture and so I had to clean all that fucking shit up and because if I don't clean up the milk, I'm gonna get the roaches again, and last time that happened, I accidentally ate several roaches a day because they would just shoot right into my mouth and I have fucking idea why and the roach meat made me fucking sick as a dog and I'd throe up which would attract more roaches, new, different roaches, and when the new roaches get together with the old roaches, they form some sort of synergistic roach society and they keep trying to shoot up my pant legs and mess with my junk, so I gotta wear the special underwear again with the hose clamps, and all I wanna do it just sit down with my phone propped up in the crook of my elboe and see some witty puns on Reddit, but what do I see?

Fucking flow instead of floe.

I'm done with this world, man. Let the roaches take me at this point. They can finally have my body. What am I even fighting for anymore?

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    C'mon!

I spend all fucking day working my ass off at my bullshit job that does nothing for humanity, then get in my shitty little car and fucking kill an innocent squirrel on the way home because the asshole behind me was tailgating me so I couldn't sloe down enough to let the little guy scramble across the street, then I get home and have to cook some fucking food for myself and I'm fucking starving but oh wait, apparently the freezer broke while I was gone and all my ice melted and leaked into everything and water logged my milk carton causing it to weaken and rupture and so I had to clean all that fucking shit up and because if I don't clean up the milk, I'm gonna get the roaches again, and last time that happened, I accidentally ate several roaches a day because they would just shoot right into my mouth and I have fucking idea why and the roach meat made me fucking sick as a dog and I'd throe up which would attract more roaches, new, different roaches, and when the new roaches get together with the old roaches, they form some sort of synergistic roach society and they keep trying to shoot up my pant legs and mess with my junk, so I gotta wear the special underwear again with the hose clamps, and all I wanna do it just sit down with my phone propped up in the crook of my elboe and see some witty puns on Reddit, but what do I see?

Fucking X instead of Y.

I'm done with this world, man. Let the roaches take me at this point. They can finally have my body. What am I even fighting for anymore?

    I need your advice… I have a 12 year old sister called Melisa but I started calling her Yui

      The SAO live action remake is looking fucking wild
      I need your advice...

I have a 12 year old sister called Melisa but I started calling her Yui when I became an otaku when I was 15 and later, she became an anime fan when she was 11. Now I have done something so terrible that I can't sleep...

What happened is that I'm a lolicon, I like loli hentai... For a month, she saw me watching that hentai and then she investigated on the subject herself... I didn't know she was spying on me so I kept watching my degenerate shit unconcerned, until one day Yui called me Onii-Chan. I felt very shameful but everything got out of control when she started to moan like a loli to make fun of me... That cunt thought she was a loli. I didn't think much of it, until I started to think that... She could like me.

I know it's sickening but since incest is my fetish, I started to woo her and little by little, we fell in love... We even got to the point of kissing.

One night our parents weren't home she and I had sex... No joke, that was the best damn night of my life. We did it over and over again and I lost control of myself when she moaned and called me Onii-Chan. We were a couple in secret... Since she was 12, I never thought I'd get her pregnant...

She was at our grandparent's home when she sent me a message telling me that she was pregnant. I couldn't sleep that night and I didn't know what to do, I was considering making her have an abortion... I thought the protagonists in these stories were happy... Now I know how hard the life of two siblings who love each other with a 5 year age gap could be.

Yui has offered me to act like it was rape and I had nothing to do with it, but for some reason I can't accept it. I have until Monday to find a solution...
      I need your advice...

I have a 12 year old sister called Melisa but I started calling her Yui when I became an otaku when I was 15 and later, she became an anime fan when she was 11. Now I have done something so terrible that I can't sleep... What happened is that I'm a lolicon, I like loli hentai... For a month, she saw me watching that hentai and then she investigated on the subject herself... I didn't know she was spying on me so I kept watching my degenerate shit unconcerned, until one day Yui called me Onii-Chan. I felt very shameful but everything got out of control when she started to moan like a loli to make fun of me... That cunt thought she was a loli. I didn't think much of it, until I started to think that... She could like me. I know it's sickening but since incest is my fetish, I started to woo her and little by little, we fell in love... We even got to the point of kissing. One night our parents weren't home she and I had sex... No joke, that was the best damn night of my life. We did it over and over again and I lost control of myself when she moaned and called me Onii-Chan. We were a couple in secret... Since she was 12, I never thought I'd get her pregnant... She was at our grandparent's home when she sent me a message telling me that she was pregnant. I couldn't sleep that night and I didn't know what to do, I was considering making her have an abortion... I thought the protagonists in these stories were happy... Now I know how hard the life of two siblings who love each other with a 5 year age gap could be. Yui has offered me to act like it was rape and I had nothing to do with it, but for some reason I can't accept it. I have until Monday to find a solution...

