Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
I’ve pegged 6 different guys now. They all take some level of convincing but eventually everyone agrees. Watching this big strong man turn into a cute little guy just sprawled out on my bed unable to speak or even think while he takes a strapon he insisted would be too big for him. I live for that shit.
And I am good. I mean really good. All of them give some silly ultimatum like “oh ok but if you get to peg me then I get to do anal too!” Guess what, nobody has ever wanted to do the anal afterwards. They just get the best orgasm of their life and can barely walk and then they can’t think about anything else and they come right back for more. I’m happy to give it to them too, any time and any place.
Then of course there’s the dude-bros that are like “oh yeah I never do this but you’re just so hot, I wouldn’t be doing this if you weren’t so attractive, it’s only because you’re hot” and it’s like uh huh yeah baby thank you now bend over so you can get rammed! Oh and guess what, they always come back again. And again. And every time they’re all ashamed but I make sure to go extra hard on them. Maybe I’ll fuck the shame right out of them and we can all be adults and admit how great it is.
I’d say I have 3 regulars who ask for it about once a week. I do extra special stuff for those boys because they at least admit they love it. Then there’s 1 that will never ask for it but asks to hang out and then spends the whole time talking about what we did last time until I go get the strap then he becomes a nice obedient little boy and bends over for me. Then of course there’s the other 2. Reluctant to admit how amazing I am but they’ve both had it more than twice now and every time they say “ok cool I’m only doing it cause you’re hot though, I wouldn’t normally do this” but weirdly they just keep coming back. Silly guys.
One more thing, the moans. Boys moan so beautifully while they’re getting railed and you can tell how good you are by how loud they get. I’ll just be rocking my hips back and forth and suddenly I’m getting these gorgeous moans to let me know I’m hitting the spot. Best sound on earth if you ask me.
I just love being the strapon girl. It’s the best.
Well I was born and my parents always told me I'm a boy even though I doesn't have a cock which confuse me😕, and where the cock should be is just a hole of nothingness, It just looks like a vagina to me but my parents always tell me I WAS A BOY!!! I suffered through school as no kid does, I don't fucking know which fucking toilet should I go in!?😡 And sometimes the boys in my class would tell me to show them my cockn't and they would gang rape my cockn't because basically it's just a vagina😭.
Well I thought I was gonna be like that until one day when I reached 18 yrs old, my dad tell me to go down the basement and...
He unzip is pant and pulled out his dick😨, and I was like ayo wtf dad noooo fuck no plz dad why are you doing this? He tell me to be quiet🤐 It is not like was I was thinking... He then plugged his dick into my asshole (I knew it wtf!) But suddenly my cockn't grow out a cock!!! O0O It doesn't look normal, IT WAS SHINY GOLDEN COCK!!!!😲 My dad later explained that I was born in a ROYAL FAMILY OF COCK X-MEN! And I was the chosen one, every 1000 years a male will be born with a hole that contains the power of the whole lineage. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I shouted, "You wasn't mature yet to hold its power!!" Ma dad replied. So this dick basically is powered by my Heart which uses heat from my body. And so the next day I went to the house of the bitches who raped me in school and I turned my dick into a canon and bombarded his ass with 2 tons of cum! (His house was destroyed too) I then make my cock spin like a helicopter and flew away to rape womans and men and bitches who raped me and that's where I start my revenge and become COCKMAN, Raper of the night
I’m 21 currently, and working at a university as assistant in Boston, life is good, very busy on academical papers, making chats with so called high intellectual debates.... Sometimes this loop becomes too consuming.. I have funny stories or rather interesting ones at least to tell, but have no body to tell..
There is an ability of me I perfected, and since I realize it, there is an urge to tell people about it, yet have no one to tell...
I had finished my uni in couple of years, in a very short time. During this years, I met this guy —my ex bf.. Who crawls for anal sex mostly, and although I was a little bit, a step away from it, very okey with it. Latter in the relationship, I become curious about it, and due to his admiration to anal sex, we started to do ony anal and tried stuff which are on porns. Some of them was great, some of them was average, yet I enjoyed all of them.
During this 2 years of all anal sex process, I have had full control of my rectum muscles, so that when we tried nasty things, it was no problem; what ever, after the breakup I realized that due to my control over my “ass muscles”, I can take a dump without peeing. Most people always talked about you can pee without taking poop, but not vice verse.
