Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Am I an asshole for calling my friend a black hole?
Agnt was on the call discussing the ideal size for the penis, if size matters etc and in the middle of the discussion she said that her boyfriend's ex was 15cm and that he was small, she called him a bitch and such.
I thought it was extremely unnecessary to keep explaining the size of guys' dicks to random people and I said that 15cm is not only considered above average but is also considered big in certain countries
She said that this "average" has no foundation and that she thought it was small and basically gave a shit about all my arguments
I ended up getting annoyed and asked "does he really have a small dick or are you a well?" And I also called it a black hole, a Mariana Trench and a break-in. She left the call and is still not talking to me and ignoring my messages.
When my son was 4 years old I took away his mattress and forced him to sleep on the floor every night.
If he did his chores, I closed his window.
If he got straight A's, I gave him a blanket.
If he got in a fight at school and won, I wouldn't force him to take his shower cold.
One day, he asked me,
"dad, why is that no matter how hard I work, I can't seem to earn a bed?"
I slapped him, first - every question carries a price - then responded,
"son, you can work as hard as you can in this world, it doesn't always mean you're going to get what you want."
Then I asked him,
"is there a bed in our house?"
He answered,
"yes, but it's yours, isn't it?"
I punched him again - for the question - then told him
"yes. If you want a bed, you need to fight me for it."
Our president is 80 years old.
The average age of our senate is 64 years old.
Young people expect the older generations to give them everything, they are never raised to fight for and take what they want, so they deserve nothing.
Waking up to my 7 year old with a blade held to my throat was the proudest I'd ever been.
As I slept on the floor, shivering that night in the cold (he also took my blanket and broke my window), I rested soundly, knowing I'd taught him well.
Hello everyone, my name is Felix, and I work as a mailman. Anyway, I noticed one of the houses in my path is full of pigeons, shitting and...moaning, like sexually. I was very confused, as the whole house was now covered in bird shit, feathers,...and semen. The house smelled so bad that it made me gag, yet I was concerned for the residents, and anyway I had to deliver their mail. So I knocked on the door. No answer, just a strange rhythm. I peeked at the window. I will never forget what I saw.
A juicy, zesty, muscular black man was on his couch, driving a pigeon up and down his crotch, the pigeon was moaning like an overexaggerated porno, the man was moaning too, and I was having the time of my life, watching the man fuck pigeons. I immediately stripped naked and started to pump my schlong aggressively, semen coming out like water from a fire hydrant. I grabbed a pigeon, and started fucking the hell out of it, and it seems like my 10in cock was too much for the little guy, and he exploded into a million pieces of flesh, blood, and semen. For weeks, I am outside this house, endlessly fucking pigeons and throwing away their exploded remains, the neighborhood has done anything to stop me. They protested, called the police, yet no human or pain can take me away from my beloved. Pigeons.
The day have not been passed but this update is urgent.
Remember the pigeon I raped? Well he was suppose to tell his friends to be afraid of me INSTEAD, he went and told all his friends that I fuck and now I have a bigger problem. The pigeons, both male and female keep coming to my window sill and balcony and harassing me begging me to fuck them. There is 100x more shit on my balcony now. They keep cooing, moaning, and banging against my windows begging for the dick.
I can’t leave my house anymore because when I do, they recognize me and mob me humping me and moaning. My plan didn’t go as expected at all and I don’t know what to do now. I can’t sleep at night because of all the cooing, moaning and banging against the windows. Is there a way to make myself unattractive to the pigeons? Has anyone dealt with this before?
Also I heard news some new neighbour is coming into my town named "Jamal"
Today, I saw a pigeon land on my balcony and I absolutely lost my shit. I was struck with a primal urge to assert male dominance and went out, grabbed the pigeon, took it into my bathroom, and assfucked it raw over my toilet bowl. It felt good to show the pigeon who’s boss like how people do it in prison. My cock barely fit inside his small ass, and for a moment I thought my thrusts could kill or severely injure him. He started cooing and moaning, and he came all over my toilet bowl. I finished inside him raw.
I took him back to the balcony and released him so that he could tell all his friends how I humiliated him and pounded a gaping hole in his ass prison style. I thought this would scare them away for good.
Hopefully this bitch wont comeback with his friends.
