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Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.


The objectification of gd users has gone too far

    So there I am, eating my lunch playing gd when a group of females come up to me, obviously trying to flirt with me, talking about what my hardest is or something. They eventually stopped talking to me though for some reason as soon as I started demonstrating my clearly superior skill and intellect at the game (I don't see why honestly).
    
    This has not been an isolated incident, for the past several weeks at my middle school every woman has tried to court me. I've even gone as far as to sit in the most isolated part of the lunch room away from everywhere else and put my stuff to block anyone sitting next to me, but an asian girl (5/10 imo) literally moved my stuff and started talking to me about how difficult Acu is. Listen, I don't care about your "difficult" levels, Acu is FAR from a challenge. I don't struggle on levels. and after repeatedly demonstrating that I was not interested in "Playing Pickle Chamber by Acratic" she finally left me alone. I wish these girls would just stop worshiping me just because I've done a main list level (which was not even remotely hard for me btw).
    
    The worst ones are the ones that don't even play gd. We'll be having a nice, normal conversation and the topic of what games I play comes up. As soon as I mention the letters "GD" I see the change immediately. The blushing and flustering, the clear advances, and so on. What makes a lowly non-gd player think they would EVER have a chance with me? What makes them think I would ever have a family that considers Touhou a rhythm "game" worth playing?
    
    Now, you may think I'm just extremely handsome (which I am) and that's what causes this, however my decently attractive acquaintances who play OSU (not smart enough to be considered friends imo) have no problems with this.
    
    People need to stop fetishizing us GD players. If you just want cheap sex, literally the Minecraft normies are right there. Anyone else agree?

    Why I Will Never Use Linux Again

      Why I Will Never Use Linux Again
      
      here is what happened when i installed linux for the first, and hopefully last time. i tried installing it and it didn't go well, so i did what any right-minded person would do and went back to windows. when i was walking home from work that night, Linus Turdvault suddenly approached me. he cornered me in an alley and told me to give him all of my lunch money. i was saving that money to buy Bloomberry Ice Cream tomorrow. so i told the creep to back off, and he called me a normie. then he blew on his viking war horn, prompting all of his fat ugly little penguin minions to corner me and start punching me in the stomach. i begged and pleaded for them to stop but every time they would just chant "user root is not allowed to execute" in unison. it was literally bone-chilling.
      i blacked out. when i woke up my galaxy z fold 5 was on the ground in pieces, my 80 dollars was gone from my wallet and the words "skill issue" were written on the pavement in my own blood
      pls share to spread awareness

      Linux GIMP

        >using linux in front of class mates
        >teacher says "Ok students, now open photoshop"
        >start furiously typing away at terminal to install Wine
        >Errors out the ass
        >Everyone else has already started their classwork
        >I start to sweat
        >Install GIMP
        >"Umm...what the fuck is THAT anon?" a girl next to me asks
        >I tell her its GIMP and can do everything that photoshop does and IT'S FREE!
        >"Ok class, now draw use the shape tool to draw a circle!" the teacher says
        >I fucking break down and cry and run out of the class
        >I get beat up in the parking lot after school 

        Actual thing my kiddo said to me ☺️😱👀💃

          I was making oatmeal this morning when I slipped and spilled it all over the floor. As I panic and scream, my 2 year old son says to me “Mother, fret not over spilt and soured dreams, for failure is the time-bending compass which guides us back to where we should have been. To remain here rather than follow it, would be to to stagnate.” My little kiddo is such a genius. 🥹

          My best friend converted to femboyism. Should I umm… uhh…?

            My best bro Jeff turned himself into a femboy, he calls himself Crystal. Yesterday we were PVPing in Minecraft and everytime I hit him he moaned quietly, after some time I told him to stop, even though I was hard as fuck by then. He said "Tee hee, fine I'll stop b-baka(he likes japanese cartoons and comic books), look at me now." I minimized the Minecraft window and my jaw dropped, there it was on my screen. Jeff's asshole, he streamed it to me on discord, the quality was pretty good for a webcam.
            
            My girlfriend walked into the room. Thankfully my reflexes were good enough after all those years of masturbation, I quickly minimized discord window. My gf looked me in the eyes and said "Was there your buddy Jeff's asshole on the screen just now?" Oh no, I wasn't quick enough. "Honey, it's not Jeff, it's Crystal" I mumbled. "What the fuck? It's totally Jeff, I would recognise his asshole anytim-" she stopped herself "Anyway, we are breaking up, you cheating scum!" my gf yelled and left. "Damn, bro, you ended my relationship" I said into the mic sadly. His response was "Ok, wanna fuck?"
            
            So, Reddit, should I? uhmmm... auughhummmm.... do the thinggg??? 🧐😩🤔 I crave some bussy, but it is NNN after all...

            Bloodborne boosts testosterone?

              I've been playing Bloodborne for the last 3 weeks and have noticed significant changes in my personality. I recently went for a stroll around my college campus and encountered a flock of fraternity boys, and couldn't help thinking that I could completely rock their shit with my moonlight great-sword. Similarly, in class as my professor was handing me an assignment, I upped my pistol and shot him within the parry window, however, there was no time for a visceral, he just collapsed unfortunately. I am writing this reddit post from a state penitentiary, and all i have left to say is, these other inmates about to fear the old blood.