Archer Queen is overrated (big momma big feet, feet icky)
Archers are nice, but they're just as overrated as the Queen (again, feet icky)
Bandit would steal my virginity then dash away. Not ideal
Battle Healer is brown 🤮
Witch hit the wall the moment she had those skeletons
Night Witch would give me the Kung Flu with all those bats she has flying around
Pekka is a robot. I can't fuck a robot
Rascal girls are children. I'm not Lib Right
and lastly, Valkyrie would've been the most ideal candidate if she didn't have that gigantic futa schlong underneath her loincloth
In conclusion, Musketeer is the most ideal Clash Royale female of the bunch. Her voluptuous ass, her bountiful bosoms, her large boomstick that makes her a viable card to start the game with, as well as her infinite value in high skill play, all combined with her good stats both in-game and in bed makes her the best Clash Royale waifu to exist. An astute sharpshooter, an independent woman who also works best with a team, and is also likely Catholic, she is the ideal female partner to have in Clash Royale. Besides an infinite army of Aryan soldiers to be spawned once I pound her elixirussy, and a loving wife whose trigger fingers are as fast as mine when I rub her clitoris, other such exhibitions of favor towards her as an ideal mate can be explained, but aren't limited to me having a taste of her elixir breast milk from her teats of goodness, or having me cum bucketloads into her helmet that she wears into battle, and being in awe of the image of my sharpshooting wife oozing with my haploid genetic code dripping into her face would be such a sight for me to behold.
She also comes in threes.
Please God, I want to impregnate Kuki Shinobu so bad. I want her to bear my children with those beautiful child-bearing hips. That beautiful, radiant ninja. Like a goddess, having come down to Earth to cleanse us of our sins.
Kuki Shinobu is beyond divine. I can’t help but drop to my knees in worship whenever I see her beautiful figure. I yearn for her in a way both primal and spiritual. I would commit more war crimes than every president in United States history just to lick the sweet, glistening sweat from her smooth, creamy skin. I want to listen to her moans as my manhood throbs within her, I want to hear her heart race as our bodies become one and our souls irreversibly intertwine in the holy sin of carnal union.
I want to suckle at her motherly bosom, slurping that rich coconut milk from her teat as she gently strokes my raging erection. I would stir her velvety Inazuman cream into my coffee and let my balls boil in it. Her cries of pleasure and the rocking of our bed would be louder than the cacophony of ten thousand drone strikes. I would make love to her until my body gave out, and then some. I would let her break my rib cage with any part of her body. I would let her hit me with her car just to be near her for a brief moment.
She’s so perfect it hurts. Every moment without her I suffer a pain worse than breaking every bone in my body simultaneously while drowning and also having shards of glass coated in hot sauce forced through every orifice of my body. I want her, I need her. I want to desecrate her pure, white pantsuit. I want to start a family with her and retire after our twenty seven children have grown up and moved out. I want to see those luscious lips speak such filthy, perverse words into my ear while she slides ice cubes down my gaping pisshole.
I want to fuck her like she owes me money. I would let her step on me, just to feel the soft, firm warmth of her feet upon my face and groin area. I would sleep under her just to catch her drool in my mouth. I would fish the strands of hair from her shower drain just to smell her alluring scent, and braid them into necklaces to keep her with me always. Or cock rings. Whichever would please her more.
God please, I would do anything for her. I would relinquish my life, all my hopes and dreams, just to become the socks on her feet so that I may warm her mouthwatering toes with my very being, so that she may feel the heat of my love always. I would encase myself in cement and become her doorstep, so that she may wipe her heels upon my face. I would tear my own limbs off. I don’t know what I’d do after that, or why she might want my limbs. But I would do it.
My queen, my goddess, the light of my life. Please God, let me have her. I want her to be mine and only mine. I would lick the Dango milk syrup from her fingers and fill her belly button with honey mustard to dip my tendies in. I would give her a sponge-bath with my tongue every morning and serve her breakfast in bed. I would let her eat her eggs and pancakes off my body if it pleased her, no matter how painful the third-degree burns would be.
I would bear the torment of eternal damnation until the end of time to taste the seat of her car but once. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her, nothing I wouldn’t say. I would beat my own mother to death with my engorged penis if it would bring a smile to Shinobu's shining face. I wouldn’t even let myself cum until she gave me permission.
