Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.

My friends told HBOX that I was sick, and he came to our hotel room

Hungrybox or HBOX is one of the top ten Melee players in the world every year since formal rankings began in 2013.

I had a similar experience with HBOX. He's always been my favorite player, so me and the boys traveled to Florida to go to a local he was supposed to be at. I ended up coming down with tonsillitis so I couldn't make it. OR SO I THOUGHT. My friends told HBOX that I was sick, and he came to our hotel room and face fucked all the tonsil stones out of my throat so I could make the local. My fucking GOAT.

PLEASE mark this NSFW!! (Chicken Jockey edition)

Its the NSFW on a train copypasta but changed to Chicken Jockey reference from the Minecraft Movie.

PLEASE mark this NSFW!!! I was at my house, just lazing around with a bag of smart corn (not sponsored) scrolling through Reddit when I encountered this image, I couldn't contain myself, I had to scream "CHICKEN JOCKEY" at the top of my lungs and start furiously emptying my popcorn onto everything around me while my family said things like "you're a disappointment" and "what the hell is wrong with you?". I dropped my phone in the commotion and now there's a whole house of people going ballistic and throwing food. All of this could have been prevented if you just put an NSFW tag on your post.

Parents kicked me out of the house for installing Linux

Parents kicked me out of the house for installing Linux
byu/Yelebear inlinuxsucks

So we are low middle class family, and we share a single computer between the entire household.

Last evening my dad told me my mom is scheduled today for an online remote job interview. I love my mom, so I decided to reformat the computer and install Manjaro Linux to give her a bleeding edge workstation.

 

But she didn't appreciate that. She turned on the computer 15 minutes before her interview and idk what to say... she overreacted a bit. She said she needed Microsoft Teams for the interview, so I explained that Linux is installed in most of the world's online servers, so it should be good enough for her.

She wasn't listening, she asked if I made backups of her digital resume. I said no and then she cried.

So I squeezed her shoulders and told her that it's ok, because the most popular mobile OS is Linux (It's android btw).

 

She kept saying things like "how is that relevant" and "...my usecase", but I've had enough so I grabbed her by the legs and spun her around.

"LINUX..." I said as I spun her

"...RUNS..."

*spin *spin *spin

"...95 PERCENT..."

*spin *spin *spin

"...OF THE WORLD'S SERVERS"

I let go of her legs and she flew across the house.

 

I galloped towards her and I tied her up

"SYSTEM ADMINS PREFER LINUX, THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD USE IT TOO" I calmly explained as I tightened the knots.

Then my dad came into the room and tried to separate us.

"You need to leave" he told me.

"You don't understand," I argued. "Linux runs the world's internet infrastructure. And that's relevant because... because... because it just is, ok?!"

"We've taken care of you for 34 years" My dad replied, "it's time you grow up".

 

So now I'm packing my things, all because my close minded parents aren't willing to learn Linux, (fun fact: it's the number one operating system preferred by system admins)

POV: You’re playing against the biggest idiot on Earth

Least insane Clash Royale player shares his POV when playing against you on Reddit.

GOBLIN BARREL ON THE TOWER RIGHT AT THE START! Haha, you weren't expecting that, were you? I'm so good at this game. I've thrown so many goblin barrels, and they always do damage. It's crazy. Now, THINK FAST, CHUCKLENUTS! Princess at your bridge! Haha, what are you going to do? Oh, arrows? Good thing I have GOBLIN GANG! Oh, you used a swarm card? Cool, here's my Firecracker. Oh, where are your arrows? You wasted them! Haha! I guess you can't use air cards now. Hey, guess what? Valkyrie! Yaaaaaayyyyy! Then, watch this cool trick I learned on Youtube: I put the Hog Rider behind her, so he pushes her really fast, and counters any swarms you might use to kill the Hog Rider! Yaaaaaaaayyy!!!! isn't that cool? I bet you can't counter that! Hey, look at this cool emote I just bought where the princess yawns at you! Isn't that funny? I only use that one when I do something really skillful. Hold on, let me cycle through these skeletons and this ice spirit so I can use the exact same cards in the exact same order in the exact same spots, again Yaaaaaaaayyyy!!! Mommy says I'm special! She makes me eat these funny candies, but I just spit them out cuz they taste yucky.

