Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Hey guys I'm not gay, I play football. I accidentally clicked this thread because I thought my mouse was hovered over the hot girls thread. Well, since I'm here I had a question let's say hypothetically I had gay thoughts (lol yea right) and I found my close friend attractive (ew gross) and one day we had sex in the back of my car after football practice (I would puke...the only thing I bang is chicks with big tits you know what I'm saying lol) but we didn't kiss. Would that be gay? We were wasted and while we were banging we kept calling each other fags. It's almost like a parody of when we bang chicks (remember this didn't happen). So that wouldn't make me gay right? Just a jokester?
Yeah, you read that right. I can't stop having sex with Instant Ramen Noodles. It's really fucked up to be completely honest, and it all started when my boyfriend suggested we start experimenting a bit in the bedroom. I suggested we try anal, after all I’ve been hinting lately that I’ve been yearning for him to shove his seven inch cock into my tight bleached asshole. I'd be such a good anal slut for him. But that’s not nearly what he suggested instead. He wanted to face fuck me while I had my mouth full of Instant Ramen noodles. At first I thought there was no way I’d ever do it. I yelled in protest, how dare he think I’d ever do that? I mean, it’s not like I’m a prude, I fuck him silly in each and every way he desires. But like this, no, there’s no way. That was until he brought home some Tonkotsu Instant Ramen noodles. He spent all night preparing it. The noodles were cooked to perfection, a half marinated egg succulently placed in the authentic Japanese bowl, topped with seaweed sheets and seasoning. It was the perfect bowl of ramen. So I sat down at the kitchen and started to eat. Fuck me it was delicious. That was until he started to take off his pants. No! I protested, this was way too far. But it was too late, my mouth was full and his dick was hard. He proceeded to slowly penetrate my mouth. I gasped to air but all that came in was the taste of tonkotsu broth, and the faint taste of my boyfriends eager precum. I was stunned, stuffed and starting to get horny. How was this turning me on I thought? I couldn’t understand. Maybe it was the hard dick sliding down my throat, or the delicious ramen, maybe a combination of the two. It was all so tantalizingly exciting. I started to swallow the ramen and my boyfriend yelled out in ecstasy. I continued to slurp down my noodles again, and he lurched forward shoving his cock further down my tightening throat. I told him to fuck me harder as I took another bite of my delicious ramen, and instantly he came. There was cum all over the inside of my mouth. The mixture combined with the ramen can only be described as exquisite. Salty, smooth and rich with flavor. Days pass. Then months. We never spoke of that day since. I think we both knew we had gone too far. There are limits after all. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the taste of the ramen and cum in my mouth. At work one day I decided I would go to my local ramen shop and take home a new flavor. I got home and as I got through the door my pants were already coming off. I was dripping wet, and horny as hell. I lay starfish on my bed and began to pour the ramen all over my body. It was so warm and burned my body but I didn’t care, I just wanted the salty foreign mixture all over my tight and firm body. I shoved my tiny fingers deep into my tight pussy and masturbated for hours. I was in total and pure ecstasy. That was until my boyfriend came through the door. I was shocked to see him home so early, and he was too, for the sight he came upon could only be described as disastrously unique. It only took seconds for him to become instantly rock hard. I could see his muscles twitch as he gazed upon me all wet and dripping with ramen. His pants flew off and he mounted on top of me. Neither of us cared at this point that the ramen had cooled. It didn’t matter anymore. We just wanted this moment. The sex lasted for hours, and I came many, many times. Right as my boyfriend began to climax deep inside my pussy I pushed him off. What the fuck was I doing? What the actual fuck was I doing? Everyone knows that this is the last situation a deep southern Texas girl like me wanted to happen. My dad had warned me this day might come the day he walked in on me watching Hentai and twiddling my bean. "Jessie, you know, never have sex with ramen noodles nearby, that’s how you get pregnant with one of those damn Asians, and damn you know whattle happen to you if that happens" Fuck you dad, you racist fuck. I wanted this anyway. I needed this anyway. I was ready. I was primed to go. My boyfriend climbed back on and finished deep inside my pussy. It was beautiful. Nine months later I gave birth to my first child ファック私の愚かなパパ chan, he’s a great little kid and I love him so much. Three years pass and now I’m on my third Japanese child. How did this go so far? That’s when the Japanese government called me. They wanted to being me in for questioning. They wanted me to help them rebuild the dwindling Japanese population. It's a serious problem for them and they desperately needed my help. The foreign minister I spoke with even mentioned free Hentai and ramen for the rest of my life. How could I ever say no? So I moved my pretty little ass to Japan and have been living here since. I love my life here. Every day me and my boyfriend go to a new Ramen shop and purchase our daily bowl. We then take a beautiful walk through our local park, admire the trees and grass. My boyfriend always remembers to bring bread for the local ducks. We named one Guss, we both love Guss and remember to see him every day. He's a good little duck. We then head back to our home, take off all our cloths and proceed to pour