Skip to content

Pokimane and you are having a little chat in your mansion

    “Aha, Bartholemew, I had no idea you were so strong,” Pokimane teases, rubbing your bicep. You blush, and nervously smirk. “Well, what can I say? I’m just such a gym-head.” She laughs, offering a tantalizing look, her cerulean eyes contrasting sharply with the dim lighting of the largest bedroom in your mansion. “Well, I’ve always liked a real man,” she replies with a seductive smugness tinted with a sarcastic edge. It was as if she was saying: “God, I know I shouldn’t go through with this...but my body disagrees. Goddammit, Imane...” You start stroking her hips vertically, the tension now so palpable you could cut it with your abs. You near her ears and lick your lips. “You know what I like most about you, Ms. Anys?” Her heart rate surges, and her knees immediately tremble. She loved when you called her that: it gave her this sense of power-a sense of power she desperately wanted you to take from her. “Yeah, what is that Matthew?” she inquires shaking in pure delight, barely able to form a sentence. You grip her hips with your manly hands. She’s desperate to disguise her true feelings, but you both know that deep down, she’s undergoing nothing but pure euphoria. Every inch of her body is willing to give in to you, no matter how much she wants to hide it with her above-it-all pompoussness. “I like that you’re such a risk-taker,” you finish with a sensual peck on her hear. Oh my God. “I can’t do this to Hasan,” Poki’s conscious desperately tries to convince her-but a woman’s urges are a woman’s urges. And these urges are far more powerful than any sense of moral righteousness that she may desire. You start scratching at the jeans wrapped tightly wrapped around her thick, voluptuous right thigh. “This is happening, right here, right now!” you order, as your other hand starts unbuttoning her top without resistance. “Oh y-yes, daddy!” she responds, with a girlish stutter. “Yeah, something’s starting alright!” you hear a booming Turkish voice respond. Before you can turn your head, Hasan Piker beats the shit out of you, picks up Poki, and then spits on you. “Oh my God, Hasan, I’m so sorry!” He smirks. “Don’t worry about it, baby,” he said. “But I’m surprised you almost went through it-that guy was a fucking libertarian.” She couldn’t believe it. Oh my God, seriously?” she replies with disgust. “Yeah, and you know what we do to lib-“ before he could finish Pokimane drags your unconscious body to her front yard and runs you over with her ford carrola. “So much for the tolerant left,” you think, before it all blacks out.

    Minecraft, but he’s torturing my cock and balls

      Minecraft, but he's torturing my cock and balls. In this video, I have to beat Minecraft while my friend is torturing my cock and balls. He has a humbler, a stretcher and can actively kick them at any time he wishes. Can I beat the Ender Dragon before my testicles are ruptured? Watch to find out.

      If you want to be proud of a large animal you killed then you need to kill it with a spear.

        If you want to be proud of a large animal you killed then you need to kill it with a spear.

Seriously where is the challenge in killing a Buffalo with a high caliber rifle round from long range? Congrats, the animal never saw it coming! Your supersonic lead blew its brains out from 300 yards with the flick of a finger. Man the fuck up and fight the animal 1v1. It’s got horns, and you have got a spear. It has brawn, and you have brains. Test your agility against its brute strength. Cut its heart out and eat it raw. Then I might be impressed.

        AITA for asking my parents to read a piece I wrote, not warning them that it involves very sexual graphic depictions of cunnilingus?

          There’s two things you need to know about me: I’m a 24 year old man and I love eating pussy. Seriously it’s my favorite thing and unlike most males, I don’t have much interest in blowjobs or even sex. I’m also a writer and I realized I should stop trying to write the next great American novel and just write what I know....

So I wrote a nonfiction (but...flowery, I’d say) piece about eating pussy. It’s not porn, it’s like modern day Anais Nin type intellectual sexual content. It’s also very feminist because there are men out there (nay, boys) who still have childish hang ups about French kissing a woman’s delicate rose. Apologies for all my various euphemisms. Like I said I’m a writer.

My parents aren’t even conservative but they got really uncomfortable after I had them read my piece. My mom said it was a bit too much for her. I asked her which part, and she said all of it but specifically pointed to a line (copy paste): “I slither my tongue through her sumptuous flaps, lapping up her golden honey with fervor as I feel her stiffening turtles head poking into my nostril.” She and my dad have always been supportive of my writing but they said this was “private” and they’d rather not read any more stuff about my sex life.

I have to admit I’M a little offended because this is my art and I also believe this is the piece that might actually be something. My dad draws in his free time and this includes nude portraits of people we don’t even know....so how is that ok but my writing isn’t?

Alas. The perils of being in a family of creatives lol. Anyway who’s in the wrong?

          Angry g*mer from bangladesh

            Fam i'm 12 years old, and still smarter than you, and i'm from Bangladesh and live in England. I've been brought up in London for all my life and ive only been in Bangladesh on holidays. overall i've spent around 15 weeks there. i learned about Nazis a year ago and i'm all against them. There's also a game called Call Of Duty World War 2 where you go AGAINST the Nazis and fight in the American army. do you think i'm stupid and old enough (I'm 12 to remind you) to be a Nazi? You people are so jarring and you don't understand the impact of games and what they mean. I've always hated Nazis. why would you think a 12 year old gamer is a Nazi, you stupid bitch? Most of my life, I have spent gaming. This is not wasting my life and i play for fun. I am a Muslim and pray every day. I PRAY 5 TIMES A DAY AND YOU TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE AND HOW TO PRAY TO A DIFFERENT RELIGION YOU RACIST CUNT!? 5 TIMES IS THE AMOUNT YOU ARE MEANT TO PRAY AS A MUSLIM! I MAKE ALL THE PRAYERS GODDAMMIT.

            These guys are bullies, plain and simple.

              These guys are bullies, plain and simple. Most of them probably grew up without a father figure in their life and it shows.

You need to show them you're not afraid of them (or anything.)

Find a good tattoo/piercing artist in your town. Ask around for who's reputable because an infection is serious business.

Ask him about getting a glans piercing. The glans is the tip of the penis. It will hurt, though there may be numbing spray. It will be like a little metal rod through the pee-opening with two studs on the end.

Next you'll need a bike. A basic mountain bike will do but make sure the seat is adjustable incase your manhood (penis) isn't long enough to reach the front tire.

When you encounter one of these gangs whip out your pee-wee (penis) and let it rub on the spokes of your spinning bike wheel. This will sound like a motor bike (motorcycle) and will startle the thugs/bullies.

The vibrations from the stud on your glans (penis tip) will quickly make you climax/cum. Anyone who sees you cum will be scared of you and your penis tip.

This may sound crazy, but I'm serious. It's gotten me laid twice so far.