Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
man & girl go out to drive under moonlight. they stop at on at a side of road. he turn to his girl and say: "baby, i love you very much"
"what is it honey?"
"our car is broken down. i think the engine is broken, ill walk and get some more fuel."
"ok. ill stay here and look after our stereo. there have been news report of steres being stolen."
"good idea. keep the doors locked no matter what. i love you sweaty"
so the guy left to get full for the car. after two hours the girl say "where is my baby, he was supposed to be back by now". then the girl here a scratching sound and a voice say "LET ME IN"
the girl doesn't do it and then after a while she goes to sleep. the next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. she gets out to check and man door hand hook car door.
So yeah, I'm pretty fucked up, I know. If it helps, I had a fucked up childhood - Freud would love me. I had an extremely high sex drive in high school but no friends or girlfriend. Somewhere between high school and college I became a completely new individual with a new personality and I recognize that this was wrong, and I carry a massive amount of shame, and the more I think about it each day, the more I hate myself for it. I've seen girls receive support in this sub for things like this, so I'm hoping I can get it off my chest to you guys without receiving too much hate for it.
Lol, now here's the fun part of the post. One night, I wondered what it would be like to let my dog lick my dick with peanut butter on it. I didn't like it and I felt pretty weird, but my dog seemed to really enjoy it. My dog kept trying to lick my asshole and I would stop her, but she would fight against my hand to lick it. And let me tell you, it felt AMAZING. I decided to just let her do it, and I came within seconds. So, sporadically over the course of a few years, I probably let her do it around 5 times. And I regret it, so much. I just feel totally weird and ashamed and guilty. I mean, I didn't force her to do anything and she's got no trauma from it. She was probably just thinking, "Hey look! An asshole! Om nom nom."
My brain is so fucked up. I'm on hella meds, I've got bipolar disorder and PTSD, my sex drive is/was insatiable, but I didn't know any of this in high school, so I blame my past untreated mental illness (currently well treated) for my weirdness. I feel like because of my past shames, I could never truly be loved. Like, if I told my girlfriend this, who has pronounced unconditional love to me, would probably break up with me because it's so heinous, creepy and weird (Yeah We're getting a little sentimental here). I hate that I have to live the rest of my life carrying this ugly disgusting secret. I hope I can get close enough to my gf to tell her this someday, but it would have to be a 10 years relationship minimum - just so I know she's stuck with me and probably wouldnt leave me over it at that point. I wish I had never done it.
Thanks for reading!
My first ever orgasm came from an electric fence.
I don't know if this really fits here, if it doesn't then sorry I'll delete.
When I was young, about 12 or something, I was walking through the woods near my house. There are a lot of farmlands around here and some have electric fences. Me being young and stupid, I wanted to cut through a field to get to the other side quicker, I knew the fence was electrified so I used a tree to jump over it, the issue was that there wasn't a tree at the other end, so I used an old bucket to try and jump over it.
Basically the bucket fell away from me and I landed crotch first on the fence. To this day I've never experienced so much pain and pleasure at the same time, or even separately. I fell off onto the grass, shaking and orgasming for almost a full minute. I ended up wetting myself and having to spend an hour walking back home, my legs were too weak to walk for the first half hour so it took way longer than usual to get back.
It was the most intense pleasure ever, and to this day I've always wanted to try and recreate it, for obvious reasons I haven't and probably never will, but it haunts me that I'll never feel that pleasure again.
I will tell you the truth of it.
Masturbation will decrease the erection rate and strength of holding on to the erection. After you quit masturbation your sex sessions will in hours. You will be able to do more foreplay, love your partner more, multiple ejaculations, and of course fuck like a pitbull. Coming to ur Chicken tikka. No fap over a long period of time WILL INCREASE YOUR DICK GIRTH AND LENGTH SURELY. THE MOST OBSERVABLE ONE IS THE GIRTH. It will increase by atleast 1 inch in length (GIRTH) . You will start to doubt that if any pussi*s can even handle the GIRTH. Your chicken tikka will UPGRADE itself to beef tikka. Kind of a Pokemon evolution.
Remember ONE YEAR OR MORE. Sleep within 12 am, and rest more at night. Stop watching porn and masturbation.
The people who are saying that masturbation doesn't do this and this are the idiots of the donkey land.
It was the early hours of a Sunday morning after I had been out to a bar with the lads. Our original plan was to just get bevved, but one thing led to another and I ended up taking some lass home.
I walked through the front door with the girl and looked into the kitchen. I saw a plate left on the table with tin foil covering it.
“Oh, did you make some food to eat when you got home?” the girl asked.
“No, I didn’t. I think mummy must have left this for me,” I replied.
I walked over and lifted the tin foil. It was a plate of turkey dinosaurs and potato smiles ready to be reheated. Nice.
I took the girl upstairs towards my room.
“Now stay quiet, daddy has enough trouble sleeping with mummy’s CPAP machine going all night. She has really bad sleep apnea," I warned. The girl nodded and quickly tiptoed with me past their bedroom door.
When we got into my dark room, the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling were the first to draw the eye. I always thought space was cool and I’d hope any girl worth my time would think the same. I then turned the light on so she didn’t trip over my Power Rangers figures I had been playing with before I left. I saw here staring at my PC below my Danny Phantom poster.
“Yeah, I’ve got a 3080 in there, but the whole thing is a custom build so I could fit the components into the Hot Wheels case. It’s the same setup that I had as a kid and I’m not ready to let go just yet.” She remained quiet but I assume she was impressed.
I pushed her down onto my Lightning McQueen bed and tore off her clothes. I threw her pants behind me and they landed on my Dragon Ball figurine shelf. I took my trousers off but quickly emptied the pockets so I didn’t leave a used tissue in them and ruin another wash. Mummy really needs to start checking herself before she puts them in the machine. We started to plow but it was difficult to thrust back without hitting my feet into the back of McQueen’s face. I persisted though. I was riding a girl like my favourite race car.
I could tell she was about to cum so I increased my speed. You’ve always got to be fastest at the finish line. Her eyes rolled back and at the point of climax I uttered one word.
“Kachow.”
I rolled off her onto the floor as there wasn’t enough room on the bed to fit two people. I lifted my head up to face her.
“You’ve just had the Lightning experience. Only special girls get that, so feel proud.”
I then got up and played Double Dash until she decided to leave.
I remember one kid at my school got bullied really bad. They would shove him, throw away his packed lunches, and tear up his Harry Potter books.
They would even shout "wizard bitch!!" At him and when he corrected them saying female wizards are actually witches they would just beat him up. At first I thought it was awful and told them to stop. I said they were all bullies and this is not ok. They eventually backed off.
Now looking back on it, they weren't bullies at all, they just didn't want to support JK Rowling's transphobic rhetoric and influence. They were doing the right thing all along and I was too blind to see it.
They even were trying to break down the boundaries in gender biased language such as "witch" and "wizard." They were gender-abolishing warriors, not cruel kids.
They we're standing up for those that were silenced. How they knew this at such a young age, so far in advance before she even publicly stated anything is nothing short of amazing. They were playing chess, I was merely playing checkers. That's a true ally.
Wherever they are, I hope they are doing well. And I also hope that bigoted wizard-loving loser is being tripped as I say this.
