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Scott Steiner’s Math Promo Sacrifice

    You know they say that all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another wrestler, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me. Then you add Kurt Angle to the mix, your chances of winning drastic go down. See the 3 way, at Sacrifice, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning, but I, I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't beat me and he's not even gonna try!
    
    So Samoa Joe, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. See Joe, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice.

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      [overweight dad high on acid gyrates hips]
      
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      [a karen stabs her salad]
      
      [pregnant woman breaks both of her legs while inhaling milkshake]
      
      [overweight dad returns from acid trip and points at child]
      
      [child does dance]
      
      Get the food you love with perks from
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      Grub what you love
      Narrator: Grubhub perks give you deals on the food you love.
      
      The kind of deals that make you boogie.
      
      [music]
      
      
      Purple guy: *bites borger and dances*
      
      Sushi guys: *appear and eat the sushi*
      
      Sallad girl: *eats salad and stands up*
      
      Milkshake girl: *does the splits and sluprs milkshake*
      
      Everyone: *dances all at once*
      
      
      camera moves to purple guy and shows him dancing
      
      
      [music stops]
      
      
      camera changes to house and kid looks at purple guy
      
      
      purple guy: points at kid
      
      kid: says huh and blinks
      
      
      [music starts again]
      
      
      Kid: *dancing*
      
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      end

      British Lamar roast Franklin version

        "hello franklin clinton, my african american friend. may i enter your abode?"
        
        "wornk"
        
        "gasp. my african american friend. Do not hold distane for my for my attractive physique. Perhaps if you groomed yourself more elequently you would not find yourself a bachelor still. Even more so, perhaps the young lady you court would return your correspondance when she tires of the surgeon or magistrate she fancies. Saddle-goose!
        
        "what"
        
        "i will now show my middle finger on my left hand to signal that i would like you to stop talking to me as i walk away from your home in davis."

        White Lamar roasts Franklin

          D I N G U S
          Look here buddy, don't project your insecurities on me just cause you have a bad haircut. Maybe if you got it fixed girls would actually agree to go on dates with you for a change. Oh, or better yet maybe Tanish will call your dog butt if she ever stops messing with that brain surgeon or lawyer, or swimming pool cleaner, or marine biologist, or chiropractor, or police commissioner, or male stripper, or train conductor, or funeral director, or trailer park supervisor, or subway sandwich artist, or blackjack dealer, or costomer service rep, or gardener or k-pop raido DJ she's messing with. D I N G U S

          How They Do It: Plumbus

            Why does the plumbus looks kinda sexual?
            Today on How They Do It : Plumbuses.
            Everyone has a plumbus in their home. First they take the dingle bop and they smooth it out with a bunch of schleem. The schleem is then...repurposed for later batches.
            They take the dingle bop and they push it through the grumbo, where the fleeb is rubbed against it. It's important that the fleeb is rubbed, becasue the fleeb has all the fleeb juice.
            Then, a schlami shows up, and he rubs it...and spits on it.
            They cut the fleeb. There's several hizzards in the way.
            The blamfs rub against the chumbles, and the...plubis, and grumbo are shaved away.
            That leaves you with...a regular old plumbus.