I have perfected the art of shitting without peeing and I want to, at least, tell this ability of me to someone. Thats it.
Alright, so here’s the dealio.
I have a large Italian family with many cousins, uncles, aunts, nephews, et cetera. Every once in awhile we’ll all gather up to celebrate the anniversary of our great grandparents’ wedding, a special occasion marking the creation of our family. They’re long gone now, but it’s the memory that counts, and we celebrate by cooking a feast for the ages, rivaling thanksgiving dinner.
Now upon the eve of this anniversary all “da boys” (as us men in the family affectionately call ourselves) gather up and go to a famous local bar in downtown Boston. They only accept cash, very “old school” feel to the place, but it makes for some great stories. Usually the place is a blast, with all sorts of banter and drunken shenanigans occurring, but not last night...
Now before I divulge the details, I ought to give some background as to how I fit into this family. Where my father and I are well integrated into the family, my mother is quite the outsider. She comes from wealthier, southern origins, around the mid-Atlantic part of the country. Because of this, she’s always viewed the family as “working class”, with her posh accent sticking out like a sore thumb at gatherings of Bostonians. By extension, I’ve always felt I had to prove to my family that I can “hang” with them so to speak, and in a way I worry that they see my mom as the woman who pulled my dad away from their tight knit circle.
Now let’s cut back to last night at the bar. Laughs, drinks, and stories all around the bar as we enjoy ourselves. My cousin Vinny invites me and some of the younger guys to play truth or drink. At this point I’m already quite drunk, but accept for the fun of it. A few questions in and Vinny asks me “how big is your dick? I know you’re packing a huge one Anon, right?”
Of course my other cousins all groan with embarrassment, but I foolishly answer instantly, unaware of the ramifications of my response.
“4.5 inches” I say too confidently, and suddenly all eyes are on me.
“Drink anon, I know you’re bullshitting me man!” says Vinny, with a twinge of nervous angst in his voice.
“I’m serious Vin, that’s all I got, haha”
Dead silence. I gaze across the bar to see my entire family looking in shock and awe at my response. Vinny attempts to get everyone focused back on the game, and everyone resumes at a quieter tempo, but I knew that I had just majorly fucked up.
After leaving the bar, my uncle Paul pulls me aside, puts both hands on my shoulder and says “Kid, please tell me you’re just fucking around about your cock size”
“No paul, Jesus what the fuck is your problem?” I say indignantly
“Anon, don’t you know everyone in this family is packing fat schlong? For Christ sakes I’m on the smaller side and still clock out around 7 inches.”
“So what? Why the hell does penis size matter to you so much?” I’m starting to get worried at this point, I’ve never seen Paul look at me with such intensity.
“Matter to me? It’s matters to the whole damn family! Cock size is more than a number, it quantifies your entire personality. You can’t call yourself a member of this family if your walking around with a fucking baby carrot between your legs”
Paul went on explaining the history of this family, and how the men found success through leveraging their superior cocks, both literally and figuratively. According to him, my dad was somewhat of a legend, with a massive 10 inch meat cannon. Apparently during a final 200 meter dash in highschool, my father won by enlarging his penis so much and preformed a pelvic to win the race. I always felt like I never lived up to my father’s athletic record, but now I know that I come short in more ways than one.
So how could my dad’s cock be so big, and mine be so small? I had to investigate.
It turns that penis endowment correlates with genes on both the X and Y chromosomes, meaning that both my mother and father’s genetics are responsible. My father’s side obviously is known for their legendary sausages, so I knew I had to speak with my mother.
She was incredibly reluctant to describe her male family members’ genitalia to me for some reason... odd. I knew I had to investigate further, so I called some of my cousins and uncles from that side. Turns out, the family has relatively average penis sizes, but all larger than mine. Combined they averaged about 6 inches.
Here’s what makes no sense, if my dad’s side has an average of 8 inches, and my mom’s side has an average of 6 inches, why don’t I fall within that range? I suspected my mother’s hesitancy to speak on the matter indicated a darker secret, so I went digging.
My mom was friends with a man she knew from law school named Brian, and I always suspected she might have had a thing for him. I reach out to talk, and he gladly accepts.
