Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Started as rants from r/CookieRunKingdoms about how unoptimized the game is on players phones.
Crk saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.
Then, inspiration struck. I opened up cookie run. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.
I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Black Lemonade, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.
I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Devsis. Crk saved my life.
This is really heart warming a similar thing happened to me. I was in a hostage situation l, tied to a chair while being beaten and tortured after all of that happened I slowly but surely slipped out of the tied knot that was on my wrists. I could hear the kidnappers coming back so I didn't have much but then something clicked "CRK!" That was it so I pulled out my phone loaded CRK and put the most laggy cookies on a team hit play and threw my phone at the kidnappers. All I could hear was a big boom and was flash banged and then lights out. Next thing I know I wake up in the Hospital with an amputated leg and severe damage to my right arm but still usable. Unfortunately the kidnappers survived and were convicted. The kidnappers were two people named Ginger Brave (Who would name a child that must have been bullied) and Dragon Lord Cacao (Whoever this dude's parents are jail them). Thanks to this game's poor optimization I lived but with some damage to my body and mental trauma. Thanks Devsis.
WuWa saved my life
WuWa saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.
Then, inspiration struck. I opened up Wuthering Waves. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.
I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Yinlin's ult, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.
I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Kurogames. WuWa saved my life.
Today I had a weird dream where there was a fourth Undertale route called The Milk Route. The requirements to trigger this route were similar to the pacifist route, which is to spare everyone, then go to Grillby's bar and approach him, who will serve us a glass of milk instead of alcohol as Frisk is too young to drink. Frisk will then drink milk and ask for more until Grillby gets out of stock. After that, our character gets drunk on milk. The sprite will change, showing Frisk with a drunken smile. As we leave the bar, Sans asks us what happened to us, we become milk addicts and our mission will be to search milk in the Underground instead of confronting Asgore. In one scene, Toriel and Papyrus blames Sans for the irresponsibility of getting a child drunk, which Sans will deny. We'll also see scenes where Flowey goes berserk over the player's quest for milk in the Underground, instead of doing everything according to his plans. A cutscene also shows Frisk being swept away by a river as we falls into it, taking us completely away from the main goal. The final boss is then Flowey in his normal form, who has gone lunatic after we've found ourselves in a remote location. Our only healing items were milk, and we were unable to act. The fight ended with Frisk eating Flowey, and the game ended with Frisk falling to the ground. A black background with text asking us how we could have messed up our gameplay so badly. Another alternate ending showed Frisk and Asriel in his god form both getting drunk and singing together.
Sunday was warm and sunny, just how I always fantasized it would be when I finally went through with it. I stared walking to the dumpster again, I think about 2pm, and I was really excited and nervous. I felt butterflies in my tummy, just anticipating what I was about to do.
The dumpster is in the alley behind a restaurant near my house. It gets emptied on Tuesdays, so by Sunday it's pretty stinky and there are flies buzzing around. Which means there are things rotting inside there and that's just perfect for me. A few times in the past I climbed into that dumpster and masturbated. Nothing too intense. Most I'd ever done was take off my pants and hump against the dirty garbage bags. And one time I laid there with my legs spread, watching the flies land on me.
So anyway, I walked down the alley to the dumpster, and as usual I made sure nobody was around, just to be extra careful. You have to go behind a tall wooden fence to even see the dumpster, and the restaurant is closed on Sunday anyway, so I knew I wouldn't be noticed. But this time there's no way I want to be disturbed. I climbed up and over the side and onto my hands and knees into the mass of plastic garbage bags and other miscellaneous rubbish. The bags felt warm from the sun. The smell in there was extremely foul, much worse than usual, and I knew it was because of my rotting meat. I sat and tried to get myself to relax for a few minutes. There was no reason to hurry. When I was ready, I calmly took off my sandals, my jeans, and my panties. Both pairs. I was wearing two pairs of tight panties with a bunch of my panty liners in the crotch, which keeps anything in my vagina from coming out when I move around. But I was going "all the way" this time, so I went ahead and got completely naked. That was a weird feeling, being totally nude inside the dumpster. It seemed very erotic to me. The sun felt warm on my skin, especially my boobs, which pretty much never see the sun.