I win against these "people" all the time, and I never enjoy a single second. They follow a routine, and I follow my routine. Then, I win. I make logbait "players" ragequit all the time once they realize I can still counter their spam cards without my log or arrows. I do this crazy thing where I deploy troops that can actually survive and counter things. I have this crazy skill called "defense" where I can actually react to my opponent, instead of turning my brain off, spamming the same stuff nonstop, and forcing someone else to think for me.

i told him she was the cookiezi of beauty so he threw a punch at me

Lifeline (top player in osu!) tells a story on stream about that one time he was tryna flirt with this girl. He later revealed that the story is actually an old copypasta.

so i was tryna flirt with this girl during lunch and then her boyfriend came up and was like "why u talkin to my girl like that" and i told him she was the cookiezi of beauty so he threw a punch at me luckily it was ar8 so i could dodge it easy then i hit300 him and he flops down

on the ground but then he unlocks his mangekyo sharingan and and jumps up and does a roundhouse kick and it was like ar11 but luckily i can read that shit so i dodged it no problem then i combo him like im tapping a 200bpm stream.he gets fced on and hes now dead.dude got ssed.he should know not to mess with lifeline on osu, rank 2. the girl flocks to me and shes like "omg do u listen to nightcore" and i was like yes i do and then she makes out with me and we live happily ever after

I showed osu! to a girl at work

Originally from a post on r/osugame but has since become a meme and other variations of the pasta has been created.

Osu

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the osu!demons inside me told me 'say it, Comfortable-Chip-740, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play rhythm games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a Big Black SS that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

Balatro

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the madness joker inside me told me 'say it, Narso, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play rogue-like games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a Perkeo Baron Mime naninf 5 hour run that I uploaded months ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

Old School Runescape

I showed osrs to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the osrs demons inside me told me 'say it, Bwananabread, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play mmorpg games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a 500 invo ToA that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

Guilty Gear

I showed Strive to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really'

So the GGST demons inside me told me 'say it, mini_tagus, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play fighting games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found my EVO 2025 grand finals match that I uploaded to YouTube a year ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

Bloons TD 6

I showed BTD6 to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really'

So the BTD6 demons inside me told me 'say it, pinpunch, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play tower defense games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found my CHIMPS bloody puddles completion that I uploaded to YouTube a year ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

Geometry Dash

I showed Geometry Dash to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the GD demons inside me told me 'say it, ComicalSans1, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play rhythm games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a Blood Bath 100% that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'Geometry Dash isn't a rhythm game you idiot' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

Brawl Stars

I showed Brawl Stars to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah... nahh not really"

So the brawl stars demons inside me told me to 'say it, mRigged, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play Supercell games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess, so I quickly found a Power League Mortis Solo carry video that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool...!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyways I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely.

Hypixel Skyblock

I showed skyblock to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the skyblock demons inside me told me 'say it, ecylios, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play on hypixel skyblock, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a sub 4 f7 s+ run that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

Chess

I showed chess to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play board games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the chess demons inside me told me 'say it, sokuto_desu, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play chess, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a match that I uploaded years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

Steins Gate

I showed Steins;Gate to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you watch anime?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the S;G demons inside me told me 'say it, sokuto_desu, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I watch Steins;Gate, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found an episode that I watched years ago, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

Class of ’09

I showed Class of '09 to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really"

So the '09 demons inside me told me 'say it, UzumakiMadeIt, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play Class of '09, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found a playthrough of that one route with the pedo that I uploaded years ago, and she watched the full video in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

War Thunder

I showed War Thunder to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really'

So the snail inside me told me 'say it, Romanian dude, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play war games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found the vid where an L3 gets brutally murdered, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely

Five Nights at Freddy

I showed Five Nights at Freddy’s to a girl at work

She came into work and was talking with me, and I randomly blurted out "so do you play games?" and she said "ah.. nahh not really'

So the bear inside me told me 'say it, animdude, tell her'. So I couldn't resist and I said 'I play horror games, do you want to see?' She reluctantly said 'oh yeah sure I guess', so I quickly found the vid where the bite of 87 happens, and she watched in horror.

Afterwards she was silent and said 'oh cool..!' and I didn't know what to say so I said 'yeah so that's me. Anyway I'll see you next week' and then I left work early to avoid having to explain myself

Hopefully by next time I see her she will have forgotten about my awkwardness completely