I love you, Kuki Shinobu. Please. Be mine. Be my wife, my lover, my everything. Say yes. I see it in your eyes, when you’re up there on that debate stage talking about the Arataki Gang's juvenile crimes or whatever. Get to C6, respond to my 10x pulls. Something. Give me a sign, Shinobu. I’m waiting for you.
I’ll always be waiting for you.
Hey, are you there? Haha.. I know this may sound cheesy, but.. I just really love you. I love everything about you. Whenever I see you online.. I can't help but smile. Seeing you is enough to make me flustered. Seriously, how could such an angelic person such as you be my friend? I really don't deserve you. You're so perfect.. my discord kitten. I'm in love with you. You're the light of my life. Without you, I would've never been this happy. Can we talk more? I enjoy your company. Can we call more? I like listening to your voice. Can we just be with each other for a little longer? I love you so much. I'm sorry if I don't reply, discord daddy needs to do his discord mod work. But don't worry, kitten. I will reply to you ASAP. Haha.. let me get to the point. Can we be... more than friends? Can you be... more than.. just my discord kitten? I want you to be my girlfriend. If not, that's fine.. not like it matters.. haha. I respect whatever you say. But I just really want you to be my girlfriend. I can be your boyfriend.. we can get online married in the future. I'll spoil you with money from my paycheck. I'm deeply in love with you.. FUCK. I love you so much. I can't bear to part from you. I just want to hug you forever. I love your smile, your voice, your personality, your laughter, your everything. I understand if you don't want to be my girlfriend.. after all.. you are more than what I am. I'm just saying.. I can give you yearly discord nitro if you want to be my girlfriend. Honestly, at this point... what I feel is more than love. I can't explain it.. but it is deeper than the word "love." Let's just talk for a little longer. When you go offline.. I immediately miss you. I don't want to be with anyone else but you. I want us to have matching My Dress-Up Darling icons. I want to be closer to you. My darling, my kitten, the love of my life.. please be my girlfriend. I will do anything for you to be my girlfriend.. I can be your boyfriend. Fuck, I love you so much....
Imaginem o cheiro que os pés da Ashley ficaram no final da missão... 15 horas (sem contar o tempo antes de pegarem ela) com essas botas de couro longas e apertadas passando o maior sufoco e suando como um copo com água gelada. Imaginem o odor... Ela correndo pra lá e pra cá, pulando e correndo, formando calos nos pés, imaginem a humidade entre os dedos dela... Ela ofegante pq os pés doem e estão ensopados sem ter a chance de tirá-las para deixas as meias arejar um pouco. Imaginem quando ela chegar nos EUA e for trocar de roupa no vestiário com o Leon do lado de fora, ela tira as botas e finalmente emana aquele odor que estava preso, o intragável e sedutor odor, um odor que o Leon sente e ativa em sua mente pensamentos primitivos de seus antepassados, a Ashley envergonhada com isso mas sabendo que aquilo é um chamado, e o Leon atende esse chamado. Depois de terminado o "serviço" feito no vestiário, Leon e Ahsley vão se encontrar com o presidente para terminar a missão. Passa-se 9 meses e um novo Kennedy nasce. Passa-se 18 anos e temos um novo personagem. Resident Evil 9 confirmado 😭😭😍😍
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Imagine what Ashley's feet smelled like at the end of the mission... 15 hours (not counting the time before they picked her up) in those long, tight leather boots, sweating like a glass of ice water. Imagine the odor... She's running back and forth, jumping and running, forming calluses on her feet, imagine the dampness between her toes... She's panting because her feet hurt and they're soaking wet without having a chance to get them off to let the socks air out a bit. Imagine when she arrives in the US and goes to change clothes in the locker room with Leon outside, she takes off her boots and finally emanates that odor that was trapped, the unpalatable and seductive odor, an odor that Leon feels and activates in her mind primitive thoughts of his ancestors, Ashley embarrassed by this but knowing that this is a call, and Leon answers that call. After finishing the "service" done in the locker room, Leon and Ahsley will meet with the president to finish the mission. Nine months pass and a new Kennedy is born. 18 years pass and we have a new character. Resident Evil 9 confirmed 😭😭😍😍
