Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Yesterday I was watching porn with my dog when I started doing the whip nae nae uncontrollably, after the seizure feeling was gone I quickly left to the doctors without even pausing the porn, he diagnosed me with whip nae nae, I ended up whip nae naeing home to find out the bastard dog was jerking his small dog penis without me, I beat him and did the whip nae nae on his corpse, I am now in prison for the disappearance of a child in 2017This was the second to last week of the school year, and my science class was doing an activity in groups. My group finished quick and the teacher brought us back to the main room. It’s about 5 kids and the teacher. Some kid is having a convo with the teacher and i’m on instagram.
Then i see this kid do a weird move in the corner of my eye. My undivided attention is now on this kid. It looks like he was pulling his pants down. Next thing i know, he’s full on jerking it. No shame, no attempt to hide it.
It’s obvious: he’s looking down and giving those telling facial expressions as his left hand (and he’s a lefty so it’s even more solidifying) is going ham down there. The webcam cut off at where his bellybutton would be, so i was luckily was spared from seeing e v e r y t h i n g.
Anyways, he goes at it, doesn’t even care if anyone sees him, he finishes with that head roll with closed eyes move. Then I could see the teacher, who appeared to be the only other one noticing. She had a look like “I don’t fucking believe this, but it’s weird to call him out.” So we both have this subtle wtf look, and this kid pulls up his pants and goes back to his monitor.
The best part of this whole situation is the fact that he had zero shame. Nada. He didn’t give a shit that he was jerking off in front of 5 people. When he goes back, I actually have my mouth open in shock at this point, but the teacher and i are still the only ones that even seem to notice.
The fact that no one gave a shit and this kid was one camera angle away from being a full on cam guy baffles me to this day.
If you’re the kid that jerked off in 7th period science and reading this, I fully expect extreme awkwardness if we have any classes next year.I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust. Thanks to my incredible goal i have obtained an iq of 156 which i have used to build a pc that deletes system 32 when it loads any type of NSFW. I’m currently in a hospital bed dying of terminal disease, however, this is a victory as in 72 hours i’m expected to die. Wish me luck in this final run.What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.Phineas pulled away from the intense, sensitive kiss, the corners of his mouth covered with messy saliva. It was his first. He had dreamed about this moment all of his teenage years. The adrenaline rushed to his stomach and bright cheeks in waves of warmth. He felt a bulge growing in his pants, chuckled softly, nuzzled his head and whispered “Hey Ferb..I think I know what we’re gonna do today.” A musical number faded in. Ferb leaned down to his stepbrother’s thin neck, coddling pockets of his skin in his mouth and sucking, nibbling, until a red mark was made. “I’m all yours, sir.” Phineas whispered, shaken. Ferb continued to paint his stepbrother’s body with marks of territory, settling his thumb in his prey’s mouth as Phineas lovingly sucked on it. Ferb grasped his non-blood relative’s hard triangular member and began to massage it. Suddenly, a rush of wind blew them from their moment. Candace walked out, screaming: “MOM, PHINEAS AND FERB ARE HAVING INCESTUAL RELATIONS!” but as the old tradition goes, everything was back to normal before their mother picked up any hint. Phineas speaks first. “Hey mom! Me and Ferb were wrestling. He won.” In a leathery, seductive, British voice Ferb speaks for the first and only time this episode: “Yes. Yes I did.” A final guitar riff marks the end of the sequence, and a commercial break begins.Listen. I hate cleaning toilets just as much as the next guy. But i have a trick. Listen closely. As I'm scrubbing the base of the toilet, i pretend i have a fetish for toilets. I know, sounds weird. But this works. Take your sponge and start moaning. This will enable your arousal senses. You will soon start to enjoy scrubbing away at it. I pretend my toilet is a big fat juicy badonkadonk and I'm giving it a feel. Visualize whatever you want. Soon you'll have urges to lick the toilet. Don't. Not yet. It isn't clean yet. Keep scrubbing away. Once your toilet is finally all nice and clean, go on, you deserve it.