Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) is a martial art that focuses on grappling and ground fighting.
Last night, a new girl challenged me to grapple at the BJJ gym. I could tell immediately: she was a noob. It was one of those moments where I could sense her confidence, but she had no idea what she was about to face. I was just chilling, wiping down my gi and doing some light stretching (read: flexing my arms in the mirror), when this girl—let’s call her Amber - walks in with her friend. She looked like the type who thought she was a badass, like she’d been “training” for a few months and could take anyone on.
I was sitting there, the king of the mats, silently basking in the glow of my superior experience. But she had no clue. She looked at me, eyes full of that cocky energy, and said, "Hey, wanna roll?"
I could already tell, she thought I was just some guy here for “cardio.” What she didn’t know is that I’m a master of my art form. I’m like Scorpion of the Shirai Ryu—absolutely relentless, a perfect balance of calm and brutality. But in her mind? I was just some guy who probably didn't know a rear-naked choke from a guillotine.
Her friend, of course, was hyping her up, “I’ll bet 50 bucks she taps you out!”
I barely even looked up. “Double it,” I said, cool as ice. You can’t mess with a gigachad like me. I was about to demonstrate the power of true mastery.
I strutted over to the mats, slowly wiping the sweat off my brow, making sure she could see how effortlessly I moved. This was it. My time to shine. I had no doubt in my mind—i was going to break her.
She smiled, clearly thinking she had this in the bag. I could see it in her eyes: she didn’t respect my skill. But she would. Oh, she would.
We squared off, and I just waited. She shot for a sloppy takedown, full of desperation, probably trying to throw me off balance. But I saw it coming. Like the master I am, I pulled guard with perfect technique. I felt her body go stiff, like she had no idea what was happening. I had her trapped.
She tried to posture up, thinking she could shake me off. Big mistake. I smoothly transitioned into a sweep, flipping her onto her back. It was like I was in a different dimension, moving with the grace of a true artist. I knew what I was doing; she didn’t. I controlled the pace, every movement a calculated stroke of genius.
She tapped out almost immediately.
“First round’s mine,” I said, offering her a calm smile, as if I hadn’t just absolutely destroyed her.
Her friend looked disappointed, but she tried to mask it with a laugh. "Okay, okay, rematch!" Amber said, a bit more flustered this time. “Let’s go again.”
Round two? Same story. I dominated, I let her get in a few weak attempts, but they were all futile. The whole time, I could feel her panic rising. “You’re... you're too good," she stammered. But this wasn’t about skill for me. It was about absolutely asserting what a relentless warrior I am.
I caught her in a triangle and she tapped again. Clean. Effortless.
“You know, I really thought I’d do better,” she admitted, face flushed.
“Most people do,” I said, casually wiping sweat off my brow, like I wasn’t already three steps ahead of her.
Now, this is where I could’ve stopped. I could’ve been a gentleman and ended it there. But nah. She kept pushing, trying to pretend she wasn’t mentally broken. I could see the way she was looking at me: her eyes wide, like she was starting to understand that I was no ordinary grappler. I could feel the tension building.
At this point, I could tell she wasn’t just looking for a win. She was looking for more - maybe some validation, some hint of power, but she wasn’t going to get it. I was a master of my art form, a master of the mat.
She went for a single-leg takedown. She was desperate, but desperation is nothing in the face of true skill. I smoothly sprawled, trapped her, and before she knew it, I was on her back. I secured the choke with a precision that would make most BJJ black belts jealous. She tapped out again, completely powerless.
She wasn’t even mad anymore. She was impressed.
I took a long, deliberate sip from my water bottle, looking at her like I’d just shared some secret, ancient knowledge. “One more?” she asked, voice trembling. She wanted more.
I looked at her, and I could see she was hooked. She was learning. She was starting to appreciate the effortless mastery I exuded. "Sure,” I said, “But this will be the last one.”
I wasn’t just going to beat her. I was going to finish this with style. With flair.
I let her win the first round. Let her. She didn’t even know it, but it was part of my strategy. I was paying her back for her determination.