our bowl of ramen over each of our bodies. He fucks me like no one else. I cum, then I cum again, and again, and again. It's never felt like chore for me. And my boyfriend loves it more than life itself. Before we finish we remember to shove a tiny bit of ramen deep inside me before my boyfriend finishes. I don't think this is the life for me though. It eats me up inside that all I’m capable in life is breeding little Japanese babies through sex with ramen noodles. I think I’m more capable than that. I want out. I want a change. Can you help me? Can you help me from the life I’ve created? I don't want to be a ramen breeder anymore. I don't know where to turn. I don't know where to go.
Open Emojipasta VersionClose
Yeah, you 👈 read 📘 that 😐 right. 👌 I 👁 can't 🚫 stop 🚫 having 👬 sex 🍆 with 👏 Instant Ramen 🍜 Noodles. 💯 It's 🕛 really 😍 fucked 😩 up 🔺 to 💦 be 🐝 completely 😡 honest, 😇 and 👏 it 💯 all 💯 started 💢 when 🍑 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 suggested we 👥 start 🔘 experimenting a 👌 bit 😁 in 👏 the 👏 bedroom. I 👁 suggested we 👥 try 😐 anal, 🍑 after 👀 all 💯 I’ve 👏 been 👏 hinting lately that 😐 I’ve 👏 been 👏 yearning 😡 for 🍆 him 👴 to 💦 shove 😠 his 💦 seven 🔥 inch 📏 cock 🍆 into 👉 my 👨 tight 👉 bleached 💦 asshole. 🍑 I'd 🙏 be 🐝 such 😳 a 👌 good 👌 anal 🍑 slut 😈 for 🍆 him. 👴 But 🍑 that’s 💪 not 🚫 nearly 👣 what 😦 he 👨 suggested instead. He wanted 😍 to 💦 face 😀 fuck 🍆 me 😭 while 🕗 I 👁 had 💋 my 👨 mouth 💋 full 🌝 of 💦 Instant Ramen 🍜 noodles. At first 👆 I 👁 thought 💭 there 👌 was 👏 no 🙅 way 💫 I’d 😗 ever 😠 do 👌 it. 💯 I 👁 yelled in 👏 protest, how 💯 dare he 👨 think 💭 I’d 😗 ever 😠 do 👌 that? 😐 I 👁 mean, 😏 it’s 💀 not 🚫 like 💖 I’m 👌 a 👌 prude, I 👁 fuck 🍆 him 👴 silly 🙃 in 👏 each 👏 and 👏 every 👏 way 💫 he 👨 desires. But 🍑 like 💖 this, 👈 no, 🙅 there’s 💩 no 🙅 way. That was 👏 until 🙄 he 👨 brought home 🏡 some 👨 Tonkotsu Instant Ramen 🍜 noodles. 💯 He 👨 spent 😵 all 💯 night 🌙 preparing it. 💯 The 👏 noodles 💯 were 👶 cooked 🍳 to 💦 perfection, a 👌 half 💀 marinated egg 🍳 succulently placed in 👏 the 👏 authentic Japanese bowl, 🍀 topped with 👏 seaweed sheets 👉 and 👏 seasoning. It 💯 was 👏 the 👏 perfect 💯 bowl 🍀 of 💦 ramen. 🍜 So 💯 I 👁 sat down 🔻 at 🍆 the 👏 kitchen 🐶 and 👏 started 💢 to 💦 eat. 👉 Fuck 🍆 me 😭 it 💯 was 👏 delicious. That was 👏 until 🙄 he 👨 started 💢 to 💦 take 👊 off 📴 his 💦 pants. 👖 No! 🙅 I 👁 protested, this 👈 was 👏 way 💫 too 😡 far. 🌌 But 🍑 it 💯 was 👏 too 😡 late, 💤 my 👨 mouth 💋 was 👏 full 🌝 and 👏 his 💦 dick 🍆 was 👏 hard. 🍆 He 👨 proceeded to 💦 slowly 🐌 penetrate 👉 my 👨 mouth. 💋 I 👁 gasped 😫 to 💦 air 💨 but 🍑 all 💯 that 😐 came 💦 in 👏 was 👏 the 👏 taste 👅 of 💦 tonkotsu broth, and 👏 the 👏 faint taste 👅 of 💦 my 👨 boyfriends 👬 eager precum. 💦 I 👁 was 👏 stunned, stuffed 😜 and 👏 starting 😫 to 💦 get 🔟 horny. How was 👏 this 👈 turning 🔄 me 😭 on 🔛 I 👁 thought? 💭 I 👁 couldn’t 😲 understand. 📚 Maybe 👏 it 💯 was 👏 the 👏 hard 🍆 dick 🍆 sliding down 🔻 my 👨 throat, 😝 or 💁 the 👏 delicious 😝 ramen, 🍜 maybe 👏 a 👌 combination 🔗 of 💦 the 👏 two. 