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Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.


forgive english, i am Russia.

    What a country!
    forgive english, i am Russia.
    
    i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.
    
    We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.
    
    I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.

    Terminator morning ritual

      This pasta is over a decade old in case you're wondering
      I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.

      Please help, when I sneeze, it sounds like I’m saying the n-word

        Here it comes! His gonna say it!
        I'm not sure what to do. For my early life, it wasn't a huge deal. I lived in a mostly white family who didn't really care, and I stayed home from school when I was sick. But now that I'm in college, I'm terrified of what it could mean. Doctors won't help me. Every time I've asked, they think I'm making it up and doing it on purpose, and now that I've moved, my doctor is this 6ft tall african-american man. I haven't been to a check-up in over a year.
        
        It's causing trouble with school too. The first instance was in chemistry. The professor told me to pass out some bunsen burners from the cabinet to the rest of the students. I got up and opened the cabinet, but it was super dusty inside, and before I could help myself, a huge sneeze forced itself out of my body. "N*GGA!" sounded across the classroom, and I just froze. My cheeks heated up as everyone just stared at me. I quickly said that I needed to go get a tissue and ran from the classroom. I was forced to have a meeting with my professor later, where she was adamant that she wouldn't have that kind of language in her classroom. I tried to explain that it was an accident and I didn't even have a reason to say the n-word while sneezing and gathering bunsen burners, but she was already mad so I think she zeroed in on my word choice and thought that I was inferring that other times I DID have a reason to say it. I didn't get kicked out but nobody wanted to partner with me for the rest of the semester, and I feel like the professor was a bit harsher on test questions.
        
        The most recent event happened only yesterday, and I'm terrified of what it could mean. I was in line at the Chick-fil-A in the cafeteria, feeling like shit. I'd been sick for a day or two, and normally I don't go out because of my unique problem, but I was starving and just needed to grab a quick bite. Right as I got up to the counter, I felt a sneeze coming on, and knew I was screwed. Here's the thing. When I'm sick, the issue is 10x worse. The phlegm or something in my throat makes the n-word sound come out with a lower, R-sound at the end instead of the gasp that normally makes the A. So I'm standing there, about to order my 8pc nugget, when I spasm and unleash a full forced "N*GGER!" across the entire cafeteria. Everybody heard it. Literally everybody. The girl at the counter, who unfortunately was black, just looked so hurt and angry at the same time, not to mention I think I may have sneezed a little on her. I turned and bolted from the cafeteria. I ran straight back to my dorm; I saw a group of guys trying to follow me, but they couldn't get in to my specific dorm building. I recognized a few of them from my chemistry class. I've been in my dorm ever since. I'm terrified of leaving. I'm positive that if they see me again, they'll kick the shit out of me.
        
        So that's my problem. I'm not sure how to prove my innocence and I don't think I'll survive another semester at this rate.

        DO NOT JACK OFF IN A BATH

          Hold up, third bath this decade?
          So I was taking my third bath this decade today and I was feeling pretty horny and didn't want to wait to get out the bath, do I decided "well, no one is around so I might as well do a quick one" so yeah I did a quick one and my cum formed like fucking opaque bubbles, that shit was the coolest science experience ever dude they were all floaty and squishy to the touch and I just had a blast playing with them for like 5 seconds then I decided to exit the bath and clean myself off. The cum bubbles don't dissolve. THEY DON'T FUCKING DISSOLVE. So here I am sitting outside my bath waiting for it to drain so I can wipe away my soggy cum bubble remains in hopes that none of my family come to check on me

          Hey guys I’m not gay, I play football

            didn't say no homo so its gay
            Hey guys I'm not gay, I play football. I accidentally clicked this thread because I thought my mouse was hovered over the hot girls thread. Well, since I'm here I had a question let's say hypothetically I had gay thoughts (lol yea right) and I found my close friend attractive (ew gross) and one day we had sex in the back of my car after football practice (I would puke...the only thing I bang is chicks with big tits you know what I'm saying lol) but we didn't kiss. Would that be gay? We were wasted and while we were banging we kept calling each other fags. It's almost like a parody of when we bang chicks (remember this didn't happen). So that wouldn't make me gay right? Just a jokester?