“0-1,” I said, my voice dripping with mock pity. "But don’t get too cocky.”
She looked at me, confused, as I casually set up my next move. I hit her with a clean sweep and transitioned straight into a mount. My knees locked in place like steel, and with a slight adjustment, I had her right where I wanted her. The choke was flawless.
Tap.
2-1.
I stood up, casually adjusting my gi, the ultimate gigachad victory. She stared up at me, breathless, probably wondering how she’d gotten so wrecked. She touched my arm as she stood up, feeling my massive bicep, looking at me with admiration—maybe something more, but I wasn’t there for that.
“Thanks for the roll,” I said, my voice calm and collected, like I had just finished a regular sparring session. “You’ve got potential, but you’re not there yet.”
She smiled weakly, and with a final glance at me, she left with her friend. I didn’t even care that I would never see her again. I was the master of my art form. My legacy was secured.
And she? She was just another girl who tried to challenge the gigachad.
Dark Souls ruined my life. There were some thugs who tried to rob me the other day. I immediately roared and tried to replicate Manus' five hit combo. They laughed and kicked the shit out of me. When I was shopping, I found a cool greatcoat and tried to look its item description. It was a bit heavy, "I wish I had Havel's Ring." I said to myself. I asked the shop assistant how much souls is it. She yelled at me, I didnt understand why for a second. My mom says she is worried about me, I replied her how cool it is to use ultra greatswords. She doesnt get me. I started to roll when I saw a dog in the park, thinking it was Sif. I also feel discomfort about there are not enough blacksmiths in my area to forge my armor. Dark Souls ruined my life.
So i was walking from the store with my groceries when i suddenly bumped into Frank Supercell. I said that i recognized him and knew who he is, when suddenly frank grabbed me by my shoulders and asked if i bought this season’s brawl pass, i said no. After that he suddenly punched me in the gut, took my groceries and ran away. Is there anything i can do? Should i contact supercell support?
From a Reddit comment reacting to Oklahoma State losing to BYU 38-35.
When I was a kid, I went hunting with my dad. A buck jumped out in front of where we were hunting, and I went to shoot it. However, I got to excited, and instead of shooting in behind the shoulder blade, I pulled the shot. The buck didn’t take off. Instead, he just kind of scrunched up, like he was in pain. I reloaded the rifle and finished him with a second shot. When we inspected the carcass, we found out that I had somehow shot the deer directly in the testicles, hence the reaction.
That deer is exactly what being an Oklahoma State fan is like. Life seems fine, then some douchebag shoots you right in the balls before killing you.
Every unofficial Pokemon stories/lores leaked from the Game Freak data breach including the Typhlosion kidnapping a girl and the woman raising a Slakoth child. Many have pointed out that these are clearly inspired Japanese folklores or mythology intended to flesh out the world, but then it’s watered down before being completely canned. Alternatively all of these could had been a Game Freak employee’s fan made stories so it isn’t cannon.
Original Sin Based on the Current Pokémon World (Slakoth/Slaking lore)
Theme: Original Sin Based on the Current Pokémon World
In the distant past, when the boundary between Pokémon and humans was still blurred, there was a woman and her companions. Every day, they were bored, so they would often catch Slakoth living in the nearby forest. They played cruel games with the captured Slakoth, sometimes killing them for fun, gouging out their eyes, or cutting off their ears.
One day, the woman was walking alone in the forest and saw a Slakoth hanging from a tree. She climbed the tree to catch it, but slipped and injured herself. At that moment, a Vigoroth appeared. This Vigoroth had a torn ear. The woman, startled, tried to flee, but her injured leg hurt too much, and she couldn't move. The Vigoroth with the torn ear suddenly attacked her when it saw her. The woman lost consciousness.
When she awoke, she was in an unfamiliar place. Before her lay a clear lake, surrounded by trees, from which many Slakoth and Vigoroth were hanging. All the Pokémon bore wounds somewhere on their bodies - marks left by the woman and her companions. Upon closer inspection, she noticed that some of the Slakoth hanging from the trees were corpses. They were the very Slakoth that the woman and her friends had killed and discarded. The Slakoth were throwing those corpses into the lake. Terrified, the woman tried to run away, but a Slaking appeared. This Slaking also had a torn ear. The woman realized that this was the same Vigoroth she had seen earlier, and fear overwhelmed her, causing her to faint once more.
