Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
I (57, white male) was recently taking a stroll down my neighbourhood when I suspiciously saw a group of high school girls listening to Drake (🤮) of all people, so being an loyal fan of Kung Fu Kenny I decided to scream "OV-HOE!!!!" at them and run away, they got angry at me and started chasing me! fearing that they might make me listen to Toosie Slide, I ran as fast as I could.
While running from them I accidentally wandered into "the hood" that Kdot is always talking about. That is when my eyes truly opened to the genius that is Kendrick Lamar Duckworth, I saw a black gentlemen listening to Not Like Us, and tears fell down from my eyes as I finally realised the impact that Kendrick has made, he truly was what the culture was feeling.
I went up to the fellow Kendrick enthusiast and saluted him for being on the right side of history. He was for some reason very confused as to why a crying man was saluting him so I decided to show him that I am indeed "certified" by rapping Not Like Us to him "WOP WOP WOP DOT FUCK EM UP" I shouted "WOP WOP WOP IMMA DO MY STUFF" I continued, "WHY YOU TROLLING LIKE A BITCH AINT YOU TIRED" I took a breath, "TRYNA STRIKE A CHORD AND ITS PROBABLY A MINORRRRR" I exclaimed. Seeing my dedication towards the art of Kdot made the Kendrick fan realise I was one of "the good ones" and he invited me to the cookout! ✊🏻
Kuro Games is the developer and publisher for Wuthering Waves and Punishing: Gray Raven.
I'm terrified of Kuro Games. Last night, they dropped a new survey, but I was too tired to fill it out, so I just skipped it and went to bed. Big mistake. Around 3:00 A.M., I woke up to the sound of my front door being kicked in. Before I could react, five Kuro drones flew into my room, their LED eyes glowing crimson.
They pinned me to my bed, holding me down at gunpoint. "Please rate your satisfaction with our latest region on a scale of 1 to 10," one of them buzzed. I tried to scream, but another bot shoved a barrel in my mouth. "What are your thoughts on playable characters? Do you like women in suits?"
I was shaking, unable to answer. My brain was mush. "WE PROMISE, WE DELIVER" they repeated in unison, their synthetic voices echoing through the room. I wanted to cry, but all I could do was stammer, "I-I liked the update... it was... g-good."
The bots paused, their eyes scanning me for sincerity. Then, as suddenly as they came, they flew out of my house, leaving a feedback form on my chest with "PLEASE COMPLETE THIS SURVEY" written in bold red letters along with 1,600 Astrites and a free 5-star Resonator.
I haven't slept since. Kuro Games, please... I promise I'll do the next survey. Just let me rest.
WE PROMISE WE DELIVER
WE PROMISE WE DELIVER
我們承諾
nous promettons que nous livrons
мы обещаем, мы доставим
Prometemos que entregamos
The amount I fucking use vlc is insane man, almost as insane as I must be for what I do with it
I download every season of every show I love
Parks and rec, the office, breaking bad, king of the hill, Futurama, corner gas, everybody loves Raymond, everybody hates Chris, rino 911, Brooklyn 99 etc etc etc
Than I goto the vlc play list section and get to work
I open every single show, which often looks like (scrubs season 1, scrubs seasons 2 etc than Futurama season 1, Futurama season 2) because they often come in organized folders thank God
I organize all the seasons so Rino 99 gets it's section and Chris gets his section
Then the real work begins. I drag a handful, maybe 10 episodes to the top of what eventually becomes this massive list.
I drag episodes 1-10 and manually move them in between episodes 1-10 of a different show, so it looks like Futurama season 1 episode 1, Simpsons season 1 episode 1, scrubs season 1 episodes 1, rino 99 episode 1 etc etc
Then it's Futurama season 1 episode 2, Simpsons season 1 episode 2, etc
The list gets so massive it takes forever to grab 10 episodes or more and slowly drag them to the top, the text is so tiny and you lose your place, gotta play an episode at every final drop off so you know where the next drop off should be ( next to that playing episode)
It can take me anywhere from 4 hours to 10 of mind numbing staring at tiny text with my blurry vision and white screen, but the ends so worth it
It's the closest thing to quality TV you can get, thousands of hours of only your favorite shows in order
But don't accidently hit any of the sort buttons like 'title" or you lose everything since your last save
I've lost 4 hours before doing that
Save it once it's all done, multiple copies because it's so valuable and thanx to vlc remembering what you last watched you can watch every show from start to finish in order and it's amazing
Let me tell you about Julius Belmont.
