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I used to tickle my pickle to Terence from Angry Birds (and still do)

    Posted on r/teenagers, its an updated version of the ‘I used to jerk off to Angry Birds‘ copypasta.

    When I was about 13, I loved angry birds, I had every game all the way to angry Birds seasons and HD and I had every toy and merchandise they had at the store, I was playing angry birds and then all of a sudden Terence showed up and turned me on. I COULDN’T STAND IT, I WAS GOING CRAZY. I DECIDED TO PUL OUT MY BIG PICKLE AND START STRANGLING IT, I had never felt so good, I soon continued to do this daliy and never got bored of it, I soon decided to hump my Terence plush and strangle my pickle to my computer, merchandise and phone, I’m glad to still admit I still do this today and I’m never embarrassed and giving up

    Real Screamo

      “Skramz” only consists of the dc Emotional Hardcore scene and the late 00’s emo scene. What is known by “Screamo” is nothing but Emo Pop with questionable real skramz influence. When people try to argue that bands like Pierce the Veil are not real skramz, while saying that Bring Me The Horizon is, I can’t help not to cringe because they are just as fake emo as Pierce the Veil (plus the pretentiousness). Real skramz sounds ENERGETIC, POWERFUL and somewhat HATEFUL. Fake skramz is weak, self pity and a failed attempt to direct energy and emotion into music. Some examples of REAL SKRAMZ are Circle Takes the Square, Saetia, Merchant Ships (the only real emo band from the midwest scene) and Loma Prieta. Some examples of FAKE EMO are Falling In Reverse, Pierce the Veil and Bring Me The Horizon. SKRAMZ BELONGS TO HARDCORE NOT TO EMO, POP PUNK, ALT ROCK OR ANY OTHER MAINSTREAM GENRE

      If X has a million haters

        If Megumi has 1 million haters I'm one of them. If Megumi has 10,000 haters I'm one of them. If Megumi has 10 haters I'm one of them. If Megumi has 0 haters then I'm dead. I will be Megumi hater until my very last breath.
        if chris pratt has a million haters, then i am one of them. if he has ten haters, then i am one of them. if he has only one hater then that is me. if chris pratt has no haters, then that means i am no longer on earth. if the world loves chris pratt, then i am against the world.
        If Awkwafina has a million haters im one of them. If she has a 1000 haters im still one of them. If she has 1 hater its me. If Awkwafina has 0 haters it means I have left this world. If the world is against Awkwafina then I am with the world

        Oh ✋👋 hello 👩 CEO 👸👸 of 🈹 feminism

          😚😘 Oh ✋👋 hello 👩 CEO 👸👸 of 🈹 feminism 💦💦💦 I 😎 got 👜 you 👉👑 something. 💪🏻🤴🏻🤜🏻👩🏾 I'm 😢 sorry 😥 if 💯 the 👆🏻 superior 🧠🧠 intellect 👀 and 😂 joking 🤣🤣 ability 😭 of the 🥒 male 🍆 species 🎮🎮🎮 is ⏩ greater ⏩ than ⏮ that of the lowly 🚮 femoid 👱🏼‍♀️🤛🏻 gender 🤢🤢🤮 and 🤭 thusly 🤓👆 you 💋🍆 are 🚫 unable 🚫 to 💔💔 appreciate 🤴 my 🎮 very 💯💯💯 high 📏 level 📏 of 😅😆 humors 😂😂😂 If 🤡 feminism 🤡 is so 👎🏻 great 🙅🏻‍♂️ why 🤷🏻‍♂️ do 🌌 males 👥 exist? 🥏🥏 Checkmate 🥏🥏 you 😡 triggered 🤬🤬🤬 femcucklib 💩

          MISONO😆😆MIKA😆😆 17YO 🦍 85 480 HP ❣️ 7372 ATK💪

            THIS IS MISONO😆😆MIKA😆😆 17YO 🦍 85 480 HP ❣️ 7372 ATK💪💪1867 EVASION 💃💃 YELLOW 🟡 🟡 DEALER 🔫🔫 FRONT WITH GUARANTEE 💯💯💯 CRIT BUILD IN 🎯🎯 WITH 1540% NUKE💥💥💥💥 THAT GOES TO 3000%🦍🦍🦍 BASED ON TARGET HP☠️☠️ LORD🙏🙏🙏🙏 HAVE MERCY🛐🛐🛐🛐 ENHANCED SKILL GIVE YELLOW 🟡🟡🟡🟡 EFFECTIVENESS🏋️‍♀️🥰🥰 🚇🚇🚇SKILL GIVE 24,2% 💥 DEALT💪💪💪WHILE ALSO 📉📉📉📉DAMAGE RECEIVED TOO SO SHE CAN HELP 🛡️🛡️AS WELL AHHHHH WAHHHHHHH 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱TRUELY ONE OF THE 🦍🦍🦍🦍 OF ALL⏰⏰⏰. NEXON STOCK📈📈📈📈 WHEN THEY UNLEASH THE 🦍 🦍 🦍.

            I saw Aaron Paul at an unemployment office in Los Angeles

              Started from a comment on Reddit parodying the “Flying Lotus at a grocery store in LA” story but changed to fit the Xbox One: Aaron Paul ad.

              I saw Aaron Paul at an unemployment office in Los Angeles yesterday. I noticed him but didn’t want to bother him. He obviously saw me because he came up to me. He said, “Please let me give you an autograph, yo, bitch. Please respond.” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “Please respond. Please respond. Xbox, please respond. Bitch.” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my day, and I heard him crying as I walked off. When I came to apply up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen job applications in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be busy and read scripts, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the forms and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually because “I just wish I had more time to play,” and then turned around and cried at me. I don’t even think that’s a career. After she scanned each form and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by saying “Xbox turn on” really loudly.