As a freshman boy at Florida State University, I am saddened at the lack of goth girls who attend here. The majority of girls here are Blonde Taylor Swift Starbucks girls who seem to lack personality and originality. The underrepresentation of the goth girl subculture at FSU is likely tied to a few aspects, how it is notorious for its partying, (not typically a goth girl interest) the constant vibrant and sunny atmosphere, (ditto), and the overall lack of diverse appeal. I know that my fellow FSU male brethren are also disappointed at the lack of goth mommies here, they likely just conceal their pain better than I am capable of. Every single day I wake up and do my morning prayer hoping to spot an emo goth girl somewhere around campus, but alas, to no avail. Perhaps I am merely looking in the wrong places. If anyone knows where to find them please message me ASAP. Or if you are a goth girl reading this, don’t be afraid to shoot me a DM. I believe without finding a goth girl my mental health will continue to plummet and I’m afraid to know what I’m capable of if that happens. I may have to look into transferring if this issue does not get resolved. Any tips are much appreciated, thanks!
Origin
Started from the Florida State University subreddit by u/MedicalInspector6374 and has since spread to other college/university subreddits since then. The copypasta will usually start out with “As a freshman…” and then describes the lack of goth girls at the person’s university. It also describes most of the women studying there as “Blonde Taylor Swift Starbucks girl” and reveal that most of his “male brethren are also disappointed at the lack of goth mommies”.
This copypasta is part of the many university/college related copypasta that started circulating in 2023.
I would cry. Cry myself to sleep knowing I’m never good enough, no matter how hard I try no matter what I do she will never love me back. After everything I’ve tried she won’t love me, because I’m not good enough. I’m not strong I’m not smart I’m not good looking. There’s other guys better then me in every way possible, I will still try but deep down inside I know I don’t have a shot, even if I stay by her side and treat her better then I treat myself she will never love me back. She will complain about guys and say there is no one meant for her. I’ll still be sitting there waiting for my turn, then one day she will start talking to me differently. Is she liking me? I will be thinking. I will revert back to my old ways. Thinking that she loves me and developing hope again. She will start talking to me daily, I try to mask my true feelings but I can’t. Look me dead in the eye you see a hopeful kid, after a while I will confess to her. Saying I love her and want to be by her side, she knows how desperate I am from past conversations, how anyone works even if they don’t give two shits about me. I look her in the eyes on the verge of crying, is this a bad idea? Will she ever love me? I think to myself, then she runs over and hugs me. She pulls me in her arms and holds me tight, I get flustered because this is the first time anyone has held me like this. I’ll wrap my arms around her and start to tear up, she holds me while saying how much she loves me, she brushes my hair and says, I love you. Such simple words leave such an impact on me, I’ve never felt this love before, my mother has never held me while saying she loves me. I still love my mother don’t get me wrong but this is special, out of everyone, athletic smart strong. She picked me, maybe I am good enough? I think to myself. I look up to her, tears running down my face as I lock eyes with her, her beautiful brown eyes. I lock with them as I cry a little harder, she holds me and laughs slightly. She looks down at me and says, you are all messy, let’s get you fixed up. She takes me hand and we go to her house, she smiles and looks at me. Hop in the shower, I’ll make us some food. I hop in the shower and stand there as water runs down my face, is this a dream? I think to myself as I stand there, I hear knocking on the door which snaps me back into reality. I glance over and hear her voice, hey is everything alright? I sit there for a minute on the verge of breaking down. Y-Ya I’m fine. stutter out. Ok well hurry up dinners getting cold, I jump out of the shower and get changed walk out and take a seat at the table, I look up and see her, her amazing black hair with blond tips, her beautiful eyes and face. I blush a little bit as I start eating, we eat and talk and having a great time. After she takes my hand and smiles. Wear this, she takes out blindfold and puts it on me, she leads me somewhere, I feel a blanket over me then something warm pressed against my body. She takes off the blindfold and look up to see her, we are in her bed, she is holding me in her arms as I rest on her chest. She moves down and kisses me as she whispers. Your good enough, I feel a chill shoot through my body, a tear runs down my face as she says, I love you, everything about you is amazing, I’ve known you liked me for a while but only know I’ve realized how good you are. I love you and always will, I want to hold you when you are sad. Laugh with you when your happy, I want you to be mine forever. She turns off the light and rest her head on mine. I stay there in her arms as I fall asleep. A loud alarm goes off. I jump out of bed and rub my eyes. I look around nothing I’m in my bedroom. I sigh as I look at the ground in defeat, I mutter to myself as I get out of bed and prepare for school. I need to stop dreaming.