When the woman regained consciousness, she found herself at the entrance of the forest near her home, surrounded by her friends. They carried her back to her house.
Some time later, the woman gave birth to a child. But it wasn't a human child- it was a Slakoth. She intended to abandon it, but couldn't bring herself to do so. She stopped meeting with her friends and decided to raise the Slakoth.
One day, her friends, concerned about her, visited the area near her home. They found the Slakoth sleeping there - the child of the woman. As they always did, they caught the Slakoth, stabbed it in the chest, and killed it. They took its corpse and headed to the woman's house. When she saw the slain Slakoth, the woman was overwhelmed with sorrow. She grabbed the Slakoth's body and ran deep into the forest. Her friends, shocked, chased after her.
As they ventured deeper into the forest, the surroundings suddenly opened up, and they found the same clear lake from before. Around the lake were many Slakoth and Vigoroth. The woman stood before the lake, and, holding the lifeless body of the Slakoth, she threw herself into the water.
Afterwards, the woman's friends began to treat Slakoth as companions, just as she had in her final moments.
The Collapse of Culture and Relationships
Theme: The Collapse of Culture and Relationships
There was a time when the boundary between Pokémon and humans was blurred. In a coastal village, there was a man. One day, as he was walking along the shore, he found a female Octillery washed up on the beach. The man had relations with the Octillery and then threw it back into the sea. The next day, he went to the same spot and found the same Octillery again. He once more had relations with it and threw it back into the sea as before.
One night, after several days had passed, the man had a dream. In the dream, the Octillery spoke to him. "I cannot come to you, but I will deliver our child to you. It is our child, yours and mine."
The next morning, the man went to the place where he had met the Octillery. There, he found a boy. The man took the boy home and raised him. Time passed, the boy grew into a young man, and the father passed away. The young man was always lonely.
One day, as the young man was walking along the shore, he saw a group of people playing in the distance. They all held very large swords in their hands as they danced. The young man approached the people, and as he got closer, he saw that Sharpedo were playing along the beach. When he tried to get even closer, the Sharpedo suddenly leapt into the sea all at once. However, one of the Sharpedo lingered, looking around three times before swimming away. At the spot where the Sharpedo had been playing, there was a large sword lying on the ground. It was a shape he had never seen before, and it was very sharp and pointed. The young man took the sword home.
The next day, the young man took the sword and went into the forest. While walking through the forest, he encountered an Ursaring. He tried slashing at the Ursaring's mouth with the sword, and the mouth was easily severed. Next, he stabbed at the Ursaring's eyes, and they were easily pierced. Finally, the young man thrust the sword into the Ursaring's chest, and the Ursaring died effortlessly. That day, the young man killed thirty Ursaring. After that, he always carried the sword with him, playing by injuring the Pokémon he encountered or cutting off parts of their bodies.
One autumn, while the young man was searching for firewood, he lost his way. After walking for a while, he stumbled upon an Ursaring's den. Inside, there was an elderly Ursaring lying down. The elderly Ursaring looked at the young man and said, "Come inside." The young man hesitated, but as it was getting dark outside, he entered the den. Before long, people began to enter the den one after another, filling the room completely. Looking closer, he saw that all the people had scarred faces, and some were missing their eyes. They were chatting among themselves, but the young man ignored them and fell asleep. At one point, he woke up to find the elderly Ursaring lying beside him. He fell asleep again. When he awoke once more, there were many people around, talking about something. Again, the young man ignored them and went back to sleep.
When spring arrived, the elderly Ursaring spoke. "Do you want to go home? Then I shall send you home. When you return, a Wailord will soon be found near the village. Go there. We will send a man. You must leave the sword behind and bring a witness. Why did you do such things, cutting faces and slicing off noses?"
The elderly Ursaring escorted the young man back to the village.
