Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Sitting in his bedroom of his parents white suburban home, "The US is a 3rd world country" he typed on a computer his parents bought, the comment sent using the internet his parents pay for while his mom was cooking him chicken tendies.
his mom walks in, disgusted
“Gerald please, you’re 26 years old. When are you going to find a job, or a girlfriend, or anyone to talk to that isn’t online?”
“shut up mom im starting a political revolution!!!” he cries out.
Story time 🕛🕛 sisters 💁♀️💁♀️so basically I was in class listening to billie eilish ❤️❤️and my headphones got unplugged 😩😩 and it played bad guy out loud 🔊🔊so anyway it was playing out loud and all the girls 👭 👭 were completely vibing to it💏💏 and they were like slayyyyy🔪🔪sisterrr☠️☠️and i was gonna say something back when a boy🤮🤮approached me and said🗣️🗣️ "uh billie eilish is so cringe why don't you listed to xxtentacion?" 🧐🧐 and i was SHOOK 😳😳and completely flipped the F OUT 🤬🤬 i said "you dumb ignorant MALE billie liter ally saved my life 🙏🙏 i was cutting myself for my DEPRESSION since daddy didn't get me tickets to coachella👴👴 and a pentagram ⛧ formed on the ground and billie rose up from it🧖♀️🧖♀️ and she said "put your faith in allah for he is the most merciful 💣💣" and then she left and i was so inspired that i read the korean promised to slay every infidel in my path🧕🧕 until shariah law was implemented world wide" he then was like I won't allow a mujahid to spread the gentle message of mohamabamba and then summoned a djinn 🧞♂️🧞♂️ in the shape of jahsehs foreskin and he said he was the servant of shaytan👹👹well i wasn't going to let blasphemy😡😡go unpunished and chanted oh allah the most kind and beautiful please banish these heathens back to hell🔙🔙 and suddenly the heavens opened and we loooked and it was billie🤩🤩she said "i am allah and i was disguised as billie to give hope to all 14 year old girls"😜😜but then i felt an evil force rising😳😳it was xxxtentacion😲😲 he said "spotlight uh moonlight uh beat woman cos they have no rights uh"🤦♀️🤦♀️ and then allah and X fought and of course allah won 😉😉 and spread World peace ✌️✌️ so anyway that's the TEA sisters ☕☕stay tuned for my fenti beauty 💄💄 giveaway 🎉🎉and remember praise allah everyday🤗🤗
2:00 am- Wake up
2.05am-Cold shower
2.15am-breakfast,almonds, breast milk bought off Facebook, 50mg adderall
2:30am- begin workout,incline bench 2 plates,12x12 with 30 seconds of rest, no warmup.
2:45am-edging,4hrs (for disipline)
6:45am-cold shower
7:00am-begin sprint to work
8:00am-arrive at work
8:05am-get called into boss' office
8:06am-get fired from job for "repeated inappropriate comments" and "predatory behaviour"
8:10am-sprint back home
9:10am- lunch-raw cod, berries foraged on the way home, small pebbles (for digestion),50mg of adderal
9:10am-edging(as punishment)
3:00pm- bed time
So it was 2016 or so and I remember the NoFap hype was insane. I was an insanely happy 18 year old boy who had just gotten into the gym, eating healthy, and all that good stuff. It was also my freshmen year of college, and I had never seen so many hot girls in my life.
I had seen so many memes on Twitter and Reddit about people not jerking off during No Nut November and decided I was going to be one of the nut jobs who was actually about it, but I was going to go longer than just November.
3 Months later, I was depressed to find out that I was not able to levitate, I was not able to lift heavier, and my mood had not increased. In fact by this point I would get a full blown boner from my cock accidentally touching something or rubbing against something. I would go to stand up at school and my shlong would accidentally brush up against the desk and I would have to forcefully ground myself to not get a raging Bõner. I had become insanely irritable, aggressive, and felt like a ticking time bomb. I have been in therapy for years and it's sad to say I believe I have spent more time grounding myself to avoid getting a raging boner, compared to practicing grounding techniques to fight off panic attacks.
Anyway, we'll get to the good part.
I had an insane workout at the gym, there were a plethora of hot females there, and I knew the second I was changing in the locker room that I was going to explode. I had slid my shorts up to my waist and they brushed against my dick super badly this time. I had to practice deep breathing and waistband it before I walked out of the gym.
I sped home and immediately ran upstairs and shut my door. I enter pornhub.com and from there it was like the South Park episode where they lose internet and Randy Marsh jerks off to anything he sees.
I didn't even watch a video; I jerked off to the thumbnails of the videos because I couldn't sit there and wait for it to load. I came in literally around 20-30 seconds and it was bad.
I have learned to never try NoFap again. It was actually so intense I was overwhelmed by the feeling and was slightly anxious afterwards, fuck that shit!
Whatever, this is my last message to you ever so remember this, I thought you were such a great person which is why I admired you and wished I could be like you but of course you became like this, I never claim to be innocent and I still don't but I know from what I can see that you are not a good person anymore, I got you a full price game because I cared a lot about you and so you didn't have to worry about the whole thing with your dad, I always had your back whenever you had problems, I trusted you with my secrets, I got you into anime, when you said you were leaving Discord that one time I jumped to try to help you I felt really close to you and then you just one day decide "Hey I'm not your friend anymore and I don't like you" without even an indication, you became a person that decided to play with my emotions, you took advantage of my trust that time when the confession bot was being used and then it turned out to be you and you allowed me to accuse people which made me look bad yet I still forgave you and let myself believe that you had a single ounce of care for me, sure I may be far from a good person but I at least am a loyal fried that would go many lengths to protect that friendship no matter what, but even after you said I was manipulative (which btw effected me to the point where I'm afraid to talk about my feelings to anyone) I still decided to believe you because I cared and thought you knew best but while talking to real friends that care about me for real I realize that you were wrong. You used to say to be so mature but now you act childish, you also seem ungrateful but with that being said I still know you're a trustworthy person kinda also me and the others have really liked the peaceful server ever since you guys with your spamming and wanting to say the N word left
(And then a few weeks later he decided to message him exactly at 12 am on his birthday)
12:00 am November 6 aka your birthday, I memorized when your birthday was because before all this stuff happened I was planning something for your birthday but I guess that can't happen now, and no Birthday bot is gone so that didn't remind me, I may not be the person you want to hear this from but Happy Birthday dude, I hope this year is full of enjoyment and happiness for you, you deserve it 👍this is the least I can do
Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.