You will never be a real incel. You have no autism, you have no negative canthal tilt, you have no deep seated emotional resentment. You are a well-adjusted man twisted by irony and memes into a crude mockery of a stone cold virgin.
All the “rejection” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back girls love you. Your parents are proud and happy for you, "Stacies” swoon over your masculine appearance behind closed doors.
Women are utterly smitten with you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed women to sniff out chads with incredible efficiency. Even incels who “pass” look strong and charismatic to a woman. Your deep voice and good sense of humor are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to earn a little online incel clout, you'll get cancelled the second your DMs get leaked and everybody gets a glimpse of the e-girls thirsting over you.
You will never be depressed. You wrench out a fake "tfw no gf" every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be miserable, but deep inside you feel the happiness creeping up like a weed, ready to bless you with unshakeable confidence.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll find a girlfriend, marry her, knock her up, and have seven healthy kids together. Your parents will praise you, happy but a little bit sentimental now that their little boy has finally grown up. They’ll spoil the kids with candies and toys, and every acquaintance for the rest of your life will know that you're a fakecel. Eventually you will pass on surrounded by your loved ones. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a family that misses you dearly.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
You will never be a real incel. You have a jawline, you decent height, you have no male pattern baldness. You are a handsome man twisted by the blackpill and memes into self-doubt and inferiority complexes.
All the “rejection” you get is only inside your head. Behind your back people like you. Your parents are proud of you, your colleagues whisper how cute you are behind closed doors.
Women are innately attracted by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed women to sniff out good genetics with incredible efficiency. Even women who “rejected” you would've changed their mind if you actually tried. Your facial structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you aren't exactly the type of some women, she'll introduce you to her girlfriends the moment she acknowledges your objectively good features.
You will never be truly alone. You wrench out a fake frown every single morning and tell yourself you're destined to be alone, but deep inside you feel hope blossoming like a hot spring, ready to lift you up any moment from now.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll install Tinder, put yourself out there, find a girlfriend, and passionate sex with her. Your parents will hear about that, relieved that you finally found the happiness they knew you deserve. They’ll praise you with warmth and proudness, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know you have gotten consensual sex from a girl. Your mind will be freed from all the doubt, and all that will remain is a man that is unmistakably successful.
This is your fate. This is what you were born into. There is no turning back.
Is this a mickey mouse ring? I mean we never actually got to see the true destined matchup to cap off an almost perfect MLB season, due to a fluke in the NLCS. By all rights the Phillies should have represented the National League in the World Series. With a fraudulent team in their place, is the integrity of competition compromised? A team like the Phillies is a team of destiny, a team that belongs on baseball’s biggest stage in the fall classic. Every baseball fan that watched the NLCS knows games 6 and 7 were illegitimate, and many have called for the MLB to investigate for possible scandals. Unfortunately the stolen NLCS sort of invalidates the achievement of the Rangers. It’s a shame that history will always attach an asterisk alongside the 2023 Texas Rangers, as no such cupcake matchup is worthy of the honor of calling oneself champion. The only real solution here is to have a final 7 game series between the Rangers and Phillies, and if the Rangers win that, they can call themselves true champions. But not before.
The copypasta originated from University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign subreddit in 2021 and was about Computer Science majors. It has spanned many different variations since then especially after the popularity of other different university related copypasta/shitposts related to Engineering majors.
Engineering
The females on this campus are out of control. The first time I ate lunch wearing my Iowa State Engineering shirt I had literally 3 different women try to sit down and court me, like I would know how to talk to a girl. I quickly demonstrated superior knowledge of each of their niche interests, which apparently eliminates me from the dating pool (why shame me for being smart?).
Anyway, that got them to leave but the problem has persisted in the past 2 months and I am so fed up with everybody wanting to get with me. I've taken to moving all the other chairs at tables I sit at to other tables, but yesterday a small asian woman literally pulled up a chair and began ranting about the last weekly CS 344 programming "project". Girl, I don't struggle with projects that are just homework. I'm an ENG major, not CS. After making it markedly clear that I did NOT in fact want to copulate against the glass walls of the SIC, she finally left me alone, but I wish these girls would stop worshipping me just because I am enrolled in the hardest program on campus (which was not difficult for me to get into, by the way).
The worst are when students from non-technical majors talk to me. We'll be having a nice, platonic conversation, when they inevitably ask the fateful question: "What's your major?" As soon as I say my magnificent degree, I see their whole demeanor change. The doe eyes, the flushed cheeks, the jiggling cleavage. What makes a business major think they have a chance with me. Engineering and something practically Liberal Arts are on whole different planes of existence. I'm not about to impregnate somebody that does drop shipping for "work."
