Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Every. Single. Day.
Ever since I was twelve years old and in seventh grade. My bully, who I will call Brad, tormented me, and the rest of my seventh grade class. Brad was an intimidating, 6'2", bulky, black dude who had been held back three grades. Even though he was unpopular, no amount of wedgies and swirlies would fill any of us with enough vengeance to cross him. Even the teachers made an exception to their "maintain a 70% average to play sports" rule so that he could play on the football team. And we absolutely demolished other schools when it came to football.
We had to put up with Brad's beatings and snarky remarks for years. No one dared to stand up to him. No one except me, the week when my eleventh grade home economics class went on a field trip to the local butcher, to learn how to properly prepare meat.
After learning the basics... how to skin cows and gut chickens, we moved onto the climax of the trip. The large, rusty, electric meat grinder which sat in solitude along the back wall of the faculty. Wasting no time, the butcher explained to us how the grinder functioned, and gave a quick demonstration, making ground pork. He then gave each of us a turn. Unafraid, I went first and seamlessly fed a cut of pork into the grinder. It proceeded to spiral out the other end, without any complications.
"Good job, u/squidwardspinkdildo." The butcher told me, "But remember, be careful." He instructed, grabbing a lone sneaker which lay under the table that the grinder was situated on. He fed the sneaker into the grinder, and, despite its size, it was immediately shred into pieces. "I don't want to have any accidents today. Not again."
We all stared at him, but he offered no clarification.
The rest of us took turns grinding our meat. One by one. I made eye contact with the pretty blonde girl in my precalculus class who I used to speak to, before Brad swooped in and took her from me. She smiled at me, and I wanted to smile back, but Brad was standing just a few feet away from me.
I was sick. Tired. Infuriated. Everything good in my life, Brad had taken from me. My pencils, my homework, the love of my life, my new sneakers. All ruined. And as I felt all of my bottled anger boil up, I knew I wasn't having it this time.
The pretty girl finished her piece of meat, and Brad was next. As he leaned in to place his meat onto the entrance of the grinder, I gave him a firm shove. He was quickly pushed off balance and fed face-first into the meat grinder. I took a step back as his blood squished out around the grinder, and watched all of his innards swirl out of the exit. He didn't have time to scream. Didn't have time to process what was happening. Dumb Brad was now nothing more than a pile of ground meat. And it felt good.
Immediately, my class applauded me. Everyone clapped. The mutilated hands of Brad even looked to be clapping. No one was disgusted by the mess, we were all just too happy to see him go. I felt no remorse. For the first time in my life, I was genuinely proud of myself. My class left the butcher that day, clapping as we entered the bus. When we got back to our school and were let out, my whole town was clapping for me.
The next day, I was made President of the United States. Despite being Canadian, it turns out, standing up to the people who demean and intimidate others is just the kind of courageous act that gets recognised internationally.
I know people have been complaining about the influx of revenge fantasies on this sub. I assure you all that every detail in this story is 100% not fabricated.
Throwaway account cause I know people who browse reddit.
So I've been really repressed sexually, and I'd heard a few rumours about a glory hole at a local sex store. I really wanted a blowjob so I got curious and went in, asking the lady at the counter and she ushered me through the store room into a dimly lit area with 2 doors. She said "get sucked in the left, suck in the right".
I was really horny at this point, and before I knew it I'd opened the door on the right and sat down on some suspectly stained cushions on the floor. I was nervous, shaking almost, but I had a raging boner and was brimming with excitement. Why had I opened this door?
I wasn't sure if I had to do anything first, I'd done no research as to how glory hole etiquette goes, but all of a sudden I heard the door and then shuffling and someone unzipping their trousers on the other side, and you guessed it, a floppy cock slid through the hole and a bit dazed, I looked it over. It was really clean, no hair and a massive head. So I cautiously start sucking on the tip, licking the shaft up and down and the guy is moaning. I've never sucked a dick before but it got hard almost instantly in my mouth and it was brilliant. I sucked and licked for about 3 minutes, forgetting to breath almost, before the guy knocked on the wall and all of a sudden he shot his load right down my throat - it tickled my tonsils on the way past - and I just kind held it in my mouth and then he went soft and pulled out the hole. He said "fuck that was great" and I just sat back wiping the excess cum off my mouth.
Now I felt quite liberated, but I didn't feel done. I waited for maybe 20 minutes before I heard the door and someone else came in - and I sucked them off, about 5 minutes this time. I got that load mostly on my face because they didn't knock until late but I still licked it all up. I waited in there for another hour or so and sucked off 3 more guys, all with really nice cocks and all within about 5 minutes or so. After the 5th I was getting hungry so I used some of the wet wipes on a nearby table to clean my face and hurriedly walked out.
I didn't know what to expect when I went into the room but I really loved it and eating cum was a real turn on. I should point out I'm a straight 29 year old male and I've never experimented with a guy before and I'm definitely not gay or wanting any relationship with a man. I no longer feel repressed and I think I might go back at some point just for the experience.