Dracula was the incarnation of all evil guaranteed to resurrect at least once a century, until he met Julius. When Julius Belmont ices a bitch, he stays dead. Dracula's immortal soul got fucked so hard it reincarnated as a Japanese twink. That's right, Julius gave the lord of darkness the John Numbers treatment.
Years later you get to play as Twinkula disciplining your pet castle and wannabe Dracula trying to fill the power vacuula. And it's all pretty tame until you meet Julius FUCKING Belmont, who is pretty FUCKING sure he said No Draculas. Some of you may remember the next part, because if you were young it's where you got your ass kicked to the sound of Julius' personal ass kicking mix. And once you think you've got him down he just uses Grand Cross, instantly kills you, and rips apart the castle in the background just because.
So you finally get through all that and become Top Drac, only for Soma's bat-senses to kick in and he comes to a realization:
"This motherfucker is sandbagging" "This is the hardest fight in the game and it's just Julius giving up because he feels sorry for me" "This is what Julius throwing a fight looks like"
Julius is like "Sorry I only feel comfortable killing vampires not Japanese women" and Soma doesn't correct him, just runs off to punch the castle in the snout until it behaves because Jesus Christ you stony prick you're going to get me killed.
And everything's fine until cultists try to get their hands on Dracula's stash again in Dawn of Sorrow. There you have to use touch screen to seal bosses or they'll resurrect indefinitely. Without sealing magic, you can't just murder bosses so hard so hard they don't come back--unless you're Julius Fucking Belmont. Fuck your touchscreen gimmicks, Belmont says.
How old is Julius during the games? Late fifties. This is what old and busted Julius Belmont looks like. Julius Belmont in his prime cannot be depicted, for no game can contain him.
It originated from 4chan’s /pol/ board after Bernie Sanders lost the presidential primaries to Hillary Clinton. The comment was actually an inside 4chan joke that is part of a series of tendies (chicken nuggets) greentext stories.
Bernie losing primaries (Original)
Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Bernie to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in New York???? This is so fucked.
NBA: Cleveland Cavaliers lost to Golden State Warriors
Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck are they losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Labron to win a title for The Land. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought they were supposed to steal one in the Oracle???? This is so fucked.
Dota 2 Crownfall patch
Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is there no patch? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Clownfall. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought it was Circus Day???? This is so fucked.
Jerma playing Kenshi
Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from what jerma is playing tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he playing this? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want jerma to stream good games. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was playing geoguesser???? This is so fucked.
I don't see Crash Bandicoot, but I wish I could. Even since I was a kid, I had always wanted to see Crash Bandicoot. My friends would always talk about Crash and the apparently wacky stuff he'd be doing on the PlayeStation, but I never saw it. I never Crash crash or whatever the hell he actually does, and my friends, my frustrating, frustrating friends would never really describe what Crash Bandicoot does in any real detail. All I knew was that he was wacky and that the game on the PlayeStation was the most fun game of all time.
I never saw him though. I watched them playe it too. I watched my friends playe Crash Bandicoot. but I couldn't see it. I thought they were jokeing with me, ya know? You ever joke with your friends? You ever had a mean joke with your friends when you were a kid? I bet you did. Because this is probably another joke.
Why else would you mention Crash Bandicoot? I can't see Crash Bandicoot. I can't see his wackiness, whatever form that takes, in the games, not in YoueTube clips, not on box arts, or posters, or fan art, or whatever else Crash might be allegedly able to be seen in. Show? Was there a show? Not like it matters.
And you're in on it. I can see that. I can't see Crash Bandicoot, but I can see that you know that I can't see Crash Bandicoot, and so what did you do? You teased me. You said, "Anyone else see Crash Bandicoot?" that laughed all hee haw like a lude donkey, didn't you? You did the laugh, didn't you?
I don't appreciate that. I don't appreciate that one bit. All I've ever wanted my whole life was to see Crash Bandicoot, and look, pal, I was in a place where I was secure with the fact that it just isn't something I'm able to do, but look what happens. Some pud tugger like you goes ahead and teases me with a little Crash Bandicoot search. You rekindle a little ember of hope in my Crashless heart and set me out to scour the comic in search of that elusive Crash Bandicoot, but nope. He's not there. Or if he is there, I still can't see him.
So, can you please log off your computer? You've done enough damage. I'm going to log off too, because I gotta relive all this Crash Bandicoot trauma.
Thanks a lot, jerk.
