If Trump Wins
If Trump 👹 Wins The Election 😡📝🎟I Am Moving 🚚 Out Of The Country ✈️📦🏃🏼 Goodbye😰👋🏽🛫 America 🇺🇸💔 Hello 😍👋🏽 Hawaii 🌴🌊☀️🏄🏽.President
Copypasta related to the president of the United States or other world leaders.
Donald trump as the Lorax
I am the Lorax I speak for the trees
And I’m going to be honest with you, the trees been spreading lies. There’s this one tree, Tony, who’s a maple tree, who’s... now hold on, I DONT hate maple trees. I was just pointing out the fact that he was a maple tree, I only hate THIS one. Not ALL maple trees are bad. I love maple trees, in fact their my favorite tree. I have many friends who are maple trees. Anyway, this one maple tree, was telling me that he was sick of all the pollution, and that it was affecting him. And I said to him, I said, ‘well tony, you know what the problem is? It’s all these geese coming in from the south. Their taking our jobs, Tony.’ And Tony, he didn’t believe me. Tony told me that wasn’t the issue at all. Now let me tell you something folks, Tony is fake news. He gets his news from a peacock, and I tell him, ‘that peacock is corrupt and spreading lies. If you want real news you talk to a fox.’ I tell him. Anyway, the moral of the story is folks, is that these “geese” are migrating from the south. These geese, do you know what their doing to this country? I’ll tell you. Their running it into the ground. If you vote for me for ruler of the forest again, we will MAKE THE FOREST GREAT AGAIN. Thank you.AITA For Killing My Political Rival To Win The Election?
Using an alt account because of people trace this back to me my reelection chances might get hurt.
I (74M) am finishing up my first term as President of the United States of America. Let me tell you, America is an incredible country, probably one of the best countries in the whole nation. As my reelection comes closer and closer, my opponent Sleepy Joe has been leading in approval ratings, and I began to get worried. Let me tell you, I am the best at being worried. Just ask anybody in my administration, I get worried like no other president. Anyways, I was considering putting Sleepy Joe to sleep for good, which I think is a service not only to his family, but also the nation as a whole. I was going to ask my good pal Putin to borrow some of that poison he’s using to silence the libtards in his country. So Reddit, am I the asshole?
EDIT: I’m not Donald Trump.
EDIT 2: Stop saying I’m Donald Trump.
EDIT 3: Bitches I got the nuclear launch codes keep testing me and you can say bye bye to the Caribbean’s.
EDIT 4: Adios Bahamas.
REAL EDIT (Ignore if not the FBI): For legal reasons, this is all revolving a Minecraft server with my friends, not the current political events surrounding the United States. No public officials are being threatened here, just my friends virtual avatar. Don’t worry FBI, we’re all good.Trump has a massive cock.
Yeah not true. Trump has a massive cock. I know this because.... I mean just look at how he’s always leaning forward. My president is packing so much heat he almost loses his balance sometimes. He probably tucks it up his shirt and tapes his massive fucking cum-filled balls back up his anal cavity. He’s so thick. I bet he uses all that grease to slide his ticking-time-bomb balls in and out of him and giving himself several anal orgasms in the process. No wonder every woman in government complains about him. They want his massive fucking member and they know they can’t get it because he only gives it to melania. He probably uses cushions and such to hide the massive bulge as well but sometimes I swear I can see his chest wet from all the pre cum he probably pumps out from all that friction.I spanked a Muslim with bacon
Well, I was shopping in Walmart the other day, (with the intent of buying all of their guns, bacon and American flags) when I spotted a Mooslem running frantically up and down through the aisles, and his name was Abdul-Mohammed-Jamal-Jabar-Steve-Jabar-Omar-Abdul. I was certain at any moment he would yell 'Allah Akbar'. Thankfully, my shopping cart was full of bacon (which as you all know, is Mooslem kryptonite). So I straightened my MAGA hat and pulled up my Confederate flag britches and grabbed a pack of bacon from my cart. I took that Mooslem over my knee and spanked his ass with the bacon while screaming 'Liberalism is a mental disorder!' over and over. Then, by the power of the bacon, Abdul-Mohammed-Jamal-Jabar-Steve-Jabar-Omar-Abdul instantly converted to Christianity and registered as a Republican. Trump showed up and awarded me the Medal of Honor because I probably stopped the next 9/11.I saw Donald Trump at a grocery store in D.C. yesterday.
I saw Donald Trump at a grocery store in D.C yesterday.
I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
After paying for the Milky Ways he proceeded to leave the store and throw all of them in the garbage. Haven't seen him since.