💏 It 💯 was 👏 all 💯 so 💯 tantalizingly exciting. 💦 I 👁 started 💢 to 💦 swallow the 👏 ramen 🍜 and 👏 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 yelled out 💯 in 👏 ecstasy. I 👁 continued to 💦 slurp 😝 down 🔻 my 👨 noodles 💯 again, 😬 and 👏 he 👨 lurched forward 📲 shoving his 💦 cock 🍆 further 😵 down 🔻 my 👨 tightening throat. 😝 I 👁 told 🗣 him 👴 to 💦 fuck 🍆 me 😭 harder 💥 as 🍑 I 👁 took 👫 another 🔄 bite 😈 of 💦 my 👨 delicious 😝 ramen, 🍜 and 👏 instantly he 👨 came. 💦 There 👌 was 👏 cum 💦 all 💯 over 👏 the 👏 inside 💠 of 💦 my 👨 mouth. 💋 The 👏 mixture combined with 👏 the 👏 ramen 🍜 can 💦 only 🕦 be 🐝 described as 🍑 exquisite. 😍 Salty, 😋 smooth 😭 and 👏 rich 💲 with 👏 flavor. 😵 Days 📆 pass. 💯 Then 😮 months. 📆 We 👥 never 🙅 spoke of 💦 that 😐 day 🌞 since. 👨 I 👁 think 💭 we 👥 both 🌜 knew 👓 we 👥 had 💋 gone 🏃 too 😡 far. 🌌 There 👌 are 🔢 limits 💃 after 👀 all. But I 👁 couldn’t 😲 stop 🚫 thinking 💭 about 💦 the 👏 taste 👅 of 💦 the 👏 ramen 🍜 and 👏 cum 💦 in 👏 my 👨 mouth. 💋 At 🍆 work 🏢 one 😤 day 🌞 I 👁 decided 👯 I 👁 would 👪 go 🏃 to 💦 my 👨 local 📰 ramen 🍜 shop 🏢 and 👏 take 👊 home 🏡 a 👌 new 👌 flavor. I got 🍸 home 🏡 and 👏 as 🍑 I 👁 got 🍸 through 😩 the 👏 door 🚪 my 👨 pants 👖 were 👶 already 👋 coming 💦 off. 📴 I 👁 was 👏 dripping 🌧 wet, 💦 and 👏 horny 😉 as 🍑 hell. 🔥 I 👁 lay 💏 starfish on 🔛 my 👨 bed 🛏 and 👏 began 🔘 to 💦 pour the 👏 ramen 🍜 all 💯 over 👏 my 👨 body. 💃 It 💯 was 👏 so 💯 warm 🔥 and 👏 burned 🔥 my 👨 body 💃 but 🍑 I 👁 didn’t 👏 care, 💅 I 👁 just 👏 wanted 😍 the 👏 salty 😋 foreign mixture all 💯 over 👏 my 👨 tight 👉 and 👏 firm 🚬 body. 💃 I 👁 shoved my 👨 tiny 😑 fingers deep 😱 into 👉 my 👨 tight 👉 pussy 🐱 and 👏 masturbated 🍆 for 🍆 hours. 🕐 I 👁 was 👏 in 👏 total 💯 and 👏 pure 😩 ecstasy. That was 👏 until 🙄 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 came 💦 through 😩 the 👏 door. 🚪 I 👁 was 👏 shocked to 💦 see 👀 him 👴 home 🏡 so 💯 early, 🕐 and 👏 he 👨 was 👏 too, 😡 for 🍆 the 👏 sight he 👨 came 💦 upon 👦 could 🔒 only 🕦 be 🐝 described as 🍑 disastrously 😱 unique. It 💯 only 🕦 took 👫 seconds 🕑 for 🍆 him 👴 to 💦 become 😌 instantly rock 🗿 hard. 🍆 I 👁 could 🔒 see 👀 his 💦 muscles twitch as 🍑 he 👨 gazed upon 👦 me 😭 all 💯 wet 💦 and 👏 dripping 🌧 with 👏 ramen. 🍜 His 💦 pants 👖 flew off 📴 and 👏 he 👨 mounted on 🔛 top 🔝 of 💦 me. 😭 Neither of 💦 us 👨 cared 😍 at 🍆 this 👈 point 📍 that 😐 the 👏 ramen 🍜 had 💋 cooled. It 💯 didn’t 👏 matter 🙅 anymore. 🔥 We 👥 just 👏 wanted 😍 this 👈 moment. The sex 🍆 lasted for 🍆 hours, 🕐 and 👏 I 👁 came 💦 many, 👬 many 👬 times. 🕒 Right 👌 as 🍑 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 began 🔘 to 💦 climax 😰 deep 😱 inside 💠 my 👨 pussy 🐱 I 👁 pushed him 👴 off. 📴 What 😦 the 👏 fuck 🍆 was 👏 I 👁 doing? 📌 What 😦 the 👏 actual fuck 🍆 was 👏 I 👁 doing? 📌 Everyone 👥 knows 👃 that 😐 this 👈 is 💦 the 👏 last 😍 situation 🎮 a 👌 deep 😱 southern Texas girl 👧 like 💖 me 😭 wanted 😍 to 💦 happen. 