I took a pair of rubber kitchen gloves out of my pants pocket and put them on. There was no way I could bring myself to actually touch a maggot with my bare hands. Lying with my back against the side of the dumpster, I fingered my pussy. I was really wet already. I knew I would be. The sensation of the rubber glove against my clit felt unusual, and I kind of liked it. I did that for a little while, just thinking about what I was about to do, while staring at the smaller garbage bag in the far corner of the dumpster where I'd left it yesterday. I still felt the butterflies in my tummy. I kept thinking to myself that I can't wimp out, that I had to go through with this. I wished for a moment that someone else was there to force me to do it, but decided that it was somehow much more sick and depraved to do it to myself willingly. And I thought, yeah, that's me. That's what I want. I deserve this. And so I knew it was time to do it
I got back on my hands and knees and crawled to the other side of the dumpster. I sat down next to my garbage bag, gently picked it up and placed it in front of me. The terrible smell was already stronger. Carefully, I tore the bag open. And there they were. There had to be thousands of maggots, kind of beige-yellow with little black spots on them, all writhing in a large mass. I couldn't even see the rotting meat underneath them. Dozens more maggots clung to the inside of the black plastic, which was coated with a thick light-brown slime. It was such a repulsive sight I thought I was going to throw up right there. But I didn't. I took a few minutes to get control of myself, fingering my clit while staring at the maggots, trying to work up the courage to continue.
I scooped up some of the slime on my gloved finger and brought it to my nose. I knew what it was from the reading I'd done before. It was digestive juices from the maggots, full of bacteria. And it smelled just horrible. I thought to myself, that's what I'm going to smell like. That's the stench that's going to come from my vagina. I want that, I thought, spreading my legs wide apart. I dragged my slimy finger between my pussy lips. My clit felt like a hard little pebble beneath the slime. I didn't want to cum right then, though, and I was still right on the edge of gagging, too. But I knew there was no turning back now, so I let my fingers lightly touch the top of the maggot mass. The maggots felt like nothing I'd experienced before. They seemed to have such energy, totally different from picking up an earthworm or something. And they felt so alive. I was fascinated and nauseated at the same time. Sinking my fingers into the mass, I felt the solid meat beneath. Gently breaking it apart, I could see that the meat had turned gray except for the very center which was still pink, and that the maggots had penetrated into it but not too deeply yet. There was still plenty of food for my filthy little babies. I broke off a small chunk of meat that was covered on one side with maggots and held it for a moment while I fought back another urge to vomit. It was finally time, I thought. I leaned forward, and holding my pussy lips apart with one hand, I gritted my teeth and pushed the maggot-covered chunk of meat into my vagina. And then, totally without expecting it, I had an orgasm. A quick, sharp one that only made me want more.
And more was coming. I broke off another small chunk of meat, along with another part of the maggot mass and pushed it inside me. This one had more maggots on it, and I stopped for a moment to see if I could feel them inside me. I wasn't sure I could, but it didn't matter. I wanted them all. I needed to take them all inside me. With that thought, I went sort of wild. I started pushing bigger chunks of meat and maggots, and even handfuls of just maggots into me, over and over. I was practically hyperventilating, too. I wasn't thinking at all about the noise I must have been making. But now I could definitely feel the maggots squirming inside my vagina. Just the idea of it made me cum again.
Finally, once I had crammed all of the rotten meat, and all of the maggots I could inside me, I felt so filthy, so disgusting, like I'd turned myself into some low, depraved sort of beast. And that made me so incredibly hot, together with the constant movement of the maggots inside me. But it was time to go. Holding my hand over my crotch, I slowly crawled back to my clothes and managed to get dressed again without anything coming out. I put the gloves back into my pocket and climbed out of the dumpster. And right then I could hold back the revulsion of what I'd just done no longer. Holding myself up against the side of the dumpster, I threw up. Ever vomited while you were horny? It's weird.
