Skip to content

Simp

Copypasta related to simp or simp culture which means a person who goes above and beyond for someone else in hopes of a romantic relationship.


Instead of a boring ungrateful “thank you” for all the simps and niceguys who compliment you, try saying this instead!

    “Thank you so incredibly much for that lovely poetic compliment you bestowed on me you god-like alpha male. Please let me offer my gratitude by parting my legs for your pleasure to do whatever action crosses your mind. Then afterwards we will bond together in holy matrimony but it will be polygamous but only on your part. You may have sexual encounters with any other female you lay eyes on but I shall never even interact with other men, and even a casual verbal conversation counts as adultery for me. However if you find a dashing female for me to mate with and you watch and or join in no matter what my sexual orientation is, then I will submit to that bidding for you my lovely future husband. I love you more than anything in the world, and my only personality trait from now on will be that I’m yours and yours only because you are a genuine god amongst men.”

    Every simp ever

      Excuse me sir or ma'am
      
      but I couldn't help but notice.... are you a "girl"?? A "female?" A "member of the finer sex?"
      
      Not that it matters too much, but it's just so rare to see a girl around here! I don't mind, no--quite to the contrary! It's so refreshing to see a girl online, to the point where I'm always telling all my friends "I really wish girls were better represented on the internet."
      
      And here you are!
      
      I don't mean to push or anything, but if you wanted to DM me about anything at all, I'd love to pick your brain and learn all there is to know about you. I'm sure you're an incredibly interesting girl--though I see you as just a person, really--and I think we could have lots to teach each other.
      
      I've always wanted the chance to talk to a gorgeous lady--and I'm pretty sure you've got to be gorgeous based on the position of your text in the picture--so feel free to shoot me a message, any time at all! You don't have to be shy about it, because you're beautiful anyways (that's juyst a preview of all the compliments I have in store for our chat).
      
      Looking forwards to speaking with you soon, princess!
      
      EDIT: I couldn't help but notice you haven't sent your message yet. There's no need to be nervous! I promise I don't bite, haha
      
      EDIT 2: In case you couldn't find it, you can click the little chat button from my profile and we can get talking ASAP. Not that I don't think you could find it, but just in case hahah
      
      EDIT 3: look I don't understand why you're not even talking to me, is it something I said?
      
      EDIT 4: I knew you were always a bitch, but I thought I was wrong. I thought you weren't like all the other girls out there but maybe I was too quick to judge
      
      EDIT 5: don't ever contact me again whore
      
      EDIT 6: hey are you there?

      My Dick is Hydrophobic

        As a man of culture, I regularly take part in the natural act of masturbation. For you non-scholars, I am saying that I regularly spank the shit out of my meat to anime babes and / or cat girls. In accordance with the Geneva Convention article 4A paragraph 6, I exclusively use oil based lubricants (such as Vaseline or WD-40). After years of applying this buttery concoction to my 3 inch destroyer, enough has permanently absorbed into the skin of my dick and balls to the point that water is actually repelled when applied. Yes, my dick can now act as a flotation device in case of emergency water landings. Take that libtards.

        The simp sword

          ║\
          
          ║▒\
          
          ║▒▒\
          
          ║░▒║
          
          ║░▒║
          
          ║░▒║with this blade
          
          ║░▒║I cut those who
          
          ║░▒║disrespect
          
          ║░▒║Pokimane
          
          ║░▒║
          
          ║░▒║
          
          ▓▓▓▓
          
          [█▓]
          
          [█▓]
          
          [█▓]
          
          [█▓]

          I want to fuck another animated character from a video game🤐

            Holy fucking🤬shit. I want to bang💥the princess from the legend of Zelda so goddamn🤬 bad. I can't😓stand it anymore. Every time I play the BotW I get a 🥰massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking🤬sex with🤭her. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers😡and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Zelda’s tight ass🥵. I want her to have my mutant goddess babies😣.
            
            Fuck,🤬my fucking mom caught me with my dick in a picture of Zelda’s😳ass. I cut a hole in my pillow and went to downtown😎plow town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours😬 and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Switch😔. I might not ever get to see Zelda again😣.

            Isabelle from animal crossing is so fucking hot

              If I was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Ladin, and Isabelle from animal crossing, and I had a gun with two bullets. I would shoot Hitler and Bin Ladin just to get some alone time with Isabelle. Holy shit I want to put my rock hard cock in Isabelles tight dog pussy and eject a gallon of sperm into her soft fur. Isabelle is so fucking sexy I jerk off to rule 34 art of Isabelle every night. I run through more Isabelle hentai than can be created. My entire fortune is going toward funding the genetic engineering of a real life Isabelle just so I can fuck her tight dog pussy