😱 My 👨 dad 👴 had 💋 warned 😤 me 😭 this 👈 day 🌞 might 🔍 come 💦 the 👏 day 🌞 he 👨 walked 🚶 in 👏 on 🔛 me 😭 watching 👀 Hentai 👯 and 👏 twiddling my 👨 bean. "Jessie, you 👈 know, 💭 never 🙅 have 👏 sex 🍆 with 👏 ramen 🍜 noodles 💯 nearby, that’s 💪 how 💯 you 👈 get 🔟 pregnant 🍆 with 👏 one 😤 of 💦 those 🐥 damn 😤 Asians, 👌 and 👏 damn 😤 you 👈 know 💭 whattle happen 😱 to 💦 you 👈 if 👏 that 😐 happens" Fuck you 👈 dad, 👴 you 👈 racist fuck. 🍆 I 👁 wanted 😍 this 👈 anyway. 🔛 I 👁 needed this 👈 anyway. 🔛 I 👁 was 👏 ready. 😏 I 👁 was 👏 primed to 💦 go. 🏃 My 👨 boyfriend 👬 climbed back 🔙 on 🔛 and 👏 finished 👅 deep 😱 inside 💠 my 👨 pussy. 🐱 It 💯 was 👏 beautiful. 🌄 Nine 🍆 months 📆 later 🕑 I 👁 gave 🎁 birth 👑 to 💦 my 👨 first 👆 child 👦 ファック私の愚かなパパ chan, he’s 👨 a 👌 great 👍 little 👌 kid 👦 and 👏 I 👁 love 😍 him 👴 so 💯 much. Three years 📅 pass 💯 and 👏 now 👋 I’m 👌 on 🔛 my 👨 third Japanese child. 👦 How 💯 did 👏 this 👈 go 🏃 so 💯 far? 🌌 That’s 💪 when 🍑 the 👏 Japanese government 💩 called 📲 me. 😭 They 👥 wanted 😍 to 💦 being 😑 me 😭 in 👏 for 🍆 questioning. They 👥 wanted 😍 me 😭 to 💦 help 💁 them 💦 rebuild the 👏 dwindling Japanese population. It's 🕛 a 👌 serious 😐 problem 😊 for 🍆 them 💦 and 👏 they 👥 desperately needed my 👨 help. 💁 The 👏 foreign minister I 👁 spoke with 👏 even 🌃 mentioned free 💜 Hentai 👯 and 👏 ramen 🍜 for 🍆 the 👏 rest 😪 of 💦 my 👨 life. 👤 How 💯 could 🔒 I 👁 ever 👏 say 🗣 no? So I 👁 moved 📦 my 👨 pretty 👰 little 👌 ass 🍑 to 💦 Japan 🍣 and 👏 have 👏 been 👏 living 🐙 here 👏 since. 👨 I 👁 love 😍 my 👨 life 👤 here. 👏 Every 👏 day 🌞 me 😭 and 👏 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 go 🏃 to 💦 a 👌 new 👌 Ramen 🍜 shop 🏢 and 👏 purchase 🛒 our 💩 daily 🕢 bowl. 🍀 We 👥 then 😮 take 👊 a 👌 beautiful 🌄 walk 👣 through 😩 our 💩 local 📰 park, 🌲 admire the 👏 trees 🌲 and 👏 grass. 🌱 My 👨 boyfriend 👬 always 🔥 remembers 🐘 to 💦 bring 🚶 bread 🍞 for 🍆 the 👏 local 📰 ducks. We 👥 named 📛 one 😤 Guss, we 👥 both 🌜 love 😍 Guss and 👏 remember 💭 to 💦 see 👀 him 👴 every 👏 day. 🌞 He's 👦 a 👌 good 👌 little 👌 duck. We then 😮 head 💆 back 🔙 to 💦 our 💩 home, 🏡 take 👊 off 📴 all 💯 our 💩 cloths and 👏 proceed to 💦 pour our 💩 bowl 🍀 of 💦 ramen 🍜 over 👏 each 👏 of 💦 our 💩 bodies. 😍 He 👨 fucks 😤 me 😭 like 💖 no 🙅 one 😤 else. 😩 I 👁 cum, 💦 then 😮 I 👁 cum 💦 again, 😬 and 👏 again, 😬 and 👏 again. 😬 It's 🕛 never 🙅 felt 😎 like 💖 chore 👷 for 🍆 me. 😭 And 👏 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 loves 💘 it 💯 more 🍗 than 👉 life 👤 itself. 🚝 Before 😂 we 👥 finish 🏁 we 👥 remember 💭 to 💦 shove 😠 a 👌 tiny 😑 bit 😁 of 💦 ramen 🍜 deep 😱 inside 💠 me 😭 before 😂 my 👨 boyfriend 👬 finishes. I 👁 don't 🚫 think 💭 this 👈 is 💦 the 👏 life 👤 for 🍆 me 😭 though. It 💯 eats me 😭 up 🔺 inside 💠 that 😐 all 💯 I’m 👌 capable 😡 in 👏 life 👤 is 💦 breeding little 👌 Japanese babies 👶 through 😩 sex 🍆 with 👏 ramen 🍜 noodles. 💯 I 👁 think 💭 I’m 👌 more 🍗 capable 😡 than 👉 that. 😐 I 👁 want 👏 out. 💯 I 👁 want 👏 a 👌 change. Can you 👈 help 💁 me? 😭 Can 💦 you 👈 help 💁 me 😭 from 👉 the 👏 life 👤 I’ve 👏 created? 💯 I 👁 don't 🚫 want 👏 to 💦 be 🐝 a 👌 ramen 🍜 breeder anymore. 🔥 I 👁 don't 🚫 know 💭 where 😐 to 💦 turn. 💃 I 👁 don't 🚫 know 💭 where 😐 to 💦 go.