Walking home down the alley, I felt like I was in a daze. I kept asking myself how I could have done this to myself, but then asking why I'd waited so long. I had to walk slowly to make sure nothing got squeezed out of my vagina, but also to keep from cumming again. I found myself amazed at the whole thing, that I'd stuffed the most intimate part of myself with these things that were too disgusting to even touch without gloves. And that I was totally getting off on it.
Once I was home, I locked myself in my bedroom, took off my clothes, except for my double-panties, and got into bed. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel the maggots squirming inside me. For a while I tried to watch TV, but I could really pay attention to it. The maggots were too wonderfully distracting. I skipped dinner. Later on, when I really had to pee, I did it by taking down my panties and holding my hand over my crotch, wearing the rubber gloves, of course.
The next morning I called off of work after being awake most of the night. I mainly stayed naked in my bed all day masturbating, barely getting up for anything. I wanted to do nothing but let my nauseating little babies grow inside my pussy. Pretty early, though, I realized the smell was getting really horrible. I opened the window. I also wet a bath towel and stuffed it under my bedroom door. I didn't want my parents to get suspicious.
A little later on I realized that I didn't need the panties to hold the maggots and the meat inside me. The mass pretty much stayed in place as long as I laid kind of still. I thought hey, I guess that means I'm infested, which made me cum again. I was always right on the edge of orgasm, and it didn't take much to go over the edge. I also noticed that the maggots seemed to be more active if I kept my legs apart and realized that they probably needed to breathe. So that's how I stayed a lot of the time. I did get up and read my email and posted an update on my web page but I couldn't seem to think clearly enough to write much. Then I had to pee again, but I just didn't want to get up. So I just peed in the bed. It made me cum. I just wanted to keep feeling the maggots moving. And they were. They seemed even stronger, in anything. I was totally in heaven with it. I didn't eat at all, either.
I heard my parents come home from work. During the evening my mom said hello through the door and wondered why I was staying in my room like a hermit. I said I was reading a novel all the way through at once, which I actually do sometimes. She left me alone. I hoped she didn't smell anything. I surfed the Web for a while that night and looked at porn. I came a few more times. I decided to go ahead and take a shit in my bed, right where I was. That just made me more turned on and I ended up smearing some of my shit over my thighs and my pussy and cumming again. I noticed that the maggots started coming out a bit. Maybe they liked the shit. A couple tmes one would creep up on my belly. I'd just flick it back down between my legs.
I was getting tired at that point. It really was time to sleep and my vagina was throbbing and kind of sore from all of the attention. But I was most worried about making sure my maggots could breathe while I was sleeping. Somehow, I managed to find the energy to place a chair on either side of my bed and use sheets to tie my ankles to them. That would keep my legs apart during the night. I pulled the blankets over myself and dozed off lying in my piss and shit.
For the most part I slept through the night, but I kept waking up sweating, with my vagina throbbing worse. I knew I was getting a bad infection from this, but I didn't care. I was not thinking right. I could also feel maggots crawling all over me. I guess I decided I liked that and I'd play with my clit until I came again. I don't know if I realized at the time that I wasn't wearing the rubber gloves anymore. I'd fall back to sleep and wake up again later with little phrases running through my head. Other girls have babies but I give birth to decay and filth, I'd keep thinking to myself. Or I'd say I'm probably ruining my womb and I don't care, I want to be ruined. I know I must have been hallucinating from the infection. I was hoping the maggots had given up on the rotten meat and were eating my vagina instead. My fingers were buried inside my vagina, with my fingertips against part of the meat. Whenever I pressed on it, the maggots would squirm faster and I'd climax again. I could do it over and over and keep cumming.
