Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
when i discovered i has throat cancer, my man booked a flight to japan and was gone for months. whenn he came back i sucked it so good, he pushed my head down on it aggressively to the point that you could almost see the tip imprinted on my neck making it appear as if i had an adams apple. Two days later , I found out i was cancer free. Turns out he went to Hiroshima and gave me free radiation therapy chemo for my throat via his long veiny member 🥰 remember girls , it he wanted to he would
*Inhales........ok this is going to bee a lot so get comfortable.
Ok so I have been playing Tf2 when I was 12 back in 2015 during the gun mettle update.
Some time had passed and I decided to join a community server that had voice chat and was only avalible in the state of texas (it was a texas specific server).
I was playing on dust bowl defence and was playing pyro (my main) until I saw a level 1 teleporter outside spawn so I decided to switch to engi and upgrade it.
Little did I know that teleporter belongs to the current love of my life (who will remain anonymous).
As the match went on 'she' started speaking into her microphone asking everyone to help her maintain her buildings, so I switch to enigi again and satrted upgrading her building on last.
The funny part was that I did not say anything in chat so it just looked like someone came, upgraded her buildings, switch to pyro and just left.
She liked that, she REALLY liked that, so much so that she decided to post her fucking discord into the chat and told that Dr.Peepee (me) could add her as a friend, so I did for some reason (no but seriously I could have been an online preditor and gave me her fucking discord).
She was messaging me about Tf2, how long I have been playing it and what was my favourite class etc (well that was not suspicious).
So I answered them and told her everything until she asked me about weather I was a boy or not.
I said boy and then she called me for voice chat because she needed proof, her camera was on.
If I could discribe her it would be a the most beautiful thing I ever saw.
She did not care and was asking me to speak and so I did.
At first I just said hi and we started talking about Tf2, our personal lives (not to much tho) and things like being in texes in which she said she was from austin, I was from austin..........hell ya.
I told her that I was also from austin and she told her fucking location (I DID NOT SHOW MY FACE YET).
This is getting weird but then I relized her location was very near, just a long walk away.
At this point I thought I was being lured in buy a deepfake or an online preditor or something but it was just to convincing, she even showed a picture of her house on her phone (it was a selfie).
I was convinced so on a random afternoon I decided to visit her because not.
It took an hour but once I arived it was the same house as the one in the picture so I was really exited.
I knocked the door and was greeted by her, she did not know me at first but soon realized that it was me.
She let me inside.She let me inside.She let me inside.
We started talking for hours but thats not what you all are here for because a few weeks later she called me to come to her house again and that her parents were not home.Her parents were not home.Her parents were not home.Her parents were not home.
This was my chance because I started to like her a lot.
This all felt to good to be true, Iwas living in heaven, everything was perfect.
I think you all know what happens next but thats is not I want to say.
Instead I just want to thank eveyone that made this fucking beautiful community and the poeple who risked everything making this beautiful fucking game.
Thank you for everything.
I mean it.
I hope you all have an amazing 2024 cause I know I will with my GF.
Oh ya and for those who did not get it, we fucked.
SO THAT WAS YOU!!!
I was all set on having a nice quiet dinner with my girlfriend to celebrate our first year together...
I’d bought some fresh tomatoes to make my homemade pasta sauce, and I’d gone to the small boutique bakery to buy some filo pastry for dessert. I was quietly going through the recipes in my mind when I heard your slurred grumbled announcement, “...You’re about to loot my balls...” I tried to ignore it but, I couldn’t ignore the furious grunting like a drunk man having a seizure. As I looked up I could see the fury in the other commuters eyes. A man looking like a professor had stood up and was about to reproach you when the dull clatter of your phoned on the train car floor seemed seemed to pause all movement in the carriage. The professors eyes widened, sweat suddenly beaded on his forehead and with fevered anguish he started undoing his belt and fly like a man who thought a hornet was caught in his pants.
I was bewildered as all the other men in the car started convulsing like extras in Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video. A woman sat across from me was doing her best to emulate a Russian gymnast trying to grate cheese from her crotch with the sole of her Nike running shoe.
I bolted upright, panicked but prepared to fight, when in the corner of my eye the neon glow of your phones LCD screen drew me sight.
I suddenly felt a bizarre euphoria fill my mind and a white hot heat electrify my spine and form a prism of pure desperate release in my loins.
I can’t remember much else, I awoke from some kind of fever dream in a public toilet cubicle. My jeans and underwear had disappeared, but I was still wearing my Myrell slip ons, shirt and now crusted overcoat, like a cross between Donald Duck and a homeless student.
I can hear another man weeping in the cubicle, keeps muttering he just wanted to fly.
I feel so cold and drained. My organ is so mangled it could unpick the locks of wooden medieval doors. There’s filo pastry all over my thighs and knees.
But despite all this I feel a warm contentment like I’d found ‘the’ answer. I don’t know what this means, I know there will be questions, that there should be much to fear. But truly I am grateful. Thank you.
ive been crying in my room for 2 hours now. I was making some salad dressing in the kitchen with my pet hamster manny (I let him roam around). My sister and her friends were also in there doing something. I spilled a bottle of vinegar, so I left to get a towel and when i came back manny was drinking it. I didnt think anything of it so I let him help me clean it up. all of the sudden manny starts acting really weird. hes normally very full of energy but he was just sitting still. Everyone gathered around him to try to figure out what was wrong. suddenly we hear a fizzling noise coming from inside manny and he started expanding. he let out a final squeak and bursted. bubbles and blood went everywhere. my sister and her friends started screaming and crying. I ran and got my dad and he cleaned it up. we looked in the pantry and apparently manny got into the baking soda and ate abunch of it. I think im traumatized now
I don't smoke, vape, or do any drugs other than what the doctor gives me. Still got the ol' V-card too. Heck, my rizz levels are probably in the negatives as I haven't even had my first romantic kiss, let alone held hands in a romantic context. I also get okay grades in school so overall, no issues here, right?
However...
I just had to go and turn out fucking trans and apparently my parents aren't happy with my existence all because I'm not the gender they picked out for me.
In gamer terms, I guess I'm basically trying to customize my skin because I hate the default one assigned at spawn, but the mods don't care and they say I gotta play using the default skin anyway no matter how much I dislike it. Being mods they also notice when I try using cheat codes to get around the rules. The whole thing is a load of BS honestly.
i knew a guy like this. this is gonna sound fake but i swear on my life it's real. as a teenager, he would play world of warcraft for days at a time with minimal breaks except the required stuff (food, water, bathroom). well, even the bathroom sometimes got nixed so he could keep playing wow. instead of getting up to shit, he would literally shit himself so that he could finish whatever dungeon or quest he was on and then go clean up later. he did this for years but eventually grew out of it when he was bullied for it in high school, so bullies 1 gamer shitters 0, i guess.
so anyway, he would wipe this chair down as best he could, but it was a cloth office chair and it legitimately looked like these seats in the OP. just a brown asscrack shaped silhouette. you can be wearing pants, but the shit moisture is gonna seep right through. it's important to remember the diet of these people has them in a perpetual state of diarrhea or at best, soft-serve. there aren't solid, healthy turds coming out. there is a half gallon of mud in those trousers. that will seep through even the most tightly woven fabrics. these pant shitters should really consider investing in leather pants, or perhaps just fully commit to diapers?