My school just banned relationships because “they are wrong”. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Sure they have caused some problems here like last week students were caught in the middle of the act during lunch break. A bit weird to do that in school but ok whatever. This week my school found out that one of the teachers was having a relationship with one of the students. I get that, that is wrong but why the hell are you banning me from dating students? I have only dated one girl before but when you ask her she denies it and prefers to call it “harassment” or some shit like that.
I wish I could go to a public school, homeschool sucks
I can remember it clearly, one month ago, Stacy told me that if I do the Fortnite default dance in front of her and her friends (including Chad) that she would go to prom with me the following night. I knew this was my chance, I studied, harder than ever before, not just the Fortnite default dance but all the Fortnite dances, and it didn't end there, I studied so hard I become a dancing master. Grand Jete? a breeze. En Pointe? child's play. Foutte? you better believe I can do that with perfect precision and flair. The day of my performance came, and I had no nerves. I was ready. I danced that dance harder than any dancer ever could, and when I finished, arms crossed and looking straight into her lovely eyes all I saw was deceit. She tricked me. Everyone was looking at me. Judging me. Laughing at me. I ran, yeah, but tomorrow, on the night of the prom they will see. They will see judgement like they've never seen before. Dad gave me this knife for a reason, and although he never told me why, now I know. I will enact my vengeance. I will achieve the Epic Victory Royale my bloodline has yearned for. Games, rise up!
I was only 16 years old. I loved communism so much, I had all the treatises and propaganda posters. I prayed to Marx every night to thank him for the dialectical materialism I had been given. "Workers of the world unite," I said, "you have nothing to lose but your chains." My boss hears me, and calls me a tankie. I knew he was jealous of my commitment to the revolution. I called him a reactionary fascist. He slaps me and sends me to work for a wage. I'm crying now, and I'm alienated from my labor. I lay in my bed, and I'm poor. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Karl Marx. I am so happy. He whispers in my ear, "Let the ruling classes tremble at a communist revolution." He grabs me with his powerful hands and places me on my knees. I am ready. I organize a labor union for Karl Marx. He throws reactionaries into the gulag. It hurts so much, but I do it for Marx. I take up arms against the bourgeoisie. I want to contribute to the revolution. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my life with class consciousness. My boss walks in. Karl looks him straight in the eye and says, "From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs." Marx leaves through the window. Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains.
