Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years. That's 3,000 pennies a day, 21,000 pennies a week, 1,092,000 pennies a year. To date, that's 12,012,000 pennies. Eight times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies every day. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass pennies every day. All of you! You ALL handle my ass pennies! Oh, I'll laugh at you before you can laugh at me. Because your pennies have been in my ass.
This video was too long. Halfway through it, I got hungry so I left it playing and went to the kitchen to fix my self a sandwich. But then I found out that I'm out of mayonnaise so I went to a store. There, I saw the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my whole life. But I'm really a shy person so I took up a three-year personality development course so I can introduce my self. She was very friendly and all, but unfortunately, she has a boyfriend. So I said, all good, I'm a mature person. I want the best for her and I harbor no illusion that I am the best person for her and she seems happy with her boyfriend, so I did not bother her anymore. But we kept in touch and we became friends and I got over my crush on her. Then she broke up with her boyfriend, we drank some alcohol because of it, I told her she'll be fine and I wished her well. I still think she's the most beautiful woman in the world, but like I said, I am over my crush on her. It was like five years already when I first saw her. Besides, I am quiet happy with the friendship I developed with her. It was more important than a crush. So we kept hanging out, drinking, having coffee, and all. I had a girlfriend, she started dating other guys. My girlfriend wants to live some other life without me in it, so I said, okay, I want the best for you and I want you to pursue your happiness. My lady friend and I drank alcohol about it, and she gave me the same advice I gave her when she was in that position and I became okay with the breakup immediately. But we were really drunk, so she spent the night in my apartment. I only have one bed, so you know what that means: She took the bed and I slept on the couch. But on the couch, I really can't sleep. Something was bothering me. So I tossed and turned for about three hours, then I finally can't take it anymore, I stood up and went straight to my room where she's sleeping. I approached the bed, gently sat on it and I reached for her shoulder to pull her closer to me. She stirred and woke up. She asked what's up. I told her, you know, the first time I saw you, I was watching a video and left it playing to get my self a sandwich then went to the store to get some mayo then I got distracted by life that I forgot to finish the video. She said, you know what, I've been wondering about a weird noise in your night drawer. So we opened that drawer, and lo and behold, there's my phone and this video still has two minutes of play time on it.
After finishing his edit, he begins laughing heartily as he saves the changes to his previously tolerable comment. His chuckling comes to a steady end as he fully relaxes on his chair, closing his eyes. Suddenly, his eyes shoot open and his face violently straightens. He stands up, and fully extends his arms straight and outwards to his sides. His body begins slowly levitating upwards, seemingly breaking the very fundamental rules of reality itself. As he goes against all logic and reason with his vehement hovering, his eyelids drop and rise up again to reveal godly lights beaming from his eye sockets. A disembodied heavenly choir resonates from the abruptly omniscient man. A deific shock wave is fiercely expelled from his body, leveling his house and the surrounding neighborly architecture unworthy of his divine presence. Screams are heard from all directions, from both his family, neighbors, and bystanders walking by. Before continuing his ascent, his lips part to deliver one final message to the mere mortals surrounding him. "I HAVE ACHIEVED, MAXIMUM, COMEDIC, PERFORMANCE." He looks up, and with one swift movement, launches to the heavens, to properly acquire his ownership of the universe itself.
Yesterday I saw a white, windowless van saying "free candy" in spray paint. I love candy, especially free, so naturally I walk over to the van and knock on the window. The man came out and he looked quite old and strange, and he also smelt a bit like fish and sewage. But who am I to judge if I'm getting free candy right? He opened the back door and told me to come inside. Inside it was dark and it smelt like the bathroom after my dad's daily alone time. I felt the man touch my legs and feet when all of a sudden the lights turned on. I could see him crouched over next to me at a light switch and to my amazement there was the most candy I have ever seen in my life. The man smiled to reveal black and missing teeth, probably from the sugar in all of the candy. He told me to take as much as I want. After eating as much as my stomach could hold, I went home with my pockets filled with the candy. When i got home, my dad asked where have I been all this time so i told him the story. He then took me to my room and proceeded to fuck me in the ass
I go to the bathroom while me phone in my hand opened on pornhub, planing to beat my meat, so i open the bathroom looking at my phone and i go to the toilet and i see my brothers shit in the toilet unflushed and so i try to flush it while looking away and my phone falls into the toilet. I looked at my phone while it was open on pornhub and full of shit (literlly) i grabbed the tip of my phone and took it out, i washed it sanitized it the phone is okay but now everytime i open pornhub i think about my brother's shit.
. . . . . . . . .
And that's how I started jerking to hentai
"Communism rules!" he posts on Reddit on his $2000 MacBook Pro while playing Clash of Clans on a $1000 iPhone, stopping only to drink an $8 Frappelini Mochano Machiatto at Starbucks which provides free Wi-Fi utilizing privately-owned infrastructure at their own expense. A drip of coffee spills onto their $500 Ambercrombie and Fitch exclusive clothing. The Redditor is triggered; the pain of this PTSD-afflicting incident can only be resolved by downvoting every post on T_D and CringeAnarchy. Now calmed down, the Redditor makes a quick stop to the local hospital. He orders his 2 inch dick lopped off. For $10000, he is now the girl he always wanted to be. Thankfully, she had insurance due to Obamacare, so it wasn't her money that was spent. Later it goes to the bank. "I'd like a $20000 student loan." All of it goes to Bernie's campaign. Match them.
