Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
17 days without jerking off, I entered the pharmacy to buy a candy(dont ask me why), then the girl spoke like this "good night, can I help?" Man who says that? Everyone knows that these girls only say "good night / good day / good afternoon" but for me she said "good night, I can help", naughty she is super flirting me. I caught a red candy and said "I want a strawberry candy" then she said "this is cherry, the strawberry is the most rosy" look how naughty, man, unbelievable, the mine had the audacity to say that the Red candy is not strawberry just to pull a subject with me, I decided to see how much she wanted that dick, so I said "ah it's all the same" then she giggled. Man was not a joke, there was no reason for her to laugh, she laughed to leave me at ease and ask for my number, I'm sure. So I kept looking at her shut up for about 40 seconds to make a link in the flirting because it was not fair just to do everything, she asking "is ... Do you want anything else sir?" Look how naughty offering to me at work, so I just stayed with the candy in the hand looking at her, she started looking at the sides to see if anyone was looking at her to ask for my number, she was so euphoric with my presence That was beginning to sweat and fill the eyes of water, surely imagining our future married. Two minutes after I only hold the candy and look into her eyes I put my hand in the pocket to get the wallet and she said "please do not hurt me", certainly imagining a wild sex because I'm this alpha male that I am. Then I took the wallet, opened a smile, picked up 1 dollar and paid for the candy. Then I said "I'll be back" and a tear came down her face. Certainly she is completely in love with me and crying with happiness.
Nick opened his 24th packet of noodles. Another day of mukbanging ahead. He opened the camera, but he didn't say anything. He felt weak...he was sweating...Orlin was gone...he got tired of being pushed around. It took a toll on him...despite the way they acted they still loved eachother. With each passing bite, his stomach pain increased. He began to cry. In a split moment of clarity, he seemed to hear himself play the violin. He took another bite. The life he chose was irreversible for him ...he just had to take another bite. Suddenly, a sharp pain gets him to scream. He drops from the chair...sweating and coughing , the camera shakes and falls on the table. He can't get up. He knows he won't get up. In agony , he is no longer in that room. He is in a garden, dressed in white. His body felt so light...in the distance, a boy plays violin. He is skinny, healthy, dressed just in white, playing the violin. Tears roll in his eyes. But they are tears of joy. He gets closer to the boy...and, he sees his own face.. just 4 years ago...he follows the boy and then all of a sudden, the light gets brighter and brighter. He is no more. He had become one with the air, the earth ,the flowers.
Yesterday I was in a daze. I had gotten into a heated argument on Reddit on whether or not r/averageredditor is filled with the same kinds of people it claims to detest. I thought I had thoroughly defeated my opponent's reasoning, but then he told me he'd fuck my mom. But when he did, I found out the hard way that his penis was so long and hard that when he put it all inside, it caused my mom's innards to be pierced by his mammoth dong. Blood and cum came all out of her vagina. The guy with the big penis came out unscathed, even though I saw shit going into his urethra. Sadly though, my mom died. RIP.
Today I was trying to overcome this great trauma by fapping to rule 34. However, a teenage fuck, also with a massive dong, thought it would be funny if he aimed his ejaculated at me through my window. However, his aim was off. But not in a good way. His cum managed to go inside of my PC case and cause it to die. My 3000tb porn collection was now completely gone. But, when I tried to do the same thing to the guy who destroyed my PC, my wimpy cock couldn't even let out one good drop of jizz.
Big penises oppress. My aunt died after deepthroating a ginormous pp. Jocks slapped me in high school with penises I could never even hope to have just to spite me. Fuck the dongicracy. Fuck the pparchy. I want these fuckers to get a taste of their own medicine, and die deepthroating the biggest dong of them all, my anime waifu's giant futa cock.
man & girl go out to drive under moonlight. they stop at on at a side of road. he turn to his girl and say: "baby, i love you very much"
"what is it honey?"
"our car is broken down. i think the engine is broken, ill walk and get some more fuel."
"ok. ill stay here and look after our stereo. there have been news report of steres being stolen."
"good idea. keep the doors locked no matter what. i love you sweaty"
so the guy left to get full for the car. after two hours the girl say "where is my baby, he was supposed to be back by now". then the girl here a scratching sound and a voice say "LET ME IN"
the girl doesn't do it and then after a while she goes to sleep. the next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. she gets out to check and man door hand hook car door.
So yeah, I'm pretty fucked up, I know. If it helps, I had a fucked up childhood - Freud would love me. I had an extremely high sex drive in high school but no friends or girlfriend. Somewhere between high school and college I became a completely new individual with a new personality and I recognize that this was wrong, and I carry a massive amount of shame, and the more I think about it each day, the more I hate myself for it. I've seen girls receive support in this sub for things like this, so I'm hoping I can get it off my chest to you guys without receiving too much hate for it.
Lol, now here's the fun part of the post. One night, I wondered what it would be like to let my dog lick my dick with peanut butter on it. I didn't like it and I felt pretty weird, but my dog seemed to really enjoy it. My dog kept trying to lick my asshole and I would stop her, but she would fight against my hand to lick it. And let me tell you, it felt AMAZING. I decided to just let her do it, and I came within seconds. So, sporadically over the course of a few years, I probably let her do it around 5 times. And I regret it, so much. I just feel totally weird and ashamed and guilty. I mean, I didn't force her to do anything and she's got no trauma from it. She was probably just thinking, "Hey look! An asshole! Om nom nom."
My brain is so fucked up. I'm on hella meds, I've got bipolar disorder and PTSD, my sex drive is/was insatiable, but I didn't know any of this in high school, so I blame my past untreated mental illness (currently well treated) for my weirdness. I feel like because of my past shames, I could never truly be loved. Like, if I told my girlfriend this, who has pronounced unconditional love to me, would probably break up with me because it's so heinous, creepy and weird (Yeah We're getting a little sentimental here). I hate that I have to live the rest of my life carrying this ugly disgusting secret. I hope I can get close enough to my gf to tell her this someday, but it would have to be a 10 years relationship minimum - just so I know she's stuck with me and probably wouldnt leave me over it at that point. I wish I had never done it.
Thanks for reading!
My first ever orgasm came from an electric fence.
I don't know if this really fits here, if it doesn't then sorry I'll delete.
When I was young, about 12 or something, I was walking through the woods near my house. There are a lot of farmlands around here and some have electric fences. Me being young and stupid, I wanted to cut through a field to get to the other side quicker, I knew the fence was electrified so I used a tree to jump over it, the issue was that there wasn't a tree at the other end, so I used an old bucket to try and jump over it.
Basically the bucket fell away from me and I landed crotch first on the fence. To this day I've never experienced so much pain and pleasure at the same time, or even separately. I fell off onto the grass, shaking and orgasming for almost a full minute. I ended up wetting myself and having to spend an hour walking back home, my legs were too weak to walk for the first half hour so it took way longer than usual to get back.
It was the most intense pleasure ever, and to this day I've always wanted to try and recreate it, for obvious reasons I haven't and probably never will, but it haunts me that I'll never feel that pleasure again.
