Lord Maximus 22 | 5'10" | Pisces | Has cats [76% match]
Lord Maximus at your service m’lady, level 82 DM, feminist, gentleman, sandwich lover, burrito lover, woman lover.
*ahem* Listen Carefully, M'lady, it seems you have stolen something from me,and i am very upset, i will have no choice but to contact the town sheriff to place in the stocks,for thieving, if you do not return my heart to me posthaste, this kind of behaviour will not be tollerated, however, i am willing to overlook this transgression, if tou agree to a date with me, otherwise chareges will be pressed for the stealing of my heart, i await your letter of acceptance *kisses hand and blows* yours truly,lord Maximus
"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, '10101000101', on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright. Thank you." Reporter 1: "But what actually is 2+2?" Trump: "Siddown. No, siddown. I've already answered your question. Haven't I already answered your question. This is what we get from news reporters, folks. Give me a nice question. Yes - you." Reporter 2: "Is your name Donald Trump?" Trump: "Now that's a nice question, folks. That's what I want."
I'm very sorry, but I have to block you. You probably don't care why I'm blocking you, but just in case you're interested, I'll explain. What you sent me doesn't actually have any emotional impact on me. However, it shows me what type of person you are. It indicates that you're the type of person who deliberately tries to provoke negative reactions from other people. I don't wish to interact with the type of person who dos that, so I have to block you. It has nothing to do with "hurt feelings" or "not being able to take a joke". It has to do with the content of your character.
ELON 👉📨 MUSK 😏 NEEDS 😙 YOUR 👉 HELP 🆘!
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People 👫 are expressing 💁🏿♂️ dissatisfaction with SpaceX and Tesla ⚡ CEO 👁 Elon 🤓 R ❤. Musk 👨!
THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! Grab ✊🏻 your 👉 big ⬆💋 chungus 🐰, Keanu 🧔🏻 Reeves 👍, Baby 👶 Yoda 👽, Pewdiepie 👱, Fortnite 💩, Minecraft 🔲, juul 💭 pods 🥠, vbucks 💰🤑💵, trebuchets, Naruto 🔌 run 🏃♂️, and ORA 👨 ORA 👨 MUDA 🟨🤜🤛 MUDA 🟨🤜🤛, it's time ⏰ for a crusade! It's time ⏰ to make 🛠 Anthony 😈👱♀️ Fauci and any other medical 💊 professional 🍟 in the United 🇹🇿 States 🇺🇸 of America 🇺🇸 know 🤔 what it feels 🤚 like 👍 to mess 🕸 with SPEECH 📢 100 🔥💯🤣, TALENT 💫😍👑 100 💯, SEX 🥵👨 100 💯, GAMER 🎮 100 💯, and REDDIT 🏿👩🏿💯 100 💯!
Remember 🐘, last ♿ year 🗓 we singlehandedly liberated Hong 🇭🇰 Kong 🦍 from the evil 😈 Area ⚠💀 51 👇 aliens 👽 who were trying 💯 to take 👊 away 🥰😘😊 our epic 😎 victory 💁♀️🚁 royale 🎉. This was a WHOLESOME 🐯 100 🔥💯🤣 MOMENT 😳 that has permanently 🐐 solved ✔🔥 all 😂 problems ⚠ and social ❤ issues 😡 in the Special 😲 Administrative 💩 Reigon of Hong 🇭🇰 Kong!!!!1
REDDIT 🤖, ASSEMBLE 🤣!
Let's cut to the chase. I'll pay you $50 to step on my balls. You heard me. 50 buckaroos to step on my testicles. The amount of time it would take to step on my balls and then resume to your regular schedule is about 1 second if you are skilled at the job. If you do the math that is a profit equivalent to $3600 an hour. I may or may not offer some wiggle room in the amount that you will be compensated but i can asure you my offer is as generous as they come. Think about what you could do with $50. Alot of people would take that $50 and use it to buy some sort of goods but instead i like to invest that $50 in intangible service, which would be paying someone to step on my balls, hence this conversation. This is a limited time offer and if you don't want to be of service then i will go recruit another ball-stepper. Get back to me ASAP, these balls won't step on themselves.
“Thank you so incredibly much for that lovely poetic compliment you bestowed on me you god-like alpha male. Please let me offer my gratitude by parting my legs for your pleasure to do whatever action crosses your mind. Then afterwards we will bond together in holy matrimony but it will be polygamous but only on your part. You may have sexual encounters with any other female you lay eyes on but I shall never even interact with other men, and even a casual verbal conversation counts as adultery for me. However if you find a dashing female for me to mate with and you watch and or join in no matter what my sexual orientation is, then I will submit to that bidding for you my lovely future husband. I love you more than anything in the world, and my only personality trait from now on will be that I’m yours and yours only because you are a genuine god amongst men.”
