T-pose! Sorry, I was just asserting my dominance... So you’re new here, right? Heh, I’ve noticed you’re a bit small there, you’re a little bit of a quiet potato. Me, I’m a big Chungus as you can see. Yeah, I’m in the band, uh, I play trumpet. Yeah and maybe a little bit of trombone, y’know? If I’m feeling it, yeah? Do you go on reddit? Do you like Rick and Morty? Me too! Do you watch callmecarson?Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!Imagine her just grabbing you by the skull with her vice strength hands and just throwing your naked body onto the bed
"You are my toy now"
She sits on you and plays with your trembling penis
"If this comes before I do, you die" and she laughs
And she plays with it more and more and you desperately hold the coom in and she finds it funny
Then she just sits right on top of you and grinds while looking you right in the eyes mockingly, and your balls are screaming "LET THEM OUT! LET THEM OUT"
And she just laughs as she grinds harder, and harder till she's battering your cock as if it was a piston in a deep underground boring machine and she groans "MORE MORE, MORE" and every fibre of your being wants to erupt in coom but you can't, she isn't satisfied yet and she's hipthrusting away with enough force to break Hephaestus's anvil
Finally she orgasms, and she smiles contentedly
"You may now come" and you just erupt, all that built up energy bursts inside of her and she gently caresses the side of your face with a loving touch, but then
"That was reasonable, but next time, I expect to be overwhelmed" and you're afraid, you're scared, that was all you had and it was barely enough for her, you know, next time, you must be stronger, you must be more manly, perhaps you will become her favourite
And she walks off, vagely amused, and returns to ruling, with her iron handsI did it. I finally did it. I told my parents they're gay. After 2 weeks of struggles and hardships I achieve the impossible. My parents were shocked and heartbroken at the same time. They never knew they were gay until I told them. They had no idea what to do. I was furious. How could they have been gay and not told me? I know one thing for sure, I have to make them realise that they are now gay and there is no stopping it.Laugh away:
I know how to divide by zero.
I haven't figured out the mathematical/physical ramifications of my discovery all the way, yet, but needless to say I feel a great responsibility to research its effects on reality before publishing my work.
Like I said, laugh away, but I've outpaced Einstein and Steven Hawking by discovering math they couldn't envision and I'm withholding my ideas until I'm ok with understanding what will happen to the public when I expect to release this new, outrageously simple but pretty damn profound teaching that will redefine our view of reality and space/time.
Again, laugh, but be ready to eat crow later.What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.