            I can’t stop having sex with instant noodles

              copypasta will not be called copyramen to be more inclusive
              Open Text Version
              Yeah, you read that right. I can't stop having sex with Instant Ramen Noodles. It's really fucked up to be completely honest, and it all started when my boyfriend suggested we start experimenting a bit in the bedroom. I suggested we try anal, after all I’ve been hinting lately that I’ve been yearning for him to shove his seven inch cock into my tight bleached asshole. I'd be such a good anal slut for him. But that’s not nearly what he suggested instead. He wanted to face fuck me while I had my mouth full of Instant Ramen noodles. At first I thought there was no way I’d ever do it. I yelled in protest, how dare he think I’d ever do that? I mean, it’s not like I’m a prude, I fuck him silly in each and every way he desires. But like this, no, there’s no way. That was until he brought home some Tonkotsu Instant Ramen noodles. He spent all night preparing it. The noodles were cooked to perfection, a half marinated egg succulently placed in the authentic Japanese bowl, topped with seaweed sheets and seasoning. It was the perfect bowl of ramen. So I sat down at the kitchen and started to eat. Fuck me it was delicious. That was until he started to take off his pants. No! I protested, this was way too far. But it was too late, my mouth was full and his dick was hard. He proceeded to slowly penetrate my mouth. I gasped to air but all that came in was the taste of tonkotsu broth, and the faint taste of my boyfriends eager precum. I was stunned, stuffed and starting to get horny. How was this turning me on I thought? I couldn’t understand. Maybe it was the hard dick sliding down my throat, or the delicious ramen, maybe a combination of the two. It was all so tantalizingly exciting. I started to swallow the ramen and my boyfriend yelled out in ecstasy. I continued to slurp down my noodles again, and he lurched forward shoving his cock further down my tightening throat. I told him to fuck me harder as I took another bite of my delicious ramen, and instantly he came. There was cum all over the inside of my mouth. The mixture combined with the ramen can only be described as exquisite. Salty, smooth and rich with flavor. Days pass. Then months. We never spoke of that day since. I think we both knew we had gone too far. There are limits after all. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the taste of the ramen and cum in my mouth. At work one day I decided I would go to my local ramen shop and take home a new flavor. I got home and as I got through the door my pants were already coming off. I was dripping wet, and horny as hell. I lay starfish on my bed and began to pour the ramen all over my body. It was so warm and burned my body but I didn’t care, I just wanted the salty foreign mixture all over my tight and firm body. I shoved my tiny fingers deep into my tight pussy and masturbated for hours. I was in total and pure ecstasy. That was until my boyfriend came through the door. I was shocked to see him home so early, and he was too, for the sight he came upon could only be described as disastrously unique. It only took seconds for him to become instantly rock hard. I could see his muscles twitch as he gazed upon me all wet and dripping with ramen. His pants flew off and he mounted on top of me. Neither of us cared at this point that the ramen had cooled. It didn’t matter anymore. We just wanted this moment. The sex lasted for hours, and I came many, many times. Right as my boyfriend began to climax deep inside my pussy I pushed him off. What the fuck was I doing? What the actual fuck was I doing? Everyone knows that this is the last situation a deep southern Texas girl like me wanted to happen. My dad had warned me this day might come the day he walked in on me watching Hentai and twiddling my bean. "Jessie, you know, never have sex with ramen noodles nearby, that’s how you get pregnant with one of those damn Asians, and damn you know whattle happen to you if that happens" Fuck you dad, you racist fuck. I wanted this anyway. I needed this anyway. I was ready. I was primed to go. My boyfriend climbed back on and finished deep inside my pussy. It was beautiful. Nine months later I gave birth to my first child ファック私の愚かなパパ chan, he’s a great little kid and I love him so much. Three years pass and now I’m on my third Japanese child. How did this go so far? That’s when the Japanese government called me. They wanted to being me in for questioning. They wanted me to help them rebuild the dwindling Japanese population. It's a serious problem for them and they desperately needed my help. The foreign minister I spoke with even mentioned free Hentai and ramen for the rest of my life. How could I ever say no? So I moved my pretty little ass to Japan and have been living here since. I love my life here. Every day me and my boyfriend go to a new Ramen shop and purchase our daily bowl. We then take a beautiful walk through our local park, admire the trees and grass. My boyfriend always remembers to bring bread for the local ducks. We named one Guss, we both love Guss and remember to see him every day. He's a good little duck. We then head back to our home, take off all our cloths and proceed to pour our bowl of ramen over each of our bodies. He fucks me like no one else. I cum, then I cum again, and again, and again. It's never felt like chore for me. And my boyfriend loves it more than life itself. Before we finish we remember to shove a tiny bit of ramen deep inside me before my boyfriend finishes. I don't think this is the life for me though. It eats me up inside that all I’m capable in life is breeding little Japanese babies through sex with ramen noodles. I think I’m more capable than that. I want out. I want a change. Can you help me? Can you help me from the life I’ve created? I don't want to be a ramen breeder anymore. I don't know where to turn. I don't know where to go.