Finally it was Tuesday morning and sunlight made me wake up. I knew I was really, really sick at that point. I felt weak and dizzy, I knew I had a fever, and now my whole lower belly was sore and throbbing. Despite all that I was still horny and I was still right on the edge of cumming. And then for some reason, all I wanted to do was see my maggots.
I pulled the blankets aside and saw that I really did have maggots crawling all over my body. I was so whacked out I loved it. But I also saw that I had a rash spreading over my tummy and my thighs, and I was soaked with sweat. And then suddenly I needed to see what it looked like between my legs. I sat up a little, picked up the hand mirror I have on the table next to my bed, and held it between my thighs.
My pussy was totally gaped wide open. I'd never seen it like that before. It reminded me of a mouth in a sick, gagging expression. My inner lips were swollen and dark purple, almost black, while my outer lips were cherry red and I was losing a layer of dead skin, like a sunburn. A stream of the light brown slime was oozing from inside my vagina and down my butt crack onto the shitty mattress. Although I could still feel a large mass of maggots and rotten meat inside me, there were maggots everywhere between my legs. Hundreds of them.
And then I saw my fingers on my pussy. They plunged deep into my vagina and dragged out a wad of slime and maggots, which I pressed hard against my clit. I remember having a huge orgasm right then, and I must have passed out. I think I was sobbing too, but I'm not sure.
That's all I remember until I woke up in the hospital.
Originally posted on r/copypasta, the backstory is that some frat guy had a meltdown due to the Covid lockdowns and his rant was meme-d and made into a copypasta.
What I think people who are not in the Greek System need to understand is that partying isn't just something we do. It's ingrained into our lives. Many people, these days, are perfectly content with sitting on their computers all day playing video games. I used to be a competitive gamer and I used to do this. After joining the Greek system, partying became a new norm that was ingrained into my life. We need it for our wellbeing. It helps us escape society. There have even been studies that show how necessary gatherings are for our wellbeing. The fact that it was stripped away from us, especially by something that barely affects us specifically is very detrimental to our mental state. People are giving us so much crap for it, yet they don't know what it's like for us to be deprived of everything that's fun for us.
CS major
What I think people who are not a CS major at the Paul G. Allen school of computer science at engineering at UW need to understand is that rubbing our major into everyone’s face isn’t just something we do. It’s ingrained into our lives. Many people, these days, are perfectly content without having to make every LinkedIn post a sappy fake inspirational success story. I used to not cry myself to sleep at night and I used to have this. After joining the University of Washington, worshipping the tech CEO’s and making my internship my whole personality became a new norm that was ingrained into my life. We do not have any wellbeing. It has removed us from society. There have even been studies that show how stacking up on the tech merch to flex my DE Shaw sweatpants, my Microsoft socks, my Amazon headband and my GoldmanSachs gloves that I hoarded from the career fair to seek validity in the CSE undergrad lounge is for our wellbeing. The fact that this was stripped away from us, especially by something that may one day help us change the world for the better is very conflicting to our mental state. People are complaining and talking so much crap right now, yet they don’t know what it’s like for us to already have been deprived of everything that’s fun or even healthy…
Started from an unhinge rant on the Reddit, it has become a well known copypasta within frat community.
This new generation of pledges is so soft. Back in my day...