Se eu fosse o Leon, deixaria a Ashley infectada só pra ter a chance de experimentar aquela bucetinha cheia de Las Plagas
Pqp eu fico louco só de pensar na possibilidade de comer o cuzinho rosado daquela loirinha caucasiana fofa (que me deixa com mommy issues) enquanto sai um tentáculo grotesco de meio metro do empadão dela acariciando meus testículos ou minha próstata. Quando eu engravidasse aquela porra de parasita afogando com sêmen seja lá qual cavidade esse troço tenha e criando um exército de vermes ambulantes imortais, tenho certeza de que Wesker e meio mundo iriam querer sequestrar eu e meu depósito de porra mutante (Ashley) visando nos usar para manufatura em massa de armas biológicas. E bem, eu aceitaria de bom grado destruir o mundo em troca de atravessar de pica aquele corpo jovial de meia calça lascivo todos os dias pelo resto de minha vida enquanto uso uma lanterna pra fazer ela ter um squirt imediato se tremendo toda enquanto cavalga na minha bengala, como se estivesse tendo um espasmo muscular pós morte enquanto eu grito RECEBA LAS PREGAS SIUUUUUUUUU E acredite, seja squirt, leite materno daqueles seios fartos, suor ou qualquer líquido que saísse daquele corpo, eu teria o maior prazer em lamber que nem um Pitbull sedento SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP
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If I were Leon, I'd get Ashley infected just for the chance to try that pussy full of Las Plagas
Because I go crazy just thinking about the possibility of eating the pink ass of that cute Caucasian blonde (which leaves me with mommy issues) while a half-meter grotesque tentacle comes out of her pie caressing my testicles or my prostate. When I impregnated that fucking parasite by drowning it in semen whatever cavity that thing has and creating an army of immortal walking worms, I'm sure Wesker and half the world would want to kidnap me and my warehouse of mutated shit (Ashley) in order to use us. for mass manufacturing of biological weapons. And well, I'd gladly agree to destroy the world in exchange for dicking across that jovial body in lewd tights every day for the rest of my life while I use a flashlight to make her have an immediate squirt and shiver all over as she rides on mine. cane, like I'm having a postmortem muscle spasm while I scream RECEIVE THE PREGAS SIUUUUUUUU And believe me, whether it's squirt, breast milk from those full breasts, sweat or any liquid that comes out of that body, I'd be delighted to lick it like a Pitbull thirsty SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP SCHLOP
You see what makes Kisaki so great is how she's the perfect balance between innocent and seducing.
First we have the chinese dress which is bound tightly to her body showing her body contours and as we go down the dress exposes a small part of her waist-hip-leg and V-line which incites certain hormones kicking the male reproduction instinct.
Second point are the gloves she's small cute and funny but the gloves gives her a very mature look it makes it look like she's always ready to grab your balls and fondle with them and that increases how hot she looks.
Thirdly we have the long coat which makes her look cute because it shows she's wearing it to be treated like an adult BUT BUT BUT she doesn't just wear it she wears it half down WHICH MAKES IT LOOK LIKE SHE IS DOWN TO GET RAILED ANYTIME ANY MOMENT THE CUTENESS HAS TURNED INTO AN ALLURING CHARM.
Fourth point we have her heels. Another part of Kisaki trying to look like an adult and it definitely works. The heels shows how uptight and dominant she may be and the things those cute feet in her heels can do makes the imagination of any man tremble.
Next we HAVE HER ARMPITS. Well this depends on the angle the artist draws but TO NOT SHOW KISAKI's ARMPITS IS A SIN. Her cute beautiful sexy armpit pose can break the most hardcore stoic men in the world. You could come back from a gruesome war and the moment your eyes witness the ephemeral beauty of Kisaki's armpits all your worries and struggles will cease to exist.