Last month, my sister came home to visit for the holidays. It’s been just me and my parents at the house since August- this was her first semester away at college, so having her back home was nice. We drank eggnog, made a fire in the fireplace, and shared laughs around the Christmas tree. It was really a magical holiday season.
My sister is hot as fuck. Her and I have always had a little bit of sexual tension- maybe it was just in my head, but growing up we were always super competitive and used to butt heads over all kinds of stuff, and I always felt like we were just one provocative comment away from something happening.
A few days ago, my mom and dad left the house for a few hours to go visit some family friends- my sister and I stayed home and my parents said they would be back later that night. So it was just me and my sister, alone, all day, in our PJs, hanging out and bantering like we do. She was wearing a loose t-shirt, pajama pants, and these little fluffy Christmas socks our mom had bought her, and she invited me to put together a puzzle with her in the living room. I was horny as fuck and I knew it was now or never, so I decided it was finally time to put the moves on my sister- but first, I knew she had to be convinced that incest was morally permissible. I smiled, knowing that with the supreme arguments of my favorite streamer Destiny on my side, I would be unstoppable.
I asked her if she minded if I put on a video in the background, and she said sure. So I started to look up the Destiny incest debate on the living room TV. “Incest debate...?” She looked at me quizzically. “Ha ha, y-yeah, it’s a pretty good example of why our... um... moral intuitions often like, don’t stand up to ethical scrutiny,” I stammered, wiping the sweat from my brow, quickly trying to type in Destiny’s name in the search bar and hit enter. I started playing the video as she dumped the puzzle out of the box and we started to piece it together. Being alone with my sister was already making me rock hard, but with Destiny on the TV, his lighting fast voice already owning the stupid normie who dared to debate him, I was nearly about to fire off a splooge harpoon in my pants. We put the puzzle together without talking, only listening to the video. As it went on, her look changed from surprised, to confused, to flustered. I could tell she was really absorbing it. She was staring at a puzzle piece in her hand, rotating it around between her fingers, when she finally broke the silence. “So... what is with this Destiny guy?” she asked, not looking away from the puzzle piece. “Why is he trying to argue in defense of incest? Isn’t that kinda fucked up? I mean,” she shot a glance at me, then returned to analyzing the puzzle piece in her hands. “Incest is wrong,” she finished. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince me. I cleared my throat. “Well,” I started, “it’s actually very difficult to formulate a sound ethical argument against incest itself. You can make tangential arguments against the morality of possible side effects that incest may have, but these arguments have nothing to do with the incestuous act itself being wrong.” Yes, I thought to myself. A solid and concise argument. Destiny would be proud. And that’s all it took- my sister and I locked eyes for a moment, then she lunged for me and started making out with me, hard. “Anon,” she said in between gasps, “I’ve wanted to fuck you since I was in high school.” She started tearing my shirt off of me. “The only thing stopping me was that I thought it violated my axiomatic moral framework. After watching this Destiny video, I realize it doesn’t.” “Really??” I asked her. This was all happening so fast, I didn’t have time to process it. “He’s right,” she continued frantically, sliding my pants down around my ankles. “With the vast majority of axioms people base their moral systems on, incest does not actually violate any of them. Any unintended consequences that come from incest are not actually inherent to the act of incest itself, and can all be avoided with the proper precautions!” she exclaimed. With that, she started going down on me, and I leaned back and smiled up at the still-playing Destiny video, knowing I owed this all to my hero, Steven Kenneth Bonnell II. I knew all along that having the ins and outs of his arguments memorized would one day result in me having real-life intercourse with my sister. That day, I had the best sex of my life. The best part is, no one ever found out, she didn’t get pregnant, and it didn’t tear our nuclear family apart. No unintended moral consequences- just pure, sweet incest.
Thank you, Destiny. And thank you d.gg community for always being there for me. I owe this to all of you.