I’ll tell you shitstains, back in my pledgeship, we had it so rough... or so much better, I can't tell anymore. anyway, every day, we would wake up at 2 in the morning and go to the house for cleaning. we all lived in the dorms, you see, so it was basically one room. and we would ask, me and my 17 pledge brothers, "what's the plan sir?". they would smack us all with a paddle and make us say "thank you sir may I have another". and if we complained and said "but we had beatings yesterday" - because we had beatings every day - they would smack us all five times with a larger paddle with holes in it and say "what’s every brother’s middle name and hometown. I swear I’m gonna make i-week suck so much for you", i-week was about the same as waterboarding back in the day. then we would head to class. we met up with the Fiji kids from down the hall, and walked the 6 miles to school. on the way to school, we had to walk up a hill so tall it extended to outer space. when we got to the top of the hill, we would see the SAE boys in their fancy BMWs - which they dont make like they used to, and we would call out to them “sexual assault expected”. then, when we got to class at 4 in the morning, the professor would come up to us and say "you retards are late", then he would smack us all with another paddle 10 times and tell us we had 7 years till we’d graduate. then, we went back to the house, and the seniors would say "ok line up pussies", then spank us each 60 times, then make us beer bong 40 times each. then it was 6 at night and we had to walk home. then, when we got home, we'd text the girls floor "what’s the move", and they’d ghost us or say "do I know you”. and if we kept trying, they would text our pledge master and say "your pledges are soft, haze them harder later. Btw when is the next party" - the pledge master never invited them to shit. then, when the seniors got home from their two 100 level classes they re-took as a requirement, they’d make us get on bows and toes. if we had been naughty, they’d make us do it on bottle caps. then, at 7:04, the secretary would say "ok time for chapter". then, we got into our pledge uniforms, and we would recite the Greek alphabet until the upperclassmen were happy. on saturdays (which were for the boys), we went down to the liveout to clean. we would have to pick up 420 cans each, all while fighting off the homeless. we would get on the party bus and pay our fare of bringing two freshmen each - one as our date and one for a brother. then, if there weren’t enough girls at the after party, the pledge master would make us run a mile while doing Edward 40 hands. if any of us spilled a drop, we would take off an article of clothing and we had to sprint the rest of the way. when we got back to the liveout, the pledge master would show up to the gate with his bong, make us hit it 780 times with Dokha, and tell us to get in the basement so we could clean. then, we had to scrub the dance floor with a toothbrush while blasting darude sandstorm - now, they don’t make eurodance like they used to, and it was about 1234.5 degrees spencer, or 69 degrees centigrade using your new-fangled nationals system. then, we would have to “milk the cows” - now, they dont make sigma cattle like they used to, so each cow weighed about 6.9 alpha phis, or 3.2 chads in your new-fangled nationals system. if you touched a cows tit, it would fall in love with you and you could be crushed, so you had to be really careful when you milked the cows. then, when we were done, the pledge master would say "ok bitch boys time for your reward". he would give us each a handle of fleischmanns - which is worth about one blackout each - and make us kill it before we left. on sundays, we would meet the axo girls and go down to the dorm food halls - now, they don't make dorm food like they used to, so this food was about as dank as a five star restaurant, and as unhealthy as eating a juul pod, and only cost 3 points. we would eat and go lift near the campus, calling the foreign exchange students pussies, and the Pikes dumbass tryhards. now - they don't make Pike like they used to, so this kid had a skull as thick as Lizzo, and was roided up enough that his shirt started choking him at the neck. one day, the pike dropped a dumbbell on his foot. when it hit, the only bit of his foot we could recognize was his uncut toenail. we called him a retard and told him to get off the bench. his friend said "oh its just a scratch you pussy, dont worry pop another xan and you'll be right" and he gave the kid some pills and a kiss and we could tell they were both pikes. after we finished lifting, we would go to the Asian lady’s store and get some 4Loko with our fakes. now, back in the day, you could give the shopkeeper a fake - which is worth about as much as you paid for it - and she would give you a wink and upcharge the shit out of you. so we would say thanks for the lokos, and we'd go to the dorms and drink them. now, we didn't have any of your fancy liquor laws back in