So, it's been a month since I started dating my crush. We hold hands every Sunday. But this time, I held her hand a bit more passionately and a week later she started having headaches and started puking. At first I thought she was just sick, but when it continued for a while, I started fearing the worst. I told her to get a pregnancy test. She took it and the result was positive. We were both shocked. I'm not ready to be a father. What do I do? I knew there was a risk of pregnancy when I held her hand, but I never expected it to happen. Don't hold hand, kids
The Buildup
I was drinking Pepsi and reading an article on how prostate stimulation intensifies orgasms. So, I had the genius idea of using coke to stimulate my ass. WCGW? I mean that the carbonation feels... good in my mouth, so It should work in my ass. As an engineer, there are many logistical challenges to bypass when trying to insert coke into one’s asshole.
Q: How do I put cola in my anus in the first place?
A: You use the rim of the bottle and stick it directly in the anus.
Q: How do I make sure that the coke stays there?
A: You don’t. That’s where I fucked up
Now, with a half-assed plan, I went to the store. As I was checking out, I saw a pack mentos. Time to bring this to level two. I put back the original coke and bought diet coke instead. All 2 liters of glory.
The disaster
20 mins later...
With three mentos in my ass, I gingerly lowered the rim to my rim and poured. The reaction was nearly instant. With the tidal force of a tsunami, the bottle was violently ejected from my ass. A pressure was building up, and the gates of hell opened. I felt Satan’s sugary fire burst from my asshole onto the bed. Holy shit, you would not realize the panic I had. There was a pain, both emotional and physical. The sugary wet fart, the sound of a thousand ass-trumpets creating a heavenly cacophony. I saw the light, I saw the dark. I felt The intense sting of carbonation, I experienced nothing and everything. I had found God, and he was punishing me. There was the maddening sensation of your asshole bending over itself, inside out, shrinking, expanding. It was worse than any experience ever. My brain still cannot comprehend the sensations, but they were torturous. I have contemplated what hell might feel like, and I know that I could find peace there. My bed was soaked with shit-coke. Lord, how am I to clean up.
Don't ever try what I did.
The aftermath
I learned a very valuable lesson that day. Don’t try anything insane. Avoid the asshole.
Also, TIL that the human asshole can stretch 8 centimeters without damage.
TL;DR: Stick to beating your meat, folks.
I’ve pegged 6 different guys now. They all take some level of convincing but eventually everyone agrees. Watching this big strong man turn into a cute little guy just sprawled out on my bed unable to speak or even think while he takes a strapon he insisted would be too big for him. I live for that shit.
And I am good. I mean really good. All of them give some silly ultimatum like “oh ok but if you get to peg me then I get to do anal too!” Guess what, nobody has ever wanted to do the anal afterwards. They just get the best orgasm of their life and can barely walk and then they can’t think about anything else and they come right back for more. I’m happy to give it to them too, any time and any place.
Then of course there’s the dude-bros that are like “oh yeah I never do this but you’re just so hot, I wouldn’t be doing this if you weren’t so attractive, it’s only because you’re hot” and it’s like uh huh yeah baby thank you now bend over so you can get rammed! Oh and guess what, they always come back again. And again. And every time they’re all ashamed but I make sure to go extra hard on them. Maybe I’ll fuck the shame right out of them and we can all be adults and admit how great it is.
I’d say I have 3 regulars who ask for it about once a week. I do extra special stuff for those boys because they at least admit they love it. Then there’s 1 that will never ask for it but asks to hang out and then spends the whole time talking about what we did last time until I go get the strap then he becomes a nice obedient little boy and bends over for me. Then of course there’s the other 2. Reluctant to admit how amazing I am but they’ve both had it more than twice now and every time they say “ok cool I’m only doing it cause you’re hot though, I wouldn’t normally do this” but weirdly they just keep coming back. Silly guys.
One more thing, the moans. Boys moan so beautifully while they’re getting railed and you can tell how good you are by how loud they get. I’ll just be rocking my hips back and forth and suddenly I’m getting these gorgeous moans to let me know I’m hitting the spot. Best sound on earth if you ask me.
I just love being the strapon girl. It’s the best.
Well I was born and my parents always told me I'm a boy even though I doesn't have a cock which confuse me😕, and where the cock should be is just a hole of nothingness, It just looks like a vagina to me but my parents always tell me I WAS A BOY!!! I suffered through school as no kid does, I don't fucking know which fucking toilet should I go in!?😡 And sometimes the boys in my class would tell me to show them my cockn't and they would gang rape my cockn't because basically it's just a vagina😭.
Well I thought I was gonna be like that until one day when I reached 18 yrs old, my dad tell me to go down the basement and...
He unzip is pant and pulled out his dick😨, and I was like ayo wtf dad noooo fuck no plz dad why are you doing this? He tell me to be quiet🤐 It is not like was I was thinking... He then plugged his dick into my asshole (I knew it wtf!) But suddenly my cockn't grow out a cock!!! O0O It doesn't look normal, IT WAS SHINY GOLDEN COCK!!!!😲 My dad later explained that I was born in a ROYAL FAMILY OF COCK X-MEN! And I was the chosen one, every 1000 years a male will be born with a hole that contains the power of the whole lineage. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I shouted, "You wasn't mature yet to hold its power!!" Ma dad replied. So this dick basically is powered by my Heart which uses heat from my body. And so the next day I went to the house of the bitches who raped me in school and I turned my dick into a canon and bombarded his ass with 2 tons of cum! (His house was destroyed too) I then make my cock spin like a helicopter and flew away to rape womans and men and bitches who raped me and that's where I start my revenge and become COCKMAN, Raper of the night