You may think I'm just remarkably handsome, which I am, but my attractive acquaintances in “Engineering” Technology (they're not smart enough to be friends, but their childlike innocence is sometimes enviable), have literally no problems with this incessant harassment and courting from female creatures with their ‘Girl Themed Parties’. Females see me as an object and a genius, when really I'm so much more: I'm top 100 in War Thunder. My engineering shirt shouldn't reduce me to a bag of meat; if you want my heart, you have to grind with me, raid with me, join my clan, and most of all, watch Star Wars with me, and understand it -- no fake fans that shout "Luke - I am your father!" like its some kind of joke, when it's really the climax of the most tragic moment in Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back. Not that I cried.
If you want somebody for cheap sex, the business majors are right there (I don't blame you for avoiding non-war profiting business types though). Stop fetishizing my kind for something out of our control. I didn't want to be born a super genius. Hell, sometimes I wish I was a business major, moving through the world in ignorant bliss. But I have a responsibility now to save the world and create the next nuclear powered, hypersonic airplane spaceship (a continuance of Project METEOR obviously). Seductively touching my umbrella isn't going to make me want to get with you. Come back in a Mandalorian costume, solve the three body problem, or solve a problem without assuming incompressible, subsonic, laminar, steady, constant everything, and then we'll talk.
The females on this campus are out of control. The first time I ate lunch wearing my Grainger CS shirt (with fully covered legs, mind you), I had literally 3 different women try to sit down and court me, like I would know how to talk to a girl. I quickly demonstrated superior knowledge of each of their niche interests, which apparently eliminates me from the dating pool (why shame me for being smart?).
Anyway, that got them to leave but the problem has persisted in the past 3 months and I am so fed up with everybody wanting to get with me. I've taken to moving all the other chairs at tables I sit at to other tables, but yesterday a small asian woman literally pulled up a chair and began ranting about the last MP. Girl, I don't struggle with MPs. I'm a CS major, not CS+X. After making it markedly clear that I did NOT in fact want to copulate in the ISR bathroom, she finally left me alone, but I wish these girls would stop worshipping me just because I am enrolled in the hardest program on campus (which was not difficult for me to get into, by the way).
The worst are when students from non-technical majors talk to me. We'll be having a nice, platonic conversation, when they inevitably ask the fateful question: "What's your major?" As soon as I say those two magnificent letters, I see their whole demeanor change. The doe eyes, the flushed cheeks, the jiggling cleavage. What makes an art major think they have a chance with me. FAA and Grainger are on whole different planes of existence. I'm not about to impregnate somebody that paints happy little trees for "work."
You may think I'm just remarkably handsome, which I am, but my attractive acquaintances in ECE (they're not smart enough to be friends, but their childlike innocence is sometimes enviable), have literally no problems with this incessant harassment and courting from female creatures. Females see me as an object and a genius, when really I'm so much more: I'm top 100 in the world in Destiny 2. My gray shirt shouldn't reduce me to a bag of meat; if you want my heart, you have to grind with me, raid with me, join my clan, and most of all, watch Rick and Morty with me, and understand it -- no fake fans that shout "pickle rick" like its some kind of joke, when it's really the climax of the most tragic episode of season 3. Not that I cried.
If you want somebody for cheap sex, the ECE majors are right there (I don't blame you for avoiding CS + X though). Stop fetishizing my kind for something out of our control. I didn't want to be born a super genius. Hell, sometimes I wish I was an ECE major, moving through the world in ignorant bliss. But I have a responsibility now to save the world and create the next Facebook. Seductively touching Grainger Bob isn't going to make me want to get with you. Come back in a Morty costume, code a Y combinator, or implement Djikstra's recursively, and then we'll talk.
Every day I walk into X, and I'm swarmed by women asking for my snap or asking me on dates. It's gotten to the point where I'm consistently late to class, and it's starting to affect my grades. I don't know if it's because word got that out that I watch Naruto, or maybe that I'm a Computer Math and Statistic stream student, but all the attention is getting tiring. I've considered wearing a disguise, or walking outside in the cold, but both of these options come with their own set of problems.
What would you guys suggest to help me out??
Original version
The original pasta was written by u/Shimreef for University of Saskatchewan subreddit and became an instant meme. It was meant as satire but its outrageous nature caught on and got reposted to different other subreddits.
Basically as the title suggests. Every day I walk into Place Riel and through the arts tunnel, and every day I’m swarmed by women asking for my snap or asking me on dates. It’s gotten to the point where I’m consistently late to class, and it’s starting to affect my grades. I don’t know if it’s because word got that out that I watch anime, or maybe that I’m a music major, but all the attention is getting tiring. I’ve considered wearing a disguise, or walking outside in the cold, but both of these options come with their own set of problems.
What would you guys suggest to help me out??