Upon his return, the young man recounted everything that had happened to the villagers.
The following morning, the young man took some villagers with him and headed to the shore. As they walked along the coast, they found a large Wailord. Nearby, on the beach, was a Teddiursa. When it noticed the young man, the Teddiursa hid in the forest, and a large Ursaring came out in its place. As the Ursaring charged at him, the young man tried to draw the sword he had hidden, but it got stuck, and he couldn't pull it out. So, he rushed at the Ursaring with his bare hands. The young man and the Ursaring grappled, punching each other's faces. They strangled each other with all their strength. And so, they choked each other to death, collapsing on top of one another.
The villagers went back and told others what they had seen.
The Relationship Between Humans and Pokémon / Human-like Ways of Thinking (Typhlosion lore)
Theme: The Relationship Between Humans and Pokémon / Human-like Ways of Thinking
Long ago, when the boundary between Pokémon and humans was unclear...
There was a village somewhere. One day, a girl from that village went into the mountains to gather firewood. She found well-dried, deadwood deep in the forest, so she kept going further in.
Before she realized it, the sun was setting, and she had lost her way. Around her, there were droppings from a Typhlosion, which made the girl anxious. Just then, a man appeared from the other side of the forest. His face didn't resemble anyone from the village, but he was very handsome. The man said:
"You must be lost, right? I know the way down the mountain, but with your pace, it would be midnight before we get there. I'll take you back tomorrow morning, so why don't you rest at my place tonight?"
The girl had no choice but to agree to the man's suggestion. The man took her hand and began to walk.
As evening fell, they arrived at a large cave.
"This is my home. You must be hungry, right? Wait here."
Saying that, the man went outside the cave. After he left, a red light shone from far away in the mountains, and there was the sound of trees swaying. Before long, the man returned, carrying many red berries. He said:
"Eat this, then let's sleep for the night. Even if you wake up before I do, don't look at my face."
The next morning, when the girl woke up, the man was still asleep. She honored their promise and stayed lying down, waiting. Before long, she fell back asleep.
She was awakened by the man's voice. When she looked outside, the sun was already setting.
"Today, we'll eat green berries. Wait here."
With that, he went out of the cave. After he left, the same red light shone from far away, and the sound of trees swaying echoed once more. By the time the sun had set completely, the man returned, carrying many green berries. He said:
"Eat this, then let's sleep for the night. Even if you wake up before I do, don't look at my face."
The girl expressed her concern that her family would be worried and that she wanted to go home soon. The man yawned widely and tapped her on the head. At that moment, she completely forgot about her family and home. The two of them ate the green berries together and then fell asleep.
The same routine continued, with them waking up when the sun had set, the man going out to gather berries, and the two of them eating and sleeping together. Eventually, the girl realized that the man was a Typhlosion.
As winter approached, the Typhlosion dug deeper into the cave and said to the girl: "Go and gather wood for firewood. Break off the branches from the higher parts of tall trees."
The girl tried to do as the Typhlosion instructed, but the tall trees scared her, so she could only climb the shorter ones. When she brought back some branches, the Typhlosion said: "That won't do. If it's not from higher branches, humans will find us."
When the snow began to fall, the two of them lived in the depths of the cave, mostly sleeping. There was plenty of food. Occasionally, they would wake up, eat, and then go back to sleep. One day when she awoke, the girl was holding a child. After several days and nights passed, the Typhlosion said: "Your father is looking for you. But you are my wife, so I can't return you. I will have to fight him."
The girl pleaded: "Please don't do that. Don't kill my father. How can I live with you if you kill my family? You are a good person. So, please stay here with me and sleep."
"Alright. Let's stay here and sleep."
The man nodded.
The next night, the Typhlosion woke the girl and said:
"Your father is close by. Go and see."
When the girl went outside, a snowstorm was raging. She climbed a low tree and broke off a branch.
When she returned to the cave, the Typhlosion was singing a song she had never heard before.
"You broke off a branch, didn't you? Soon, your father will come here. I am going to do something bad to your father. If I am killed, take my eyes, my voice, and my heart. Build a fire at the spot where
I was killed and burn them. And while they burn, sing this song until the fire goes out."