There are a few minor points as well such as her hair buns and the color of her eyes. The buns increase the impact of the chinese dress making her look dignified and at the same time playful. Her eye color fits perfectly with her hair and the dress and the piercing look she gives can send shivers to the male genitals. I shall now end my long ass paragraph of why Kisaki is perfect. The Chinese Cunny: The Chunny Kisaki has broken my mind, soul, and heart. She has full control of me
Personally I wish they would never go back to Innistrad again. If they hadn't gone back this time, I never would have read the Blessing of Blood story and I never would have read the other Thalia stories, and I never would have started having feelings for her, and end up avoiding Magic entirely to try to stop thinking about her. She's so beautiful, her sky-blue eyes and silken hair, I imagine her voice is like an angel's. Sometimes my chest aches thinking how badly I would like to be in her presence for just a few minutes. It only happens a few times in life, to come across someone who makes you wish you were better, more than you are. I would do anything for her. I so badly just want to hold her. I feel like after all these years of defending Thraben and all the friends she has lost or had corrupted, she needs someone to lean on. I wish I could be that for her. Not as some sneaky way of exploiting her, I just want to help her. I wish she loved me back but I know that will never happen. I can't even play magic anymore because I feel so worthless playing it, and when I drive home alone I feel so empty. Even my walks in the forest, I keep imagining she is with me, in a soft white cotton dress, sometimes I imagine her smiling at me. It is autumn which I think would be her favorite season. And so I don't go on those walks quite as much anymore.
I don't think I'll be able to cope with the next Innistrad set. They're going to show her being married and having children, it'll be another time skip and she'll be married and have two children on a little farm. God I wish so desperately that was me there with her. i won't be able to even look at anything related to MTG because I'll be scared to see it. of course I'll be happy for her, but I am pathetic and petty and jealous and I will want it to be me there with her. I read a story where a man was dumped on his wedding day for another man and was beaten senseless by the priest for pretending to love his wife-to-be yet being angry she found someone else who made her happy. That's true. I am such a disgusting creature I cannot even love someone properly, because deep down the fact that I can't be with her makes me so sad, I feel a cavernous emptiness and yet also a leaden pit in my chest, sometimes I feels like physical pain. I wish i could be good enough for her but I never, ever, ever will. There is no one else in this world I want to be with besides her. I keep trying to forget her but I can't.
At least it wasn't Thalia. I'm still scared what will happen to her in the next set. She's so brave and beautiful, she deserves to live. I think if she dies I will actually cry. I wish I could protect her. At least I could give her time to escape while the Phyrexians were ripping me to shreds. That'd be horrible but I would do it for her. I would do anything for her. Usually when I wake up I think of her within a few moments. Then I get into the bathroom to shower and see my face in the mirror and how ugly I am and how Thalia could never want someone like me. It's so stupid that someone like me is in love with someone so beautiful, I am so shallow with no ground to be so. But I can't help it, I can't stop thinking about her. I sing her name to myself absentmindedly sometimes. Then I remember how I can never be good enough for her, no matter how much stronger I get, no matter how much money I make, I can never be the right one for her. I was hoping they'd never go back to Innistrad again, because I didn't want to see Thalia being married to someone else, even though i could never be with her anyway. But I would rather see that than see her being hurt or killed or turned into some Phyrexian abomination. I would literally be a servant in her mansion with her husband, every day having to see them together, in love, knowing my feelings will never be returned, seeing her happy with her husband and each sight like a knife in my heart even though I should be happy for them. I would see that every day of my life if it meant she was safe and alive. Sometimes my longing for her hurts in my chest, and I pinch my own arm or just squeeze to make it go away. I wish it would go away forever. I wish I could stop thinking about her. I've tried so many things but nothing works. I've tried to think hateful thoughts about her, to make myself stop wanting her, but I just end up feeling like I want to cry, because I don't hate Thalia, I love her, I could never be angry or bitter toward her. I just hope she survives. I would do anything for her. I wish I could be there for her when she needed me. I wish I could be by her side, defending her against the Phyrexians until she was safe. Sometimes I imagine her and I at a harvest festival, in a tent dancing together, her cathar uniform replaced by a long willowy dress, twine bracelets dangling from her slender wrists, the orange light from the paper lanterns tinting her pale face and hair, seeing her smile and laugh as we spin about. Or else sitting up on the hill overlooking the festival, the distant shouts and screams and laughter barely filtering up to us, easily covered by a twilight breeze that rustles the grass, her leaning her head on my shoulder as we watch the pink sky fade into purple. Sometimes I look at the Innistrad land art and imagine Thalia and I walking through those places, a wagon following us as we bring our supplies out to the wilds of Kessig to build a new farmstead for us both to share so she can finally escape from Thraben. Or just travel there in general. It's such a stupid thing to dream about, because none of it will ever happen, but I can't help it. I hate myself for thinking such jealous thoughts, when all that matters is that she survives. If she dies in this set I feel like something will break inside me. I just want her to be okay.