              Open Emojipasta Version
              Yeah, you 👈 read 📘 that 😐 right. 👌 I 👁 can't 🚫 stop 🚫 having 👬 sex 🍆 with 👏 Instant Ramen 🍜 Noodles. 💯 It's 🕛 really 😍 fucked 😩 up 🔺 to 💦 be 🐝 completely 😡 honest, 😇 and 👏 it 💯 all 💯 started 💢 when 🍑 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 suggested we 👥 start 🔘 experimenting a 👌 bit 😁 in 👏 the 👏 bedroom. I 👁 suggested we 👥 try 😐 anal, 🍑 after 👀 all 💯 I’ve 👏 been 👏 hinting lately that 😐 I’ve 👏 been 👏 yearning 😡 for 🍆 him 👴 to 💦 shove 😠 his 💦 seven 🔥 inch 📏 cock 🍆 into 👉 my 👨 tight 👉 bleached 💦 asshole. 🍑 I'd 🙏 be 🐝 such 😳 a 👌 good 👌 anal 🍑 slut 😈 for 🍆 him. 👴 But 🍑 that’s 💪 not 🚫 nearly 👣 what 😦 he 👨 suggested instead. He wanted 😍 to 💦 face 😀 fuck 🍆 me 😭 while 🕗 I 👁 had 💋 my 👨 mouth 💋 full 🌝 of 💦 Instant Ramen 🍜 noodles. At first 👆 I 👁 thought 💭 there 👌 was 👏 no 🙅 way 💫 I’d 😗 ever 😠 do 👌 it. 💯 I 👁 yelled in 👏 protest, how 💯 dare he 👨 think 💭 I’d 😗 ever 😠 do 👌 that? 😐 I 👁 mean, 😏 it’s 💀 not 🚫 like 💖 I’m 👌 a 👌 prude, I 👁 fuck 🍆 him 👴 silly 🙃 in 👏 each 👏 and 👏 every 👏 way 💫 he 👨 desires. But 🍑 like 💖 this, 👈 no, 🙅 there’s 💩 no 🙅 way. That was 👏 until 🙄 he 👨 brought home 🏡 some 👨 Tonkotsu Instant Ramen 🍜 noodles. 💯 He 👨 spent 😵 all 💯 night 🌙 preparing it. 💯 The 👏 noodles 💯 were 👶 cooked 🍳 to 💦 perfection, a 👌 half 💀 marinated egg 🍳 succulently placed in 👏 the 👏 authentic Japanese bowl, 🍀 topped with 👏 seaweed sheets 👉 and 👏 seasoning. It 💯 was 👏 the 👏 perfect 💯 bowl 🍀 of 💦 ramen. 🍜 So 💯 I 👁 sat down 🔻 at 🍆 the 👏 kitchen 🐶 and 👏 started 💢 to 💦 eat. 👉 Fuck 🍆 me 😭 it 💯 was 👏 delicious. That was 👏 until 🙄 he 👨 started 💢 to 💦 take 👊 off 📴 his 💦 pants. 👖 No! 🙅 I 👁 protested, this 👈 was 👏 way 💫 too 😡 far. 🌌 But 🍑 it 💯 was 👏 too 😡 late, 💤 my 👨 mouth 💋 was 👏 full 🌝 and 👏 his 💦 dick 🍆 was 👏 hard. 🍆 He 👨 proceeded to 💦 slowly 🐌 penetrate 👉 my 👨 mouth. 💋 I 👁 gasped 😫 to 💦 air 💨 but 🍑 all 💯 that 😐 came 💦 in 👏 was 👏 the 👏 taste 👅 of 💦 tonkotsu broth, and 👏 the 👏 faint taste 👅 of 💦 my 👨 boyfriends 👬 eager precum. 💦 I 👁 was 👏 stunned, stuffed 😜 and 👏 starting 😫 to 💦 get 🔟 horny. How was 👏 this 👈 turning 🔄 me 😭 on 🔛 I 👁 thought? 💭 I 👁 couldn’t 😲 understand. 📚 Maybe 👏 it 💯 was 👏 the 👏 hard 🍆 dick 🍆 sliding down 🔻 my 👨 throat, 😝 or 💁 the 👏 delicious 😝 ramen, 🍜 maybe 👏 a 👌 combination 🔗 of 💦 the 👏 two. 💏 It 💯 was 👏 all 💯 so 💯 tantalizingly exciting. 