the day, so there was all kinds of stuff in our lokos. alcohol, caffeine, whatever is in monster energy drinks--you name it. so we would always get a little lit after our lokos. one day, when we were hammered, we went up the dean’s car, the only lambo in the town, and pissed on it. as we pissed on it, we saw him storming down the street holding his ridiculous salary. "you degenerates, having fun while i do nothing all day in my office just so you can have a degree to maybe get a job, i oughta suspend you all". we were sure he was going to suspend us, but then he said "no, i got a better idea, ill give you more community service hours, that’ll set ya right". now, our community service chair had told us about getting our hours. he was a kiss ass from the chartering days, when they actually got hours and made grades, but we never did that now. our president walked us all down to campus, and we saw a shitty sorority event put on by girls who didn’t drink or have sex until college. "ladies," said our president, "i have some idiots here who need a good charity event". then, the girls made us get out our wallets, and made us each give them all our cash. then, our president said "right, i gotta go back to fucking this sorority’s president, you morons run to the house now". now, by now it was 9pm, which meant it was pregame time again. while we were stumbling out of our rooms, we heard a geed shout "glad I don’t pay for my friends". we turned around and saw this dweeb we sent home during rush. we beat the brakes off him, each landing 160265 punches, then told him better luck next year. now - they don't make rush events like they used to - you have to be sober now, and the new generation is full of pussies. our pledgeship lasted about 13526 years, until we finally got initiated after the most brutal hazing you couldn’t imagine. then, they hit us all 1292 times with a congratulatory paddle, and told us we’d still be bitches for the rest of our lives. so don't you come complaining to me about nonsense like a scavenger hunt without beer bonging ciroc and pepper sauce.
Started from r/BatmanArkham, it was part of a series of shitposts of the Batman Arkham games. The original post then got parodied and adopted into different communities.
Today my wife and I went to visit our 12 year old nephew in Hospital today, apparently he has a terminal disease or something, when I arrived I saw my nephew and I said to him “I like your haircut, you look just like Victor Zsasz”. A doctor then corrected me to tell me he actually had cancer, I told the doctor that I don’t believe in Astrology and it’s just a false concept.
Anyways, my nephew was hanging out with a bunch of his friends who also had cancer, there was maybe a group of 10 twelve year olds. and I saw one of them had a Batman shirt, and he looked really sad, so I thought I’d cheer him up. And as a member of this subreddit I remembered a few funny quotes that really got a lot of upvotes. So I said the first one that came to my mind. I put on my best Joker impression and yelled “STAND BACK FOOL, IVE GOT A BOMB”. To my shock not a single one of them even cracked a smile, within seconds I was tackled to the ground by one of the guards and I spent the rest of the night in jail for “bomb threat” or soemthjng like that, and jail was so boring, I thought it was be like being in the Alsume, but it was nothing like that, I was just locked in a small room for the night. I didn’t even see Hugo Strange, anyways when I went home my wife had divorce papers and told me to sign them. What do I do? Am I stupid? I love my wife and I don’t wanna divorce her. I hate feminism
Ongezellig
Today my wife and I went to visit our 12 year old nephew in Hospital today, apparently he has a terminal disease or something, when I arrived I saw my nephew and I said to him “I like your haircut, you look just like Koos”. A doctor then corrected me to tell me he actually had cancer, I told the doctor that I don’t believe in Astrology and it’s just a false concept. Anyways, my nephew was hanging out with a bunch of his friends who also had cancer, there was maybe a group of 10 twelve year old's. and I saw one of them had a zellig shirt, and he looked really sad, so I thought I’d cheer him up. And as a member of this cord I remembered a few funny quotes that really got a lot of gem emotes So I said the first one that came to my mind. I put on my best Mymy impression and yelled “death to the Belgians ”. To my shock not a single one of them even cracked a smile, within seconds I was tackled to the ground by one of the guards and I spent the rest of the night in a reeducation camp for “Hate speech” or something like that, and the camp was so boring, I thought it was gonna be like ongezellig. but it was nothing like that, I was just made to write essays for the night. I didn’t even see Vera, anyways when I went home my wife had divorce papers and told me to sign them. What do I do? Am I stupid? I love my wife and I don’t wanna divorce her. I hate feminism
