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Simp

Copypasta related to simp or simp culture which means a person who goes above and beyond for someone else in hopes of a romantic relationship.


Found on r/pokimane

    I admire her bravery so much. I dont have children but every day i practice talking to my future daughters across the table and telling them about how great Pokimane is. I tell them "sweety, you're a pokimane". I literally turned her name into a word that describes beauty, bravery, and poise.

I practice driving my future daughters to school and play highlights of pokimanes best laughs over the years. Sometimes we even have to pull over because we start crying from how much we love her. I hold my imaginary daughters and i howl. i howl and cry and rage into the steering wheel about how special she is, and how the world just cant understand.

    I’ve jerked off to the vampire girl from hotel Transylvania a total of 214 times.

      I’ve jerked off to the vampire girl from hotel Transylvania a total of 214 times. All I want in life is to penetrate her pale virgin vampire pussy with my 5.6 inch horse schlong and impregnate her while my dad watches and cheers me on. God just the thought of her sucking the smegma from my foreskin makes me cum my pants. I would literally kill myself tomorrow just to suck a single one of her toes today, why can’t she just fucking be real fuuuuuck

      Simping “nice guy”

        May I, a woman respecting and feminist- supportive male, see at least one breast from you my queen? I do not mean to come on as an improper male, and if this request disturbs you, please make me aware. You, my queen, deserve the utmost respect of any female. However, many of my gender seem to sexualize women and view them as sex toys. However, my Queen, I do not share these views. Rather, I value the female spectrum of the human race as the superior, and I, a respectful male, request for the viewing of an isolated, singular breast from your body. I await your response my Queen.

        Elder Maxson’s speech from Fallout 4 but it’s about Simps instead of Synths

          Brothers and Sisters, the road behind us has been long and fraught with difficulty, each and every one of you has surpassed my expectations by rapidly facilitating our arrival in the Commonwealth. You accomplished this feat without a hint of purpose or direction, and most impressively: without question. Now that the ship is in position it is time to reveal our purpose and our mission. Beneath the Commonwealth, there is a cancer known as the Institute, a malignant growth that needs to be cut before it infects the surface. They are experimenting with dangerous technologies that could prove to the world's undoing for the second time in recent history. The Institute scientists have created a weapon that transcends the destructive nature of the Atom Bomb. They call their creation: The Simps, a masculine abomination of humanity that is free-thinking, and donates money to female streamers, this.. notion.. that a loser could be granted attention will is not only offensive.. but horribly dangerous and like the atom, if they aren't harnessed properly, they have the potential of rendering us extinct as a species. I, can not allow the Institute to continue this line of experimentation. Therefore the Institute and their Simps are considered enemies of the Brotherhood of Steel and should be dealt with swiftly and mercilessly. This campaign will be costly and many lives will be lost, but in the end, we will be saving humankind from its worst enemy: Itself. Ad Victorium.

          The fact that her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard does NOT mean it’s better than mine.

            In the song titled "Milkshake" by Kelis, she exclaims how all the boys show up in her yard for milkshakes which claim to be better than mine. Not only is this self entitlement, but she doesn't give any valid reasons as to why her milkshakes are better. According to the lyrics of this boastful chant, she is willing to offer lessons for making such a milkshake but for a price. Could that mean that the ingredients used to make this milkshake cost more than the labelled price and instead of increasing it to maintain profit, she gives lessons on how to make such a milkshake in order to compensate for her lack of total earnings? Is she that desperate to keep the ALL the boys in her yard!? A low price in exchange for a higher consumer rate, and yet she claims that her milkshakes are better than mine. What if she were to increase the prices, will all the boys still head to the yard cause the milkshake is THAT good?? She even says that her milkshake making techniques "drive the guys crazy" and "freak these boys". It's unbelievable how one's milkshakes can be judged simply by how it's prepared. I highly believe that my milkshakes are capable of bringing all the people to the yard with hard work and reasonable prices. I'm assured that one day, I will be capable of creating ultimate milkshake which brings not only boys, but also girls to my yard. Let not one sex judge and conclude without having to hear from the other. And from there, it will bring equality and fairness into this competition of milkshakes. With that, I conclude that her milkshakes are not better than mine just because it brings all the boys to the yard.

            If you’re not a SIMP, then you’re gay

              If you're not a simp, then you're gay

Because if you thirst after girls, that's called being a normal teenage boy, but if you don't thirst after girls then you're probably gay