💦 I 👁 started 💢 to 💦 swallow the 👏 ramen 🍜 and 👏 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 yelled out 💯 in 👏 ecstasy. I 👁 continued to 💦 slurp 😝 down 🔻 my 👨 noodles 💯 again, 😬 and 👏 he 👨 lurched forward 📲 shoving his 💦 cock 🍆 further 😵 down 🔻 my 👨 tightening throat. 😝 I 👁 told 🗣 him 👴 to 💦 fuck 🍆 me 😭 harder 💥 as 🍑 I 👁 took 👫 another 🔄 bite 😈 of 💦 my 👨 delicious 😝 ramen, 🍜 and 👏 instantly he 👨 came. 💦 There 👌 was 👏 cum 💦 all 💯 over 👏 the 👏 inside 💠 of 💦 my 👨 mouth. 💋 The 👏 mixture combined with 👏 the 👏 ramen 🍜 can 💦 only 🕦 be 🐝 described as 🍑 exquisite. 😍 Salty, 😋 smooth 😭 and 👏 rich 💲 with 👏 flavor. 😵 Days 📆 pass. 💯 Then 😮 months. 📆 We 👥 never 🙅 spoke of 💦 that 😐 day 🌞 since. 👨 I 👁 think 💭 we 👥 both 🌜 knew 👓 we 👥 had 💋 gone 🏃 too 😡 far. 🌌 There 👌 are 🔢 limits 💃 after 👀 all. But I 👁 couldn’t 😲 stop 🚫 thinking 💭 about 💦 the 👏 taste 👅 of 💦 the 👏 ramen 🍜 and 👏 cum 💦 in 👏 my 👨 mouth. 💋 At 🍆 work 🏢 one 😤 day 🌞 I 👁 decided 👯 I 👁 would 👪 go 🏃 to 💦 my 👨 local 📰 ramen 🍜 shop 🏢 and 👏 take 👊 home 🏡 a 👌 new 👌 flavor. I got 🍸 home 🏡 and 👏 as 🍑 I 👁 got 🍸 through 😩 the 👏 door 🚪 my 👨 pants 👖 were 👶 already 👋 coming 💦 off. 📴 I 👁 was 👏 dripping 🌧 wet, 💦 and 👏 horny 😉 as 🍑 hell. 🔥 I 👁 lay 💏 starfish on 🔛 my 👨 bed 🛏 and 👏 began 🔘 to 💦 pour the 👏 ramen 🍜 all 💯 over 👏 my 👨 body. 💃 It 💯 was 👏 so 💯 warm 🔥 and 👏 burned 🔥 my 👨 body 💃 but 🍑 I 👁 didn’t 👏 care, 💅 I 👁 just 👏 wanted 😍 the 👏 salty 😋 foreign mixture all 💯 over 👏 my 👨 tight 👉 and 👏 firm 🚬 body. 💃 I 👁 shoved my 👨 tiny 😑 fingers deep 😱 into 👉 my 👨 tight 👉 pussy 🐱 and 👏 masturbated 🍆 for 🍆 hours. 🕐 I 👁 was 👏 in 👏 total 💯 and 👏 pure 😩 ecstasy. That was 👏 until 🙄 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 came 💦 through 😩 the 👏 door. 🚪 I 👁 was 👏 shocked to 💦 see 👀 him 👴 home 🏡 so 💯 early, 🕐 and 👏 he 👨 was 👏 too, 😡 for 🍆 the 👏 sight he 👨 came 💦 upon 👦 could 🔒 only 🕦 be 🐝 described as 🍑 disastrously 😱 unique. It 💯 only 🕦 took 👫 seconds 🕑 for 🍆 him 👴 to 💦 become 😌 instantly rock 🗿 hard. 🍆 I 👁 could 🔒 see 👀 his 💦 muscles twitch as 🍑 he 👨 gazed upon 👦 me 😭 all 💯 wet 💦 and 👏 dripping 🌧 with 👏 ramen. 🍜 His 💦 pants 👖 flew off 📴 and 👏 he 👨 mounted on 🔛 top 🔝 of 💦 me. 😭 Neither of 💦 us 👨 cared 😍 at 🍆 this 👈 point 📍 that 😐 the 👏 ramen 🍜 had 💋 cooled. It 💯 didn’t 👏 matter 🙅 anymore. 🔥 We 👥 just 👏 wanted 😍 this 👈 moment. The sex 🍆 lasted for 🍆 hours, 🕐 and 👏 I 👁 came 💦 many, 👬 many 👬 times. 🕒 Right 👌 as 🍑 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 began 🔘 to 💦 climax 😰 deep 😱 inside 💠 my 👨 pussy 🐱 I 👁 pushed him 👴 off. 📴 What 😦 the 👏 fuck 🍆 was 👏 I 👁 doing? 📌 What 😦 the 👏 actual fuck 🍆 was 👏 I 👁 doing? 📌 Everyone 👥 knows 👃 that 😐 this 👈 is 💦 the 👏 last 😍 situation 🎮 a 👌 deep 😱 southern Texas girl 👧 like 💖 me 😭 wanted 😍 to 💦 happen. 😱 My 👨 dad 👴 had 💋 warned 😤 me 😭 this 👈 day 🌞 might 🔍 come 💦 the 👏 day 🌞 he 👨 walked 🚶 in 👏 on 🔛 me 😭 watching 👀 Hentai 👯 and 👏 twiddling my 👨 bean. "Jessie, you 👈 know, 💭 never 🙅 have 👏 sex 🍆 with 👏 ramen 🍜 noodles 💯 nearby, that’s 💪 how 💯 you 👈 get 🔟 pregnant 🍆 with 👏 one 😤 of 💦 those 🐥 damn 😤 Asians, 👌 and 👏 damn 😤 you 👈 know 💭 whattle happen 😱 to 💦 you 👈 if 👏 that 😐 happens" Fuck you 👈 dad, 👴 you 👈 racist fuck. 