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Simp

Copypasta related to simp or simp culture which means a person who goes above and beyond for someone else in hopes of a romantic relationship.


The horniest post in history

    God i fantasize about her every night. I want her to sit on me, suffocating me until I can barely breathe, and just before I die from asphyxiation, she hands me a plastic straw from Chuck E. Cheese, from which i put my mouth on and try to breathe from. However, that straw is in her vaginal hole, and as for every atom of oxygen i intake, a liter of her pussy juices pour into my mouth. As I shove my way from under her soul crushing thighs, I gasp for the air I so desperately need. She stares down at me with a smug look, saying "Are you tired? We've only just started". She pounds my face in with her dirty, worn out foot, which she violently presses into my submissive face. I take a hard lick of each individual toe, sucking out all the dirt collected from god knows where. After both of her feet are licked spotless, she holds me down, and crushes my neck with her immensely muscular thighs. I struggle to breath, and I even achieve a point of utter hallucination. As I begin to realize I am horridly close from perishing from asphyxiation, my penis explodes with semen, as if a volcano erupting, yet instead of lava hot, sticky cum poured from my worn out penis. I gave her a 50$ bill, and she smiles and says "Same time next week?".

    Comment from idubbbz “controversy”

      no shut the fuck up you dumb fuck. you don't get to haha funny yourself out of this one. you're a simp. you act all edgy and cool on youtube and then go film your girlfriend shoving anal beads up her ass for onlyfans afterwards. fuck you. you lied to everyone. you ruined my life.

      Greta Thunberg is the reason I work out.

        Greta Thunberg is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the UN climate summit after party. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her on CNN She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Greta Thunberg? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't a climate change activist?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Mexico" I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's OK," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Mexico?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

        How exactly does one get p**sy while living at the white house as a teenage boy?

          How exactly does one get pussy while living at the white house as a teenage boy? The secret service always cock blocking you. when you're trying to run game on some foreign prime ministers daughter the news media catches you smiling at her and immediately blows shit out if proportion speculating that you are somehow breaking international law with your awkward teenage flirting, so you have to testify before congress that you didn't give away any top secret documents to her and are made to admit live on C-SPAN that you've never even kissed a girl . Then you get blue balls from some hot conservative girl winking at you and flashing her panties under her skirt and making sexy faces and blow job motions to you while you were going through some airport or public event, and when you passed by and shook her hand she leans in whispering she is going to diddle her clit thinking about you tonight and how much she wants to suck your dick off, just to fuck with you. Then you try to look up some porn when you get home just to relieve the tension but you just know the CIA is monitoring and 3 other govornment agencies are watching you beat off. Then you finally break down and Jack off in the shower which sets off some fucking biohazard drain alarm and the entire place is on lock down until they can find the source of the specimen and you end up getting debriefed by the joint chiefs of staff about your masturbatory habits and how you almost created a national security issue with your dick. Then wikileaks leaks your search history showing you looked up penis enlargement techniques when it was actually just some click bait you'd accidentally clicked and TYT spends all next week talking about your supposed micro penis. So you end up squirming a little since you are so wound up and being judged constantly and now people are saying you look like a fucking mental patient and you start to think you'll never get any pussy.

          Kanye West’s pussy.

            Kanye West with a pussy would be breathtaking. It would be so pink and he would make sure to wax every once in a while. His lips would be so silky. To see his clit, you’d have to spread his lips because they are also chubby. His walls are fluffy and it would be so easy for him to squirt.

            Attention all gamers

              Message to all recent players: Do you have a cute sister? I am single and I like to play Xbox games and I am looking for a girlfriend. She has to be hot like Megan Fox and she has to be nice to me cause I cry a lot. Help me find my soulmate