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PURIM

    Today ❗❗ is PURIM 🍺🍸🍷 when sexy🫦 QWEEN 👑💅💄 Esther got down 🙇‍♀️ on her knees🧎‍♀️😛 for sugar daddy Achashverosh 🤑🤴 and STOPPED that evil 👿 👺 horny HAMAN 🅱🅾🅾 from killing 🔪 the 🔯🔯 Jews 🔯🔯 so grab 🤝 a drink 🍸 or 5️⃣ 🥂and get LIT 🤪🥴until you 👌👌 CAN’T ❌ tell 👀 the difference between ↔️ GOOD 😇😇 and EVIL 😈 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your friends get 🔟 back and you’re a semitic 🕎✡️ SLUT and will get some Purim 🎭 PUSSY 👅get less 📉🛬 and you’re a haman 👹HOE 
    Today ❗❗ is PURIM 🍺🍸🍷 when beautiful 💖 QWEEN 👑💅💄 Esther stopped evil 👺 daddy haman 🅱🅾🅾 from killing 🔪 the 🔯🔯 Jews 🔯🔯 so grab 👐 a drink 🍸 and get LIT until you 👌👌 can't ❌ tell 👀 the difference between ↔ good 😇😇 and evil 😈 send this to all your friends. get 5 🕔 back and you're a purim pussy get 10 back 👅👅 and you're a semitic slut get 15 🔝📬 and you're a qween hamentaschen ho

    Hello Tanner, Lucas, Graham and Eric

      Hello Tanner, Lucas, Graham and Eric Right now, you boys must have a lot of questions going through your mind: where is this small room we just woke up in, why the floor is so sticky and why does this room smell so sweet and sugary? But before that, I'd like to ask you a simple question: what exactly is supposed to go in a Big Gulp cup? If your answer is a fountain drink from the 7-Eleven self-service area, then you would be correct. In fact, there are several signs next to the Big Gulp cup dispensers that make the expected contents of a Big Gulp crystal clear. However, yesterday afternoon, you boys decided to fill the Big Gulp cup with something other than a carbonated beverage: one Twix, one Baby Ruth, one Toblerone and one Resees Take 5. I know exactly what was inside that Big Gulp cup because after exiting the 7-Eleven, I watched Tanner remove the lid of the Big Gulp and each of you carefully remove your favorite candy bar from the cup one by one. However, the receipt only showed that you purchased one Big Gulp drink. You even went so far as to fill the entire cup with A&W Root Beer to disguise your stolen candy bars from Toby the store clerk with poor vision. Lucas said himself that Tobys poor eye sight means that he wouldn't notice the submerged candy bars in your Big Gulp cup. By now, you are probably noticing that the room you are in resembles a giant Big Gulp cup, and the sticky substance on the floor is A& W Root Beer that is now rapidly filling the room. Soon, you will be submerged just like your Twix, your Baby Ruth, your Toblerone, and your Resees Take 5. And just like those stolen candy bars, you have no choice but to suffocate in the sugary soda. Your only hope is the same store clerk Toby who I have brought here to examine this giant cup and to tell me what he sees. Maybe he sees four helpless boys and there's a chance he might save you, or maybe with his poor eyesight he doesn't see you at all, just how he didn't see the four candy bars you stole right under his nose. How ironic, the same poor vision you were willing to take advantage of will now determine if you live or die. Let the games begin.

      I detest seeing other foreigners in Japan.

        I am a Canadian who dreams of moving to Japan. Planning on going there for a working holiday after this this Covid-19 crap is over so I can see what it is like. When I see vlogs of Japan, I absolutely hate it when I see that there are many foreigners living there already. They need to to gtfo, honestly. Like when I go to Japan, I want to be surrounded by actual Japanese people, not people I am trying to escape from. They just remind me of back home and it triggers me a lot. There are too many foreigners in Japan and they need to go home! I hope Japan becomes more strict about this, of course I am a true Japanophile who respects Japanese culture and society, meanwhile these tourists and foreign residents want to destroy and pollute it. They will never become Japanese or integrate. Sad to see Japan going down this route... I am a true Japanophile who can integrate, not like these weebs, sexpats, and obnoxious gaijins. I have a Japanese girlfriend, learn and read about Japanese culture and history, and am learning the Japanese-language. You can bet I am possessive about Japan and I hate seeing these invaders destroying it... gaijin go home!

        Seika Ijichi

          Ijichi Seika, my one and only, not a day goes by without me thinking of you. Every night, I close my eyes, wishing I could be with you, seeing your endearing smile, staring into those captivating eyes of yours, listening to your soothing voice. But when dawn comes, I am faced with the terrible truth that you are but a fictional character. Reality is harsh, unforgiving, and cruel. How could my love for you, so deep, so fervent, so real, be invalidated by the simple fact that the barrier of reality separates us? I wish with all my heart to wake up from this horrible nightmare known as reality. Oh what I wouldn't give, to be with you, be it just temporarily?