🍆 I 👁 wanted 😍 this 👈 anyway. 🔛 I 👁 needed this 👈 anyway. 🔛 I 👁 was 👏 ready. 😏 I 👁 was 👏 primed to 💦 go. 🏃 My 👨 boyfriend 👬 climbed back 🔙 on 🔛 and 👏 finished 👅 deep 😱 inside 💠 my 👨 pussy. 🐱 It 💯 was 👏 beautiful. 🌄 Nine 🍆 months 📆 later 🕑 I 👁 gave 🎁 birth 👑 to 💦 my 👨 first 👆 child 👦 ファック私の愚かなパパ chan, he’s 👨 a 👌 great 👍 little 👌 kid 👦 and 👏 I 👁 love 😍 him 👴 so 💯 much. Three years 📅 pass 💯 and 👏 now 👋 I’m 👌 on 🔛 my 👨 third Japanese child. 👦 How 💯 did 👏 this 👈 go 🏃 so 💯 far? 🌌 That’s 💪 when 🍑 the 👏 Japanese government 💩 called 📲 me. 😭 They 👥 wanted 😍 to 💦 being 😑 me 😭 in 👏 for 🍆 questioning. They 👥 wanted 😍 me 😭 to 💦 help 💁 them 💦 rebuild the 👏 dwindling Japanese population. It's 🕛 a 👌 serious 😐 problem 😊 for 🍆 them 💦 and 👏 they 👥 desperately needed my 👨 help. 💁 The 👏 foreign minister I 👁 spoke with 👏 even 🌃 mentioned free 💜 Hentai 👯 and 👏 ramen 🍜 for 🍆 the 👏 rest 😪 of 💦 my 👨 life. 👤 How 💯 could 🔒 I 👁 ever 👏 say 🗣 no? So I 👁 moved 📦 my 👨 pretty 👰 little 👌 ass 🍑 to 💦 Japan 🍣 and 👏 have 👏 been 👏 living 🐙 here 👏 since. 👨 I 👁 love 😍 my 👨 life 👤 here. 👏 Every 👏 day 🌞 me 😭 and 👏 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 go 🏃 to 💦 a 👌 new 👌 Ramen 🍜 shop 🏢 and 👏 purchase 🛒 our 💩 daily 🕢 bowl. 🍀 We 👥 then 😮 take 👊 a 👌 beautiful 🌄 walk 👣 through 😩 our 💩 local 📰 park, 🌲 admire the 👏 trees 🌲 and 👏 grass. 🌱 My 👨 boyfriend 👬 always 🔥 remembers 🐘 to 💦 bring 🚶 bread 🍞 for 🍆 the 👏 local 📰 ducks. We 👥 named 📛 one 😤 Guss, we 👥 both 🌜 love 😍 Guss and 👏 remember 💭 to 💦 see 👀 him 👴 every 👏 day. 🌞 He's 👦 a 👌 good 👌 little 👌 duck. We then 😮 head 💆 back 🔙 to 💦 our 💩 home, 🏡 take 👊 off 📴 all 💯 our 💩 cloths and 👏 proceed to 💦 pour our 💩 bowl 🍀 of 💦 ramen 🍜 over 👏 each 👏 of 💦 our 💩 bodies. 😍 He 👨 fucks 😤 me 😭 like 💖 no 🙅 one 😤 else. 😩 I 👁 cum, 💦 then 😮 I 👁 cum 💦 again, 😬 and 👏 again, 😬 and 👏 again. 😬 It's 🕛 never 🙅 felt 😎 like 💖 chore 👷 for 🍆 me. 😭 And 👏 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 loves 💘 it 💯 more 🍗 than 👉 life 👤 itself. 🚝 Before 😂 we 👥 finish 🏁 we 👥 remember 💭 to 💦 shove 😠 a 👌 tiny 😑 bit 😁 of 💦 ramen 🍜 deep 😱 inside 💠 me 😭 before 😂 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 finishes. I 👁 don't 🚫 think 💭 this 👈 is 💦 the 👏 life 👤 for 🍆 me 😭 though. It 💯 eats me 😭 up 🔺 inside 💠 that 😐 all 💯 I’m 👌 capable 😡 in 👏 life 👤 is 💦 breeding little 👌 Japanese babies 👶 through 😩 sex 🍆 with 👏 ramen 🍜 noodles. 💯 I 👁 think 💭 I’m 👌 more 🍗 capable 😡 than 👉 that. 😐 I 👁 want 👏 out. 💯 I 👁 want 👏 a 👌 change. Can you 👈 help 💁 me? 😭 Can 💦 you 👈 help 💁 me 😭 from 👉 the 👏 life 👤 I’ve 👏 created? 💯 I 👁 don't 🚫 want 👏 to 💦 be 🐝 a 👌 ramen 🍜 breeder anymore. 🔥 I 👁 don't 🚫 know 💭 where 😐 to 💦 turn. 💃 I 👁 don't 🚫 know 💭 where 😐 to 💦 go.