Over the phone, I ask him “So how big is your cock?”
“My cock? Ahh, unfortunately I was born with a rather small 3 inch cock, but it gets the job done. It’s about average in my family”
Bingo, what lies in between 3 and 6? 4.5. Brian was my father. But before I had a chance to ask him, the phone line disconnected.
My father stands across from me, holding the phone cord in his hand. He had been on the other line, and must have figured it out.
“I always knew...” he said with a solemn look in his eye. He sulked away and retreated to his room, feeling unworthy to face the rest of the family.
I realize now that I needed to at least make amends with my cousins, they might not be able to respect my cock on size, but maybe I could demonstrate the skill and speed of my cock.
The dinner party was about to start, my mother and father had clearly been arguing and didn’t show up. Nobody bothered to look at me, and when they did catch my eyes I only saw disdain.
I realized now was the chance, and stood up on the table.
“I challenge anybody who’s man enough to a sword fight!” I declared, whipping my smaller cock out into the air for everyone to see.
At first I was met with silence, but then Vinny steps up, with rage in his eyes...
“Tough talk for a fella with a small cock”
He joined me on the table, summoning is terrifying 9 inch meat penetrator. I quickly assumed a guard position, I was 5 inches short from a fair fight, so I had to play defensively.
He charged with his penis in hand, swinging wildly, but clearly underestimating my maneuverability. I dodged and landed 3 quick jabs with the tip of my peen on his shaft. He reposted quickly, but I chambered his advanced and managed to strike at the balls. Vinny was down, but soon the rest of the family whipped out their cocks and prepared to engage in an all out melee.
The smell of musty dicks filled the air as men took their sides on the battlefield. Some came to defend me, admiring my valor in single combat with Vinny, while others came to avenge him. Soon a frontline emerged, reminiscent of the pike-and-shot warfare of the early modern period. Men on the front pushed and pulled with their cocks to make ground, while occasionally allowing for volleys of cum to fly across the room as artillery.
The battle was intense, casualties began to stack up, and it looked like my side was going to collapse.
Then my father came downstairs, 10 inch cock in hand.
“You may not be my son, anon, but you’ll always be my boy”
He and my allies charged, rallying our fallen comrades. I’d never seen a man cockfight like my father before. He used his massive schlong like a zweihander, cutting down two, three cocks at once.
Soon the battle ended, with Vinny’s allies surrendering in defeat. The room was covered in ball sweat and cum, dripping from the walls and ceiling.
I don’t know where I stand with the family currently. Many have learned to accept me, but I’m sure it will take years before the rest consider it. Who knows how many more wars this family will fight before peace is had... and it’s all my fault.
TL;DR: I revealed my cock length to my family, which escalated into a massive war.
So my gf(f19), was over and we were casually watching The Empire Strikes Back(I am 19 btw). And then, the Han freezing in carbonite scene came, and when Leia said 'I love you' to him, I kissed my gf. She was taken aback, and soon she started kissing me too. I slowly pushed her down on the bed as we had more steamy, passionate and romantic kissing. In no time, our clothes were off, and I was ready to put it in. But our dumbasses forgot to pause the movie... As soon as I was putting it in, the 'I am your father' line came and I instantly got harder. My gf was loving this. I put it in her. She screamed with joy. I was also having fun. But then, the Imperial march started playing. I felt something come over me. The Sith shall rise. In my anger and lust for power I force choked my girlfriend. My journey to the Dark Side was complete. Luke's resistance and weakness to join the darkside completely enraged me. I am now marching all the way to Los Angeles to beat up Mark Hamill with my lightsaber.
If you only knew the power of the Dark Side, Luke
So a while ago I started seeing stuff in the dark, spiders, animals, dead humans, organs, shadow people, etc because of a mdma trip turned bad. I've grown used to it to the point I don't really mind em anymore. This evening I popped a couple bars and some meth and went to bed. (meth was taken a while ago). Genius that I am, I decided to whip out my dick to see how the shadow people would react. They got closer but not too close. Eventually I started masturbating. Slowly but surely some shadow people joined in giving me handjobs or blowjobs (visually only). I came. Was weird but nice I guess. ?/10 Might do a hallucination report completely sober if enough people are interested (it's never a fun time lol).