Some may say that Ijichi Seika is but a psychological defense mechanism I developed, to escape the harshness of reality. Other tell me to give up my obsession with Ijichi Seika. But how could I? The thought of giving Seika up is terrifying; for would it not be terrifying? To lose your sole source of joy, the only one you can find solace in?

Oh Seika... Why did you have to have such a wonderful personality? Why did you have to be so beautiful? Why did you have to steal my heart? If only you were real... If only the barrier of reality that separates us could be broken... Nonetheless, I will still love 💛Ijichi Seika💛 with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, wishing to be with her always.

          I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Zhongli.

            I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Zhongli. I try to play Thoma. My Zhongli gives interrupt resistance. I try to play Kirara. My Zhongli gives interrupt resistance . I try to play Baizhu. My Zhongli gives more shield. I want to play C0 Neuvilette. His best team has Zhongli. I want to play Hu Tao, C0 Arlecchino. They both want Zhongli.

He grabs me by the throat. I fish for him. I cook for him. I give him Black Tassel. He isn't satisfied. I pull vortex vanquisher. "I don't need this" He tells me. "Give me more hp." He grabs 2 hydro for resonance. "You just need to give me more hp. I’ll handle interrupt resistance."

I can't pull for yelan or furina, I don't have enough primogems. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He grabs a meteor. He says "I will have order." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, interrupt resistance. What a cruel world.

            Berna-Chan is so quirky and relatable uwu

              Source
              Berna-Chan is so quirky and relatable uwu. She is so cute with her messy hair. As Batta-Sama, I'll make her take private lessons with me in my room. But I won't be teaching her anything owo, we're gonna play some special games together. First, I'll make her sit down on my bed (facing away from me uwu) and blindfold her as I caress her dirty unwashed hair, and sniff the deliciious grease off of her head. I bet her hair has so much lint and dead skin in it since she doesn't wash it, oh I wanna pick it out of her hair like a monkey and keep some of her skin. (Not like she needs it uwu!) I bet Berna-Chan's skin is super soft, if I poke her chubby cheeks my fingers would squish in and it'd feel so good. I bet she's super ticklish, when I go to caress her squishy waist, she would giggle and tell me to stop uwu, but I won't stop. I would wrap my arms around Berna-Chan's tum tum and put my hands in her soft belly, rubbing it while I sniff her greasy hair HNGGGGGG I'm getting excited just thinking about it. I'm gonna make sure to take care of Berna-Chan's beautiful, soft hands, I bet they smell just like the pages in the books she reads, but her hands are nothing campared to the beauty of her chunky unshaven legs. Her little hairs would tickle so much as I rub my face up and down her leg. After that is the true treasure, her feet. Oh her beautiful... sweaty...feet. I bet they put Corrin-Chan's feet to shame with how juicy they are, akways being cramped up in Berna-Chan's unwashed socks. I bet some of her toenails are chipped from jamming them into her table and chair, I wouldn't mind cleaning them up for her with my mouth. Oh I want to rub her feet all over my face, I want her to pin me to the ground with but I know she wouldn't do that. Even though she won't, I still wuv Berna-Chan. I know my sweet Berna-Chan won't tell anyone about our little private study sessions, she's too shy and sweet to. But if I see any of the male students (especially that fucker Lorenz) getting close to MY Berna-Chan, I might accidentally leave them in the middle of the enemy lines without any weapons. The ONLY exception is Ashe since they're hoodie buddies. Oh I can't wait for July 26 so I can wuv all over my waifu Berna-Chan.

              Bernadetta copypasta

              precious cinnamon roll must protecc oooh so relatable so awkward and nervous and shy and wow look at her hair its so messy and greasy does she shower? i bet she doesn't god her feet must smell amazing, what a perfect package since she's also so awkward and relatable and shy and precious and a shut in, did you know the japanese word for that is hikikomori?

bernadetta time skip... that precious cinnamon roll aged like a fine wine in a basement. god i cant wait for her to just completely turn into an absolute FREAK when the timeskip happens. maybe she'll grow big bountiful breasts for me, blyeth, the player character, to suckle upon like a true deserving lord and protagonist. god, and her feet can only get bigger and smellier from here. i can already FEEL the WRINKLES

it happened again. i woke up with a stain on my pants just THINKING of bernadetta's delicious feet. i would give ANYTHING for her to step on me and run her greasy hair all over me. i can't do this. i can't wait until july 26th just to get a glimpse of her delectable toes. it feels like i'm waiting the whole five years and more just to see bernadetta time skip. is this what you wanted nintendo? give us more bernadetta before the game releases, i'm BEGGING you