      Furry cummies make excellent dairy products in Zootopia

        Originally came from a comment by u/sephutis on a post in r/furrypasta, both source had since been deleted.

        Furry cummies make excellent dairy products in Zootopia

The year is 2050, humans have nearly gone extinct due to environmental issues, but the rise of furries have populated the world, forming their own mega city called Zootopia.

Furries are tenderly and loving species, prefer to not harm nature. As such, they have banned all forms of animal farms. So you ask "How are they ment to survive then?", well there are artificially synthesized meat products, vegetation and...cummies, lots and lots of cummies.

In fact, furries can survive exclusively on cummies as they power their personal EM fields, sustaining the control over their plushie like bodies with no internal organs. Cummies can be extracted from the bottem or submissive class, where they have evolved to convert energies from their surroundings into excessive cummies for consumption.

Every day, these lovely subs and bottoms gets tied up and hooked to the factory milkers and produce vast amount of cummies following their moans of pleasure and ecstasy. They are paid handsomely of course, with your typical 9-5 hours, we gotta be ethical about this. The cummies of furries have a naturally pleasant sweet taste to it. You can just drink it as it is and it'd be a lovely snack, but there is more.

Furry cummies can be refined into various food products such as milk, cheese, yogurt and more. Most of Zootopia's shelfs are populated by refined cummies, and furries use them as the humans do. What a wonderful way to solve the problem of animal farming?

The refined cummies are at such a quality that they taste better than real milk. It is said they have become increasingly popular even in humans, promoting many post apocalyptic settlements to purchase them. Strange enough, the human consumers often develop an addiction to cummies, and would frequently request to be transfurred, as to join Zootopia and enjoy cummies every day.

So what are you waiting for? get your cummies today at 50% discount. Or phone us now to join the production Corp for a new and exciting job opportunity!

        God fucking Damnit I wanna breed Mia and Tia so bad

          Mia and Tia from Cars (2006)
          source
          God fucking Damnit I wanna breed Mia and Tia so bad I can't even function normally, there is nothing more I crave on God's green earth than to pump their tailpipes full of my hot, goopy semen. I will not die happy until I empty every last nut I have inside of these gorgeous girls. The cute voices, the curvaceous Bodies, the pop-up headlights, I have never been more erect in my life. My parents are trying to convince me to go to therapy because they're constantly walking in on me furiously beating my meat red raw to a scene of the hottest twins on Earth, I think they're considering taking away my DVD player to convince me to get a girlfriend or something, please help me. I don't know if I can live if I lose them, it would be the end of me

          August 12 2036, the heat death of the universe.

            Squidward chanting heat death of the universe

            Its a chant by Loudward (Squidward) from the AI-Generated SpongeBob livestream which became viral. 

            August 12 2036, the heat death of the universe. August 12 2036, the heat death of the universe. August 12 2036, the heat death of the universe.
            August 12 2036 The heat death of the Universe August 12 2036 The heat death of the Universe
            AUGUST 12 2036, THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE 🗣💥💥‼️‼️‼️ 
AUGUST 12 2036, THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE 🗣💥💥‼️‼️‼️
AUGUST 12 2036, THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE 🗣💥💥‼️‼️‼️
            AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. AUGUST 12TH, 2036. HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. 
            August 12th, 2036, the heat death of the universe and the day the fog is coming.

            Genshin would be better if the content was tailored to me personally

              It started as shitpost towards the drama happening within Genhin Impact community but had since become a staple copypasta whenever there’s player drama within a Hoyoverse game. 

              As I watch the community’s rightful outrage over yet another bad decision made by HoYo, it occurs to me that they continuously make the same mistake:

Not making content for the average player.

I am a perfect representation of the average player for reasons. The things I like are the things that all players would want. They'd have to be stupid not to be satisfied with my ideas and demands.

It is mind boggling that HoYo doesn't want to make the game more successful by just doing what would make me happy.

              Honkai Star Rail (HSR)

              HSR would be better if the content was tailored to me personally
Meme / Fluff

As I watch the community’s rightful outrage over yet another bad decision made by HoYo, it occurs to me that they continuously make the same mistake:

Not making content for the average player.

I am a perfect representation of the average player for reasons. The things I like are the things that all players would want. They'd have to be stupid not to be satisfied with my ideas and demands.

It is mind boggling that HoYo doesn't want to make the game more successful by just doing what would make me happy.