Skip to content

Reddit

Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


I (20M) agreed to let my girlfriend (21F) poop on me to satisfy one of her fetishes, but she didn’t tell me she was going to have diarrhea.

    I agreed to let my girlfriend poop on me
    My girlfriend opened up to me a while back about a kink of hers, which, as you can see, involves shitting on people. Obviously I was very taken aback by this, and eventually the conversation led to her basically asking me if I would be willing to do it. At first I said “absolutely not.” But then after more talking, I decided that, despite the fact that the idea of doing this made me feel like my skin was going to turn inside out, I was willing to provide the woman I love with this experience just one time, since according to her nobody else had ever agreed to it. Of course, she was very excited, so we picked a day to do it and that was that.

Fast forward to last night. I’m laying in the bathtub, holding my breath, and she squats right above my body. I expected to feel some warm logs of human feces plop firmly onto my chest. Instead I got my entire body sprayed down by hot diarrhea. I have never seen her orgasm that quickly or intensely. Her whole body immediately began shaking and she had to grip the walls of the shower to keep herself upright as she kept going. The spray got all over my face and in my hair too. It was the most horrifying thing that’s ever happened to me.

I started screaming and she asked me what was wrong. I told her that I didn’t say she could have fucking diarrhea on me. I started throwing up in the bathtub and immediately turned on the shower head. She said she didn’t know it would come out like that but later after some intense arguing she admitted that she knew and did it anyway because she didn’t think there was a difference. I told her that there’s a big fucking difference. She thinks I’m overreacting but I honestly don’t think so. We haven’t talked much since because things are extremely awkward.

I guess my question is, what should I do now? I still really care about her but this feels like a violation. Can we have a normal sex life again? Any help is appreciated

    AITA for invading Ukraine?

      Using my alt account because of personal reasons. So anyway, I[69M(literally)] am a high government official of a country with a strong military. Anyway, I am clinically diagnosed with Invasiontia[for anyone who doesn't know it's meaning, it basically means my mind forces me to invade countries, very few people are diagnosed with it(like Adolf Hitler), so i guess it makes me quirky uwu], so i really can't be the one to blame.

I do what i like, usually, but people often judge me for living my life on my own terms. My distant relative, who has a history of playing fortnite and being antivax, being a furry, pedophile, and being a baby yoda hater called me today and abused me verbally, and told me what i was doing was wrong. I was heartbroken by their words. Not only that, Emily[She/They 13 diagnosed with 255 mental illnesses] made a really mean tweet against me today. She compared me to Hitler (I know Hitler and I have the same mental illness, but it doesn't mean I am as much of an asshole like he is, right?).

All this negativity is severely affecting my mental health(i come from a country where mental health isn't given a lot of importance and also my country isn't very supportive of gay people), and i am now contemplating suicide by shooting myself in the head.

Everyone thinks i am an asshole, what do you think reddit? AITA?

      Crack down on the Russian troll

        Russia Ukraine war copypasta
        Reddit,

Crack down on the Russian troll accounts, or you are an active part of the attack on Ukraine.

This is now a time of war.

If you host and distribute Russian propaganda, you are a tool of the invasion, and a tool of fascism.

This is an unprovoked attack on a peaceful nation.

Hosting comments, posts, or forums that condone or dismiss that attack is giving a mouthpiece to the kremlin’s agenda.

        I enjoy farting on my children (3,5 yo girl, 6 yo boy). Is this normal?

          Your average fart copypasta
          I do this on a regular basis. Whether it is when they are eating or watching a film in the couch with me. I start off every morning, waking them up by farting loudly when entering their room, to which they respond by quickly escaping from my presence. They find it semi-enjoyable. Especially if only one of them are caught in the line of fire. My farts are by far the worst I've ever come across. I'd dare say I have the smelliest gas in the world. They reek of egg, burnt rubber and fireworks. They also linger. For I can let out a single fart in a room, exit and it will still be present when returning 20 minutes later. Hence, I at times surprise my kids by farting in the living room, a good 5 minutes before they enter, only for them to be quickly subdued walking into a seemingly fart-free room. Am I normal, /b/? Any other parents who do something similar? pic somewhat related

          We should buy reddit.

            We should buy Reddit.

Not the stock. The actual company.

If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website.

We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make.

I’ve even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners:

1.Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization.
2.Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of “CFO” you’ll be “PotatoFart”
3.NSFW posts will receive special protections–and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW.
4.Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet.
5.Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern.
6.We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod.
7.Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side–but they’re all Wendy’s.

I think this is a great idea.

Keep it high and tight.

👖🚀👖🚀👖🚀

            would I suck dick for a billion dollars?

              Source
              Lol the real game is "how little money would you suck a dick for."

Because really.

To be clear, I'm a straight, married guy. I make 100k a year, and support a family of 4 on that. I rent. Let's think.

Ten million? That's roughly what I'll make from here to retirement. With good investment edit: it's 100 years wages, and I only have 15 years to retirement. sorry, it's 3am and I'm at work. Still, I never need to work again.

A million? Fuck yes. Not even a moment's hesitation. That's ten years salary. My job is hard, physical, causes substantial wear and tear on my body, requires 12 hour rotating shift work. A million dollars would buy me a (depressingly modest) home, pay off all my debts, secure sufficient savings for my kids education. With debt paid and no major housing outlay, my standard of living would leap up from here till retirement, or I'd have plenty of room to downgrade to an easier job.

But those are silly numbers.

100k? Yup. We're still not hesitating. I go through a lot of misery to make my yearly 100k as it is, and here we're talking tax free.

10k? Still yes, but now we're getting into numbers I'm going to feel dirty about. Still, mouthwash is cheap.

1k? Ehhh. Probably not? Maybe, but you're wearing a condom for sure.

Ok, so 5k? Yeah. Sure. Wanna set up a monthly date? I'd blow someone once a month and quit my job.

Well.

So what we've discovered is that the only reason I'm not a sex worker is nobody is gonna pay me 5k to blow them. Which I'll say is probably their loss, I'm a dude, I know what feels good, and I have no gag reflex.