The girl said: "Please don't do it. Don't kill my father. If anyone is to be killed, let it be you." "Goodbye. We will never meet again."
With those words, the Typhlosion went outside.
After a while, there was a loud noise, and when the girl looked outside, she saw her father had killed the Typhlosion. She rushed out and said to her father:
"Father, you have killed my husband. I have been living with him all this time. He was my husband. Please give me my husband, the Typhlosion's eyes, voice, and heart."
The girl built a fire at the place where the Typhlosion had been killed and put his eyes, voice, and heart into the flames. She sang the song the Typhlosion had taught her until the fire burned out.
The girl's father built a small hut on the edge of the village for the girl and her child to live in. Eventually, spring arrived. The young men of the village often teased and tormented the girl and her child. It became worse over time, and one day, they tried to drape a Typhlosion's pelt over them. The girl returned home and pleaded with her parents: "Please tell the villagers to stop teasing us. If they put that pelt on us, we will surely become Typhlosion. We are already half-Typhlosion as it is."
Despite the parents' pleas, the villagers did not listen. In fact, they found it even more amusing and eventually draped the Typhlosion pelt over the girl and her child. At that moment, they howled loudly and vanished into the depths of the forest. The two were never seen again.
And so, people came to understand: Typhlosion are half-human beings.
Official origin of the Pokémon universe
Aus commanded them to create a world of prosperity and abundance for their people, and they fell into a deep sleep.
When Ia neighs loudly, there flooded the place with light.
After Ia walked, a glow extended and gently illuminated the area.
When Ia neighs loudly, time was released there.
After Ia walked, everything began to move slowly.
A vessel was created there to hold the world.
Though the forms of Ia and Air were very different, they loved each other and had three children.
Rei, the god of eyes, Ai, the god of hearts, and Hai, the god of voices, were born.
When Rey awoke, all things appeared there. Colors and contours were born.
When Ai wished, everything was felt there. A sense of calm spread.
When Hai shouted, everything trembled there. A happy tone began to echo.
Ia and Air gave the three the seed of life and commanded them to nurture it.
As the three prayed in a circle, the seed of life sprouted.
The sprout grew and grew, eventually becoming a giant tree of life.
However, the tree of life, which never stopped growing, soon filled every nook and cranny, and no one was able to move.
The three of them had no choice but to cut down the tree of life.
Ray wrapped his body around the tree of life.
Ai and Hai slammed their bodies into the tree of life.
Soon the tree of life collapsed and shattered into three pieces.
The three prayed again, lamenting the fact that the tree of life would decay away.
Then three deities descended on the pieces of the tree of life.
Lekuza, god of the sky. Gradon, god of the earth. Kaiyoga, god of the ocean.
As the three deities neigh, the shattered tree of life transformed into the sky, the earth, and the sea, respectively.
Lekuza transformed into the main pillar that holds up the heavens.
Its shadow, soaring through the sky, became the god who sustains the heavens, called Caillou.
The atmosphere enveloped the sky and the stars twinkled
Its a joke posted on the HasanAbi subreddit but some people actually thought it was real. Both streamers, Hassan and Destiny are known to have beef against each other.
Hassanheads, you're gonna love this. So I buy cannabis pretty regularly, and a few days ago, I met this delivery guy who seemed pretty cool. We started talking about his job, and I felt like we were connecting. But then I asked him what podcasts he listened to while he drives, and he mentioned destiny. Instantly, I knew I was dealing with a deranged weirdo, and any connection that was there was gone. I sort of gave him an "ahhhhh" that tried to convey my judgement appropriately. Then, this awkward, bumbling loser tried to make conversation by asking me who I listened to, and I, of course, said hasanabi, the voice for the left. He said something like "Oh I like him too!", but I already knew who he was really a fan of. As we finished our business, I put the 20$ that I was going to use to tip weirdo back into my pocket, and went back inside. Boy am I glad I held off. I hope that guy learns what being a destiny fan will bring him 😠😠😠
